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MY LDR girlfriend broke up with me over the stupidest reason!

Tagged as: Breaking up, Long distance<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (1 June 2012) 2 Answers - (Newest, 3 June 2012)
A male United States age 30-35, *hilipITM86 writes:

Hi im new here. Anyway so my Long distance girlfriend who lives in Chicago just broke up with me. We have been together a year and i truly thought she loved me. I would always go see her every month to two months. She lives in Chicago and i live in tampa Fl. Heres what happend. Last friday night she told me that she wasnt gonna be able to afford to fly down here to spend time with me since she just couldnt afford it. Thats fine and i got that but i was simply stating to her that i was looking forward to seeing her and spending time with her. I then said i was upset that she couldnt come and she got mad at me and hung up. Well i was upset at the situation that she couldnt come down here. She took it like i was upset at her. I tried explaining mysel;f to her visa txt since she txed me saying i was only thinking about myself and how her not coming directly affected me instead of realizing that she couldnt afford to come down. Again i tried telling her that i meant i was upset with the situation. She didnt wanna hear it. To be fair to her i was going on and on about how much i was looking forward to her coming down here. I shouldnt have done that since im sure it just added to her stress level. Heres the thing..She gets overly emotional when shes upset and acts like an immature 16 year old! Yet she is 28 years old. She shouldnt be overreacting like this. Its like im not allowed to say that i miss her and was looking forward to seeing her without her blowing up on me. To make matters worse she was doin this to me 2 months before i plan on moving to Chicago to be with her. I would understand her being like this to me if i was a complete jerk to her but i do nothing but treat like shes the most important person to me. I have always been good to her. I have always been there for her! Now she does have self esteem problems cause of her weight and the way her parents were to her. I didnt have the happiest of childhoods either but i certanly wouldnt push away the one person who is closest to me and then break up with them a week later after not talking to them for days and days! I tried giving her space after she started not talking to me last fri. I left her a voice mail on last sat night 5/26 and on mon night 5/28. I finally had enough of her ignoring me and communicating with me that left her a fb message saying how shes msaking me feel and how she is being unfair to me and our relashonship. I said people that are in relashonships and long distance ones especially communicate with eachother and talk out their problems when they have a dissagreement or arguement. Everybody i ask for advice tells me the same thing basdically..That i didnt do anything wrong other than keep on asking her about her coming down here. I know i shouldnt have done that. But for her to break up with me over a Big misunderstanding on her part is just wrong! I really thought this was gonna be the girl that i marry..i really did since we were together for a year now and we barely had any arguments. I mean me and her never had any major issues before last week. I dont know what to do. Heres another thing..she is a heavy set girl and she feels bad about her weight. And you know what..i never ever had a issue with her weight cause i always loved her for who she is on the inside! I would always tell her that shes beautiful and she is everything to me and that i love her for who she is on the inside! Now today i txted her asking if we could talk and she txted me back saying that it will do no good cause theres nothing to talk about since i just put her on guilt trips. Which is untrue.Like i said..i cant say that just miss my girlfriend and was looking forward to seeing her without her blowing up on me? I once again tried explaining myself and the situation but of course she didnt wanna hear any of it and she said she doesnt think things are gonna work out so theres nothing to talk about. Im in shock right now cause i really thought that she loved me. I mean i spent thousands of dollars to fly up to chicago every month in a half to two months to spend time with her. And this how she does me? She breaks up with me via txt message. Thats really messed up if you ask me. I thought she woulda had enough respect for me to actually talk to me on the phone and try to sort things out but no she had to overreact once again. Cause she has overreacted to thinhgs before but never like this. I just feel like my heart has been ripped out and that she doesnt care about me or how bad she has hurt me. Sorry for such a long post. I hate to ramble but it had to said in this length. What do you all think? Am i the bad guy here?

View related questions: broke up, immature, long distance, self esteem

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A male reader, PhilipITM86 United States +, writes (3 June 2012):

PhilipITM86 is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Im just gonna try to stay positive though. I mean it still says on fb that we are still in a relashonship. I know her. As soon as something is really pissing her off she takes to fb right away and says stuff to vent. Well she hasnt said anything negative about me. And lots of people i talk to says it sounds more like a she needs space and time to herself right now thing. I mean she is stressed out alot right now. Shes a retail store assist manager and thats a very stressful job and shs got a 250 dollar ticket and has to get her car fixed. So i kinda think its a stress thing. Im gonna give her some time. Cause you just dont end a year relashonship just like that over a misunderstanding. Im just gonna try to keep positive thoughts about this and stay strong.

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A female reader, DanceInTheDark Canada +, writes (1 June 2012):

DanceInTheDark agony auntWell like you said, going on and on about how you were looking forward to seeing her was pretty insensitive, other than that though, sounds like she's pretty insecure.

I think it's safe to say she was just looking for a reason to break up with you and didn't want to be with you anymore.

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