A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey everyoneI suffer from premature ejaculation and me and my girlfriend will be having sex for the first time in a few weeks so i was wondered if you all could help.I was wondered with the stop start technique how long should i wait inbetween intervals and has anyone had any success with this method?Cheers everyone, I literally last seconds
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (30 September 2010): I suffered from this via masturbation myself.
Ironically, when I had first time sex, I couldn't cum! I did after a long while, but I was hoping to last maybe 10 minutes (rather than 30 secs) so I can have a break, but went over an hour!!
I used a thick condom (avoid the anal ones - I find them are typically below-average sized (thickness) whereas the durex ones etc. are average sized - unless you opt for different size) which was likely responsible. Wearing none or a thin one is likely to make YOU cum in 5 seconds.
Bottom line: no one is expected to be good on their first time but she will remember! This doesn't justify an extremely poor attempt just allows for more practice makes perfect if things could be improved.
Tips: Plenty of foreplay. Make her cum twice before entering. Make sure you are rock hard (just "erect (but slightly soft)" means you will likely loose your erection due to being anxious after entering). Make sure the position is comfortable (i.e. most people try on the bed; it is best to stay close to the edge, stand up, have her laying so legs are off the bed (they will be on when you hold them), make sure your cock is at the right height of entry (use pillows etc. if required to make sure this). Focus on the right movements throughout your whole body (don't try to move your cock individually, its like threading a needle on your first time). Remain confident and in control at all times (if you are about to cum, and its too soon i.e. she not heading that way yet, stop and do something else (i.e. kiss her, lick her nipples, rub her clit etc.)) Hope this helps
A
male
reader, daletom  +, writes (29 September 2010):
Read what "Tisha-1" said. She has some good advice.
You didn't tell us anything about your partner or your relationship with her. I really hope you two are talking about something like "life partners" or "marriage" before you add sex to your relationship. In particular, I hope this isn't a case of "Well, we have been dating for xx months, so it's time to have sex.", or (worse yet!) "I'm now xx years old, and I think all my friends are sexually active, so it's time for me to get laid.".
How experienced is your partner? Make sure she knows it's your first time! And I certainly hope you two have spent some time - at least several days, preferably a few weeks or even months - learning to pleasure each other to orgasm WITHOUT penetrative sex, before trying intercourse.
For guys' first intercourse it's something like 95% who climax much too soon, and about 4% who can't get it up or lose their erection before they enter their partner. The other 1% - have a partner who is caring and considerate, and knowledgeable about how to make it more (physically) pleasurable for you. She will help you to an orgasm just before attempting intercourse. With the edge taken off your arousal, you will have better control and be more aware of things when you are re-charged and ready to go (in about 5 - 10 minutes). While you wait for that, a gentleman will return the favor and help her to climax. That will make her open and lubricated - which also helps you last longer. When the moment arrives she may position you on your back and get on top, since most guys last longer when they are on their backs.
And when your release happens about 30 seconds after her vagina envelopes your erection, she will kiss you and hold you tightly and sincerely thank you for letting her be part of this significant even in your life. She will "read" your emotions, and give you some space or alone-time if you need it. Then she'll join you in some kind of activity - maybe taking a walk, or going for desert, or playing naked in bed. Around 30 minutes to a couple hours later you two may have sex again, and it will go MUCH better!
Please read what I said in the thread "Should I do anything special when I finally have sex with my boyfriend, since it'll be his first time?", at http://www.dearcupid.org/question/should-i-do-anything-special-when-i-finally.html . Perhaps you should show it to your girlfriend, too.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (29 September 2010):
 Sorry, but if it's your first time, you aren't going to last long, is my guess. But it's okay! You're not some circus performer, okay? You're a guy with the girl he loves and there's nothing to keep you from having some more practice!
Tell her you are so attracted to her and find her so beautiful and amazing that you know you won't be able to control yourself.
And then before you start intercourse, see if you and she together can bring her to orgasm with your hands and/or mouth with assistance from her. With any luck, she'll know about her own body, and know her sexual response and triggers.
If it's her first time, she's got her own worries and fears and it's not about you coming too fast. She's worried about the potential for pain and probably honestly won't be able to relax enough to enjoy it.
So my very best advice to you is to not worry about technique or timing but instead focus on being close to her and sharing the newness and excitement as a pair of co-conspirators would. You are in this together, it's a special moment, it's not something you'll be able to recapture ever again. Enjoy being with her!
Make it intimate and special by focusing on feelings instead of performance.
Here's something I want you to read before your first time:
http://men.webmd.com/features/6-sex-mistakes-men-make
http://men.webmd.com/guide/sex-fact-fiction
Good luck! You'll be fine.
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A
male
reader, Ldu  +, writes (29 September 2010):
Try busting a but before hand, so when your with your gf youll be on your second nut......which almost always last's longer then your first.....never tried it since i dont have that problem but going for round two you always seem to last longer. Hope that helps a bit.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 September 2010): Hi, I suffer from the same thing and the tips I can give you are
1) go a few times, if your using condoms then this could get a bit frustrating so if this is what your doing i'd advis asking her to go on the pill or get the implant or something
2) maybe use anal condoms so you have less feeling (they're thicker) also durex do condoms called performa which are supposed to help you last longer, I haven't ever used them though, my wife has the implant.
3)Stay off red meat!!!
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