Is it wrong to want to be someone's friend in the hopes it will lead to something more?
Q. I met someone really cool on Saturday. I belong to a sci fi enthusiasts group on a activities website. We went to see Gravity on Saturday. It was only my second meetup with them and I had noticed one of the women there. We ended up sitting next to ...
A. 8 October 2013: Yes,loan her some books and send her a quick email, there's nothing wrong in that and I'm sure she'll be thrilled to bits. Just continue your friendship with her and be observant. During the course of time you should be able to judge whether her ... (read in full...)
Is it bad that I would date someone with HIV if I really cared about them?
Q. Is it bad that I would date someone with HIV if I really cared about them? Am I stupid for this? I am HIV-. Thanks in advance....
A. 8 October 2013: You have many years ahead of you so why invite a massive problem like this into your life? It could have a knock on effect for the rest of your life. You and he may not remain together and you may then find it extremely difficult to meet anybody ... (read in full...)
How do I open myself up to others and be more social?
Q. hello I have some social issues. I'm reserved person and I it find hard to talk with people, even with people in my age. When I was in primary school (age 7-14), I was too shy. I've always felt diffrent from others, like I don't deserve to be treat...
A. 17 August 2013: I do hope that you don't mind me re-opening your question but I have thought about you a lot because I used to be exactly the same as you when I was your age. I too felt that I missed a lot of teenage life due to shyness and lack of confidence. ... (read in full...)
I want him to feel love for me, not just lust!
Q. I m in a relationship with a guy...before dating him i was in love with someone else...but yet i m dating someone who i was friends with for 1 year. but i m not able to forget my past love. i want him desperately...but hes a complete ...
A. 16 August 2013: You cannot make somebody love you no matter what you do. He's not the right person for you and you really need to move on and forget him. Try to find somebody else who will appreciate you.... (read in full...)
Should I just keep quiet and my love and pain to myself in regards to a co-worker moving away?
Q. This is a stupid question but I'm going to ask it anyway because I feel so bad. I am a married man with children and I'm in love with a significantly younger woman at work. She's recently married and happily so as far as I can tell. We get on really ...
A. 15 August 2013: Definitely keep it to yourself. If she's happily married then what's the point in mentioning it? You would probably end up feeling a bit stupid and later regret ever having said anything. ... (read in full...)
I'm eight months pregnant with our first baby boy and I'm absolutely, ridiculously terrified!
Q. My husband and I have been together for seven years. We're as strong as ever and I couldn't live without him. He's my soul mate. Well, I'm eight months pregnant with our first baby boy and I'm absolutely, ridiculously terrified. I thought I was ...
A. 14 August 2013: No it's not a bad omen. I was terrified too but it's only natural. It's something you've never experienced before and you're not quite sure what to expect. It helped me enormously that my husband was so supportive. He was at my side for the ... (read in full...)
I like a guy, thought he liked me but turns out he wants my friend and we all work together!
Q. hello...i started talking to a guy my friend knew..we used to talk almost daily and i started to like him and i could see he was intrested in me..but then all of a sudden he stopped talking and went silent on me..i texted him once and he never ...
A. 14 August 2013: This is very hurtful for you but it may be of some comfort for you to know that you are not alone in this. It has happened to many people. It has certainly happened to me a couple of times in the past when I was around your age and unfortunately ... (read in full...)
The people I work with are so horrible they won't even talk to me!
Q. Why are the people I work with so horrible? I got a new job a few months ago and the people there are just horrible. I've tried to get to know them but none of them have taken interest in getting to know me. I've given up starting small one...
A. 12 August 2013: People are strange. You say you started the job a few months ago so, by their standards, you're still a new girl, you're not part of their 'inner sanctum'. I've come across this myself having had many jobs over the years. Just keep yourself to ... (read in full...)
Nearly two years after breaking up and I'm still not over her
Q. Why do I still cry now and again over a break up that happened 20 months ago? We were together 5 years then she ended it saying she wanted to be on her own. Within a month she had someone else. Only after the break up did I discover she had...
A. 12 August 2013: It can take an awful long time to get over a relationship and two years isn't long at all. When you've been together for a long time and your lives have been intertwined you can't just suddenly forget them. However there's a lot of truth in the ... (read in full...)
He stares at my lips while speaking. Does this mean anything?
Q. So there is an older man.. about 10 years older, I am 21... He is my superior at work. He's really smart and I find myself really attracted to him. Every time he is explaining something to me he looks at my lips while he speaks. And when he is t...
A. 12 August 2013: He fancies you but be careful. He's a work colleague and it can be become a very awkward situation if you encourage him and then find out he's not really what you want. There's also the fact that he may be married. It is best not to encourage ... (read in full...)
He gave me the reasons to go and snoop!
Q. My boyfriend is very close friends with his ex, he says she has been very good to him when he had problems, although she has since married, then divorced with a kid she is trying to make things work with her husband and is visiting him in the ...
A. 9 August 2013: Like so many men, he can't quite let go of the ex and understandably it's very hurtful (I'm sure there's a song in the charts about it actually). I think you're right when you say she wants to move on. He's keeping the door open in case she ... (read in full...)
Can I leave him or am I trapped forever?
Q. I have lived with my husband for six years. I believe that I have always relied on men in the past and have had several abusive relationships. I suffer from deep seated fears/phobias from my childhood and agoraphobia (mild now). My husband has clin...
A. 9 August 2013: Don't stay in a relationship where you are not happy or it will eat away at you forever. You clearly have deep feelings for your husband but you cannot live his life for him. When you can find somewhere I think you should move out. Being on your ... (read in full...)
Others admire my achievements but I just feel empty inside
Q. It all started in 2009 when I didn't make it to get into the career that I had always dreamed of.instead I found myself studying something else that I had thought of.I was very depressed,I felt I wasn't good enough.I had a great childhood,I was very ...
A. 9 August 2013: I am so pleased you have decided to go to an art class and to re-establish your connection with God. I'm sure you will meet many like minded, supportive and good people through both those things. You will always feel sad about your mother but I am ... (read in full...)
Am I overreacting by being upset that my boyfriend didn't come to see me when I was ill?
Q. Hi everyone, I'm just looking for some advice on whether I'm overreacting about this or not. I was taken into hospital yesterday with suspected appendicitis. I text my boyfriend of 4 years on the way there to let him know what was happening. When I ...
A. 8 August 2013: Yes I think you are over reacting. Hospitals have limited visitors and as he knew your family were going he probably thought he would be in the way or even not allowed in. I really wouldn't take it all to heart.... (read in full...)
Others admire my achievements but I just feel empty inside
Q. It all started in 2009 when I didn't make it to get into the career that I had always dreamed of.instead I found myself studying something else that I had thought of.I was very depressed,I felt I wasn't good enough.I had a great childhood,I was very ...
A. 8 August 2013: Yes, it's very normal to feel down and depressed from time to time. We all have our bad times for a variety of different reasons. It seems to me that you need to find some sort of recreational interest that will take up your time and stop you ... (read in full...)
I need advice on how to finish with him, how do I break up without him harming himself?
Q. Hello there. Well I’ve been with my boyfriend coming up for three years and I am no longer in love with him. I’m guessing my question is how should I finish with him? I've been putting it off for months now, tryng to find the right time, but we've ...
A. 7 August 2013: Next time you're with him say something like 'Look I've been thinking about us a lot recently and I feel that things are not really working out between us'. That way it gives him the opportunity to discuss it. You will then have to decide how to ... (read in full...)
Cheated on my boyfriend last night and feel so guilty! Should I tell him?
Q. I went out last night and got really drunk. A guy grabbed me and started kissing me and feeling me up and without thinking I started kissing him back. Then he said he would help to get me home safely but he got out the taxi too and we ended up ...
A. 7 August 2013: I know this is dis-honest but don't tell him. You made a massive mistake and you feel guilty but it is best to suffer that guilt alone. If you tell your boyfriend you will ruin everything for evermore. Learn from your mistake and don't ever do it ... (read in full...)
My mother wants me to buy my own house
Q. This is not a relationship question. As a young adult who has a BA degree and a stable career, would you recommend I put a down payment on a home and buy it or continue to rent? My mother tells me to buy a house so that I can own somethin...
A. 31 July 2013: If you can afford to buy then it is better than renting because it's an investment. I had my own house from the age of 22 and, at that time, felt it was like a millstone round my neck. I felt tied to it. However, it didn't stop me from going away ... (read in full...)
Can my siblings come after me for a decision my mom made on her insurance policy even though it's not my fault?
Q. Dear Cupid ,I have a question um my mom health is talking an awful turn we don't know how long she will be with us but she made me Power of Attorney over her and I was wondering who do I talk to about is there a (Will) my mom told me that if she ...
A. 31 July 2013: Has your mother made an official Will with her solicitor? Hopefully she has, you need to check with her. Some people make Wills that are considered unofficial and cannot be used after that person has passed away no matter what they wrote in that ... (read in full...)
I am still hung up on a guy on a dating site
Q. I went back on the dating site a few days ago. It seems like things are still the same. The guy I liked is still on there. It's really weird because just before I closed out my account the order of the guys that viewed me was different when I got ...
A. 31 July 2013: Do not get hung up over anybody you are emailing on a dating site. You've no real idea who they are. I read in the press a couple of weeks ago about three women who were all emailing the same guy. He sent one of them a photo he said he'd just ... (read in full...)
Have I just been asked out or not?
Q. Can anyone - preferably male - shed any light on how a man who is otherwise very confident will behave when he is supremely shy with women, and very very rarely takes interest in a woman in the sense of being attracted to her? I ask because I'm not ...
A. 29 July 2013: Basically what you have written is a bit difficult to understand. I'm not a man, so I can't answer the question as you would like, but all I can say is that you're never going to know how he feels until you actually meet him for a drink. You ... (read in full...)
How can I have a relationship when she is still in his life?
Q. Hello everyone. Thank you for taking the time to read this. I'm going through a situation and I'm trying to get some opinions. My boyfriend and I have been dating for about 2 months now. My problem is that he's still friends with his ex, ...
A. 29 July 2013: He's being very unfair to you. I think you would be best to end the relationship. He cannot expect you to settle for second place in his affections. Finishing with him may just make him think about the effect his actions are having on you and he ... (read in full...)
I like this guy and would like to date him but he lives far away and I'm afraid I'll blow it
Q. I like this guy but he lives far away. He said that he would date me if he lived closer to me. I asked him if he would visit me and he said yes. He asked me the same and I said yes. We seem to both like music and we had a good conversation. He has ...
A. 29 July 2013: You actually need to meet. There is no point in constantly emailing and texting. One meeting with a person will tell you all the things you want to know. If you've not met after three or four texts then you're quite possibly wasting your time. ... (read in full...)
Things used to be great but I'm seeing another side of him and I'm starting to feel like I can't trust him
Q. I'm 23 years old, and have been in a relationship with my 23 year old boyfriend for 2 years. We don't live together. Things started off great in the beginning, but the honeymoon phase is over and I'm beginning to see the not-so-great side of him. A ...
A. 29 July 2013: Basically what I can see here is that you have grown up and your boyfriend has not. You need to make a decision of whether to put up with it or whether to move on. You would probably feel a lot happier with a guy in his late twenties who has the ... (read in full...)
After two dates, he says he has no credit on his phone, do you think this is an excuse?
Q. Hi ive been on 2 dates with a man we got on really well i was starting to like him i haven't spoken to him for over a week a pointless conversation we had last time we spoke we were supposed to have a 3rd date which hasn't happened he says he has no ...
A. 29 July 2013: He's making excuses. If he really wanted to talk to you, meet you again etc. he would manage to do it no matter what.... (read in full...)
He didn't tell me at first that he had kids even though I specified I didn't want to date someone with kids. Now what?
Q. Well I met my boyfriend online over a month ago. I specifically said I don't want someone with kids. I was seeing him for about 2 weeks when we decided to make it official then he told me he has 2 kids. I let it go because at the time I thought I ...
A. 26 July 2013: If you're not happy now then it's best if you get out of the relationship before you become too entwined with his life. Alternatively you could ask him if you could meet his kids. Maybe he could take them to a park where you could meet up with them ... (read in full...)
I can't get over a guy I have been speaking to online
Q. I had been talking to a younger guy on a dating site and he is the most gorgeous guy I have ever seen. He said I was very beautiful in my profile and we had a few chats. He has called me hun from the beginning and it made me feel nice. I am 47 and ...
A. 26 July 2013: I apologise for giving you a harsh answer, I shouldn't have been so blunt. I'm afraid the age gap thing very rarely works. I have seen several age gap relationships completely fall apart. I know several 50 something women who now find themselves ... (read in full...)
The relationship has been going down hill for the last year ...
Q. Dear Cupid My bf of 4 years was not nice to me for the past 1 year, he behavior towards me is deteriorating as each day goes by. I am not sure whether all relationships goes sour as days goes by or its just me. He never picks up when i call, g...
A. 26 July 2013: Your boyfriend is a waste of time and doesn't deserve you. HE is the one who should be making himself less annoying and more appealing, not you. Don't spend anymore time on him and start looking around for somebody more worthwhile.... (read in full...)
I don't have any luck with men what do I do?
Q. I have been so bummed lately and it's because I haven't had a date in years. I am divorced and tried online dating, and it is not working for me. No matter what I do I can't get a date. I have been told that I am very attractive and I am not ...
A. 26 July 2013: Maybe you need to join some sort of social organisation for single people. In the UK we have quite a few of them where you can join like minded people for various activities. If you're not sporty then try dancing. I did. I have met most peop... (read in full...)
How do I make myself want to get over him?
Q. Recently a guy I really liked broke up with me and as much as I logically know I need to move on I can't make myself want to. We were only together for a few months but I really liked him. We got on incredibly well , made each other laugh. He ...
A. 26 July 2013: You can't really MAKE yourself want to move on. You can only move on when you feel ready. This young man has a lot of responsibility to cope with right now but it may be that you could meet up again in the future when things are more settled for ... (read in full...)
At what age did you really start to enjoy life?
Q. I turned 21 over the summer. I am single with no kids. I am a full-time college student and I will be graduating next year with a degree in accounting. I live at my parent's house, and I work part-time. I have never really felt so low and depressed ...
A. 26 July 2013: I think you need to consciously set some time to one side to do something you like doing. Maybe just one hour of 'me time' everyday or every few days, and it doesn't mean it has to cost money. You seem to have got bogged down with everything and ... (read in full...)
He said he'd be proud to be with me and then has ignored me
Q. Hello .. I wondered if you'd mind giving your opinions ? I'm a mum in thoughts.. I am in my thirties , single mother with good career house etc . I left my ex because he cheated even though I was deeply in love .. Met a man who I was with for six ...
A. 25 July 2013: Nothing surprises me about internet dating. My advice is to just continue searching and meeting others. It may be that this man contacts you again. There be a very good reason why you haven't heard from him again but you are doing the right thing ... (read in full...)
It's almost as if he doesn't care
Q. Hey Everyone! I was hoping someone would be able to put light into my situation.... Ive been with my boyfriend for 6 years (on and off) where we broke up for different reasons and then resolved our issues to give it another go. Well the past fe...
A. 25 July 2013: It would seem to me that your boyfriend has become very complacent about your relationship. He doesn't appear to be making an effort. It's as though your relationship has run its course and he's not bothered either way. You haven't met his friends ... (read in full...)
Scared of what goes bump in the night?
Q. A few nights ago I started to have more trouble then usually trying tosleep. I feel as though someone is watching me or I think of demons and ghost and my mine starts to race and I think of ppossession and my heart rate spikes a little. And this ...
A. 25 July 2013: It's very very easy for our imagination to 'run away' with us at night whilst we are lying in our beds. I think many of us lie there conjuring all sorts of things in our minds. Imagination is the key word here but that's all it is. Imagination. ... (read in full...)
I can't get over a guy I have been speaking to online
Q. I had been talking to a younger guy on a dating site and he is the most gorgeous guy I have ever seen. He said I was very beautiful in my profile and we had a few chats. He has called me hun from the beginning and it made me feel nice. I am 47 and ...
A. 25 July 2013: Sorry but you need to get real!!! He's 25, do you really think he's interested in you! He's just playing a game. Get back on that website and find somebody your own age.... (read in full...)
How do I open myself up to others and be more social?
Q. hello I have some social issues. I'm reserved person and I it find hard to talk with people, even with people in my age. When I was in primary school (age 7-14), I was too shy. I've always felt diffrent from others, like I don't deserve to be treat...
A. 25 July 2013: Shyness is a terrible thing and unfortunately people often think you're being stand offish because you don't join in. I was painfully shy well into my twenties and am still quiet now. Somebody once told me that shyness is selfishness. I think ... (read in full...)
Am I just too sensitive about comments made about my age/looks vs my husband's looks?
Q. People make all kind of remarks about my age. I am in my 40s, I know I look good for my age. My husband is 8 years older than me and has a beard. May be he is looking a bit much older than me, but not to the point that it's possible to imagine he ...
A. 25 July 2013: I wouldn't worry about what other people think of your age. It's a compliment to you that they think you are younger than you are. People say the same sort of things to me and I'm always very pleased. It is better that people think you look good ... (read in full...)
Should I just be with this man not matter what even though he wants to be a female?
Q. I saw this site on the interent so thought i would message in as i dont really know who i can talk to and i am starting to wonder if it is me with a problem, rather than others. I am really worrying about my future now but i dont seem to have any ...
A. 25 July 2013: Pack your bags and move on. Neither of these men are suitable so don't waste anymore of your life on them. It is far better to be on your own than be stuck with somebody who does not make you happy. Have you tried internet dating because maybe ... (read in full...)
Would love your opinion on what you think rational, logical men are like in love?
Q. Hi Would love your opinion on what you think rational, logical men are like in love? I'm very sensitive and emotional, whereas my partner is rational and logical. He said to me: with it not intending to be an arrogant sounding thing, that the grea...
A. 25 July 2013: Men and women are completely different, always have been. always will be. Men are not like us when it comes to love and relationships. We women looked for 'meanings' and 'answers' and get ourselves into an unnecessary state. The vast majority of ... (read in full...)
Am I just not date-able?
Q. I have been single for a year now and I am starting to get really frustrated with it. I am a attractive and interesting 22 year old girl. I am over weight, but I, and other guys I know find my body very sexy because of it's shape; I'm very hour ...
A. 18 July 2013: I am certain you are a very dateable girl. You are attractive and have a lovely personality. The problem is that you are just meeting or mixing with the wrong guys. If they are in your own age group the chances are that they are pretty immature and ... (read in full...)
LDR problem, I love him dearly but not sure if he loves me, and don't know what to do. Should I keep on waiting?
Q. I met my Aussie boyfriend 2 and a half years ago. He first flew here and chased after me after 2 months of talking. I was very smitten. We had our ups and downs in our LDR and 16 months forward he flew me to Aus for the first time and took me ...
A. 18 July 2013: Your friend clearly likes you but unfortunately he doesn't like you enough. He is making excuse after excuse and is trying to let you down gently. He probably cannot bring himself to say that he's just not interested, but all his actions say it ... (read in full...)
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