I miss my daughter now she is married!
Q. How do I deal with my jealousy towards my son-in-law? My daughter (I'm her dad), whom I love with all my heart, has been married for 2 years and it unfortunately has had a negative effect on our relationship. I feel jealous of her husband. Now she...
A. 6 August 2006: I would have liked to know more about your relationship with her husband and if they are local to you. Does he know how you feel or is he currently unaware of the situation?
You need to change your perpective, look for the evidence that she feel... (read in full...)
I don't want to have these crazy feelings for another man! How to get rid of them?
Q. I'm very confused and need help. I am married to a very nice man. In fact, he is just about perfect. There is nothing wrong with him at all. However, we don't have very much in common and over the years I have become less and less attracted to ...
A. 6 August 2006: There can be nothing wrong with 'the man' but everything wrong with your relationship. Guilt is the problem I suspect, you are not happy in your current situation but do not want to hurt the man you still 'love' but are not attracted to. You will ... (read in full...)
My wife says the reason we've had sex twice in three years is her, not me. But I don't know what that means!
Q. I am 36 years old and have been married for five years and have three kids. My wife is five years older then me. My question is that over the last three years I think we have maybe made love only twice and when I try and initiate things I get the ...
A. 6 August 2006: I have been in this situation and one of the things that put me off more was every attempt to show affection seems to turn into a demand for sex. I can rationally see that a man would want to do this, especially if his need is in this direction, but ... (read in full...)
I fell in love with my online lover and I am gutted
Q. I'm in my early fifties been married faithfully for over thirty years, have grown children and my husband adores and loves me, also we make love several times a week and it is always brilliant and long sessions. My husband however does not enjoy ...
A. 6 August 2006: I agree with Dr Psych but in addition it may help you to access counselling to deal with your sexual needs. It sounds like an addiction and it is possible for you to break that with some help. If you can afford it Relate may help, or you could try ... (read in full...)
I trusted my girlfriend not to play around when we were together, but now she's travelling and it plays on my mind!
Q. Hello everyone, My girlfriend of four months has recently gone travelling. This was a trip she had planned before we met, so it's not something we could do together. I know she has had many more sexual partners than me, and she openly tells me...
A. 6 August 2006: First of all, you are right to be concerned as it is a normal reaction but a negative one. She is being honest with you and you have to respect her for that, she is also telling you who she has met and she doesn't have to do that. It is very likely ... (read in full...)
I am not a sexual person so can those relationships work?
Q. I think this question might be a bit BIG to ask here, but I only ever think it to myself so it's nice to know that other people can finally know my thoughts [on relationships]. Ok... I am young[ish] (i'm 24) and although I've had sexual relations...
A. 5 August 2006: My first marriage was spoiled by my lack of sex drive, as I never had any desire either. However, looking back it was also his fault, not that he knew it at the time, it was just that my inexperience and his inexperience meant neither of of knew ... (read in full...)
My problems with my girlfriend!
Q. i was reading one of the questions on here about if you should forgive someone for cheating on you, or if you shouldn't. and a lot of the responses said that it depends on the person and if they seem truly sorry for what they did. and it made me ...
A. 5 August 2006: In my opinion if there was much about her she would have told the truth. It is disrespectful to you for her to expect you to sit back and laugh about it when she knows that you know how deceitful she has been. You deserve better!... (read in full...)
Does this guy like me or not!
Q. one of my colleagues at work is sending out very mixed signals, well a lot of people say hes a big head with a huge ego and lets face it he is a real A-hole to most of the people he works with. Well a few days ago he had real go at someone and i was ...
A. 5 August 2006: The wink says he is a manipulator to me, and I am not trusting of the he'll scatch your back if you scatch his. Does not like a good basis for a relationship whether he likes you or not. You may find he will 'like you' if you comply with his plans.... (read in full...)
Breaking up is problematic
Q. Hi,my ex and I broke up in January after a 4 year relationship, he decided that we needed time apart to work out our problems. We lived together until the end of June and during this time (at the beginning of June) he met someone else, he broke up ...
A. 5 August 2006: I think he is using you and he is also more than a bit confused himself. if you continue to allow him to do this to you he will have no excuse to make a decision and maybe will keep you hanging on because it suits him. he is testing you with his ... (read in full...)
Our sex life isn't the same after his vasectomy
Q. I was wondering if any gentlemen (or women with your men) out there ever experience their sexual drives decreasing after a vasectomy or close to age 40? My husband has had this happening and he had his vasectomy at early 39 and is nearing 40. Since ...
A. 4 August 2006: There seem to a few possibilities here. One he may be psychologially affected by the vasectomy and be afraid to have sex, but if he has had good sex since then it would seem unlikely. Another possibility is he could be suffering from early menopause ... (read in full...)
Any body got any help on erectile dysfunction without the use of drugs ?
Q. I am in a loving relationship we are both over the 65 mark and in good health. Both want full sex but I am unable to perform, Typical erectile dysfunction I think.Don't want drugs if possible. Any known cures please....
A. 4 August 2006: Shania is right but also some GPs are not very good at giving full advice as apparrently 98% are embarrassed. I find many men have been given medicine as you put it and it doesn't work without the support that should go with it and then men feel ... (read in full...)
My husband wants me back, but I want to work out my control issues first
Q. please help my husband of 10 years has left me about 1 and a half months ago . now he wants to try to work things out which i want so much to do .the biggest problem is that i have a control issue where i want to be in control please help me what do ...
A. 4 August 2006: If you have insight into the problem and can admit it to yourself then you are almost there. It may be best if you could both access professional counselling but it is not always free. Otherwise, try going out with your husband where you make your ... (read in full...)
Having problems with my pill and maybe pregnant
Q. Hi, please can someone help me, me and my fiance had unprotected sex about 4 times about 5 months ago i had only been off the pill about 10 days when my period was late by 3 days i took a test which said negative then came on the day after. I then ...
A. 3 August 2006: It doesn't sound as if you are pregnant as periods usually stop. You could feel bloated and wee more for lots of reasons. Just to put your mind at rest, go along to your family planning clinic and have a pregnancy test, then if it is negative as I ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend says he is impotent
Q. I'm 18, my boyfriend is 20 and we've been dating 2 months. I found it strange he didn't want sex at all during our relationship. Then he revealed to me he was impotent (and was extremely embarrassed when he said it!) Where do we go next?? ...
A. 18 June 2006: No Viagra at his age! He should go to see his GP and if his GP is too embarrassed (and some are), try the practice nurse. If that doesn't work, ask to see a sex therapist, that is not as flippant as it sounds, a good one is highly trained in psych... (read in full...)
I'm so down about my life how can improve my out look and stop being so negative!
Q. I'm 22 years old and at the moment I'm so down about everything. Firstly, Im in so much debt with my banks that when I get paid I can never buy myself anything nice as all my money goes to them. I have had to move home with my parents because of ...
A. 18 June 2006: You sound in a rut. A negative spiral of self defeat that only you can break. You could go to the citizen's advice bureau who will help you sort out your money issues, but most of all you need to recognise that spending more money you haven't got ... (read in full...)
Is it normal for sex to hurt... I feel so embarrassed!
Q. Hey, I'm 20 and i've been with my boyfriend for 18 months now. I had sex for the first time after 4 mnths of being with him. The problem is it still hurts initially when we do it so this puts me off. Is this normal or have I got some kind of ...
A. 23 April 2006: It probably hurts because you are nervous and also dry. Your boyfriend is possibly inexperienced and just wants to get in there. It may be more fun for both of you if he slows down and VERY gently works on making you want sex rather than the focus ... (read in full...)
Embarrased about going about with my mum, What should I do?
Q. I don't really know how to say this without it sounding stupid, but here goes... My mum and I are really close and she takes me and my little sister to town with her quite a lot. I really enjoy these trips but I get really nervous when I pass oth...
A. 22 April 2006: I am pleased I never had this problem with my 3 children, though my sister did. My philosophy I be strong enough to have your own mind and sod what others think. I was so impressed once when my son's friend, then age 14 was playing 'tick' round ... (read in full...)
Am I allowed to tell him how I feel, even if he's enganged!?
Q. I just found out oday that the person I believe is my true soulmate is getting maried in July, I know I don't have any right to feel as hurt as I am, for the countless times that I have hurt him, but it is killing me inside. I am engaged but I am ...
A. 22 April 2006: From personal experience I think you should tell him. he is not married and to allow him time to rethink now could reinforce true feelings he may feel for his fiance, or allow him to question how he really feels for you. I once married a man ... (read in full...)
Am Married, But I love my Former Lover, What should I do??
Q. ok. to make a long story short. i have been married for 3 years now. my life involves a lot of traveling and my husband and i are constantly separated. our latest separation was a year and a half long. i met a wonderful guy, fell in love with him ...
A. 21 April 2006: It sounds as if your relationship with your husband is on the rocks anyway and you have made your mind up you are unhappy if you stay with him. I would suggest you sperate from your husband and not rush intot hearms of the other one either. Just ... (read in full...)
I feel like an idiot and my self-esteem is zero! All because he watches Porn. Advice needed
Q. Should my partner view porn on line know that we live together?? I am not a prude, have owned a vibrator, have watched porn with my partner but for some reason i thought that once we moved in together, personal satisfaction would not be required so ...
A. 21 April 2006: I think it could also be just a bad habit he is into because of boredom. he might not like what you are watching and perhaps his screen is favourable to yours. Perhaps you could both do with making an effort into doing something that builds on the ... (read in full...)
I think I want him now, but what about him?
Q. I'm not sure what to think about my guy friend. We've known each other for years and he used to fancy me for ages but i never felt the same way. We go to different colleges now but we still keep in touch and i see him when I'm out clubbing. Lately ...
A. 21 April 2006: Seems this guy would benefit from you making a move for a change, especially if you feel positive towards him. It sounds as if he's been holding a candle to you for some time. be a shame if you just missed the boat because you have grown accumstomed ... (read in full...)
How can I cure my premature ejaculation?
Q. Hi. This is slightly embarassing but i have a feeling theres people out there that will be able to help me. Its just I don't last long enough when my girlfriend performs oral sex on me - in under a minute ive ejaculated and it just messes up ...
A. 10 April 2006: Plan sex with her and for a period of time mastubate about 30 minutes beforehand. Even if you have lost the urge, try having sex then and you may find it lasts longer. Eventually, as you get more experienced you will have more control.... (read in full...)
We don't have sex. Is divorce the answer?
Q. my husband and I have been having marital problems. We have been to a counsellor but nothing has changed. We don't have sex. I think it's been 3 months now. He never wants it, and I think it's because he's afraid of not performing, which has ...
A. 31 March 2006: First of all I would need to know if he has seen his GP and if preliminary blood tests have been done to exclude physiological problems can could mean either he does not have an erection, or has lost his sex drive, or both?
If he has, then the... (read in full...)
I feel resentment because my wife sees sex as a "chore" and shows no enthusiasm! Any tips?
Q. I'm wondering about womens attitudes towards sex. I know everybody is different but allow me to explain. I work rotating. This week I'm working nights, 11 pm - 7am. This doesn't leave us much time for sex. We also have two teenagers runing...
A. 17 March 2006: There is a subtle way of making HER want it by being desirable. You need to discover what turns her on rather than payment in kind in advance by gifts and dinner. next time you are lying next to her, concentrate on stroking her as if she is valued. ... (read in full...)
What can I do to help my wife reach orgasm?
Q. I have been married for 2 years now. My wife is Japanese. I can't make her cum. When we have sex we can't try different position because I hurt my wife. I just wanted to know how we can help and work out this problem and what can I do to help the ...
A. 13 November 2005: One of the main problems I have encountered is a man focuses too much on the clitoris which is extremely sensitive. It doesn't necessarily work by direct contact, but VERY gentle stroking around it. If necessary use a cream to ensure she is as ... (read in full...)
Sex is over in just a few seconds. What can I do?
Q. Dear Cupid Sex for me is always over in seconds and it always has been. Even when I masturbate it doesn't even last a minute, but this is not the case when a girl does it. There are 2 things I know would help alleviate this problem but I'am...
A. 13 November 2005: You don't say how old you are. If you are very young then you know I am going to say that you seem to be having or planning to have frequent sexual experiences which will put you at risk of not developing a genuine close relationship other than just ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend thinks it's OK to ogle other women while we're out together...
Q. Help - My boyfriend ogles and says "HEY NOW!" as he stares at beautiful blondes walking by when he was drinking I was with my boyfriend in a restaurant /bar. He had lot to drink and I was wondering if the following scenario should bother me. actua...
A. 12 November 2005: I'm afriad I agree with above. It is the beginning of a potentially abusive relationship where he is the taker and you are the giver. Get yourself together and see the sense in it. Do you want to spend a future with a man who is treating you like ... (read in full...)
My boss is twice my age, but I think I'm in love with him!
Q. Hi, I'm 20 years old and I work in retail. The job I've been in for over a year now, and the problem is I love my boss. However, he's 40 years old - twice my age - and has little idea about how I feel. I really don't know what to do! I don't kn...
A. 12 November 2005: I think Bev gives great answers but I think her personal experience is tainting this one. Generally, a similar age is probably a good idea, BUT so many marriages break up these days anyway, is it really worth missing out on what could be a happy ... (read in full...)
I'm a girl with a crush on a girl... Am I a lesbian?
Q. I have a huge crush on this girl. I am by the way a female. I am only 15 yrs old. She even asked me out. I went to her house for a sleepover and we kissed. Does this mean I'm a lesbian?...
A. 12 November 2005: No, it doesn't mean you are a lesbian. Don't make your mind up to giving yourself a label at this stage. Your hormones are raging and it is easy to be confused by your feelings just now. Don't panic. I am not lesbian, I like men, but I believe we ... (read in full...)
The timing was terrible. Her crush on me ended before I got interested in her!
Q. I recently found out my best friend had a crush on me about 3 months ago. Now I have a crush on her but from everything I can tell I think it's too late. What should I do?...
A. 11 November 2005: Reverse the situation. Assuming you have had a previous crush on someone that you did not get, do you get over the crush or just learn to be realistic to reduce the pain? Could you just be feeling like responding because she has become unattain... (read in full...)
The sex in our lives disappeared because he "doesn't feel good". What does that mean?
Q. My sex life is gone. My boyfriend doens't hold me, kiss me, or touch me anymore. this has be going on for about three months now,. He states the fact its because he doesn't feel good and can't explain why. I love him with all my heart. But I ...
A. 10 November 2005: You don't say your ages. It could be psychological due to stress etc. or he may be having trouble with his erections. Could he be concerned about a previous sexual partner?
Be prepared for a worst scenario explantion and sit down relaxed in priv... (read in full...)
Is the fact that my husband "needs" time with his friends normal?
Q. Hello, I ve been married for 10 months. I love my husband and I know he loves me too. He has this habit of going to the cafe across the street and sit with his friends, talk , play cards and stuff. I made it clear that I am not really excited a...
A. 7 November 2005: Yes it is not only normal, but a good idea. I suggest you make friends too, not to get back at him, but so you both have a healthy relationship where you are not solely dependent on each other. I am just ending 25 years of marriage because I am ... (read in full...)
Been with my girl for 2 years and I love her... but I can't take my eyes off her friend!
Q. I coached my GF for 3 yrs b/f we got together. All those 3 years, she was best pals with another girl. The 3 of us would spend lots of time together away from sports. I made vague passes at both of them all that time. They are both lovely ...
A. 7 November 2005: Think what you want first. Think about what other qualities these girls have that you would treasure in along term relationship. Would you respect this 'pal' if she could do that to her friend?
As for your boner, get rid of it when you go for a pee,... (read in full...)
After 3 years of dating, my girlfriend won't even consider foreplay...
Q. I'm 26 and my girlfriend is 23. We have been dating for 3 years. She is completely frigid about any thing physical. Her parents act like sex is the devil or that it doesn't exist. My question is, what do I do? Do I leave her or is there some way...
A. 4 November 2005: I would be interested to know if you can talk about it with her or if it is a taboo subject. If it is, then that has to be the first hurdle. If it isn't and she is having a physical reaction out of her control then try to put less emphasis on your ... (read in full...)
The chance for sex came around, but I panicked because I'm inexperienced....
Q. Im 22 and still a virgin. This hasn't been a problem for me in the past because I don't have any trouble getting girls, I just haven't wish to sleep with any of them because I'm more of a relationship kind of guy than a one night stand one. However, ...
A. 4 November 2005: You don't say if your girlfriend is a virgin or not but either way is fine is you feel the time is really right for you. Don't just feel you have to lose your virginity because of your age as that is not the right reason. If you know this girl is in ... (read in full...)
I'm worried about the bend in my willie. What do women think?
Q. My question is to girls. Do they really mind about the size or shape of a man's penis? This is really very embarrasing to me to talk about, but here goes. My penis is screwed to one side like a bannana. It's not small at all, but I'm too scared to ...
A. 29 October 2005: It could be condition called Peyronie's disease. Apparrently Bill Clinton has it which is how Monica L could identify she had actially had sex with him. I believe it can cause some discomfort. Of course it depends on the degree of bend you are ... (read in full...)
I'm feeling low and lost, so I masturbate... I can't stop!
Q. I need help, I can't stop masturbating every day, sometimes a few times daily. I'm single and hate it. I've been depressed and I can feel myself slipping back down again as I've just lost my job and so I have nothing. I feel so low and stuck in...
A. 27 October 2005: You are stuck in a rut and masturbation has just become an addictive habit that won't do you any harm. When you feel the need to do it again, try to defer for a hour or so and fill your time with something else. Try to restrict it to once a day so ... (read in full...)
Sex should be a pleasure, but my wife has serious hang-ups...
Q. My wife and I are 45 and 44. 2nd marriage for both. My wife (whom I love dearly) is EXTREMELY naive about sex in general. She won't go down on me and doesn't like me to go down on her (which I truly enjoy). "It's nasty". I tried to get her to tweak ...
A. 27 October 2005: You may be going a be quick for her in your desperation to have a good time. Try slowing down a bit, even if you have to mastubate to finish it off later. Women can take ages to wind up to full sexual arousal so it could be that you need to tempt ... (read in full...)
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