| A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes: I am obsessed w/this guy who I am 99.9% sure doesn't even know I exist. He is about a 2 years or so older than me and we currently do not go to the same college but we will next year. This obsession all started when I came across his instagram page, I seen his face and I was like oh I think I met him before, so I was looking through his pics and I was like he is kinda attractive, so I followed him. From that day forth I started looking at his page and developed what I thought was just a crush but I would later realize was an obsession. I have some friends that used to go to school with him, so I asked one of them about him and he told me they were close, and he's a nice guy and etc. which only made me like him more. I forgot to mention he is a football player at the current college he goes too, he's an amazing player so he always does interviews and I always watch them and find myself more infatuated with him. I don't know why I feel like I have met him in another life or something and that we are supposed to be together. Im not sure if I like him/his looks/or the idea of being with him, all I know is that I'm attached. I realized when I was younger I have a problem with getting attached to ppl easily, I never get over the person I just find a new person to obsess over. I have talked to my mom and siblings even my counselor but I don't tell them everything bc I feel crazy, they tell me it'll go away its just a crush but I know its not, I need help but I feel crazy like im the only one who does this. I check his social media sites everyday to see if he posts anything new, I go through his likes, favs, everything I go to his friends page to see if they post any other pics with or of him, and I also feel myself getting very jealous if he talks to another girl or likes her picture. I really need help, how do I let this obsession go? I feel like I have just gone through the worst heartbreak of all time by realizing we will never be together. If you take the time to read this thanks, I just really need advice, I don't know what to do, plz don't be mean lol.
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female
reader, Dear Mandy  +, writes (20 October 2021):
 Hi
Firstly you really need to be open and honest with your councillor, they can’t help you correctly if they don’t know what your going through. You have an unhealthy obsession with this boy which you are already aware of. All the will do is make you very insecure and depressed . You could start by deleting and blocking him on any social media, it will be hard at first, but you need to find another healthy outlet. Go for a run , or the gym. You also mentioned you never get over other relationships you just move on to the next. Again this is unhealthy for you, you need to talk with your councillor about this , and work out why you can’t let go and move forward. Was you traumatised by something or someone in your childhood? Did someone leave without giving a reason why? All these things could be a trigger for why your feeling the way you do now. You need to learn to love YOU, once you do that you will find a healthy relationship , and know how to deal with any problems that may arise. Obsession is not love , it will only cause you or others distress. Take time out for yourself , get yourself in a good place, then everything else will fall into place.
Hope this helps
Blessed be x
A
female
reader, Dear Mandy +, writes (20 October 2021):
Hi
Firstly you really need to be open and honest with your councillor, they can’t help you correctly if they don’t know what your going through. You have an unhealthy obsession with this boy which you are already aware of. All the will do is make you very insecure and depressed . You could start by deleting and blocking him on any social media, it will be hard at first, but you need to find another healthy outlet. Go for a run , or the gym. You also mentioned you never get over other relationships you just move on to the next. Again this is unhealthy for you, you need to talk with your councillor about this , and work out why you can’t let go and move forward. Was you traumatised by something or someone in your childhood? Did someone leave without giving a reason why? All these things could be a trigger for why your feeling the way you do now. You need to learn to love YOU, once you do that you will find a healthy relationship , and know how to deal with any problems that may arise. Obsession is not love , it will only cause you or others distress. Take time out for yourself , get yourself in a good place, then everything else will fall into place.
Hope this helps
Blessed be x
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