A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So there’s a guy I met through my cousin and we have been talking for a month but under the understanding that we would be FWB. I’m a 30 year old female and he is a 28 year old male. He has only had one partner and I’m a Virgin and tbh I just feel ready to explore my sexuality. So we agreed to be FWB. I think he is cute and he seems very sweet. We have things in common and I was just eager to get to know him more as a friend and also fun exploring a sexual side with him. But maybe I’m rushing it because you know…. I just feel hot and ready, honestly. Like I’ve thought this through for a while. We have talked about about our schedules and what we may and may not like and our fantasies and ideas. I just do not get why the ball isn’t rolling so I decided to put on my big girl panties and ask him if he was free on my off day! Go me, right! Lol well…. He is busy looking at houses with his mom (as if he can’t stop by around 10 or 11 pm to mess around), but he never offered alternative days and also when I asked him lol he responded with yeah, I know lol but I’m busy and he went into detail. Not going to lie lol I was kinda irritated cause I really just want some physical intimacy with a cute guy. Anywho…. Any thoughts or opinions. This is my first time dealing with this weird mess. I never have luck with guys. They pursue me and sometimes I just don’t like the vibe or they just become flaky. It’s like does he not want to have sex??? Why even keep asking me?? Was it to feed his ego? I mean what guy wouldn’t want sex without commitment? I’d know ppl be like wait to you find the one, and someone you are committed to and love you. Hell that may never fucking happen for me. I have urges and needs lol. I may have to find someone else I feel comfortable with. Oh well…. Guess I just wanted to vent my frustrations and disappointments of him not seeming more into than I thought he would be.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 February 2022): A friend told me that in her mid 20s she had a FWB thing with her handsome married boss, mid 40s. Her boyfriend was in another city. His wife lost interest in sex. They checked a lot of boxes in bed. Then she told me she had 2 other mid 40's, married FWB and probably could have 3 others. These guys give you free advertising it seems. And they know what they're doing,if you know what she means. Look elsewhere. That's what she said.
A
male
reader, kenny  + ♥, writes (8 February 2022):
 I think that maybe you need to take a step back from this situation, stop chasing him, or arranging subsequent meet ups. This is by your own admission a casual set up, so you can't really get upset when he refuses to see you.
I think if he wanted to see you then he would, but maybe he just see's this as a casual set up and does not feel the need to keep seeing you when you ask him.
As for finding the one, why do you say this will never happen for you?. Of course it will, maybe you just need to adopt a little more self love.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 February 2022): You contradict yourself. You say about being fwb but you are not if it has never happened. You say you want to get to know him and you think he is sweet etc, that sounds like you hope it will turn into a proper relationship not just fwb. Make your mind up and stop pretending it's one when it is the other. You come across desperate, pushy and demanding, so of course he loses interest. For a woman of thirty you are very immature and lack self awareness - even if you are a virgin. You don't throw yourself at guys unless you want them to just use you as a convenience and for sex. You would be the first one to complain if he started stuff like "I might pop in late at night if not too tired or doing something more interesting" and did not turn up. You cannot have it both ways.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 February 2022): Sorry to say this but this guy is not interested in you so he doesn't want to get involved. I suggest you forget him I am sure there are million other guys who would love to have you. There are plenty fish in the sea as the saying goes but he is not one of them. Good luck.
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (5 February 2022):
It's highly likely that he's nervous. If the guy is 28 and only been laid once he maybe be a little overwhelmed with the prospect of a woman basically laying on the bed waiting for him.
This is my theory because I was faithfully married for 12 years, and after we divorced it was difficult for me to feel comfortable sleeping with someone else. It definitely took some time. And some alcohol.
So maybe you need to just ask him if he wants to go do something with you. Allow him to go at a pace he's comfortable with. Because you might be scaring him off. You're not doing anything wrong, it just seems to be the wrong approach for him.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (5 February 2022):
 You can easily come off as desperate if you don't just hold our horses. " I have urges and needs lol." You say you are a virgin and if you are in your 30's... you have waited this long, you can wait a bit longer. What is the hurry?
It might also be that he isn't AS interested as you first thought. Or as HE first thought.
If he seems UNWILLING or UNINTERESTED in being your FWB, move on to someone else. But take your time in picking the guy you want to be sexual with.
Are you on birthcontrol?
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