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*rokenv

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Do I tell my son she's cheating?

Q.   My son's wife is cheating on him. Both she and my son are 29 and have been together for just over 9 years. I received an e-mail about 4 years ago from someone who has sent me evidence that she has been cheating on him for the past 5 or 6 years w...

A.   29 October 2017: As a mom I would want to protect my child too. I believe that all partners know when they are being cheated on. I believe your son knows. But it would change for me if I knew they were trying to have a baby together. That's when a third vu... (read in full...)

Why have I started despising my married lover?

Q.   Is it normal for the other woman to start hating or resenting the married man she's been seeing for a while? How does it go from him being able to do no wrong to thinking less of him over time? So, from love to hate? Seems like such a drop in her f...

A.   29 October 2017: Maybe caused he's married.....has a family with his WIFE... Because you will always be second...your really only for sex. Those are what popped into my head. Let him go. Be good to yourself. Love you before you start hating you.... (read in full...)

I don't entirely trust their friendship

Q.   I have been seeing a guy for a few weeks. I really like him but I am not sure about his best friend who is female. She is bipolar and seems to rely on him a lot as her husband is not a great communicator. They have known each other 20 years and he ...

A.   22 November 2015: I have a couple of male friends that I have a close relationship with. They have been there for me when I needed them most. I wouldn't trade them in for the world or another man who "thinks" something is going on. Good Luck ... (read in full...)

Is he too young for me?? 33 versus 25

Q.   After seeing the previous question posted about ages, it made me want to ask my own. I am 33 and fallen in love with a guy who is getting ready to turn 25. I've never had a thing for younger guys but he's absolutely amazing. He's everythi...

A.   10 June 2015: It's just a number. Go for it! Love is hard to find and even more hard to keep.... (read in full...)

Exhausted from the rollercoaster of emotions. How can I get the strength to leave my boyfriend?

Q.   I need to break up with my boyfriend but I can't bring myself to do it. We've been together for years but I'm miserable. He often neglects me and I'm constantly feeling nervous, angry, paranoid and so many other negative emotions. We broke up once ...

A.   5 March 2015: I'm reading how you feel and I feel miserable for you. You need to get the support to leave him. You need to contact you local Mental health care provider or speak with your family doctor. They can offer you some suggestions of who to speak wi... (read in full...)

My girlfriend won't let go of her old FWBs and it's very hurtful. Do I need to let her go?

Q.   I'm in a relationship with this girl, its been almost 6 years together, she's lied to me about serious stuff like old " f and @k buddies" she so claims them to be.. Which are dudes.. Our relationship there's no sex I'm lucky if I get any twice a ...

A.   25 January 2015: Yikes! Have respect for yourself. Move on. Find a love that is going to appreciate what you have to offer them. Good luck!... (read in full...)

I feel like I might be doing something wrong but I'm not sure. I need perspective.

Q.   Two weekends ago my buddy and I were out at bar having drinks, we are both police officers and were off duty at he time, when we decided to leave we took a short cut around back and saw two guys trying get a very drunk young girl in their car she ...

A.   25 January 2015: You did a great thing! You saved her. As for dating her, only you can make that decision. I think you know what you need to do. You are both legal and you can date this girl if you want. I just can't see this being a long term relationshi... (read in full...)

I'm pregnant and the father wants a termination.

Q.   Im pregnant. When I found out my instinct was to become a mother not to have an abortion. The father wants nothing to do with a baby right now because he wants to move and continue to find himself as he will be 25 in May. He’s called me selfish, ...

A.   25 January 2015: Having a child is hard. Doing it on your own is hard. But this child is a gift. I'm sorry but no child is an accident. They are meant to be here. Good Luck with YOUR decision.... (read in full...)

Am I wrong for wanting my nineteen yr.old son to move out and get his own apartment?

Q.   Dear Cupid,I have a three bedroom apt.my mom,son and I live there its roomy for us .But my son has a problem with helping with house hold chores.He works and goes to school but in between time he doesn't take trash out wash dishes or anything to ...

A.   17 January 2015: I think asking your son to leave out of frustrating is wrong. Your son is going to school and working a minimum wage job to have cash in his pockets. I would be very happy with the above. A lot of kids today are not doing both so you have obl... (read in full...)

My ex girlfriend's new guy snooped on her facebook and found our hookup messages.

Q.   SOOOOOO here's the thing. Roughly 6 months ago my gf and I broke up. we had been together for 3 years and best friends for years before. We had just been fighting for a few months because the struggles of life (bills school etc) had gotten to us. ...

A.   4 January 2015: You have to tell her that you love her. You will regret it for the rest of your life if you don't. If she walks away from you than you know it was not meant to be. She is too young to be getting married anyone. Her decision to of having a... (read in full...)

She left me at Christmas

Q.   So my girlfriend and I have been off and on the past year. Everything seemed alright she had been staying at my house for the past week. She got a DUI and has been worried, Christmas time makes her depressed. Any way I woke up at 5 am and she was ...

A.   28 December 2014: Be an adult. Collect her belongings and store them somewhere. This is pretty fresh and I understand your hurt but being a gentleman goes a long way. Do not contact her. Let her return on her own. Tell her that you are done with this relation... (read in full...)

My little sister is dating a much older man and lying about it, and I'm worried he's taking advantage of her! Do I tell our parents?

Q.   Hi. My sister is 21 and yesterday told me she is in a relationship with a 40 year old man. This is her first ever relationship and they have been together 6 months. She says they are getting 'serious' however she has not and is not planning to tell ...

A.   23 December 2014: I can tell by your statement that you love your sister. But you must keep in check that your sister is an adult and she has a right to see who she likes/loves. If your sister was being abused sexual or physically, then yes, speak to someone ... (read in full...)

Building confidence when I can't find any redeeming features about myself

Q.   I was forced to do two extra years of high school, I had to retake some of my final high school exams and I still did poorly. I entered a weak college but I flunked out and failed many classes, at the moment I'll be graduating in 2017 despite having ...

A.   23 December 2014: WOW! I think you are being pretty hard on yourself. You need to look at things more positively. Start thinking like a winner! Your appearance is somewhat in your control. I suggest eating a healthier diet and attending a gym on a regular bas... (read in full...)

I cant have sex with my g/f after knowing she had sex with another man

Q.   What should I.Do I can't enjoy sex with girlfriend after finding out she had sex with another man while a one mouth split. I.Just keep seeing him with her while having sex....

A.   21 December 2014: First you were split.....you were free to do want (or who) you want. I'm not trying to be harsh but this is your issue you need to over come. You need to decide whether your relationship is over or you look forward to a future together... (read in full...)

Is my mother cheating on my father?

Q.   I have known for a while that my mother talks regularly to another man, other than my father, and although I don't like it I've found that it's only ever been friendly. However, I recently found out that my mother has been talking to this same man ...

A.   20 December 2014: You are caught....I feel for you. Do you think your dad doesn't know? I'm going to say that he does. I would first speak to your mom. I know this is hard but you need to understand what is going on. I'm not agreeing with your mom but may... (read in full...)

Am I just being a paranoid wife or is there something going on?

Q.   Okay I have been married for ten years to a military member. Moved around many times and recently moved to California 5 months ago. I am a stay at home mom for my autistic daughter and have had a hard time finding work due to limited schedule. My ...

A.   13 December 2014: I'm sorry to say this but you already know and don't want to say it yourself. He is cheating on you with his co worker. You are turning a blind eye to it. You need to make a decision that this is ok that he is doing this or tell him he needs to... (read in full...)

Is it normal to be sexually attracted to your cousin?

Q.   I've been attracted to my cousin for as long as I can remember. She is the only female cousin I know of, and on my mother's side of the family, she is the only girl. At least in my generation. I didn't think nothing of it when I was younger because ...

A.   4 December 2014: You really don't have a close cousin relationship. So I think your feelings are valid for a young guy seeing a beautiful girl. ... (read in full...)

What word choice can I use while talking to my son about his father without really saying what my heart should say?

Q.   Dear Cupid, I need some advice on my son's relationship with his father this man has never ever been in his life now that he is grown he still dont have much of a relationship with his son.How do I bring up the conversation with my son about his ...

A.   23 November 2014: Why are you worrying about something you can't control? As a mother I know what you are saying. Your focus should be on your son and his needs. I'm sure your son would love for his father to be in his life. But he isn't. Cherish the ones tha... (read in full...)

I have the hots for the amazingly hot baby sitter

Q.   I have an amazingly hot baby sitter, she is new to my family, just me and my daughter, but I have known her sister for while now. How do I find out if she has any interest? I wont lie I would love to see her in more ways than just my baby sitter. I ...

A.   15 November 2014: Wow! That is weird. Your 34 and she is 18. She is taking care of your child and is responsible for your child. If you are just interested in sleeping with her, I say get over it or find a new babysitter. Your going to cause a problem ... (read in full...)

How do I continue with this relationship with my married boyfriend when I have periods of doubt creeping in around his ability to be faithful to me?

Q.   Hello DC Friends. I could use your advice. Not judgement or answers which predict future behaviour and outcome. None of us knows what will happen with certainty. And let us remember that not every man is the same nor is what they do nor is every ...

A.   15 November 2014: I get it, you love him. I'm not going to say stay or go. But your question is kinda' silly. Let's switch this for a minute. You and he are together sexually and mentally... don't you think he is with his wife the same way? Is that not ... (read in full...)

Do I believe him or not? My older married lover says he'll leave his wife when I finish college.

Q.   My older, married lover tells me he will eventually leave his wife once I finish college. He has brought up the idea of having a baby together recently. Does this mean he is serious about our relationship and would having his baby be a good choice? ...

A.   15 November 2014: I'm not going to tell you to leave this man BUT do NOT have a baby with him. If you had this baby with him, YOU will be raising it alone! He will NOT leave his wife for you. You are an interest to him but nothing more. He doesn't love you. ... (read in full...)

Why would my mother say that?

Q.   My mother was casually complaining about my older brother's bad behaviour while sweeping in the living room. Suddenly, she said. "That's why I can't love my children more than I love myself." in an annoyed tone. Without giving any details about my...

A.   9 November 2014: Your mom didn't mean it. How many times have you said something to reflect back and know that is not what you meant. Your mom loves you. I don't doubt that. Don't get me wrong she should never have said that. If that statement really b... (read in full...)

He's never said he loves me -- does he?

Q.   My boyfriend is married and said to me that i am more than just fun to him and that if he was not married that we would be a couple and has told me that he would not know what to do if i was not in his life, my sister told me to get rid of him as ...

A.   3 November 2014: I was in affair for 3 years. I am married, he was not. I haven't seen him for 3 years. I still love him. He is my true love. I have many reasons why I didn't leave to be with him. He is in my thoughts and my dreams every moment of the day and ... (read in full...)

Turns out that my mother is a prostitute and everyone at University and school knows. Should I move away?

Q.   Turns out that my mother is a prostitute and everyone in school and my university knows. OMG!!!!!!!! what can i do? should i move? i cant believe this, i cant even go out! my life sucks, hope no one other than me ever has to experience this. Every...

A.   19 October 2014: Do you love your mom? Is she the one supporting you all these years? I wouldn't care what someone said about my mom or her profession. All I would understand is that woman loves me, she provided me with a good home, she did all she could for ... (read in full...)

It was an awkward first kiss, but does that make me an a pathetic 24 year old loser? What can I do?

Q.   So I just got home from a sort of first date with a guy. We hung out at my house last weekend just to break the ice so I cooked lunch for us nothing major. Tonight we went out for drinks and when it was time to drop me off we were just chattin...

A.   19 October 2014: It was only your first date. Kissing in the car is awkward. Write him off. He doesn't sound very kind. Sounds like if things are not the way he wants it he will always be disappointed. Do you have a male friend? A friend to have a "pract... (read in full...)

Why does my significant other prefer to hang out with her girlfriends instead of me?

Q.   I have been seeing this woman for several years now, and I wonder if anyone can shed some light on this matter. What would make a woman hint at making plans with you on a Friday night only to tell you that day that she's going to hang out with her...

A.   19 October 2014: Maybe she doesn't realize how you are feeling. Tell her. Maybe she isn't as completed to this relationship as you are. What you are saying her about her actions are disrespectable. She should be told that. I also wouldn't make myself s... (read in full...)

Why is my SO using It's Complicated as his FB status?

Q.   I have been involved with a man for a year and a half. We stay at each other's place a lot. We are in a loving relationship. This is embarrassing to admit, because we are both in our forties, but his Facebook status bothers me. He leaves i...

A.   19 October 2014: I think to many people put too much into FB. No one needs to know anything about your status unless they are close family, friends and loved ones. When you are at any gatherings/functions how does he introduce you? That to me is way more imp... (read in full...)

I need to smoke weed for medicinal purposes but my boyfriend doesn't like this!

Q.   I have a problem because i fell in love with a guy who thinks weed is bad and i need to smoke because i have nervous problems and severe depression and fibromyalgia pain all over my body. and when i smoke weed i dont feel sick or nervous i can eat ...

A.   19 October 2014: Take your boyfriend to your next doctor's appointment. Maybe a professional can explain it to him. He may understand it better. ... (read in full...)

Do I Tell my boyfriend he might not be the dad?

Q.   Ok so ive been with my boyfriend for about 18 months now. I love him so much, he treats me like im the only girl in the world and doesnt care that i have a baby from a past relationship, he loves my little boy just as much as me. But 8 months b...

A.   14 October 2014: If you love your boyfriend like you say you do...tell him the truth. If the baby is not his he needs to know and for the baby's sake he/she needs to know. You don't want the guy you cheated with telling someone you love and who has loved yo... (read in full...)

Yet another Christmas all alone. What do I do?

Q.   It looks like I am spending Christmas on my own this year as I am single, childless still since my divorce - so its just me and my dog! In the past I had Christmas's ruined by my ex husband and his family so now I am divorced I don't have that drama ...

A.   15 September 2014: Why don't you invite other single friends over and have everyone prepare something to share for the day. You could volunteer at a local soup kitchen. You can volunteer at a local hospital for the day. There are lots of good charities out ther... (read in full...)

Do I break up with him or tell him the truth about the affair I had with his father and ruin things for his family?

Q.   Ok so before you read this I know what I did was wrong and deeply regret it and it's all a big mess. Four years ago I was in a really bad place. I had fallen out with my parents and moved out of home in to a grotty flat which I had to work 3 jobs...

A.   8 September 2014: Do not tell anyone.....you have to ask yourself what will you get out of this? What will everyone else get out of it? It was 4 years ago. That is in the past. Move forward and don't look back. You were young. We all make mistakes. Don't le... (read in full...)

Ex girlfriend says she needs time

Q.   I still love my ex girlfriend and tried to get her back, but it turned out she was seeing someone new. That's ended, but she won't see me. She said she's too confused and needs time to think. What does too confused mean? Does this mean she ...

A.   5 September 2014: How long has she been broken up? How long were you separated? What was the reason you guys called it quits? I agree with Honeypie on "there is a reason you broke up". Why would any one what to go and do THAT over AGAIN. Leave her alo... (read in full...)

Is there any deeper meaning to his visits?

Q.   Very confused, I've been off sick from work for a while now.. My marriage Has broke up.. We were married for 22 years to cut along Story short.. My HR, manager came to visit me at my Home to see when I would be returning yo work.. But my boss ...

A.   4 September 2014: No....he is just making sure his employee is able to return to duty and ensure that you are going to represent his company well. That is what he is legally responsible for. Take care of yourself!... (read in full...)

Should I warn my assistant that the man she's chatty with almost had an affair with me and is married? Or is it best for me to stay away and let this happen?

Q.   A while ago I got chatting to a guy I work with and we got close very quickly. We both had a crush on each other and both wanted more, well I did anyway. He made me send him photos, chatted about sex a lot and I did really like him. He knew I liked ...

A.   4 September 2014: I think you should just stay away from the whole situation. I'm sorry this a--hole messed with your head. Good Luck!... (read in full...)

Is she playing games?

Q.   A young woman hired me to look at problems in her home and while I was out to fix them she was nice and even flirty, I thought this girl may even have a thing for me but out of the blue she went to my manager who insisted to come out with me on ...

A.   4 September 2014: Really who cares. Just ignore her and go on your daily business. Don't get yourself into trouble over this girl. She sounds like trouble to me. Games or no games.....not worth it! ... (read in full...)

He tells me he's looking for a divorce, but ...

Q.   Hi I've been seeing my ex boyfriend behind his wife's back for almost a year now. I was very much in love with him at one time. He dumped me and got married. We were together 13 years. He comes to my home and is very comfortable. He told me he was ...

A.   4 September 2014: Ohhhh I feel for your broken heart. You need to find your inner strength and move on. You can do it! It is within you. Find someone who loves you for all our greatness and your silly faults.... (read in full...)

Any insight on adoption?

Q.   Has anyone ever put a baby up for adoption or is there anyone on here that is adopted? A family friend of my bf's asked us if we would be interested in having an open adoption. That way we could still be part of the baby's life. I'm just not sur...

A.   4 September 2014: Wow! I feel for you. You are in a tough position. You are the only one that can wake up in the morning and say I'm happy with my decision. I wish you good luck Sweetie. God Bless you for giving up your baby to a family who is willing to consi... (read in full...)

What does he think now that he's seen that I'm really not skinny?

Q.   Ok, so bare with me on this. I'm 24 and I have a "sex friend". We have been seeing each other for just over a year now, but I'm not a skinny girl, and you can see I'm not skinny. I'm a curvy 16 and I've never gotten completely naked with him. I've ...

A.   4 September 2014: You stated that he took a good look and carried on. So it liked what he saw. I don't care how much clothes you wear when you are in bed or out. If you are a big girl, you are a big girl. By the way, size 16 and curvy is what a lot of me... (read in full...)

How odd is it that her pets are "brothers"?

Q.   I've known this girl Aimée for about 3 months. Met her at work and she's really nice, seems genuine, she's not judgemental or anything like that. She seems like she'd be a good friend. Here's the catch though, we were talking about our families and ...

A.   4 September 2014: That is weird.....it is cute at like the age of 5! not 26! ... (read in full...)

Do I owe it to my ex to give it another try?

Q.   I broke up with my bf of four years about five months ago. We had a volatile relationship on both ends and even though I loved him, I was glad it was over. I felt free again. I started dating someone new about six weeks ago and we get on really...

A.   4 September 2014: Remember you broke up for a reason. You said yourself this relationship is volatile. You need to cut all ties with him. You have moved on and you yourself stated you are in a happier place. You going back would be at a moment of weakness... (read in full...)

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