A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Heey.I recently broke things off with the guy i liked because he said he isn't looking for a relationship as he isn't willing to work and is too immature for one. He said that he prefers to be single. He also implied he isn't looking for sex because he says he is not ready for that kinda thing with us. ( i must add we did do stuff so he really does mean he isn't looking for sex. i believe he feels that physical stuff should be in a proper relationship).The problem is, i really like him and want him to come after me/ be willing to work. Any advice on what i could do? Should i make him jealous??Thank you in advance :)
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (29 November 2010):
 I think you need to forget this guy. Let him grow up a little.
Playing games never really work as YOU want them too.
A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (29 November 2010):
1 - Never make a man jealous. It never works. Women have tried that over the years, and it just doesn't work. It will just make you seem desperate and immature. A girl tried to make me jealous a few years ago, and I just didn't ever bother with her again. I don't have time for immaturity, and neither will any decent guy. So don't make him jealous, because you'll just look foolish in the end
2 - If he was too immature before, and wasn't looking for a relationship before, then he won't have suddenly changed now. He is who he is, and you made the decision to get rid of him because he was not what you were looking for. He is still the same man, and won't come running. He wasn't looking for total commitment when he was with you, so he won't be looking for it now.
I think you should just let him go. He's not ready for a relationship, and I think you just need a bit more life experience with other guys so you understand us a bit more before you commit too. You have plenty of time to find the right guy. But, if you don't understand us, you'll just find the wrong ones all the time. Remember, a man will change for himself, and no one else. You can't make him change.
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A
male
reader, Jmtmj  +, writes (29 November 2010):
 Making him jealous isn't going to suddenly make him want to be in a relationship with you.
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A
female
reader, Nouvelle32 +, writes (29 November 2010):
Find someone else to like.. this guy doesn't want a relationship with you & he told you as much. When a guy tells you he doesn't want something or is not ready for something, you should believe him. I know that sucks to hear because you like him, but that's how men are. I know from experience. There are probably tons of other available ppl. for you... you are too young to be hung up on an immature person. Go find someone to date and just have fun... enjoy being single :)
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