I trust him but I don't trust his ex, and from his text messages it seems he met up with her at 3am last night! I cant talk to him about this so what should I do?
Q. Hi, i need some serious advice.i'm not the kind of person who would normally do this as whenever i have a conflict, i believe i am mature enough to handle it myself. but this is something that is really messing me up.me and my boyfriend have almost ...
A. 21 March 2011: Ya, I wonder why he is so picky about his privacy.
You chill and cut him loose, you're open and talk about anything, he is a great pretender.
Boy, this guys ego must be in 7th heaven.
Do you want to give that to him?
Cut him loose and don't ... (read in full...)
I still think of him. After a wasted year
Q. He loved me. Said it 100 times a day. It was like a blessed relationship. Then he totally got introvert. Avoided even talking to me once a week . Used to get angry or just keep silent. Wasn't calling for weeks. I tried everything mostly by being ...
A. 21 March 2011: I had a BF who said the same thing to me
"I've been really hurt and opening up to you or anyone is not really what I can do"
I looked at him and I said
"Ah, I see what's going on, you are just passing the buck,
you were hurt so you want som... (read in full...)
Girls:Would you chose attractive physical appearance over a big penis?
Q. I'm 18 , 6'3" tall, 200 pounds, athletic and i easily attract girls but i have problem that has been worrying me for a long time, i fit in the stereotype of a man with a big d**k,see i'm black,im tall, i wear a size 14 shoe and i have freakingly ...
A. 21 March 2011: Angziety, best answer I've ever read about this subject.
Some of my most boring sexual experiences were from guys with big penis'. Also yes! giving oral was a pleasure. God it was nice not to gag! And yes yes yes, talk about the repertoire.
Imagi... (read in full...)
I can't take it anymore, should I bring this up with her?
Q. I've recently been posting questions here on dear cupid asking advice towards an awkward situation right after meeting my LDR for the first time a week ago after talking for over 4 years. Despite the awkward feeling that occured after our visit ...
A. 21 March 2011: Let this be a life lesson to you and to all who read your post. Life in cyber space is a fantasy at best. We can be anyone we want to be. It's a safe place to play. But on the flesh and blood side of life we have nothing to hide behind. Not... (read in full...)
Worried my weight will be a turn off
Q. Im a 24 y/o female and recently got into a relationship with a 32 y/o guy. I really like him alot and want this to work out really bad. Problem is I'm worried that my weight will be a turn off, plus I've only ever been with one other guy and I ...
A. 21 March 2011: Lets get the weight off the table and look at a couple of other things.
You recently met. Mmmm should a sexual weekend be planned before maybe oh I don't know, mini putt?
You want to please him, strange, I don't hear how he wants to please you. Di... (read in full...)
Boyfriend wants to shower with me but we are virgins and I'm afraid it will lead to sex!
Q. My boyfriend and I are going on a holiday together which means that we are going to stay in the same room. He wants to shower with me but I don't know if I should as we are still virgins and I am afraid that that will lead to sex. Although, we h...
A. 21 March 2011: What's your real question. DO you want us to tell you NO, don't go Don't shower with him Don't lose your virginity This is very confusing seeing as you are telling us what is going to happen. IF you DONT want to lose your virginity in a shower... (read in full...)
I still can't get over my ex
Q. I am still in love with a guy I dated for about 9 months and I can't get over him, help! At the end of 9 months, he moved to another city and we said goodbye, but there was no closure..at least for me. This was two years ago. He was my first ...
A. 21 March 2011: You don't miss him or want him. You only are feeling rejected. You are also jealous and why should you be, he was a jerk? Right? Jealousy will only upset you, let go of the jealousy, it's telling you that you may have been able to be with him an... (read in full...)
I care very much but she doesn't want a relationship
Q. Hello I'm having a confusing situation right now with a female friend we cuddle when she drinks and the other night we had sex and I care about her a lot she's very close to me I care about like I've never cared about someone it doesn't feel like a ...
A. 21 March 2011: Problem no one. She's young and she drinks Problem no two. You love her but really don't know her Problem no three.You could be co-dependent and not realize it Problem no four Sex is not the answer to love it is the result of love. Problem... (read in full...)
I'd really love to get some flowers
Q. How do you get a guy to give you flowers with out you actually straight out telling him especially if you want it to be a surprise? One of my friend heard me complaining so she went around my back and e-mailed him to buy me some flowers which I ...
A. 21 March 2011: Pick the flowers you would like from the website.
Copy/Paste the flowers you would like and send him the pics and maybe he'll have them sent to you.
Guys don't want to come off as looking goofy.
Keep it discrete and I'm pretty sure you'll get y... (read in full...)
He has no sex drive?
Q. My boyfriend told me he has no sex drive he's 38 is this normal ? I don't know what to do I feel like its hurting our relationship if we do have sex I have to do everything and I'm not used to this at all not that I don't mind but every once in ...
A. 21 March 2011: Libido's come and go for a trillion reasons. I suggest a conversation that holds no contempt. "So honey, can you talk about sex?" Keep it open anything goes, from more dirty talk to I think I'm gay. Anything must be allowed to be discussed ... (read in full...)
I'm going to give him his space. Is he likely to notice?
Q. ive realised recently that i have been too insecure and clingy with the guy that ive been seeing. he always says he isnt angry at me but i know he gets exasperated. i have seen the error of my ways as it were, im going to give him his space for a ...
A. 21 March 2011: You mention it in your post. So busy so that I'll be more like the person he was initially attracted to. Are you always hiding your needs? Get you get your own needs met? Insecurity is a sign you are afraid of asking for something. How many tim... (read in full...)
Has anyone ever heard of a solution to help fix my embarassing issue?
Q. I have begun dating a really great guy and I don't want to screw things up. Problem is I know I have bad vaginal odor, I know I've probably lost guys because of this in the past and every guy I've been with has never given me oral. I've seen my ...
A. 19 March 2011: Green tea and tons of honey.. green tea tons of honey.
No beer, no booze, no meat, no white sugar, absolutely no white sugar. No white flour, no white rice, nothing white unless it is a fruit. Tons or fruit, vegies, water, water, honey and tea.... (read in full...)
What can or should I do? we broke up, but he's giving me mixed signals
Q. Hi dearCupid, I have been getting extremely mixed signal from my ex boyfriend. The story is, he dumped me about a week ago, but we still live together, and will be living together until July. The confusing part is he pays attention to what I ...
A. 19 March 2011: Why did he dump you?
Why did you let him stay?... (read in full...)
I'm attached to him, dream about him. How can we be together despite obstacles?
Q. So, this is a question about my boyfriend. Anyways, i have been seeing the same guy for three months today. And his family is c r a z y to say the least. His mom has a tight grip on him because his brother had become a whore after dating a gir...
A. 19 March 2011: i don't think she is overprotective of him.
I think she's protecting you.
Before getting emotionally involved with anyone.
You should know their baggage.... (read in full...)
She's 59 and I'm 18 so how can I tell her I love her? Also she's with someone.
Q. Help i am in love with my mums friend and i think she likes me too. But she is with some one and she has two kids. I am 18. i really want to tell her but i am not sure because she is with this other person and she is 59 and she doesn't act nor look...
A. 19 March 2011: Maybe she's from a passed life.
I would look at the things you like/love about her
and set it as a standard for your future GF's
Also this can be a sign you are uncomfortable with girls your own age. ... (read in full...)
I asked for more commitment, that backfired and now there's barely any contact
Q. I would appreciate some advice... I was seeing a guy for 3 months, we are both 27. I felt our relationship was too casual and told him i had to end it as i was getting attached. He asked me to stay with him and he would try to change. He did change ...
A. 18 March 2011: Seems he is listening to his peer group and his community which means he is struggling with being his own person. You want to go there? If you do end up freeing this man or helping free him of his attachments he'll only resent you for it. It was y... (read in full...)
Can you sleep with someone and not get attached?
Q. Can you sleep with someone and not get attached? Do you honestly think the 'friend w benefit' thing is possible?...
A. 18 March 2011: Because of birth control and women with careers they have the freedom to do and behave as they wish. The science of sex actually is quite interesting and complicated. The chemicals produced result in women becoming emotionally closer and men to b... (read in full...)
like a girl, but she doesn't see me the same.
Q. I asked a girl out a few months ago and she said she didn't have feelings for me. It's been quite hard because I really do like her a lot. Some of my friends have also said that she may be hiding feelings for me because she likes somebody else more. ...
A. 18 March 2011: NO, you can't wait as long at it takes.
Judging from your age, you will have these same feelings
for 1000 and one more girls.
Take it easy, keep your eyes open and your goals in check.
Just casually mention to her that if she finds free time ... (read in full...)
Can anyone tell me how I can be less needy?
Q. Hello everyone! Here is my problem. Me and my bf have not been getting on too well, and there have been a lot of issues lately. He has asked for some space from me this week, I last saw him on Sunday, today is Thursday and we are meeting up on Satur...
A. 18 March 2011: You said it "I hate myself for being this way"
So what is it in your inner self that you think you should suffer? What do you gain from suffering?
Control, resilience, power, retribution, forgiveness?
Your needs are IMO acceptable norma... (read in full...)
I can't stand feeling this way any more
Q. my life is a mess and i cant stand it no more, all i do is wake up and mop about my house i only have a part time job so only work 2 days a week, i dont drive and due to not having a full time job, havnt got enough money to learn. me and my ...
A. 18 March 2011: Don't let the JOB thing define you.
Pretend you are a primate, keeping the fire going, hunting, gathering. Sitting most of the hours with nothing but a stick in a fire, churning the day away grunting.
Learning to linger in the nothing world wi... (read in full...)
'veiny' looking marks make me shy about showing my body
Q. i have these wierd veiney lines along my hips...i dont know what a boy would think of them. i dont wont to have sex yet, but i'm pretty sure that they'll still be there when i do. im just so afraid of what he will think of me....
A. 18 March 2011: Actually these markings will make you very special.
Like some goddess from another planet
Like you have special powers.
Like that blue lady who sings opera in the Fifth Element.
When men say "she has this birth mark on her thigh'
"her toes cu... (read in full...)
Should I contact my father? My mom has fiercely protected me from him all these yrs, because he had sexually abused my older half brother and half sister...
Q. When i was 6 years old my biological father was put in prison for sexually abusing my older half brother and half sister. After this my mum took out an injunction preventing him from coming anywhere near me until i was 18 years old. After this he ...
A. 18 March 2011: This is tricky.
Outside of what anyone else thinks, You'll have to answer it for yourself.
On one hand he's your bio dad and you may feel an inner guilt for carrying on his genes. Maybe you want to prove you are not like him. Maybe you're j... (read in full...)
Token Penis Size Question
Q. No serious insecurities here, and I know this gets asked constantly but seriously A good, caring guy with a great personality and good career who totes your average 6 inch 5 around penis or A good caring guy with a great personality and goo...
A. 18 March 2011: Seeing as they are both with great personality and good career. Seems that your importance lies on these points.
Though Career and Personality is a personal thing.
So the size of his wallet and his smile seem most important, I'd say dick size won... (read in full...)
Unrequited love....
Q. I love a very good female friend of mine. We did not know each other two years ago, She has changed my life completely : taught me how to be a nice and normal person. Before that I was just a person who has barely any emotions. I love her a lot b...
A. 18 March 2011: So you want to exercise the demon from the one that made you feel complete. Serious conflict here.
It may suck that she doesn't want you. Which is why you hang on for conformation, validation.
Take that new good you and put all that towards ... (read in full...)
I'm interested in two guys - help?
Q. Long story short i met this guy(a) like two years ago we havent stablished anything serious yet but he says he can see himself in the future with me...He had an argument not long ago and he totally vanished from this planet. Now during that time i ...
A. 18 March 2011: Look at what you love about both, you'll find that in yourself.
Talk to both, don't go all mushy on either and tap into those special qualities that you may find and put them on your hit list for the one man you may match in your future.
We le... (read in full...)
I have nothing to talk about with my husband!
Q. I married 3 years ago.i have 2 children.when i used to talk to my husband before marriage,he seems to be questioning about my character.and he always blaming me that i dont know this that and bla bla.but also i married him hoping that he will love ...
A. 18 March 2011: Your first comment, 3 years married 2 children.
And mother inlaw abuse. You are not a victim here.
Take away the 3 years, the mother hood and the mother inlaw and who are you? Maybe the best conversations from this question will be your life's a... (read in full...)
I feel we should be spending more time together!
Q. Okay so this question is only for people who have been in serious relationships. I need a non bi-est opinion on whats right. My boyfriend and I have been together now for about 7 months and we are in love. We never really argue but when we do its ...
A. 18 March 2011: He is training you, conditioning you to HIS schedule.
If that's acceptable to you, he's in you are in.
You're allowing his behavior, meaning, you're responsible for your happiness, that is if you are happy, but with this post, maybe not happy? W... (read in full...)
After 5 years, how do I tell my husband just how unsatisfied I am with our sex life? Or is it just what married life is about....bad sex that eventually becomes no sex?
Q. I have been married for 5 years. My husband has always tended to be a rather selfish lover. However I am now really struggling with this issue. He rarely does anything to pleasure me, and believes that sex is simply about his orgasm. He r...
A. 18 March 2011: firstly don't mention a 5 year problem.
Anything past a 5 minute problem may not even be heard.
Take it from the last time you had sex.
You've been quiet about your needs for so long, it's become your problem, not his.
So now you want more, t... (read in full...)
What does it mean when a guy says he does love you but he doesn't bother talking to you very much?
Q. Ok So I have this boyfriend and its really complicated because it's a distance relationship so thats already a extreme added conflict. However we are like most couples. But he does this thing where we will be fine and then after a while he kind of ...
A. 18 March 2011: Too many women are spending there time online looking for love !!!!!!!!!!??????
Why, maybe it's just too safe!
Why go there, get a real in the flesh man
Have you met this guy in the real flesh?
It's too easy to be anyone you want online.
It's to... (read in full...)
Is he going to ignore me forever and will I never be able to get any answers?
Q. I was seeing a man for 4 months. I found out he was doing a few things to me behind my back. He had lied about his age, he had another women he was spending time with. He never took me on dates,i just felt hidden. It all began to add up. I ...
A. 17 March 2011: No he's not going to ignore you forever, but hopefully you'll ignore him forever. You tell him you can do much better than him.. Than do it. Do you really need this?... (read in full...)
Body isn't quite perfect after childbirth
Q. I am a 27yo F. I have a 6yo daughter. I use to have a flawless body pre-baby. Post-baby, is.... jus.... terrible. My skin on my stomach is saggy... no matter how much I work out it is here to stay. I look and see other women complain and all the ...
A. 17 March 2011: I'd say
"that's my nine months of pregnancy, that's my pain and scars of delivery. And that is my beautiful daughter whom I love more than life itself."
"Where are your scars of love and pain and sacrifice?
"And next time you dangle your ... (read in full...)
Highly possessive, unstable mother of only son
Q. Hi everyone, I'm here to complain (and search for some ideas) about my mother. = The backstory = I'm an only son, my parents divorced when I was 5. It happened because my dad went off to search for love elsewhere and my mum found out. ...
A. 17 March 2011: Buy her a dog..
A really cute tiny puppy that needs her all.
Tell your GF to say to her she's the greatest mom ever.
Sounds ridiculous but will calm her fears and anxiety.
But ASAP get your own place.
It's hell on moms who become empty nes... (read in full...)
Player brushed me off
Q. Hey everyone. please help me! There is this guy I have known for 4 years we study together. We can never be together and he is known to be a sort of player and is not liked by many girls they think he is an arsehole! But everything has always been ...
A. 17 March 2011: Huge ouch!!!
Maybe you should have listened to your sista's, seems they had his number.
Also you told him you liked him and maybe he is not only introverted but totally inert ! Thus the provoked insult to protect his players ego. They are very... (read in full...)
G/f's moods from ADD?
Q. i have a bit of a problem my gf she has ADD and i'm ok with it but the problem is when she takes her medication for it she becomes extremely moody almost everything i do that would be perfectly fine without medication is turned to a fight its gotten ...
A. 17 March 2011: Look up the side effects of her meds. Talk to her family or dr. about what's going on and maybe a change in meds will help. It actually may be a good thing that we are witness to this. You may save her life.... (read in full...)
I want to have a casual relationship but I always end up getting attached!
Q. I have been screwed over in a couple of relationships all the time mostly got cheated on, or guy leads me on or simply just being used and I'm sick of getting hurt. I was naive then but not anymore. Now I just want to go the route of casual dating ...
A. 17 March 2011: This casual sex is saying to all those guys that hurt you.
"See, me here, having sex with guys, hope you're feeling the pain sucker"
That's not what you want. That's only going to destroy you.
What you're trying to do is play by a players rule... (read in full...)
I still think of him. After a wasted year
Q. He loved me. Said it 100 times a day. It was like a blessed relationship. Then he totally got introvert. Avoided even talking to me once a week . Used to get angry or just keep silent. Wasn't calling for weeks. I tried everything mostly by being ...
A. 17 March 2011: I feel ya !
You don't need to forgive him, you need to forget him.
Not easy because, well, it's your ego, your self worth.
Not easy stuff when you decided to hand your fella your heart on a plate. He could be going through all kinds of stuff in ... (read in full...)
Why has he suddenly gone quiet?
Q. Hello! I'll try and keep this brief! I've been chatting to a guy online for the last month, everyday. It first started off with 4 emails each everyday. Then as I've been off work it was more frequent, sometimes chatting for 5/6 hours etc. He ...
A. 17 March 2011: Let me get this right...
You are telling us that you've been chatting online for 2 years with a guy you've never met in the flesh. Have the opportunity to meet a guy in the flesh and turn him down for someone on a monitor. Whoa.. that's kinda frea... (read in full...)
Did our two year relationship mean nothing to him?
Q. So me and my ex got back together and in November and split again in December when he decided to kiss my best friend when he was drunk and out with his friends. But a week later I ended up staying at his house as we were on a night out with mutual ...
A. 17 March 2011: Again I ask, why do you think he would want to hurt you?
What happened in the first part of the relationship?... (read in full...)
How do I start loving myself and feel worthy? my self esteem is at rock bottom
Q. Will I ever feel good enough is the question. I am nearly 36 and to cut a long story short, I feel pretty worthless and not good enough and not accepted and worry about being judged and people realising this about me. I am fairly sure it stems from ...
A. 10 March 2011: You've survived suffering and abuse.
You've coped with living your life to this point.
Now you want more... that's good.
You now reach out looking for the light.
Yes, do that !
You have not given up !
You're seeking don't stop !
Little ste... (read in full...)
How do I start a conversation with this guy?
Q. I work in a mall on a stand where smoothies and drinks and things like that are sold, its sort of like starbucks. And in malls there are always security guards walking around and where I work theres a security guard who is really hot. He comes and ...
A. 10 March 2011: How about asking him, ''You know, my friends and me are going out this friday night, sure would be nice if we all had a body guard like you, it can get pretty crazy in some bars'' This way your complimenting his lively hood, his ability, his look... (read in full...)
Need help with drug addicted boyfriend
Q. Hello. I seriously need help. My boyfriend and I have been together for nearly two years. I am 26 and he is 25. At first, things were great. We got along really well and had lots of fun together. I knew he had problems in the past, and had do...
A. 10 March 2011: You help you first. Go attend an AlAnon meeting. That's first. In that meanwhile, his addiction is his alone. Until you get clear any amount of nagging, demanding, threatening is not going to help. It's not doomed, it's just in high veloci... (read in full...)
Did our two year relationship mean nothing to him?
Q. So me and my ex got back together and in November and split again in December when he decided to kiss my best friend when he was drunk and out with his friends. But a week later I ended up staying at his house as we were on a night out with mutual ...
A. 10 March 2011: Get back at you for what? You sound like your feeling guilty for something?... (read in full...)
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