What can I do about my insecurities?
Q. Hi everyone, just would like some advice about the situatuon im in basicly me and my bf have been together 3 years and becausr of my insecurities I feel like im ruining the relationship a little as I dont feel goid enough. I no alot of people have ...
A. 12 January 2015: You should stop thinking that someone else's opinion makes you who you are. You are you. If one man has a preference that is different than you does that mean there's something wrong with you?
No.
It means you're not his type. No big deal. If ... (read in full...)
Ex boyfriend wants to take me out
Q. Hi, My ex boyfriend and I dated for one year, we never had any fights and truly loved each other. Before we started dating I told him that for our relationship to work, he ll need to convert to my religion. He promised he d try to learn more and...
A. 12 January 2015: I was in his situation. My wife never gave me an ultimatum but she at least wanted me to"explore" her church. I did everything she and her church asked of me and felt no"spark" that let me know I was making the right choice by joining. So, I didn't ... (read in full...)
I know deep down he does care for me, how do I get him to open up?
Q. I have this friend, who was literally the nicest person on this earth. He wasn't a typical lad, he was a real man. we were best friends for a long time and throughout this, especially in the later years when he started hanging around with a group of ...
A. 9 January 2015: There are no magic words to make him go back to the way you prefer him. Since he was bullied he probably feels a strong need to fit in, and since he's doing that he feels comfortable, if not happy.
With time he'll probably be more comforta... (read in full...)
She picks and finds fault with everything I do. What should I do?
Q. Recently got engaged to my partner and we have been living together for the past 6 months. Over the course of living together I have found she is a real knit picker and i'm feeling like anything I do is never good enough, even when I do what I c...
A. 8 January 2015: First things first: this will only get worse when you get married. Right now you're not compatible enough to get married.
Try going to couple's counseling to see if you can figure out how to live together without hating each other.
If you ... (read in full...)
I'm worried she's getting bored with me
Q. I have a problem that is probably in my head. A couple months ago I met a girl I never gave any thought until two months ago when I realized she had a crush on me. I gave her my number and she was texting me all the time and she seemed like she was ...
A. 7 January 2015: A good life lesson is to be the best "you" you can be and if that's not good enough for someone else don't be hurt, just blame it on incompatibility because that's all it is.
When I say "Be the best "you"" I mean don't be lazy. Falling in love and... (read in full...)
I don't like the idea of masturbating and have never had an orgasm - help!
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for just over a year now but I still haven't orgasmed during sex (at least I don't think I have...) He is my first boyfriend and before being with him I was a virgin. After speaking to most of my girlfriends, they all go ...
A. 4 January 2015: Just do it knowing he'll find it sexy. All of a sudden it'll feel good.
I was the same way as you, never masturbated until I started having sex.The girl I was with wanted to do it together and I guess I enjoyed it.... (read in full...)
Why could I barely feel this man during sex?
Q. Hello. When i had sex, man on top, i could barely feel his penis. I am not loose down there as when i insert a finger inside my vagina, i can orgasm and feel my vaginal walls. I never had this pblm with my other partners. I also need deep and fast ...
A. 4 January 2015: If a guy isn't very hard it can be difficult to feel him even if the size is okay. I've experienced this from a male point of view. If I'm not stiff (even if it looks like it's erect) the woman feels it less because it kind of bends softly around ... (read in full...)
I found out my boyfriend is cheating, how do I handle it?
Q. My boyfriend of 5 months has been acting strange he used to reply to my messages within an hour at the most but usually straight away but now he keeps coming up with stupid reasons like his phone needs charging I can charge my phone and still reply ...
A. 4 January 2015: You've been with him long enough that if you don't know how to bring this up to him you two are probably not meant to be. Which seems especially likely if he's cheating.
Just tell him you know he's on a dating website and you don't want to be wi... (read in full...)
My girlfriend caught me lying, should I just break things of now?
Q. About 3 weeks ago, my girlfriend caught me lying to her about a couple of stupid things. She's quite conservative and I lied about the things I did (which I don't think are a big deal) because I didn't want to upset her, although I do know that ...
A. 3 January 2015: It doesn't sound like you're compatible to me. It's probably better to not drag it out. In the long run compatibility is crucial!... (read in full...)
I want to separate but b/f keeps calling me!
Q. Hi, my problem is my boyfriend. I want to go our separate ways but he keeps calling me and i don`t want to be rude so i answer. The reason i want to spilt is because he gets angry over little things, is controlling and borrows money and never gives ...
A. 1 January 2015: Tell him it's over and you don't want to talk to him anymore. If he keeps calling after that he's the one being rude.... (read in full...)
With my boyfriend but want to know more about his friend
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for 5 years and our relationship is doom now. We argue a lot and I feel unconnected with him anymore. We don't have same interest and seems like being in different opinion on many things. I admit that we both feel ...
A. 29 December 2014: I hope you realize that you're in the beginning stage of cheating. If you don't want to be with your boyfriend break up with him. Be respectful to the man who loves you and treated you well for five years.
Don't date anyone else right away, it... (read in full...)
Is she being selfish and should I bring it up in such a new relationship?
Q. To cut straight to the chase, I think my girlfriend is selfish. But is she? Is it just me overreacting? Basically I really like this girl. We've been together about 2 months. We've told each other that we like each other and were not trying to me...
A. 28 December 2014: This is one of those questions when an outsiders opinion really shouldn't matter.
If YOU think she is selfish, then she's selfish. If I don't think she's selfish based on what you say, what good is that to you? You'll still continue to feel lik... (read in full...)
Why does living with your parents look much worse in guys than it does in girls? for guys it usually kills their chances of having a dating life/sex life, for girls not so much
Q. If a guy lives with his parents, usually it seems if the guy is past a certain age and lives with his parents, he won't get a second look from most women, but if a woman lives with her parents regardless of her age, it's usually not a deal-breaker ...
A. 28 December 2014: Roommates are frowned upon at some point, but not your 20's. However, telling people you have roommates, when they are in fact your parents, is basically lying by deception.... (read in full...)
Why does living with your parents look much worse in guys than it does in girls? for guys it usually kills their chances of having a dating life/sex life, for girls not so much
Q. If a guy lives with his parents, usually it seems if the guy is past a certain age and lives with his parents, he won't get a second look from most women, but if a woman lives with her parents regardless of her age, it's usually not a deal-breaker ...
A. 28 December 2014: When I lived with my parents I never had trouble getting women. But I lived with them because I was going to school.
If you're in your late 20's and living with them it means you're unsuccessful. Women tend to look for a provider while men look... (read in full...)
Should I confront her about her secret correspdence with her ex?
Q. I've just found out my girlfriend has been messaging her ex in secret, should I confront her about it? We're both 26 and have been together 6 years. Her ex was her childhood sweetheart but they split up after he cheated on her. A few days ago I was ...
A. 27 December 2014: There's obviously no reason to get upset but also no reason not to mention that you noticed it. I'd remind her about boundaries a d how harmless chatting can progress to harmless flirting, innuendo, meet ups, and eventually cheating. So lines need ... (read in full...)
Why can't lovers be friends instead of enemies?
Q. Dear cupid I have a few exes in my life that I still communicate with but now all of a sudden everyone of them seems as if I did some thing wrong to them but I didn't.We as adults still talk to one another but now they are ignoring me.I'm not ...
A. 26 December 2014: If you didn't do anything wrong then you didn't do anything wrong- no need to wonder. They just moved on and aren't interested in a conversation.... (read in full...)
Why would he delete messages if they are innocent?
Q. So me and my boyfriend have been together around 7-8 months before me there was a girl at work he was friends with or so he says he was friends with they talked on Facebook and he'd give her lifts home she then started to tell people he'd tried it ...
A. 26 December 2014: Either he's trying to cheat on you or he deletes them because if you see flirtatious messages you'll be upset. Pick whichever answer you prefer since there's no way we could know the truth.... (read in full...)
How can I get over feeling I'm too old to have a girlfriend at 26? How should I flirt, talk to and approach women?
Q. The fact i'll be 27 in a few weeks and I still haven't had a girlfriend yet, obviously still a virgin, the fact that I didn't have my first girlfriend and didn't lose my virginity around the age-range most people do just makes me bitter and ...
A. 25 December 2014: Okay, let's say you're right, because you probably are. It's also not a big deal to leave your comfort zone and ask a girl out.
And socially awkward women may get asked out more than socially awkward men do, but they probably have a pretty h... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is emotionally unavailable so I cheated. Now what?
Q. I have been with my bf together for 1.5 years and for the past 6 months, we have been arguing a lot (a weekly basis, and it always ends up with me crying). Things we argue about: him flirting with other girls excessively, him texting other girls ...
A. 24 December 2014: It's so obvious that this relationship is doomed... it's like a bandaid. You have to yank it off fast to minimize the pain.... (read in full...)
How to COMMUNICATE I don't like what he called me?
Q. Chatting with a great guy via text and we've yet to meet. Our meeting being next month. Last night he had to go to sleep quite early and while saying good night, referred to me as 'babe'. "Night night babe sleep well." I feel the babe thing is wa...
A. 23 December 2014: Uhhhh... Babe is a pretty common thing to say to someone even if you don't have a relationship. It's not the same as "baby".
If you say something to him it should be gentle or he'll be turned off by your (possibly) uptight nature.
Just wa... (read in full...)
I feel like such a loser lately!
Q. Man I feel like such a loser lately. I'm 22 years old, filled regret from my college experience because it was basically 4 years of stress/emotional suffering/extreme loneliness. I graduated with an ok gpa luckily, but so far I have no job (I've ...
A. 23 December 2014: You're thinking too much... At 22 to be worried that you haven't found a boyfriend yet is not fair to yourself. You've been busy and you're currently in a situation where finding someone is difficult.
I would stop worrying about dating and just... (read in full...)
How can I get over feeling I'm too old to have a girlfriend at 26? How should I flirt, talk to and approach women?
Q. The fact i'll be 27 in a few weeks and I still haven't had a girlfriend yet, obviously still a virgin, the fact that I didn't have my first girlfriend and didn't lose my virginity around the age-range most people do just makes me bitter and ...
A. 23 December 2014: There have been plenty of women posting similar questions here. Don't act like you have it all figured out because it's convincing you that you're done for when you're not.
... (read in full...)
I said " I love you" but he said he doesn't love me but is enjoying our time together.
Q. I told my bf I loved him after 1 year. He stood quiet and didn't say anything. I left home and all day he did not call or text me. I called him late to talk and he basically said that he doesn't love me but is only enjoying time with me. He ...
A. 22 December 2014: It means that your relationship probably doesn't have any long term potential. He's living in the moment and happy to be there but not interested in anything more.... (read in full...)
My ex is coming over and says he doesn't want sex. What if I do?
Q. Dear cupid, My ex is coming over tomorrow to hag out,he says he wants to catch up and watch TV. He says he doesn't want to have sex but what if I want to? I know I'm not gonna pressure him but I don't want to come on too strong. What do I do?...
A. 22 December 2014: What do you do? Be a decent human being and respect your exes wishes. Leave him alone.... (read in full...)
My little sister is dating a much older man and lying about it, and I'm worried he's taking advantage of her! Do I tell our parents?
Q. Hi. My sister is 21 and yesterday told me she is in a relationship with a 40 year old man. This is her first ever relationship and they have been together 6 months. She says they are getting 'serious' however she has not and is not planning to tell ...
A. 22 December 2014: If by now she hasn't learned how to take care of herself then telling on her will do no good. She's a grown woman. Let her learn her own lessons at this age.... (read in full...)
Am I better off dating someone within my own culture/race?
Q. Five years in an interracial relationship with a man fifteen years older than me. I thought I loved him but now, I'm unsure. Holiday season is depressing. I've never been invited to a family dinner or functions and I hate it. My friends are always ...
A. 22 December 2014: I'd say your problem is not with your race being different, its your boyfriend... He's just not the one. The best guy for you will be proud of you regardless of what their family will think.... (read in full...)
How much space do I give him?
Q. Hi, I had quite a flirty relationship online with a guy that I met once who wanted to have a one night stand with me. I wasn't wanting the one the night stand, but I did like him and would have taken things further. However, he seems to be into ...
A. 21 December 2014: Mr. Charming was only that way when he thought you'd sleep with him.... (read in full...)
Does clothing really play a part in attractiveness?
Q. Does clothing really play a part in your attractiveness? I come from a relatively 'poor' or woking middle class family. While I've never had to worry about going to bed on an empty stomach and have always attended quality schools, my family income...
A. 17 December 2014: Look at a good looking guy in a tailored suit and the same guy wearing poorly fitted, out of style clothes.
Which one will people prefer to look at?
How you dress says a lot about you and your family. It is very superficial, but most people ... (read in full...)
Thoughts about how to give her my number?
Q. So there's this unbelievably cute girl that works at a drive thru near me. Shes 19 and im 24. She and I always chat it up when I go there and she's really friendly and funny. The other night after talking with her for a few minutes I popped the ...
A. 17 December 2014: A card is a good idea. But if she's a little shy it may be pointless. So think of what you'd do if she doesn't call you before you decide on how to give your number to her. If you do it the wrong way it may be awkward to ask again.... (read in full...)
Would a letter be a good way to tell him how I feel?
Q. I might be going to meet a friend that ui realy like i have known him for 6 years and loved him for 5 years i was wondering how to tell him i realy like him and this is one of the rare occasions i get to see him . I was thinking of writing a letter ...
A. 17 December 2014: If I was you I'd go see him and try to have a great time. If there's flirting even better, that way your body language will do let him know you Luke him. That will give him the chance to realize, "Hey, something is going on here..."
Then, before y... (read in full...)
Will anyone who follows her first love be second best?
Q. A girl I know told me that the love of her life ,her first BF(broke up years ago after a few years of relationship), will always be the one she carers about. I have a question: is this fair to the guy she marries? I mean her future husband (she ...
A. 16 December 2014: I don't give two shots for my first love, she was crazy.
Some people just have a yearning for the person who broke their heart. I have a friend who was kind of a player, never really fully committing to anyone. But, if a girl broke up with him... (read in full...)
Why didn't he look for me, is he not interested in me?
Q. Why didn't he look for me, is he not interested in me? So my brother invited me a function at his church and I got talking to this lady and she said I was very beautiful and that there is a guy she'd like to set me up with. I caught her...
A. 16 December 2014: At this stage you shouldn't be worrying about these little details. Maybe he's shy? Maybe he thought you were avoiding him? Who knows?
Ask him out. Easy.... (read in full...)
I'm so confused. Does she just see me as a friend or is it possible she sees me as more than a friend?
Q. She first suggested doing something together we have since met a few times. During the 1st occasion she was fairly scathing about a girl I occasionally speak to. On the second occasion she informed me she had broken up with her boyfriend but I was ...
A. 16 December 2014: A good way to find out if a girl likes you is to ask her on a date. If she says "no I just see you as a friend" then you have your answer.... (read in full...)
When a man is looking for a girlfriend does he prefer her to look plain or modest?
Q. What are men looking for? Honestly. I was on my break at work and having a laugh and joke with some of my male colleges. We got on to the subject of kids and i spoke about my daughter and Christmas. One of them said, your not married are you? I ...
A. 16 December 2014: Every person has different preferences. You can't please everybody.
Also, don't take what the guy said too seriously either. His opinion is worthless and has nothing to do with what you actually look like.
Not to mention words can get misspoke... (read in full...)
I yearn for true love, harmony and happiness, again. But how? Is it too much to ask for?
Q. I miss my ex so much. Me and him broke up almost 10 years ago. We both moved on and I got married, divorced and contacted him, and he got in and out of several relationships, but today he doesn´t seem to be interrested. He was my first real...
A. 15 December 2014: I don't mean to offend you, but I think your best option is to see a therapist. No, you're not crazy, but I believe you have an irrational fantasy for this guy.
You seem to be aware of that in a way, but not enough to end the fantasy.
And a f... (read in full...)
I yearn for true love, harmony and happiness, again. But how? Is it too much to ask for?
Q. I miss my ex so much. Me and him broke up almost 10 years ago. We both moved on and I got married, divorced and contacted him, and he got in and out of several relationships, but today he doesn´t seem to be interrested. He was my first real...
A. 14 December 2014: By asking people to not use their experience to answer you're making it pretty difficult to answer. How do you think people learn about these kinds of things?
The only answer you want is how to get back with this guy, yet you know your options ... (read in full...)
I know she wont stop talking to him, so do I just have to get over it?
Q. Hi, Me and my girlfriend have been together for nearly two years, it was a whirlwind romance, we moved in together quickly, we are engaged and I really do love her with all of my heart. She used to work with a guy who before we even started goi...
A. 14 December 2014: Look, there is a chance that nothing is going on now or ever will. There's also a chance that she just really likes him as a platonic friend.
But, a FACT is that she is doing something that hurts you and she doesn't care because she thinks y... (read in full...)
I've heard rumours heis cheating, and now I have found condoms.
Q. My boyfriend n i have been togather for 7 years. Throughout the yrs iv herd rumors, but thats all. Two different times we went to have sex he couldnt get hard. Then a week later i found a condom unused in his stuff in our bedroom and we dont use...
A. 13 December 2014: Not getting hard has nothing to do with cheating. So toss that bit of "evidence".
The condoms could be old. Check the expiration date. But if it's new, and was somewhere that nobody but him could have left it, that IS evidence of cheating... (read in full...)
Can an abuser ever change?
Q. My partner and I have been together for a little while now. Up until about two weeks ago, we only had usual couple arguments. Here lately, I've been wanting to break up. Over the course of a week, every time I would say I want to leave, he would get ...
A. 13 December 2014: Anyone can change, but in his case it'd take years of therapy and anger management. Until then he might kill you.
If you wait a few years and he says he's better, how will you know? Is it worth risking your life?
Finally, having children ... (read in full...)
Does one bj make your husband gay?
Q. My husband used my laptop and forgot to close the sight he was on, when I got home I turned on the computer to check on a recipe and there it was: My husband was making a date with a woman ( he gave her his cell phone #), I was furious. He said that ...
A. 12 December 2014: You've got lots of good advice, but I want to add that if you forgive him he will need a lot of therapy before you should trust him. Not therapy to rid him of his bisexuality, but his sexual addiction. He doesn't seem to be able to be faithful.
... (read in full...)
He told me about his past to try to seem "more desirable"
Q. I have been seeing a guy for 5 weeks. He already tells me he thinks I am the one and that he is falling in love with me. He has a female co worker who he sits next to. However after a drunken work party he came to visit me, he was drunk andsta...
A. 12 December 2014: This is one of those grey areas where your anger is justified as long as you think it is.
It's not our job to tell you how to feel...
I would say that it was a stupid mistake on his part though.
You just have to ask yourself a couple of... (read in full...)
I yearn for true love, harmony and happiness, again. But how? Is it too much to ask for?
Q. I miss my ex so much. Me and him broke up almost 10 years ago. We both moved on and I got married, divorced and contacted him, and he got in and out of several relationships, but today he doesn´t seem to be interrested. He was my first real...
A. 27 November 2014: I think you're creating a fantasy around him that's closing your mind to other guys. You say you broke up because you hurt each other too much, but why are you so sure he's changed? I had good relationships in my early 20's, and the girls who hurts ... (read in full...)
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