A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Will I ever get my best mate back!!?? Hes been going out with someone, his first serious relationship since his actual first one was long distance and didn't last very long and hes never had much luck with girls.When this first started we all understood he wanted time with her so we never said anything, he used to promise he would come out but then wouldn't come out unless he could bring her out. And to be honest we don't want that, shes so annoying and none of us can stand her, but he doesn't know that, we get on with her for his sake.Every minute they aren't at work they;re together, they go everywhere together, practically live with each other. Sounds like loves young dream doesn't it.. Well thing thats confusing is, she is everything he once hated. He couldn;t stand people like her, and she was in no way his type. To me she also seems like the kind of girl who gets whatever she wants, hes already cut a friend out his life who happened to be a girl because if his gf. Worst bit is hes happy that way! Why? Seriously? Is it seriously insecurity? Will he ever grow out of it? I just don't know.Will this ever end? By end I mean them being so clingy to each other. Its nice to have time with your friends without partners, she gets that whenever hes at work at night.. Will they even last.I thought to myself, give it 6 months, it'll phase out, once she starts going out drinking (shes only just turned 18 and he's 22) he'll want time with his friends but nope. Every weekend he gets off hes with her, and we only get to see them together. Can't even have a lads night anymore. Im someone who doesn't believe in ditching pals for girlfriends so im struggling to not say anything. But 11 months on.. Its worse now than it was back then!!Shes everything he once would never go near, hes also changed n becoming like her in the sense of her foul atttitude.. I really am loosing my best friend and I've known him an extremely long time. We all miss him, I know this is a normal reaction to a relationship but surely it should be phasing out now, I honestlyu don;t know anyone else thats like this. I'd say it was the perfect couple if they were actually anything TRUELY alike. obviously they are now because he changed, he doesn't even have his own life anymore. Will he always be this happy? Will he get sick of her and come back? Im dreading your answers but please be as honest as you can.
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female
reader, llifton  +, writes (21 June 2013):
 well if they've been together for 11 months and still spending all this time together, it doesn't sound like she's someone he would never go for. maybe he thought he'd never go for a girl like her until he actually met her. sounds like he truly loves her.
if i were you, i'd tell your friend how you feel. let him know you need some time with just him. nothing personal to his girl, but you just want guy time occasionally. certainly he'll understand that.
i know it sucks losing your best pal to a girl, but honestly, that's just kinda what happens when people grow up sometimes. people get married and stop going out and spend the majority of their time with their partner. of course, they should always make time for their friends, though.
i would just tell him how you feel. it's your best bet. and then the ball will be in his court after that. hopefully he will listen and take it to heart and spend more time with you.
A
female
reader, Dear Mandy +, writes (21 June 2013):
 HI
Tricky one!
Well you can't say she's not his type as people change, he obviously finds something right about her. However it sounds more like obsession than love. Your his long time friend and you should feel comfortable in telling him how you feel about your loss of friendship. I would NOT mention anything about his girlfriend or how you feel towards her as this will just push him even closer to her ( if that's even possible) If you can't get him alone whilst his not at work then why not meet up for a lunch break , this way she won't be about . It WILL eventually calm down and get more routine, and he will probably want to start seeing you all again, so just try to persevere a little longer.
Mandy
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