A
female
age
51-59,
*all22
writes:Because What would a man his age want with a woman like this? Ok well my Ex and I we are split up for about 5 months . We still tells me about his life , and for the past 3 months he is constantly talking about his friend he met for the first time after a year and a half online . He is 42 and she is 19 and he KEEPS flirting with her . He said they would just keep friends but things are beginning to change the more she hangs out with our circle of friends. This girl is clumsy , small pale as a ghost freckled and far from rich . HOWEVER he says he likes her personality because he sees her as an optimistic person . We are CLOSE friends and He asks me for advice constantly and when i mention the age gap he seems to not care? All they seem to do is laugh and joke with eachother , and are very ignorant at friend gatherings because our friends begin looking oddly at them when they are laughing hysterically and we are lost at what is so humorous it drives me crazy ! . I can't see what is the attraction in them why would a man his age be interested in someone as young and as i don't know crazy as her? She shows no class just constantly laughs and jokes which i don't get . And he goes to discos/clubs with her dancing things he wouldn't dare do a year ago as it wasn't his thing ! What is up with my Ex ? Do you think he may be having a mid life crisis ? Should i tell him to stay away incase it is and this isn't love ? Because he is 42 nearly 43 and she is 19 ! There is a 23 almost 24 year age gap and i can't see why any man would be interested in her because she acts like a fool . And don't tell me to not give advice because I WANT to .
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flirt, my ex, split up Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, oldbag +, writes (12 August 2012):
 HiIt doesn't matter what it is does it, she sounds great company to me, nothing like somebody you can relax and have a laugh with! Most people I know would enjoy her company.He may be having a crisis but thats up to him,its his life his mistake, if it is one, so if you really do feel the need to advise him dont come across like his Mum or a jealous Ex. Do it in a lighthearted way,,maybe ask him if hes getting a motorbike and a hair transplant next.
A
female
reader, oldbag +, writes (12 August 2012):
HiIt doesn't matter what it is does it, she sounds great company to me, nothing like somebody you can relax and have a laugh with! Most people I know would enjoy her company.He may be having a crisis but thats up to him,its his life his mistake, if it is one, so if you really do feel the need to advise him dont come across like his Mum or a jealous Ex. Do it in a lighthearted way, maybe ask him if hes getting a motorbike and a hair transplant next.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 August 2012): A mid-life crisis is what people call it when a man finally decides to life for himself for a while. Women do it too.
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A
female
reader, Sweet-thing +, writes (9 August 2012):
 Mid-life crisis yes very much. Some men hook up with younger women because it keeps them from feeling old. Suddenly they are seeing life through a much younger person which gives them some fresh perspective on things. Plus it's a huge ego boost to be able to say, he has a 19 year old girlfriend. Never mind that the relationship will eventually fall flat when he gets tired of giggling like a school girl he's just riding the wave right now and he's not thinking about how old he is or how ridiculous he may look. He is in a sense, running from death and what better way to do so, than to hang out with someone half your age.
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A
female
reader, maverick494  +, writes (8 August 2012):
I understand your POV, OP. But in the end if he wants her and she wants him, there's nothing you can do about it.
If it were me in your situation I'd tell him that if he's to go ahead with this, to be careful with her and not use her, as she could be his daughter age wise. I was on the receiving end of such attention 4 years ago (I was 20, he was mid forties) and I was pretty naive back then compared to him. He used that against me and luckily I ended up seeing through that before we really got involved.
As for why he's doing it, that's obvious. It's a huge boost for his ego to have this young girl pining after him. She's at the age most women want to stay at looks wise. There's just something about youthful beauty. So for her to be interested in an 'old' guy like him is a big compliment. Try not to be resentful. It may be a midlife crisis. It may be nostalgia. In the end it's his life. Personally I also think 20 year age gaps at that age are too much, but that's just my opinion.
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A
female
reader, DanceInTheDark  +, writes (8 August 2012):
 Because she's youthful, and men are generally attracted to that?
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (8 August 2012):
 Lots of guys would like to have a fling with a hottie who's about the age of his daughter (or granddaughter).
There's no requirement that our desire for that fling comes from anything other than the limbic portion of our brain (the part that controls our peenies!!!!!)....
Let him "run" and get it out of his system.... BUT, don't put your life on "Hold" whilest he does it....
IF'n he comes back with his tail between his legs (as he will... believe me)... AND, if you haven't found a FAR BETTER partner, in the meantime (not much of a challenge!),
THEN you can take control and say, "OK, As*ho*e, now that you've had your little foray... and IF you now know what an a*S you've been.... and IF you think you're ready to act like an ADULT for a change... THEN, perhaps I'll give you ONE LAST SLIVER of a chance to woo me.... and DON'T F*CK IT UP, THIS TIME!!!!
Good luck....
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (8 August 2012):
 She sounds like a hoot, fun to be around with a great deal of spirit and life in her. Why wouldn't he want to spend time with her?
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A
female
reader, AuntyEm +, writes (8 August 2012):
 Sould you tell him to stay away?...No because it's really none of your business because he's your ex and he can do as he wishes.
If you cannot stand to see your ex date other women, it's probably a good idea to stop socializing with him :-)
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (8 August 2012):
 why does it have to be love?
he's enjoying himself (laughing is a key indicator of that)
and they are both legal adults.
I'm really glad my ex didn't feel the need to address my 30 something fiance since I'm 50 something.
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A
male
reader, Serpico +, writes (8 August 2012):
Long story short - its none of your business. On the other side of the coin, he shouldnt be telling you either.
All that said, my guess is he's trying to make you jealous. From your reaction, it looks like its working marvelously.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (8 August 2012):
 Ahhh it appears that green-eyed monster has reared it's ugly head. You can give all the "advice" you want but I'll bet it will fall on deaf ears. It may be love and it may not but he seems to be having fun.
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