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What should I confess here? I am a quiet and shy introvert. You can piece together a bio by reading through my early posts. I'm a baby-boomer past the half-century mark, a gray-haired grandfather, so I guess "superannuated" is the most succinct term. My wife & I have been married (to each other!) for over 35 years, but she doesn't like to be called "my first wife". We have two adult children, plus one at university, and one who only lived about a day due to birth complications. We now live in St Louis, Missouri (roughly the center of North America) but grew up in Michigan and have lived in half a dozen different states.
I know how things look on BOTH sides of the hill. I have been 15 years old; I don't know many 15 year olds who have been 55. I have been with my own kids as they grew to be adults, and have been around many other parents (and kids) going through the same thing. (If I tend to sound like your parents, there's a reason. Most of us parents belong to the same union, so we have this "solidarity and brotherhood" thing among ourselves. Most teenagers view that as an Evil Conspiracy against the younger generation.)
I think that Forums such as this are generally helpful, since many factors pertaining to a question can be expressed in a short time. If I said something useful, or if I was way off base, I'd like to hear about it. |
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My boyfriend finds it hard to cum when his laying on his back, any suggestions?
Q. My boyfriend finds it hard to cum when his laying on his back. He gets the feeling but nothing happens, and he can just go on and on.. Can you suggest anything??...
A. 21 October 2010: I think the majority of people, both men and women, find it's more difficult to reach climax when they are on their backs, underneath a partner. For decades - maybe centuries, or even millenia - women have complained about sexual sessions that ... (read in full...)
Going on my first-ever date -- at 20! Tips appreciated.
Q. i need help! tomorrow i am going on my first date ever and i have no clue what to do! i am in some serious need of dating tips. for example, what are some topics i can bring up if things start to get awkward? What food should i eat? What should i ...
A. 20 October 2010: P.S. - It isn't exactly the same as your situation, but for a guy's perspective on the "first kiss" question, take a look at the thread "I wasn't her first kiss and I'm afraid I'll be compared to others!" at ... (read in full...)
We want to have fun but should I tell him I'm a virgin?
Q. heya, I've been chatting to an old friend recently and found out that we've had sexual feelings about each other for quite a while now. We've agreed that when he comes to visit me we'll have some fun. The only thing is I havn't told him I'm a virgin...
A. 20 October 2010: I agree with "bernard": you are doing this for the wrong reasons, and may experience disappointment or regret as a result. (And, when you DO meet your life-partner, it may bother HIM that you did this!)
For the record: You REALLY need to let h... (read in full...)
How Long was it Before you said 'I love you'?
Q. How long was it before your current partner said they loved you (or you them)? My current girlfriend told me within two weeks of dating each other. I did think at the time that it was a bit soon to tell me that but she said that she 'just knew'. I ...
A. 20 October 2010: Wow - that happened over 37 years ago! It was about a month to 6 weeks after I met my wife that I told her I loved her. I thought about it for a while before I actually said it. I don't recall when she reciprocated, but it wasn't too long after ... (read in full...)
13 and have questions about masturbating
Q. I am 13 and I occasionally masturbate. I just want to know, is it normal that I don't ejaculate when I reach orgasm, but it still feels really good? I don't know if I've hit puberty yet, my voice hasn't cracked. I mean, when I say I don't ejaculate, ...
A. 20 October 2010: First of all, it took a lot of courage to ask that question here. I respect and admire you for that! And, it sounds like you are somewhat knowledgeable about your body, how your sex organs work, etc. I don't know whether this is something that ... (read in full...)
I want to dedicate a song to a loved one! What song would you choose?
Q. Hi, I'm not sure if this is the right place for this....if you could dedicate a song or two (or even 3 lol) to someone..what would it be and why? For example "Luther Vandross - Dance with my Father" ...always reminds me of my dad....
A. 19 October 2010: Hey, "followtheblackrabbit", how old ARE you? You hit the two I'd dedicate to my wife, and at least of them for the same reason.
"Nights in White Satin" (Moody Blues) grabbed my attention when it was originally released, back when I was in High ... (read in full...)
I want to find an older woman who doesn't think I'm too young to have sex with her!
Q. I wish I could find an older woman who doesn't say I am too young to have sex with her. I am 21 by the way. I have been attracted to older woman. We go out on dates and do fun things. When the sex thing comes up they always say I am too young to ...
A. 19 October 2010: What do you mean by "older"? Mid-20's, or old enough to be your mother?
"CindyCares" has a good point: Are you looking for a one-time thing, mostly to try it out and say that you've done it, or do you have some other goals in mind?
Have yo... (read in full...)
Music to play during sex
Q. Hi. Does anybody know of some nice, relaxing music that we can dowload to play during sex? We do not like hop hop or modern techno.` ...
A. 19 October 2010: I'm pretty much in agreement with "SlimShady" on this one. A lot of songs, or other music, is OK for setting the mood and the preliminaries, but once the clothes are off I'd rather hear the sounds my partner is making.... (read in full...)
Going on my first-ever date -- at 20! Tips appreciated.
Q. i need help! tomorrow i am going on my first date ever and i have no clue what to do! i am in some serious need of dating tips. for example, what are some topics i can bring up if things start to get awkward? What food should i eat? What should i ...
A. 19 October 2010: Glad to hear it went well for you! That wasn't so hard, was it?
Now, the first kiss. And, I'll guess this is your FIRST, first kiss.
Well, do you WANT to be kissed? Or I should probably ask, "HOW do you want to be kissed?". It could be a pe... (read in full...)
How can I get my bachelor's degree?
Q. I was wondering if for example I went to a community college for 2 years, and then a university for 2, would I be able to get a bachelor's degree? I'm a junior in high school now, and I'm thinking maybe I shouldn't go to a 4 year school because I'm ...
A. 19 October 2010: The idea of starting in a community college, then completing a bachelor's degree at a 4-year school is valid, but it's not easy to make it happen as smoothly as you describe.
In general, there are often problems transferring credits from one... (read in full...)
What song would you dedicate to a loved one?? any ideas?
Q. Hi, I'm not sure if this is the right place for this....if you could dedicate a song or two (or even 3 lol) to someone..what would it be and why? For example "Luther Vandross - Dance with my Father" ...always reminds me of my dad. And " Lio...
A. 18 October 2010: Like "aunt honesty" said, if you have a particular person in mind then this is a personal thing you generally do for personal reasons. On the other hand, perhaps you are just curious about others' selections, and the reasons behind them.
I thi... (read in full...)
My wife is in ER and I can't get back to her!
Q. My wife is in the ER as I write this. I am thousands of miles away on business. She is 8 months pregnant and has been complaining of pain in between her shoulder blades, more to the right side. It has radiated to the front of her chest. Right below ...
A. 17 October 2010: This isn't the place to be asking medical questions. Your wife may be experiencing a side effect of her advanced pregnancy, or it could be something much more serious. You, and your wife, need to have confidence in the medical team working with ... (read in full...)
What constitutes actually losing your virginity?
Q. There are many questions posted about losing virginity on this board? But I want to know exactly what it means by losing virginity. (1)Penetration of the penis into the vagina, with the result that the woman's hymen is broken. For both the mal...
A. 16 October 2010: I basically have to go along with the penis-in-vagina criteria, for either gender. That definition probably works for about 99.9% of all people - and from there we can get nit-picky over subtle details.
Such as, "How far into the vagina?"... (read in full...)
Was losing your virginity as you expected it to be?
Q. Was losing your Virginity as you expected it to be and would you change your mind if you could go back?...
A. 15 October 2010: My wife and I exchanged virginity (she took mine, and I got hers in return) on our wedding night.
Physiologically I was rather disappointed and ashamed that I hurt her more than necessary. That was largely because I was too eager, we were bot... (read in full...)
Going on my first-ever date -- at 20! Tips appreciated.
Q. i need help! tomorrow i am going on my first date ever and i have no clue what to do! i am in some serious need of dating tips. for example, what are some topics i can bring up if things start to get awkward? What food should i eat? What should i ...
A. 14 October 2010: Yes, PLEASE come back and tell how it went. Not for the benefit of those who took the time to respond, but for others who face a similar problem. EVERYBODY worries about their first . . .
I haven't had very many first dates, and I'm certain ... (read in full...)
What was your best first date? I need ideas!
Q. what was the best first date you ever had? what made it so great and did you end up together? im just curious and looking for great date ideas!...
A. 14 October 2010: "Best" first date was pretty conventional (except for the first part:
- I had never met her in person. We were introduced by a (much older) mutual friend. We had been writing each other - sort of serious letters - for about 3 months.
- She wa... (read in full...)
Do guys stress about first dates?
Q. do guys get just as nervous as girls do on first dates? what are some of the worries they have? i always get stressed out before the first date and the guys always seem so nonchalant and calm. why is this?...
A. 13 October 2010: Well, I don't know exactly how nervous a girl gets before a first date - is there some kind of meter or gauge you can measure that with? But asking, "Do guys get very nervous on first dates?" is probably like asking, "Is the Pope Catholic?".
... (read in full...)
Buying online erectile dysfunction meds
Q. Does anyone have experience buying ED meds from online pharmacies without a prescription? I hear the ED drugs from India are safe and effective, but I also read that importation of generic ED drugs is illegal. There are some generic ED drugs that ...
A. 13 October 2010: It seems like every month or two I see some news story about a drug company that hid some test data, or quality control measurements, or outright fabricated results, or sold a drug for unapproved uses. And that's in the "closely regulated" ... (read in full...)
Virgin problem!
Q. Hey, I'm a girl, I'm 17 and 4 months and I'm still a virgin (worryingly). Is this really old? In the past when it's come to the stage of ''we're drunk, lets have sex'' i've always ran away from the scene. But now i don't know if i should hav...
A. 12 October 2010: This question, or something very similar, gets asked every few weeks around here. There's some interesting statistical information in the thread "What age do most people lose their virginity?" at ... (read in full...)
Anyone know about the US Coast Guard?
Q. I'm thinking of joining the US Coast Guard. But, I know the recruiters leave out a LOT when they take you on. I don't want to sign up for something with hidden "surprises." Please, can someone give me some honest feedback about this? Also, I'm ...
A. 11 October 2010: "SlimShady", thank you for your service.... (read in full...)
Essay for scholarship, can I write it in First Person?
Q. Hey! :) Alright this is pretty basic. I'm writing an essay for a scholarship that I'm applying to. I need to know is it okay to write it in First Person? The topic of the essay is basically What is your greatest hurdle in life and how did you ...
A. 10 October 2010: Since the question (as you reported it) was posed in the first person, I'd answer in the first person.
Pay attention to the answer from "HerLovelyWorld". If there are instructions, or if there is a paragraph introducing the actual topic, that mat... (read in full...)
Guys put off by a 24 year old virgin?
Q. Do guys feel put off if a girl is a virgin at 24? I'm pretty shy and lacking in confidence because of being mentally and physically (not sexually) abused when I was younger. I've never told anyone that I'm a virgin because I find it really embarr...
A. 10 October 2010: Rather than getting you down, being a virgin should remind you that you have the integrity to keep your personal standards and live up to your convictions.
Take a look at the question "Guys, would you be reluctant to marry a virgin?" at http://w... (read in full...)
Getting a boner just by kissing?
Q. heyy.. i was wondering, is it normal for a boy to get a boner just by kissing the girl? thanks...
A. 10 October 2010: At 18 - almost certainly, "YES!". In fact, just holding hands may give him a solid erection.
Please don't let him convince you that getting an erection like that "proves" he loves you, or that you have any kind of obligation to "relieve" him.... (read in full...)
What do men think when they see this?
Q. I've seen a lot of questions about breats but haven't bumped into something like this: what do you men think when you can see the shape of a womans nipple, like if she's cold and gets hard nipples, or maybe she's not wearing a brassier and u can ...
A. 9 October 2010: Andulikeittoo said:
"Not in a trashy way, like a girl wearing normal clothes walking around... But the nipples are visible but not on purpose."
I presume you mean the outline of the nipple making a bump through the clothing - not the bare nip... (read in full...)
I need help to know if I'm ready for sex!
Q. Hey me and my Boyfriend have been together for about 7months and I don't know if we are ready for 'it'. We have been discussing sex for the past few days and I'm scared. I think I am ready but he really wants to do it because he loves me so much and ...
A. 8 October 2010: Short answer: If you are as uncertain, and apprehensive as your question sounds, you are probably NOT ready for a sexual relationship with your B/F. There are mental and emotional aspects of sex, as well as the physical aspects of being attracted ... (read in full...)
Oral sex question for the ladies... workin' on technique!
Q. So, I have a short goatee... not 5 o clock shadow just a tad bit longer that can create a nice maybe sandpaper feel lol.... do ladies like this if im goin' down on one? Like if I rub my trimmed beard against their clitorus? I'm workin on technique ...
A. 8 October 2010: For the first 10 years of marriage I never went more than a day or two without shaving, and my wife didn't care for the touch of that much stubble. Occasionally we would make a game of it, my trying to rub it against her breasts or thighs or face, ... (read in full...)
I can't feel him ejaculating inside me, is that normal?
Q. Well, my fiance and I started having sex about 2 weeks ago. We were both virgins and we wanted to wait until we get married in May but it kind of happened by accident. We talked and decided it was OK even though both our families are really ...
A. 7 October 2010: When I first started having sex I was surprised that my wife didn't feel it when I climaxed in her. She says it's a very special, intimate feeling when she can feel me twitching inside her but even that doesn't happen too often. And, despite the ... (read in full...)
What's it going to be like to be an old person?
Q. Ok so have you ever thought about what it is going to be like when you are older or like to have an actual job and family etc. Or when you die? Like I've always tried to imagine my self being 18 or whatever but I never can, like being allowed to go ...
A. 6 October 2010: As an ancient writer called simply "The Preacher" said,
"What has been will be again,
what has been done will be done again;
there is nothing new under the sun."
So if it makes you feel any better . . . other people have wondered ab... (read in full...)
Guys, would you be reluctant to marry a virgin?
Q. I'm 16, and never had a boyfriend before... I went to an all-girls school and have just started at a mixed college. A lot of the other girls I know are sleeping around and stuff. But I don't feel like I want anything like that. Hearing about ...
A. 5 October 2010: Read the reply from "Cerberus".
The lesson to learn from your previous experience is that sexual intimacy is not something to take lightly, or or do just for the sake of curiosity or "learning what it's like".
You may be unusual, but tha... (read in full...)
Guys! Is being a flat chested girl a turn-off to you??
Q. Okay, i know this is probably asked all the time but I'm worried my boobs are really small and i'll dissapoint when my bra comes off. I wear a B cup and it's usually at least a slightly padded bra that i wear. without it, there's practically nothing ...
A. 3 October 2010: Yes, that question gets asked fairly often.
In the first place, you don't need to worry about satisfying, or being attractive to "guys" - you only need to attract and satisfy "one guy". Take a look at the thread "Do guys get surprised when the... (read in full...)
How do I explain to my mom that I am grown and can be trusted??
Q. I am a 21 year old college student living at home with my parents due to financial reasons. My parents have always been protective but now that I have gotten older it seems like they have gotten worse, mainly my mother. I do work go to classes and ...
A. 2 October 2010: Well, I'm still stumped over what to suggest. You are obviously disappointed that your own mother is throwing a wet towel on your celebration.
Your dad's comment may be revealing. They say that many of us in the "baby boom" generation regret o... (read in full...)
Does breast feeding mess up your breasts?
Q. Hey well i heard that breast feeding messes up your nipples like makes them not soft any more and stuff and that they wont go back to normal is that true?...
A. 2 October 2010: Breastfeeding - for a year or more - is good for your baby. It's good for your mental health. It reduces your risk of breast cancer (see http://www.cancer.org/Cancer/BreastCancer/DetailedGuide/breast-cancer-risk-factors and ... (read in full...)
Girlfriend started crying after 1st time sex and now still won't talk to me about it?
Q. I've been dating an incredible girl for about 2.5 years. She's a year younger than me, so I'm in college and she's in high school. When we first started dating, she was a virgin and I wasn't. We agreed to wait until she was ready and the time was ...
A. 2 October 2010: This is a tough one to answer. When my wife and I exchanged virginity (she took mine and I got hers in return) on our wedding night we were both sobbing at the end. I was NOT prepared for that response, from either of us! For her, there had been ... (read in full...)
What does "this week is shot for me" mean?
Q. Meaning of the phrase "this week is shot for me!" Does anyone know what is meant when someone says "This week is shot for me!" Is it used often? I have never heard the phrase before and wonder if it is some type of an English idiom. I got...
A. 2 October 2010: Something is "shot" when it is worn out, used up, of no further use; perhaps (but not necessarily) broken, damaged, or faulty, etc.
"This week is shot" usually refers to a full or demanding schedule. Example, "I graduate on Monday and move to ... (read in full...)
My friends want to take me to a stripper or pro, but I want to wait for a true lover
Q. My birthday had just pass and i turned 18 i am a virgin and never had a girlfriend friends had asked me when im i going to lose my virginity and because iturned 18 they wanna take me to lose my virginity to a prostitude or stripper but i dont know ...
A. 1 October 2010: It sounds like a bad idea in several ways.
It looks like your friends are using you to act out some of their own fantasies. Read that again: your friends are using you. Why do you have friends who use you?
It goes without saying that the ... (read in full...)
How do I explain to my mom that I am grown and can be trusted??
Q. I am a 21 year old college student living at home with my parents due to financial reasons. My parents have always been protective but now that I have gotten older it seems like they have gotten worse, mainly my mother. I do work go to classes and ...
A. 1 October 2010: When I see questions like this I always wonder of the poster is accurately presenting the whole situation; or embellishing (or omitting) information.
There's no such thing as a neutral, unbiased opinion but I shall assume you are a person of integ... (read in full...)
Men only question, would you be interested in a woman like me??
Q. For men only! I have 34c breasts. I weigh 165 am 5' 10" dirty blonde hair. I am shy. My eyes are brownish green. By what I told u would u be interested in me?...
A. 1 October 2010: Let's see . . . here's a tall chick, a little heavier than height/weight guidelines, typical bustline.
But why should I be either interested, or uninterested, in her?... (read in full...)
I had a lumpectomy, what do guys think of that?
Q. I had a lumpectomy 1-1/2 years ago and now one breast is about a cup size smaller and somewhat distorted. Partly I'm okay with it because I think of it as a symbol of life. Another part of me is feeling nervous that a guy would be turned off when ...
A. 1 October 2010: Yeah, if he loves you that can make a lot of difference. You may benefit from reading the thread, "Do guys get surprised when the see what the breasts are shaped like without the bra?" at ... (read in full...)
Do guys get surprised when the see what the breasts are shaped like without the bra?
Q. Are you ready for a nontraditional question? Do guys get pleasantly/nonpleasantly surprised (you decide) when the bras come off their girlfriends? Girls wear all sorts of push up bras, lifting bras etc. that I'm curious if guys get surprise...
A. 1 October 2010: I can see that if a guy was expecting to get a one-time thing with a really shapely girl he would be disappointed. On the other hand, a guy who is looking for a relationship probably isn't too concerned about the difference the bra made in her ... (read in full...)
Any tips for first time sex for a guy who suffers from premature ejaculation?
Q. Hey everyone I suffer from premature ejaculation and me and my girlfriend will be having sex for the first time in a few weeks so i was wondered if you all could help. I was wondered with the stop start technique how long should i wait...
A. 29 September 2010: Read what "Tisha-1" said. She has some good advice.
You didn't tell us anything about your partner or your relationship with her. I really hope you two are talking about something like "life partners" or "marriage" before you add sex to your rel... (read in full...)
Men and orgasms.
Q. just a question about men and orgams, when a women orgasms i describe it you get a lovely feeling inside, its like a sneeze that i wish would last a lot longer than it does, usually a few seconds and in that few seconds is a real realease feeling, ...
A. 29 September 2010: A lot of research says that the physical sensations of orgasm are about the same for men as for women. The article "Male and Female Orgasm: Not so different?" at ... (read in full...)
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