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... Send *ionee' a private message | | | *ionee''s profile:I'm a very enthusiastic and fun loving woman and I just simply love helping others. I am from the sunny city of Durban, South Africa.
I'm currently single and focusing on other aspects of my life such as work and studying. I love to write in my spare time, draw, sing and create content. I'm a very open minded person who likes making new friends and meeting new people.
I always aim to give the most honest advice that I can.
Anyone is welcome to mail me for private one on one advice.
May you all be blessed in your endeavours. |
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| Latest articles: It doesn't have to be complicated
No replies yet... 7 August 2013: I've been the agony aunt among the people I've known for a while. Those much older than me come to me. What would I know right? Thing is, I've always learned from the mistakes of others and gather What-Not-To-Do from that. Ever heard "A fo...
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Can this relationship be saved?
Q. This page has been so helpful to me before so thought id ask again. Do you think this relationship is salvageable? We started off as friends, friends for 2 years, then got together. Bexause we had been friends we knew so much about each other al...
A. 29 July 2014: You know what you guys mistake was?: Getting family and friends involved and up to speed with every step of the relationship. You must never tell parents and friends of all your problems in your relationships because obviously, them knowing you ... (read in full...)
Any advice for opening up to my fiancé's family?
Q. I'm having a hard time connecting with my fiancé's family. They are really nice people, an I know that it can take me a long time to warm up to people and I think they are aware of that about me, but him and I have been together for 3 years and I ...
A. 29 July 2014: You're over thinking everything and it's causing you to panic. Just relax. Perhaps spending more time with them will be good. Try to let loose and be yourself because when you over think you prevent yourself from being yourself because you're always ... (read in full...)
This guy is making me mad!
Q. Hey friends please help me in understanding whats this going on in my life n what is this guy actually upto am a college girl one of my classmate behaves in a very weird manner with me Its been two years and we are just friends He reads all ...
A. 29 July 2014: His behavior is odd and immature if I'm being honest. All you should do is don't pay him much mind. Don't show him that you care either. You shouldn't worry about what he does or doesn't do. He seems a bit ridiculous in the way that he carries on. ... (read in full...)
How do I reassure him that I'm here for him but not trying to make him get back together? He broke up with me out of the blue so that's why I'm here this week!
Q. Me and my 1.5 year bf just broke up last week. It came out of the blue. We were in a long distance for about 9 months. We always texted each other and try to make skype call everyday. About 2 months ago I suggested him that he should move back...
A. 29 July 2014: I think that you shouldn't continue to pester him for answers as he may feel smothered. You should give him the space that he needs because as you've said, he would like to travel his life away which is his dream, as odd as it may seem being a ... (read in full...)
I'm the lonliest guy in the world ...
Q. Hello everybody, I am a 17 year old guy who is extremely lonely. I am 6'5" tall and I'm not bad looking. I just graduated high school, I have friends, I have family, but I've never had a girlfriend, and I am pretty much the lonliest guy in the w...
A. 29 July 2014: Maybe what you need is something like a best friend. Someone who you're very close with because even people in relationships can feel very lonely. If it's all about you feeling lonely because you have no girlfriend then that is the problem here. The ... (read in full...)
Mother-in-law's name for the baby's middle name?
Q. Background: SO and I have been together almost a decade. We are married and expecting a baby (our first) in 4 months. A few questions: Would you be okay with giving your baby MIL's name as their middle name IF... ...your MIL has in th...
A. 29 July 2014: I don't know if I'd want to name my child after a person who goes behind my back saying horrible things about me and my child. I just wouldn't. How can you tell your SO that you don't want MIL's name as your child's second name? Sit SO down and tell ... (read in full...)
The families' demands are ruining my wedding experience
Q. I need some advice on whether we should allow our families to take control of our upcoming wedding or just tell them that everything they want is far from what we want. We have been together for five years and we have a three year old. We have bee...
A. 28 July 2014: Stand your ground. It your special day, YOURS! So do with it what will make you happy and if people are upset that they didn't get their way and don't want to attend, then so be it. It's a day that belongs to the two of you getting married. It's a ... (read in full...)
My B/f's having a relationship with another girl who I was led to believe was his ex, I snooped though his texts and guess what I found?
Q. Hey all so I've been dating this guy going on 3 months we started dating while he was in another relationship. The relationship was serious he and the girl he was with had been together a year and 3 months and they lived together. Any way I was so...
A. 28 July 2014: This "relationship" to him never really was all that great and he is ready for it to be over. You can't keep him from going back to her! He's going to do it regardless of what you say or do. Even if you get down on your knees and beg (DO NOT DO ... (read in full...)
My grandparents play favorites and I'm fed up!
Q. This is very long. It's getting harder for me to hold in my feelings. My family have always had problems. My grandparents always like to play favorites with their grand kids. There were three of us and they treated Emily much better. Babysitting, ...
A. 28 July 2014: Honestly, no matter how common this problem is, it's still so wrong. The whole Thanksgiving thing coming up is horrible. I mean, as children my sister and I were excluded from things (family functions, church stuff with other kids, etc) and it does ... (read in full...)
I really want her to feel appreciated and loved.
Q. Ok. So my girlfriend went to stay with her best friend last week. They have been close for 5 years and it turns out last week he told ger that he was in love with her. We have been together for 7 years and when she came back there was a huge...
A. 28 July 2014: She seems very confused and so although the thought of letting go straight away frightens her, she's taking time to think things through and also so that the distance will make you appreciate her, or so she thinks. I really doubt that the distance ... (read in full...)
He was sexting and then had an affair, I cant decide whether to forgive and work on it, or leave!
Q. I recently asked for help over my partner sexting another woman and I have now spoken to her and she was very willing to tell me that they had know each other for about a year and that they were only friends and although she wanted more, he said ...
A. 27 July 2014: If it was me in your shoes, I'd dump him because that type of stuff for me is a no-no. However, you have a cheating past of your own so I guess it would be hypocritical of you if you didn't take him back. Now I'm not saying you should, I'm just ... (read in full...)
I want to catch this guy's attention!
Q. This good looking guy moved into my building about a month ago. A couple of weeks back, we arrived at home at the same time. We park diagonally across from each other. He was ahead of me by about 10 meters, but turned to look behind him. He n...
A. 27 July 2014: Yeah he doesn't seem interested. I mean even dudes with girlfriends or a wife acknowledge other females (as scum as it may be). The elevator thing seems like common sense unless that person is really horrible, its a normal thing that's done. He ... (read in full...)
We found out our close friends gave us a recycled gift as our wedding gift! Would you mention that you know to them?
Q. Hi everyone. I'm really annoyed about something and I can appreciate there are more important things to worry about but I do feel I've been taken for a fool. My fiance and I got married 2 months ago and because we already live together...
A. 27 July 2014: I agree that you will make an ongoing issue of this so if it was me in your situation I'd just let it go because what good will come of it anyway? It will just mean embarrassment on their parts and perhaps a small petty argument here and there. If ... (read in full...)
Teenager looking for advice on talking to guys?
Q. Hello, I'm a 17 year old girl and I'm looking for advice on talking to guys. I've always stayed in a small group of girls through school life as that's the kind of group I feel comfortable socialising with. I'd really like to push myself to talk t...
A. 26 July 2014: Just relax. You should spend more time around guys even if just cousins just to get used to it. The more you get used to it, the easier it will be to talk to guys. Start off by making yourself to see guys as friends. Just friends. Talk to them as ... (read in full...)
Am I over-reacting to what I discovered about my Bf's Hooters visit?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for 6 months. Recently, he went to Hooters with his friends and at first, I was pretty annoyedd but then I got over it until I found videos in his history of Hooters girls. Am I overreacting because I feel lik...
A. 26 July 2014: I think that you're quite insecure and need to work on that for and within yourself. It's not that big of a deal what he done really. The issue here is that you're insecure and you're projecting that onto your bf and the relationship. It's not ... (read in full...)
Found the girl of my dreams. Am I being too clingy?
Q. So I've found the girl of my dreams she makes me a better person and I have never felt this way about anyone before. The problem is I'm afraid I'm being too clingy as of recently we haven't seen each other as much as we did, due to work. we hav...
A. 26 July 2014: I think you're being a little intense especially since its been a few months. There's nothing wrong with expressing your feelings however, don't over-do it. It IS sweet and she IS flattered and maybe does feel the same way. Don't bombard her with ... (read in full...)
Have no intention of replicating my taboo fantasies in real life. But is one of my fantasies too taboo to share with my Bf? What counselling could help me?
Q. To put it simply, I have a really bad kink that involves getting off on taboo fantasies. I've fantasized about strange things most other women don't such as picturing my boyfriend with another woman, and I have read incest erotica online, but NONE...
A. 26 July 2014: By no means should you tell him. Take this fantasy to the grave. I mean it. Don't tell him. Sometimes it's best to keep certain things to yourself you know? As you've said, it's one of your fantasies and just because you fantasize, it does not mean ... (read in full...)
If this marriage was so important to her, then why didn't she stop contacting her ex?
Q. I got married a few months ago, it was a rushed wedding, after barely knowing each other we married because she told me to get married because I was having trouble with my immigration status and it would give me a green card and working visa ...
A. 26 July 2014: Let me make this very clear: she does not love you, she does not take your marriage seriously, she just wants to milk you of all that you can do for her (which she's been doing well so far, i mean, paid for rent, food and holidays? That's a dream!) ... (read in full...)
He left me, I moved on, now he wants me back!
Q. Hi aunts and uncles Here's my problem...my partner broke up with me six weeks ago after three years. I was upset but the spark in our relationship had disappeared long ago and so I was happy to move out. I missed him for a couple of weeks...
A. 26 July 2014: Stay far away from him. He called you up telling you all types of garbage then later asks you to get back with him? No way! I think he is just jealous and possessive. He doesn't want anyone else to have you and he doesn't want to see you happy with ... (read in full...)
He had a girlfriend but I let him take my virginity ....
Q. I met this guy almost a year ago, we became friends and started talking a bit. I started liking him but found out that he has a girlfriend so in my head I kind of labeled him as well just a friend even though I liked him. One day I dont even rem...
A. 26 July 2014: I don't understand your confusion or why you need help with this situation because to be honest, this guy is using you and you're letting him. He had a girlfriend, which you knew of and he offered to take your virginity, which you let him- no ... (read in full...)
Should I have sex to keep my boyfriend?
Q. I have been going out with my boyfriend for 5 years now, (I am -9) and I love him to pieces. We sleep over at each other's all the time and it's all been perfectly fine. Then one night we were at his and he said "my parents wont be home until ...
A. 16 July 2014: You know what aunts, OP being old enough as a lot of you have pointed out, shouldn't be reason enough to have sex! If OP isn't ready then she isn't. That's that. Forcing someone to have sex because they're old enough is simply disgusting to me. Yeah ... (read in full...)
He knew religion was important to me, but now he says he won't convert
Q. Hi, My boyfriend and I have known each other for a year and have been dating for about 6 months. We absolutely love each other and we have a very strong relationship. I am Muslim and he is Christian. We used to be close friends before we started ...
A. 23 June 2014: I don't know, I just think its a bit much asking someone to convert and then almost just expecting it to happen. Let's think about if the roles were reversed . . . You would need a lot of time before actually making the decision. It's a life chang... (read in full...)
He is pressuring me for anal sex and he is out of my league anyway......
Q. I have just turned eighteen years old and I have been with my boyfriend for about six months. Recently he's been pressuring me to have anal sex with him. He goes on and on about it even though I've said no several times. He doesn't respect my ...
A. 22 June 2014: Listen . . . You don't owe him anything. You've said no and he clearly can't respect that so what I say what you should do is break up with this guy! You deserve better than someone who doesn't respect your decision when you say no.
If he wants anal... (read in full...)
My boyfriend makes fun of me, my family and my culture in front of others!
Q. My boyfriend and I have been officially together for about 2 years now, but it seems as if we have been for 4 years when we first met. I am muslim and he is not inclined towards any one religion. I finally met his family in FL. We stayed at his ...
A. 21 June 2014: No no no. He is plain down rude, disrespectful and inconsiderate of your feelings towards the things he says.
Who would even think to put down an entire religion, culture and place that his girlfriend is from and not stop even after she asked hi... (read in full...)
The new guy that I can't trust, or the old guy who hit me?
Q. i had a bf whose name was Rahul of 4.5 years with whom i was sexually involved.he used to love me a lot but we broke up because he had hit me physically four times and used to abuse a lot.then i found a new guy whose name is Ajay,he is very caring ...
A. 14 June 2014: OP why do you even want to wait for him to do it again before you move on?
It seems quite clear that regardless of all the good advice you received here, you're still going to go ahead with what it is you want to do. If you get hurt, remember its ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend and my best friend live at each others' houses in my absence! What's going on?
Q. So, I have been with my girlfriend for almost 2 years and she is the love of my life, I can't picture my life without her. but recently she has been hanging around with my best friend alot, I recently found out that (after we had a huge argument) ...
A. 12 June 2014: Ok honestly, yes there is something terribly wrong. You know that. We know that. We don't have to be flies on the wall of your so called 'best friend's' house to see it.
As others have already mentioned, just leave them both alone. Cut them out... (read in full...)
The new guy that I can't trust, or the old guy who hit me?
Q. i had a bf whose name was Rahul of 4.5 years with whom i was sexually involved.he used to love me a lot but we broke up because he had hit me physically four times and used to abuse a lot.then i found a new guy whose name is Ajay,he is very caring ...
A. 12 June 2014: I think in reality you have 3 choices:
1. The old guy
2. The new guy
3. Neither
I think you should go with neither. Focus on yourself first before getting into another toxic relationship.
... (read in full...)
I found out he has another girlfriend but he wont admit it!
Q. Me an my boyfriend have been toghter 16mnts an I recently found out he's been seeing another women.Although he still tries to hide her she makes herself well known around da neighborhood DAT they are toghter my problem is he will not admitt it an ...
A. 29 May 2014: What are you confused about? You're ready to throw in the towel? Lol sorry but i find this a bit much. Please have some self respect and leave. Don't get ready to throw in the towel, throw the damn thing already! There's no confusion here because ... (read in full...)
Scared of a Relationship.
Q. Hi. So I'm having a little trouble. I will use fake names to distinguish the different people. There's this girl (we'll call her Angie) I dated her twice. first time she broke up with me because I was her first boyfriend. The second time I bro...
A. 25 May 2014: Communicate your feelings. It is something you will get over eventually. I don't think you're scared of relationships on a whole, i think you're scared of the relationships you had with angie and beth. The thought of getting back with either of them ... (read in full...)
No strings attached sex with coworker - could this progress into more?
Q. Dear agony aunts, I need to understand how men's mind work... There's this guy at work I go out with sometimes. We both made it clear that we don't want to be in a relationship and that "it's just sex, no strings attached". I know mys...
A. 25 May 2014: No, the fact that you're here shows that you're already falling for him if you want to know what the odds are. I say break off the FWB thing that you guys have going on so you don't get hurt. If he comes running back wanting a relationship with you ... (read in full...)
What does it mean?
Q. What does it mean when a guy does these things? What does it mean? So my boyfriend of 9 months (we didn't have sex) started acting distant and irritated with me and I couldn't stop hurting:( He'd ignore me for days when we argue and get ...
A. 17 May 2014: Honestly, he was tired of you. Plain down. He sent you that video because you said you'd replace him so he was being mean by sending it as if to say "i hope your new man you said you'd replace me with atleast gets some". Yeah it was mean, blah blah ... (read in full...)
My husband keeps gaining weight and I find it so unattractive!
Q. I'm married to a veteran. We moved to Asia after he got out of the army. He used to look very muscular during his serving time but now after going back to the civil world, he started gaining lots of weight. I know he loves eating and drinking pop ...
A. 17 May 2014: Your husband doesn't like the issue of you wanting more tattoos and you don't like his weight gain. The army keeps you very fit. i went to a one week camp where i suffered military training. All my extra skin turned to stiff muscle but i must say ... (read in full...)
I don't know how to cope with these feelings of being too small!
Q. I need to know who feels the same and how to get rid of these feelings. I feel below women who are more attractive than me (pornstars, glamour models) I feel like they have more power over men, it hurts me. I feel small. I want a boob job. I'm ...
A. 17 May 2014: Coming from someone who knows what you're feeling i'm going to give you my honest advice and opinion. A B cup is perfect in my eyes, i'm an A. I discovered that you will only feel as terrible as you allow the world to make you feel. Let's face it, ... (read in full...)
You shouldn't hide anything in a relationship, right?
Q. Hey everyone, Me and my boyfriend been dating for like 2 weeks I know it's still short but he thinks it's disrespectful to look through his phone... I don't have a problem with him going through my phone but he claims he doesn't go through my messa...
A. 5 April 2014: No, i think its disrespectful. I don't like when someone goes through my phone, anyone at all. Its not that i've got anything to hide, i just like my privacy. Two weeks is just the beginning, going through his phone is a bit much when you guys have ... (read in full...)
My parents are not as excited as I am. Their reaction has dampened my sense of achievement. Are Internships in Italy easy to get?
Q. Are internships easy to get? I applied for one in Italy and a few days after having the interview I got a call saying I've got it. However, my parents and a few my friends weren't as excited about it as I was, they just simply said it's great ...
A. 3 April 2014: Maybe everyone doesn't want you to leave or perhaps it is an issue of jealousy when it comes to your friends (as anonymous pointed out), we don't know for sure but all i know is they should have been happy for you regardless of how they feel within ... (read in full...)
I shouldn't have asked to see pictures of my boyfriend's ex
Q. Why am I so angry at him? Is not his fault is it? So I asked my boyfriend about his ex and he told me everything about her and he asked if I wanted to see a picture of her and I said yeah sure but I bet she's not prettier than me and he said...
A. 2 January 2014: There is always someone 'better' than or 'uglier' than you on this planet. Fact is the person you're with has a past with different types of women. Its odd that you'd think of people as 'uglier' or 'better' than you. You're causing problems within ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend will not take down sports illustrated calendar that his mom bought him!
Q. This question is really weighing me down. This Christmas, my boyfriend of about a years mother bought him a sports illustrated swimsuit calendar. Now, before you roll your eyes and dub me insecure, know that my irritation and issue with this has ...
A. 31 December 2013: I find the whole situation petty. Its a calendar! You can watch PORN WITH HIM (naked women and naked men) but can't stand him having a (swimsuit) calendar in his room?!? Whaaaat?
These are just one of those things you don't dwell on 'cause ther... (read in full...)
How do I convince my girlfriend to have an abortion?
Q. Hello All, Need your help urgently on a matter. I am 28 and my gf is 31 and we have a relationship of 3 years that is not approved by either her family or mine as we have different religions. All through 2013 we have been having problems ...
A. 30 December 2013: Either stay with her and take care of your family or leave and take your time waiting to be ready but don't force her to have an abortion. No is no so leave it at that... (read in full...)
How can I get my parents to allow me to close the door to my room when my boyfriend comes visiting? We need our privacy!!
Q. Hi all, I have been with my bf for a few months and recently I invited my bf to meet my parents. What irks me is that I am not allowed to close the door when I am alone with him in my room. We don't always on the airconditioner but sometimes we do. ...
A. 24 November 2013: Well, your parents won't budge. You're at least allowed to have your boyfriend in your room! I have to sit in the lounge with the entire family not that i'm complaining, it's actually nice but yeah that's how it is. If i want privacy i go outside, ... (read in full...)
Is 6 guys alot for a girl to sleep with?
Q. I need some advise, please be honest and tell me what you think and what you would do in this situation. I recently found out my fiancé of almost 6 years had been with 6 guys before me( she was my first- she's 3 years older than me I was 22 when we ...
A. 10 November 2013: You cannot start to complain now. You have two kids with her. If you wanted to leave you should've done it before then or been more careful by taking measures to ensure that pregnancy won't occur. Unless you wanna be just another guy that has walked ... (read in full...)
He wants lust, I want love.
Q. I'm a 17 year old girl, when I was 16 I met this guy. He was 19. I met him on a social networking site called "tagged" we talked for a bit and really got to know each other, he use to live in the town that I lived in and I use to live in the town ...
A. 6 October 2013: He is plain down using you. He isn't even trying to hide it because he knows he doesn't have to hide it as you'll end up in his bed again eventually. He knows that you're gullible, naive and emotionally attached so he'll get what he wants. You're ... (read in full...)
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