A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My bf seems to be angry with me and i haven't seen or spoken to him for about 2 days. A few smaller things happened prior but it seems to be because i didn't want him to come back with me to my place on the weekend. It was late, i was extremely tired and just wanted to sleep. I had a bad night sleep the night before and also had a headache. I said i would come up the next day etc. It didn't seem to matter. Soon as i said it he start to sulk and barely managed to give me a kiss goodbye. I forgot something and had to go back to his place. He opened his door, handed it to me and just shut the door on me - did not look at me once or say anything. This i found very rude. When i got home, i apologized as said i was tired etc. I didn't hear from him the next day. I texted him a few times about general/happy stuff but nothing. I finally heard from him and he said he is now wondering about our relationship. I replied and also sent him a more detailed message on facebook, apologising again but I haven't heard from him all day today. I'm not sure why i am doing all the apologising! He has his days where he wants to stay at home, or he comes over but doesn't stay or for what ever reason. It seems its OK for him, but soon as i say no, its like he is insulted and sulks. I haven't contacted him again. But i am not sure what to do. We have been together for 3 years and he is in his early 30s.
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male
reader, TrancedRhythmEar  +, writes (19 March 2013):
 He's trying to make you feel guilty and manipulate your emotions because this is very minor to get upset over. Dont apologize anymore on this.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (18 March 2013):
 Wow he sulks like a baby when he doesn't get his way doesn't he?
STOP apologizing for being adult enough to say "hey I'm too tired for anything tonight" it's not like it was your first date or something...
The rules in any relationship have to be the SAME for both partners.
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A
female
reader, fi_the_tree  +, writes (18 March 2013):
 Sounds very childish! I wouldn't even bother reasoning with him. You've apologized on numerous occasions now, don't apologize any more.
If i were you, i would play him at his own game, see how he likes it!! But that's just me. If you don't want to do that, then when he does come round, talk to him about it. Tell him about how it's made you feel and that it can't be one rule for him and another for you!
I wish you all the best :)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 March 2013): I posted something on this website about a week ago regarding a similar situation, with my girlfriend going into "no contact" mode when she's mad at me. Go look it up and see if you find some similarities in behavior. It sounds like your boyfriend is of the same ilk. These people like to manipulate and inflict suffering if things don't go their way, so they ignore you.
You are doing the apologizing when he is the one who should apologize. Again, this is a manipulative and selfish tactic that allows him to shift the blame to make you look like the guilty one. Your boyfriend has some serious unresolved trust and control issues.
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