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... Send *scalaya a private message | | | *scalaya's profile:I am born of the hopes, and ambitions of my mother and father. Every day I instill hopes, and dreams in other people. I inspire the young to do their best, and the old to rekindle the flames of hope. I am a poet, a lover, a skater. I am a musician, a healer, and most important of all, I am like everyone else. I hold no uniqueness, everyone has the power to be great, amazing people. But just like the capacity for that exists, so does the capacity to be a crude, devilish person. It's your choice, choose your path. No matter what you decide, stick to your guns, keep your head up high, take confident, deep strides. And never let go of your dignity. Because at the end of the day, that's one of the only things we have left.
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Is my mum's doctor coming onto her?? Is this normal??
Q. please could i get some very much needed help and advice regarding my mum and her doctor ,for a month now my mum who is a good looking woman for her age 59,has been visiting her doctor,regarding feeling low and down and finding things a bit tough ...
A. 7 September 2007: If you really need good proof, next time she goes in have her carry a Pocket Voice Recorder, once the appointment starts, have her turn it on, to record the whole appointment. If there was any bad behavior than it'd be caught on tape, and it would ... (read in full...)
Is my mum's doctor coming onto her?? Is this normal??
Q. please could i get some very much needed help and advice regarding my mum and her doctor ,for a month now my mum who is a good looking woman for her age 59,has been visiting her doctor,regarding feeling low and down and finding things a bit tough ...
A. 7 September 2007: She needs to file a complaint to the Clinic/office/hospital he works out immediately. She should also tell the man that she wants no part of that kind of relationship, considering he is married, and has kids. Also, change doctors immediately.... (read in full...)
What do Women think of testicles?
Q. Curious question here... Now I think I know the answer already, but I'm wondering what women think of testicles. From what I've gathered ladies seem to think they're repulsive, and I can't disagree, they're far from pretty. But do any women ou...
A. 7 September 2007: As far as I know they're not a turn off o.o, i think most women are indifferent to the size of the Testicles, and in general their existance. If they weren't such a key part in the baby-making process, i don't think anyone would really care if ... (read in full...)
Still living with my ex and want to move on, but my new boyfriend hasnt suggested we live together
Q. Hello beautiful people, please help me to see the truth, here is my problem…… I am divorced for one year but still living with my husband. We have been unhappily married for 3 years. It’s a camaraderie relationship with no other feelings involve...
A. 6 September 2007: great to hear things are working out fine! Best of luck with the time before your wedding, and the wedding.
Take care, hun.... (read in full...)
Why do some men show extra affection to their girlfriend in front of other women?
Q. Why do some men show extra affection to their girlfriend in front of other women? This happens to me sometimes in public places, like the grocery store. It is like these men are showing off. As if I am going to be jealous, or impressed. I could ...
A. 6 September 2007: I do that to my girlfriend ALL the time, haha. Personally, for me it's more of, "I'm taken, this is my girlfriend. Leave me alone"
But it could any number of things, he's worried you'll be jealous, or maybe he is showing off, either way, he's jus... (read in full...)
Can my mother forbid me to see my older boyfriend, whom I met on msn?
Q. Hey, 6 months ago i met my boyfriend through msn and have been together 4 months now, 2 days ago he moved down to be with me. We love each other but i was wondering if my mum can stop me seeing him? im 16 and hes 27. Please give me good advice x...
A. 4 September 2007: Ma'am, if you knew this:
"He cannot be arrested at all or go to jail because at 16 people can fuck whoever they want without their parents say!!!"
You pretty much answered your own question, why'd you bother answering a question you alr... (read in full...)
Can my mother forbid me to see my older boyfriend, whom I met on msn?
Q. Hey, 6 months ago i met my boyfriend through msn and have been together 4 months now, 2 days ago he moved down to be with me. We love each other but i was wondering if my mum can stop me seeing him? im 16 and hes 27. Please give me good advice x...
A. 4 September 2007: But still, in the UK your parents still have right to forbid you seeeing him, until you're 18.... (read in full...)
Can my mother forbid me to see my older boyfriend, whom I met on msn?
Q. Hey, 6 months ago i met my boyfriend through msn and have been together 4 months now, 2 days ago he moved down to be with me. We love each other but i was wondering if my mum can stop me seeing him? im 16 and hes 27. Please give me good advice x...
A. 3 September 2007: Yes, while you are under the age of 18, your parents can forbid whatever they want. Also I believe an age difference of 16 - 27 is illegal.... (read in full...)
My dad would disown me if he knew we were together!!
Q. Im going out with an 18 year old guy, but Im only 13 almost 14. I've been with him for a 13 months and Ive told him my own do's and don'ts and he said he repected that and wasn't going to go beyond the line, dont worry I never though of having sex ...
A. 2 September 2007: You need to be honest with your parents, lying to them, and putting it off, imagine if you get caught. Your parents can EASILY call the cops, and have your boyfriend arrested for Statutory Rape, and will most likely be sent to prison,
Hones... (read in full...)
Is she playing games??
Q. I was in a relationship for 3 years. The first year was amazing we loved and cared about each other so much always showing affection and always trying to please each other, the second and third was up and down, and now this last month and a half it ...
A. 2 September 2007: I think your judgement is sound, stick to your guns man, she might be stringing you along, and whether she really makes the effort or not will be the test, i suppose.
Best of luck, take care bro.... (read in full...)
I like him but hes going into rehab...what should I do??
Q. Hello, I need some advice regarding a guy I met on a dating site. We have had 3 dates, and in the past week he has been quite distant - and I found out why tonight (on our third date - a DVD at his place). Basically, he has to go into resident...
A. 2 September 2007: I'd say, try and meet with him more, hang out, not necissarily a date, just hanging out, like friends. Show him you want to be around, and that you're there to support him through his hard times. Show him you want to continue dating him, and ... (read in full...)
She doesn't answer the phone when I call, or she'll answer and promise to call me back but never will.
Q. Hi, I am 18 years old and decided to start experimenting with a relationship with another woman 2 months ago. The biggest problem is that she's 39. It was troublesome at first, but after a couple of nights together we both feel much more ...
A. 2 September 2007: Sounds to me like she isn't interested anymore, bro. Sorry for the situation, you're not doing anything wrong.
Best of luck, take care.... (read in full...)
Should I drop an email to ask for a catch up just like friends?... He has a girlfriend.
Q. I met this guy five years ago, we broke up two years ago but still kept in touch for a year. We had a huge arguement last year, he went away with another girl by the end and we stopped talking, contacting... we even pretended didnt see each other if ...
A. 2 September 2007: If he has a girlfriend, just catch up as friends. If you still care about him, it's within reason to ask him if he still has feelings for you, however, he does have a girlfriend, and I'm sure no one likes to have their boyfriend stolen from them, so ... (read in full...)
Don’t know if he got too "settled" in the relationship or I tend to overanalyse things and expect perfection!
Q. I have been seeing this guy (34 years old) for 3 months and I feel confused as to what is going on in this relationship. I don’t know if he has just got a bit too settled in the relationship so is not making so much effort as he did at first (which ...
A. 2 September 2007: well, over analyzing things, and expecting perfection in ANY situation can cause problems. People are human, and things are never going to be perfect. The only thing you can expect from someone else, At least, realistically, is that they try their ... (read in full...)
My mother brings down my self-esteem! Please help...
Q. I am 16 years old and need more than this. I'm living with my mom and dad, my dad is ok and I love him. But my mom, she brings my self esteem down. For the past 4 years I worked for her, respect her, and loved for her. Until May, she had to close ...
A. 2 September 2007: I don't mean to sound racist, but i find that alot of the older asian mothers, and fathers tend to be very extreme about what they expect of their children, all my friend's parents (that are asian) are just like that. It amazes me, sometimes. But I ... (read in full...)
I'm 15 and always really depressed...
Q. Hi I'm 15 and always really depressed, since I was 10. I moved from my hometown to somewhere I don't like, I've lived here 5 years now and it depresses me. I can't trust people around here and my past still haunts me. I was sexually abused by my ...
A. 2 September 2007: First off: I'd like to apologize the hardships you've endured in your past, it breaks my heart to hear of young girls who were treated so poorly, especially by someone they once trusted, and loved.
Hun, it's always hard to cope, if you try to d... (read in full...)
Why does he not call me?
Q. Hey, My boyfriend and I have been dating for 6 months. The first 5 months were great, he was doing a lot of chasing and making me feel special aaaaallll the time, just like i wanted. He was much much sweeter to me than I was to him. I was being...
A. 2 September 2007: It shouldn't matter who really initiates the communication. Hell, my girlfriend's the one who always calls, not because i don't do it, but because she usually beats me to it. Sometimes things do change when the chase is over, but maybe he expects ... (read in full...)
Does anyone have any tips about squirting?
Q. Can anyone help me please? My partner and I experiment in bed and we saw a porn film that involved a lady who squirted her cum. We have since tried this ourselves with no joy... does anyone have any tips? ...
A. 2 September 2007: Squirting is something that is rarely actually done. Many women can't do it, believe it or not, in the porn industry alot of the times that the women "squirt" they're actually urinating. They force themselves to urinate for a squirting video, for ... (read in full...)
She can't make up her mind. What do we do?
Q. My best friend is a very attractive girl, I don't consider myself too good looking although she persists on telling me otherwise. The problem is that we recently kissed, quite passionatley on more than one occasion and she declared how she was in ...
A. 2 September 2007: I'd say that you two need to talk about your feelings, and it's up to her to decide whether or not she wants to end it with her boyfriend. Don't interfere with their relationship, as it will take it's course. However, you both are wrong for kissing, ... (read in full...)
Hi, I'm 13 and I want to have sex.
Q. Hi, I'm 13 and I want to have sex. My girlfriend said no. I don't want to pressure her but i want it sooo bad. I really love her but i don't know if i should break up with her. please help me i don't know what to do....
A. 2 September 2007: Do NOT break up with a girl simply because she will not spread her legs for you. That is plain rude, and stupid. It also shows that love isn't really there, it does however show that you obviously do not LOVE her.
Stay with her, if you really l... (read in full...)
Loved but abused?
Q. Hi. Please can someone help? I have been with my partner for nearly a year now. I am his first love and his first proper girlfriend. I also live with him and his mum. (She is hardly ever there though) He is a friend of my younger brother (my b.fd...
A. 2 September 2007: that's always a sticky situation. If EVER you feel unsafe, you need to get out immediately. Safety is your top priority, hun.
If he's got anger management issues, he needs to go to therapy, speak to him about that, and hopefully that will hel... (read in full...)
He said that kissing means a lot more than sex, and that's why he doesn't do it. Why can't I get over this situation?
Q. I have been friends with this guy for almost a year. We hang out almost everyday. One day we went out drinking and I had hit on him. Nothing happened that night. We then spoke about what happened later on and a lot of sexual tension was built. ...
A. 1 September 2007: The fact that he won't kiss you is NOT a reason to abandon your friendship. Whether he really believes that kissing means alot more than sex or not, it's his beliefs, and you should respect them. You sound like a very confident young lady, nothing's ... (read in full...)
I have come to realise no matter how much he means to me I can't come to terms with the fact he has kids (he is divorced). Should I leave?
Q. Hi, I am in a relationship of two years with a man who I get on really well with. We never argue, laugh alot together, and the sexual chemistry is strong. He is 12 years older than me and has two grown up children (16 and 20). He just recently got ...
A. 1 September 2007: I know it's hard to accept the children of your partner's ex. It's like a reminder that he was in the same position before. But, if you truly care for him, his children shouldn't be that big of a problem, you just have to press forward, get to know ... (read in full...)
How to be able to say to him that I love him, and miss him? I have always had this problem...
Q. How to say him, that i realy miss him, and love him? I have always this damn problem... I just find myself incapable of saying to any guy that i Miss him, and have feelings toward One. My father and mother's marriage was and still is hell, a...
A. 1 September 2007: Just try smaller things, one step at a time, hun. First, try telling him that you are glad he's back. Or atleast happy to see him again. Try telling him you really like him alot, and eventually building up to saying those three beautiful words, "I ... (read in full...)
I'm drifting away from my family because they hate my guy that's 29. I'm 17. What should I do??
Q. Ive been seeing this man for nearly 2 years now, but my family hate him because hes older than me, im 17 and hes 29. He has been nothing but nice to me since we met, but ive been slowly drifting away from my family, and i dont want that to happen, ...
A. 1 September 2007: That's a sticky situation, hun.
But, the best thing to do is explain your feelings for him to your parents, and have him do the same. If they don't come around, any drifting away is being done by you. Your parents, and family love you dearly, ... (read in full...)
How can I attract a 'good' man, who's looking for a relationship and not just sex?
Q. Hi, I am 26 years old and my last and only relationship ended when I was 19 years old. I have hardly dated much since then. I think I am an attractive woman as I get alot of male attention, and asked out on alot of dates. But, it seems like I ...
A. 1 September 2007: Well, a good way of weeding out the creeps, is staying away from the club scene. A lot of sex-crazed men, perverts, and whatnot make those kinds of places their hunting ground.
Another way of attracting good men is the way you dress. A thong in... (read in full...)
Is he really into me or does he just see me once a month for sex?
Q. Is he into me or is it just sex? We have went on trips together and we see each other once a month. We don't spend much time talking on the phone. We usually just call to say hi and ask how each other is doing. We have spent time together with out ...
A. 1 September 2007: Well.. the lack of contact suggests that maybe he is only in it for the sex. How ever, if he's anything like me (I'm incredibly shy on the phone, and HATE talking any other way other than face to face.)
Best possibility would to be to tell him... (read in full...)
I like a girl thats a few months older than me. But she has a boyfriend. What should I do?
Q. I like a girl named Maddie but she's a few months older than me.She also has a boyfriend.But I have iked her for three years now!She is in my class because we are both in collage-prep and it's sixth and fifth grade.So please tell me what you think I ...
A. 1 September 2007: Just tell her you like her, and leave it at that. Don't interfere with their relationship. IF you're meant to be with the girl, things will play their parts and she'll end up single. (She will eventually anyways)
Best of luck, and take care.... (read in full...)
I went abroad for a month, came back and he had met someone new. What affected him? Was it because his dad was ill?
Q. The past 2 years I spent dating a guy I thought was the answer to all that I was looking for in a guy. From the moment we met, he swept me off of my feet. We loved being around each other and we went on fun trips as well as some of the best dates ...
A. 1 September 2007: First of all, I'd like to apologize, I'm sorry to hear you're having such rough times.
Now, on to Business. It seems to me that he let loneliness take control of him. When hard times hit, he found someone to be there with him, I don't think it... (read in full...)
What causes night terrors in adults and what can be done to prevent them?
Q. My boyfriend suffers terrible night terrors; he has violent dreams in which he is being tortured and can usually still feel the pain when he first wakes up. He gets so distressed even though he tries to put on a brave face. He's had them since he ...
A. 1 September 2007: Usually night terrors are caused by deep trauma in the person's life. Basically it's a person's mind haunting them with demons, or issues/problems from their past. Night Terrors are basically Nightmares of a higher level. There's no way to "prevent" ... (read in full...)
Myself and my husband to be have been trying for a baby for almost a year without any luck. My cycle has become erratic, has anyone got any suggestions please help!!!
Q. Myself and my husband to be have been trying for a baby for almost a year without any luck. My cycle has become erratic, has anyone got any suggestions please help!!!...
A. 1 September 2007: I think you, or your husband, preferably both should get fertility tests. This might be the reason for your difficulty. it's a possibility, so don't bet your money on it. Best thing would be to consult your doctor.
Best of luck, and take care.... (read in full...)
What should I do? How do I think, she won't even talk to me, I know that she needs space but I'm getting killed here...
Q. My name is Greg and I'm 21 next month, Well a little over a year ago I broke up with my first serious relationship, she totally smashed me in every way but I played the good guy card and ended up hurting myself in the end and I broke it off. A...
A. 1 September 2007: Unfortunately, there's not a whole lot you can do. that's a rather difficult situation you're in.
Best thing would to be keep contact with her family, if you care about them that much. Not constant contact, because that could drag up very unnecess... (read in full...)
Is it true the longer you wait to have sex the harder it gets ??
Q. Hey I am 16 and I am still a virgin I feel worried that I will never find anyone to have sex with because all my friends have boyfriends and are having sex and saying how good it is. I am afraid that the longer I wait the harder it will get. Is it ...
A. 1 September 2007: No. In fact, the longer you wait the easier it gets. Not only on you physically, but mentally and emotionally also. Sex is a very emotional (and obviously physical) activity.
Either way, it's best to wait for someone you're sure you'll love, an... (read in full...)
How can I break it off with her after all this time?
Q. I want to quit my present relationship because there's no communication, she does not call. I'm tired of it and not happy most times when I flash back. How do I break this relationship of 1 year and 7 months?...
A. 1 September 2007: Best way is to come clean, tell her why it's being ended, and that you're unhappy in the relationship. Be considerate of her feelings, and politely tell her this. No matter what the situation, she'll most likely feel like her self-value has dropped ... (read in full...)
He left me and our 3 children twice, for someone else, but now says he wants us back. AGAIN. What should I do?
Q. Hi I had three children with my partner of 9 years. He left me during my second pregnancy but I gave him a second chance and we got back together. He then left me when I was 7 months pregnant with our 3rd child after having an affair with a (r...
A. 1 September 2007: First of all, I'd like to say I'm sorry to hear about the predicament that you're in.
Second; like Frank stated, he does not deserve a chance, hell, I hardly feel that he deserves visitation rights, but what can you do there, eh?
Reject him. H... (read in full...)
We split 10 weeks ago now and we managed to stay friends but suddenly she has backed off. Why would she be avoiding me now?
Q. My ex broke up with me about 10.5 weeks ago now. I've been going out on dates, getting attention from other chicks, and feeling better as of late. It's been 3 weeks since I last talked to her, which is the longest stretch since we've met. I dec...
A. 31 August 2007: It could be possible that she is NOT avoiding you, so please keep that in mind if you decide to react.
Also, if she is avoiding you, it could mean that she's moved on in her personal life, and her new partner is not comfortable with her keeping ... (read in full...)
I love him sooo much but he doesn't seem to show that he cares for me. What should I do?
Q. i love my fiance very much. il`s already one year that we are engaged. but from then we are facing loads of difficulty. i love him very very very much. but he does shows his love to me. his parents and family takes all the places in his life. he ...
A. 31 August 2007: Aye, I see where you're coming from. Me and my girlfriend had a similar problem.
I treasure my family, there's only 2 things in this world that are important to me, my loved ones, and my career (Musician)
The best way to convey your love is cal... (read in full...)
Is there too much damage between us for things to be how they used to?
Q. Hi, i need some help. I lost a baby after 15 weeks about 4 months ago, but had to go in to hospital because the baby had been dead for 3 weeks. ever since this has happened me and my fiance havent been the same since. We don't talk anymore and i fi...
A. 31 August 2007: As far as I can see, nothing's damaged. It just seems you're both in shock/pain over losing the child. Was he happy to keep it? If so, he might just be sad that he lost his child.
Talk to him, ask him why he doesn't talk to you.
As for the ra... (read in full...)
What's the best way to calm her down when she gets so angry?
Q. My girlfriend and I have now been together for almost 6 years. But recently, we fight over really stupid things. Of course, I try to stay calm, and deal with it calmly, and she of course turns into a giant ball of mixed emotions. I love her with all ...
A. 31 August 2007: Thank you very much for all of yours answers, they're greatly appreciated, i'll take all of your advice into consideration, and give things a shot. :)... (read in full...)
Is it too young for a sixteen year old and a twenty year old to hook up and start dating?
Q. Is it too young for a sixteen year old and a twenty year old to hook up and start dating? Its only four years. Just look at my parents they're six years apart and they love each other and my friend's parents are fifteen years apart. But when young ...
A. 31 August 2007: Don't forget by engaging in any sexual act with anyone under the age of 18 (16 in some states) that it is a federal offense and can get you locked up for statutory rape. I think the general rule is if the person is three years, or more younger, or... (read in full...)
The condom kept splitting, I'm not worried, I've got no symptoms. But what do you think?
Q. Ok well me and my boyfriend have been going out for a while and frequently have sex. The condom always seems to split and we're going to go to the Doctors soon so I can get put on the pill. Because the condoms have been breaking we got worried s...
A. 31 August 2007: TRy using a larger size condom, or maybe a thicker condom. Also, follow the forementioned advice.... (read in full...)
Still living with my ex and want to move on, but my new boyfriend hasnt suggested we live together
Q. Hello beautiful people, please help me to see the truth, here is my problem…… I am divorced for one year but still living with my husband. We have been unhappily married for 3 years. It’s a camaraderie relationship with no other feelings involve...
A. 31 August 2007: I think the best idea is to first, be completely honest with him. Tell him you've lied, and you're currently still living with your ex; of course be sure to reassure him that it is COMPLETELY on a non-sexual/intimate basis, and you're living ... (read in full...)
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