A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello, I'm in my 20s and not really had that much experience with guys and have slept with only 3 men.Anyway ive been on-off, seeing this guy who the other week said he sees me as a good friend. He's 10 years older then me. Anyways, we first met, last yr. Fell out and since Jan, have started talking againHe has said that he was seeing other girls, but have never believed him as i have been sleeping with him along with other foreplay things. But Sunday just gone, I saw him in his car with a blonde girl, I know he has a sister, but having other thoughts I picked him up yesterday and really wanted to say something but couldnt bring myself round to doing it Please help me in what i can say to him i would love to me friends with him, but nothing else and just dont want to lose that friendship
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female
reader, sunnycomet  +, writes (11 May 2010):
 "He has said that he was seeing other girls, but have never believed him as i have been sleeping with him along with other foreplay things."
He IS seeing other girls. Just because you have been fooling around with him does not mean you are in a relationship. Right now I am guessing you are friends with benefits. I am also guessing he has a lot of friends with benefits.
My advice is to stop. Either you be just friends or ask him to be in a relationship. As for the girl in the car, she could be his sister or one of his sex buddies. I suggest you ask him.
Good Luck!
Oh, and one more thing....do you really want to be with someone who sleeps around with alot of women? I would be worried over how loyal he would be in a relationship....Perhaps it would be better to move on.
A
female
reader, Brooklyngirl  +, writes (11 May 2010):
 If you truly want only friendship with him, why are you having difficulty asking a simple question?
If it was one of your female friends you saw in a car with an unfamiliar male...you wouldn't have a problem asking her who he was, would you?
Just ask him! (unless you are afraid of the answer)
I sense that you would really like more than just friendship...but are willing to settle for it...hoping that it will eventually lead to more. Correct me if I'm wrong.
Years, ago, I had a male friend who I hoped would become more...it never did. And eventually we lost touch. I understand that feeling of settling for friendship!
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A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (11 May 2010):
 Ok sorry but this doesnt make sense! One minute you are wanting to know who the blonde was in his car, the next you ssay you just want to be friends? Well if you are friends and want nothing more from him then why do you care? Unless you want to date him and have a serious relationship with him then really it is none of your business who he is in a car with!
So you need to decide once and for all - do you like him more than as a friend and want to have a relationship with him? Or are you happy with just being friends whohave sex?
If it is the first scenario and you want to have a relationship then maybe you should tell him how you feel before you start asking him questions about who he was in the car with. Then maybe casually just ask him about the girl - mention you saw him in the car on sunday, and say something like "oh I saw you in your car on Sunday, the blonde you were sat next to is very pretty" or something like that.
But if you do only just want friendship then dont mention it - you have no reason to care and if he is seeing other girls then good for him. At his age he will be thinking about settling down so he needs to get out there and find a woman he can be serious about, hence he needs to be dating other girls!
I hope this helps and good luck!
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