I'm finding it very hard to cope with my marriage ending and need advice from others who had to start over following a divorce
Q. I'm starting over at the age of 25. I had everything. A husband, a house, planning for children. We are getting a divorce after only a year and a half of marriage. I feel embarrassed it was so short. I feel terrified of starting over. I feel old ...
A. 20 July 2014: So happy for you!... (read in full...)
Am I doing the right thing for my son?
Q. I got pregnant with my son at 18 by a guy who told me I was a whore and the baby wasn't his. He was my first. He didn't talk to me for four months after that. Then he decided to contact me at which point he basically used me for money and rides when ...
A. 18 August 2013: As a mother we have to do things we believe are right. You are doing the right thing. Do not second guess yourself. Move forward and don't look back.
Be prepared to have to answers when that family comes a calling to inform your son that you... (read in full...)
She poured her heart out in an email to me then started dating someone else
Q. Hello, Has any girl reading this settled for 2nd best? Shortly after meeting someone and going on a few dates I had to move 120 miles away. She sent me a very lengthy email explaining all the things she liked about me but she finds it so hard and...
A. 18 August 2013: I'm sorry to hear you think your second best. I think you are pretty amazing.
I also think this girl is not for you. She made a decision out of convenience not because of feelings. I think she picked this guy 'cause he's has been around. ... (read in full...)
My daughter was cheating on her fiance with her best friend's father. How do I contain this situation?
Q. My 27 yr old daughter has recently admitted to me she's been cheating on her fiance with her best friend's dad, and she's thinking about ditching her fiance and marrying her best friend's dad. She admitted she was discreet about the affair. I am...
A. 18 August 2013: I'm sorry you are in this situation. But Mother, your daughter is 27 years old. She is an adult making decisions of her own....poor decisions on her own. She has created this situation. Not you. I realize as a parent we want our kids to do their ... (read in full...)
Do I just leave it and hope he texts me back?
Q. My past relationship was 8 years, we've only been broken up 3 months but i started seeing someone new a few backs. Its been amazing so far. We have amazing chemistry, the best sex ever and get along so well. However i think hes losing interest ...
A. 17 August 2013: You yourself a favour.....be alone for awhile. Let this guy go. He is not interested. Sex is an important part of a relationship but it is not all.
... (read in full...)
I want my needs met, even if he can't do it
Q. My boyfriend and I have been ttogether for ten months. Ii love him but we haver never had intercourse yet. He cant maintain an erection. He does other things but its not cutting it anymore! I need the feeling that only a penis can provide. I have ...
A. 17 August 2013: I'm sure he is a great guy. But you are not in a satisfying relationship. Your ship has sailed. Tell him he is great but you need more. He needs to get professional help. If you decide to get your "needs" meet, he will become resentful and angry ... (read in full...)
I lied about being pregnant, how do I fix this with him?
Q. I was with a man for a year and he left mefor an ex. The ex did not want him, she just did not want him with anyone else. That fact is confirmed. She said I had to be completely gone. So i did something i am not very proud of, so please do not put ...
A. 17 August 2013: Wow!! That is huge! What you did is like a silly teenage girl. I understand you where having a tough time but that is not an excuse for a woman who states she is intelligent.
But in saying the above. You took ownership for your lies and apol... (read in full...)
Can a man who is willing to cheat on his wife ever be faithful?
Q. Please help me. I have been married for 12 years. I love my husband like a dear friend, but I have never been in love with him. We have been to counseling and I have even told him that when we married I was in a bad place and I am not sure I ...
A. 17 August 2013: I have known a couple of people who have cheated and married "that one". Out of all of those marriages, one has survived.....barely, she cheated and he accepted her back. Not sure this will last.
Anyway, leaving for another person is the wron... (read in full...)
My girlfriend has been ignoring my messages, I feel like she is seeing someone else
Q. So I want to keep this short because most people wont read it if its really long. My girlfriend has been short with me this week and distant she doesn't send me cute good morning texts and goodnight which makes me lead to the decision that she is ...
A. 17 August 2013: I think you are jumping the gun here. Maybe your girlfriend is stressing about work? family matters? friend in trouble? not feeling herself? Maybe she just can't speak with you about it right now.
Communication is the key to a successf... (read in full...)
Fallen out with a friend due to her involvement with this man!
Q. I have been friends with my friend for about 12 years. We went to University together. We don't see each other often as we live quite far away but we talk a lot on the phone. Sometimes a couple times a day. She was with a guy for 5 years. She nev...
A. 17 August 2013: I have two best girlfriends. I have had some struggles over the past couple of years....and I'm sure I have drained them. They have never left my side. I'm so grateful for them. They have been my rock. They have love and cared for me. Even ... (read in full...)
She wants space, how should I approach this?
Q. My girlfriend and I have been dating for almost 2 years. We both loved each other endlessly from almost the very beginning. For me, she is the love that I have searching for my whole life and from letters and notes from her I am her one and only. S...
A. 17 August 2013: You sound like a sweetheart of a boyfriend.
If sounds like your girlfriend is dealing with a lot of unresolved issues. None that you have caused. She sounds like she is starting to deal with them. She may even be interested in someone new. So... (read in full...)
I can't afford sleepless nights because my flat mate won't get help for his problems!
Q. I have a flatmate (or roommate) who is essentially slowly but surely loosing the plot. I've been living in my flat for around 5 months? I'd been flat hunting for around a month at this time it got offered to me and it seemed cool (piano, record ...
A. 13 August 2013: It sounds like your friend does have mental health issues. He is on medications and is not taking it is another sign of mental health issues among the numerous other issues you have stated. You sound like a caring and loving friend. But frie... (read in full...)
He's been seeing a male prostitute for friendship?
Q. I'm 36, and my husband's 40, we have a 15-year-old daughter. He admitted last night that he'd been going to a male prostitutes to "talk" and have a few beers, and even gave me his mobile number! My husband also said no sex was involved and tha...
A. 9 August 2013: I would be worried. That is an odd relationship. This is odd behaviour. I wouldn't be comfortable with it at all. Your husband paying for friendship with prositutes.
The prostitute you were talking may not of had sex with your husband but your... (read in full...)
He gave me the reasons to go and snoop!
Q. My boyfriend is very close friends with his ex, he says she has been very good to him when he had problems, although she has since married, then divorced with a kid she is trying to make things work with her husband and is visiting him in the ...
A. 9 August 2013: I think you need to look at the proof you have read and your conversation with him. I don't have a problem with the age difference. If you love someone that is all that matters. I would question if he truly loves me. I, like you, don't have a ... (read in full...)
Am I asking for trouble by dating my ex's uncle?
Q. I am dating my kids daddy's Uncle! and he doesn't want hie Family to know yet he say's! Am I being played / because sometimes I hear from him and sometimes I don't!...
A. 9 August 2013: We need more information then you are stating. You sometimes hear from him is not enough for me to say yes or no.
You need to ask yourself if this is a relationship worth pursuing. Is he the kind of guy that will love you and his great nieces o... (read in full...)
I'm finding it very hard to cope with my marriage ending and need advice from others who had to start over following a divorce
Q. I'm starting over at the age of 25. I had everything. A husband, a house, planning for children. We are getting a divorce after only a year and a half of marriage. I feel embarrassed it was so short. I feel terrified of starting over. I feel old ...
A. 9 August 2013: I'm sorry you are going through a divorce. Starting anything new and going it alone is scary. The first year of divorce is hard. It is a lot of first and not knowing what to do with yourself.
What about support from family? Friends? How abou... (read in full...)
My girlfriend is making a big issue about the amount of time I spend at the gym
Q. My question is fairly straight forward. Is my gym time too much and can it hinder the relationship I am in? I have been in a relationship for one year with a great girlfriend. We do lots of things together on a weekly basis and really enjoy eac...
A. 8 August 2013: I don't think 10 hours a week in the gym is a lot. I spend about 6-8 hours a week myself. I need it for my mental and physical health. It makes me a better person.
If this was an activity that you just started to dob I would be suspicio... (read in full...)
Cheated on my boyfriend last night and feel so guilty! Should I tell him?
Q. I went out last night and got really drunk. A guy grabbed me and started kissing me and feeling me up and without thinking I started kissing him back. Then he said he would help to get me home safely but he got out the taxi too and we ended up ...
A. 8 August 2013: I get it, you love your boyfriend and you made a mistake. Is this a mistake you are going to repeat? Only you can answer that. What is the reason to tell him, to relieve your guilt? I tell you know DO NOT TELL HIM. It will make your ... (read in full...)
I cheated on my boyfriend and told him, when I suggested splitting up he cried and begged me to stay, but the thing is I am much more attracted to the other guy than to my boyfriend
Q. Guys, I need help, I think I'm going mad. I've been in this relationship now for around 9 years. We love each other, but many a time during the first few years I slipped and cheated on my excellent boyfriend. I told him and we managed to work ...
A. 8 August 2013: Wow!! Your boyfriend is a very sweet man. You clearly need to leave him. You do not care for him. If you did you wouldn't be doing this. I also want to state that "amazing sex" doesn't mean love and a relationship. I wish you good luck... (read in full...)
Is reconciliation possible after three years?
Q. Is three years apart too much to consider a reconciliation? My girlfriend broke up with me on more or less friendly terms three years ago. She wanted to remain friends but I felt total separation was all I could handle. I've since had other ...
A. 6 August 2013: There have been sweet reports of people getting back together after 3yrs, 10yrs, even 20 years.
For whatever reason people fall apart. It was just not meant to be......at that time. I honestly believe that if you truly love someone and it i... (read in full...)
I stole something from work and I don't know how to cope with the guilt
Q. Why did I steal I feel awful!! I can't stop crying:(? OMG!! I feel awful.. Words can't even describe how I feel:( Yesterday I was tidying up the stock room at work and there were these pair of sunglasses that I liked and I took them. I ...
A. 5 August 2013: I'm not going to say a bad thing about what you did. I think you are taking care of that yourself. Lessons learned are always good thing.
You have the sunglasses so when you return to work place them with a note on them saying you found them in ... (read in full...)
My friend wasn't there for me. We've since made up but now I find out he is planning to spend my birthday on the other side of the country. Do I bother with him?
Q. Hey there Cupids So basically an old friend and I have just started talking again after 2 months. To cut a long story short, I was going through some hard stuff and he was not there as a friend. He got in contact with me and wanted us to start ag...
A. 3 August 2013: Every birthday is important but I think you are being a big, no huge baby. If I was your friend I would cut you out of my life. Your needs seem to be way more important then what is going on in his life.
I think you need to grow up and start su... (read in full...)
My ex will not allow his children to see me and I know how much it is hurting them
Q. Hi... Just a question I wanted to ask as I am so so angry and need clarity! I have broke up with my fella of 2 years, he took me for granted, used me as a money bank etc etc. I was unhappy for months and told him but he never tried... He ...
A. 3 August 2013: He is an A$$! Do not have ANY contact with him. He is abusing you and his kids with what he is doing.
Kids are resilient. They move on much quicker than us adults. With you not having contact with him he will learn that he can't use all of y... (read in full...)
I ended the relationship because she wasn't ready to have sex, now I feel that I was an idiot.
Q. I broke up with my girlfriend about a month ago. The reason for it was that she was a virgin and did not feel ready for sex. At first I did not think this was a problem but after four months I was starting to get frustrated, although I did not show ...
A. 2 August 2013: I agree sex is an important part of a relationship. There is nothing like intimacy. Intimacy is more than sex. It is a deep relationship of understanding one and other. It starts with the mind. The affection of loving someone with your whole ... (read in full...)
He's tried to do the right thing but doesn't want her to be hurt more than necessary
Q. 4 years ago when I was 18 I met this guy when we started working together, he was 26 at the time. Our job requires us to work away from home; so we spent quite a lot of time together and became close straight away even though he was in a ...
A. 1 August 2013: You are going to have a broken heart over and over. You need to stop your relationship with this guy. He is never going to leave the mother of his child. You are kidding yourself! I feel for you but you are assisting him in his excuses of why ... (read in full...)
I saw my ex at an event, we didn't speak but he looked emotional and left straight afterwards. Why would he do this?
Q. I saw my ex at a recent event. I have not seen him since he broke up with me more than a year ago. I was trembling inside and my knees felt weak when I saw him. He had this emotional look on his face when he saw me. I ignored him and walked ...
A. 1 August 2013: You have to remember you broke up for a reason. You may always care for him and have unresolved issues. He has moved on and so must you. I think it was okay to walk away. He didn't try and talk with you.
My thoughts are, he left cause he wants... (read in full...)
I'm going abroad for a job, shouls I let him know how I feel for him? I've only met him once but I just know he's specialw
Q. I'm leaving in a month for a job abroad. Should I just tell him how i feel. I took him into consideration but I just feel like I need to move on. He hasn't made a move, we only met once, but I just know what I like. I know what I want and it ...
A. 1 August 2013: I think you should tell him you would be interested in persuing a realtionship upon your return. What I mean by relationship is a friendship. You have only been out with him once so I think you need to be realistic. You are also going away for a ... (read in full...)
My face is attractive but I'm quite flabby and I'm worried girls would be put off
Q. My question is the type usually asked by females, who are generally more unsecure about their bodies. Looking on the internet, it seems from the blogs discussing the male body part that females find attractive, it seems that the great majority o...
A. 1 August 2013: Beauty is in the eye of holder....I think that is the saying. Or something close to it! Don't decide what a girl does and doesn't like about you. You have to give her a chance.
I work out and I enjoy life. It is more important for your bod... (read in full...)
What did her text mean? Was it good? Or not so good?
Q. Hello I,m a 52 year old man , and I,ve just been on a first date with a woman. we had lunch, and at the end of the date, I said can I text or call you and she said yes, but a few hours later, before I texted her to thank her ...
A. 1 August 2013: At your age your too old to play games. She is interested.
Text her back and ask her out. That is the only way you are ever going to know!
Have fun!... (read in full...)
I've been burned before and I'm worried it will happen again with this guy who lives in another country.
Q. I met a guy a few months ago at a music event. He was the producer of the event, but I didn't know this until much later. I just saw him there and was immediately drawn to him. After the event was over I went up and introduced myself and had a chat ...
A. 30 July 2013: I think you should go. I think you will have a great adventure. But I also think you should NOt have SEX!
You need to make arrangements to stay somewhere on your own. Hotel? You need to set boundaries. You need to be honest with him and up f... (read in full...)
My ex cheated on me and dumped me, he is now in a relationship and I am alone. How can I get over our break-up?
Q. My ex boyfriend cheated on at Christmas time, lied about it, dumped me when I found out, still denied it afterwards but I have since found out that he is still with the girl he cheated on me with. I so angry that I was the one treated like crap but...
A. 30 July 2013: I'm sorry your ex-boyfriend disrespected you on so many levels. He is not worth your time let alone your anger. Anger takes a lot out of a persons energy level. You have to let it go. Move on.
Do not waste your time thinking about someone ... (read in full...)
After a night of passion he told me he isn't looking for a relationship but wants to continue meeting up for sex. I was embarrassed and hurt so I liead and said I wanted the same thing but I don't.
Q. I had a night of passion with a regular in the bar where i work. He is very nice and i really liked him. Then i met him again twice more. Im so embarassed because he said to me this morning that he hopes i dont expect anyting from him as he doesnt ...
A. 30 July 2013: Don't do it! You are forcing yourself to do an "act" that you are not comfortable with. That is foolish. That is embarrassing!
Just tell him you are not into that. You made a mistake when you agreed. You will look better in his eyes but more... (read in full...)
Need Advice to get my best male friend back!!
Q. I need help, I'm confused and hurt! I'm a 29 year old female with two kids that just now file for a divorce, before our divorce I always call my childhood friend (married man now) for advice cause he's always good at that, he's the type of friend y...
A. 28 July 2013: If you truly love and respect your male friend and he has requested you to have no more contact with him.....then do that!
You contacting him and his wife after that, it's simple, it's just plain wrong.
Leave him alone. If he comes back you a... (read in full...)
Update on alcoholic partner who can't choose between me and his ex
Q. Mod's note: this is the original post http://www.dearcupid.org/question/im-with-an-alcoholic-who-goes-back-and.html This is the person who has the alcoholic mate who goes back and forth between me and his ex. All the answers were very helpful...
A. 28 July 2013: You need to move on. An alcoholic needs to make a commitment to himself. I would give him the space to realize that he is having an unhealthy relationship with you and others.
I'm sorry you feel lonely but it is not up to him to make you feel... (read in full...)
We were close friends until I told him how I felt, now he has cut contact with me.
Q. Been close friends with this guy for over 3 years; friend, confidant, etc. He was widowed over 2 years ago, and in the past year, we became close as he was ill and i was helping out etc. Long story short, too much contact, too much sharing, I fell ...
A. 28 July 2013: DO NOT contact him in any way. He has asked you not to. It you respect this man in anyway you would do as he wishes.
... (read in full...)
Five dates and his profile's still active? Should I move on?
Q. I met this guy online on an online dating site. After writing to each other for two days, we decided to meet. I really like him and we went on our fifth date last weekend. It has been four weeks since we started meeting each other. He has ne...
A. 20 July 2013: I would ask him....I think it is important. Not sure he would be honest enough at this stage of the game. If I was at date 5 the person I was with would certainly hear about my kids. They are my life. I love to talk about them. But I think it ... (read in full...)
He finishes so fast, before it even starts to feel good for me!
Q. So me and my boyfriend have been having sex for about two months now. I get him ready and he gets me ready and every time we go to do it he always cums so fast before it even starts to feel good for me. It's happened about 5 times now and it's so ...
A. 18 July 2013: You need to slow the action down. I don't think you need to "prep" your boyfriend.....I think he is already there. Girls in general need more time. You guy is "immature" to understand what your needs are. You need to show him. I think he... (read in full...)
He couldn't get it up our first time together!
Q. I'm 31 and I went on my third date with a new guy (37) last night. We have known each other for about a month, but started dating just last week. The night went great and we had a lot of fun. We stayed up really late and he ended up spending the ...
A. 17 July 2013: It is not you....it is him. I hate to sound like a bi*ch but get rid of him. We are sexual and if he can't perform now he will never be able to preform. He needs to see a professional about his issue. Are you willing to do without sex for the ... (read in full...)
Three months and he didn't mention he has kids?
Q. Dear Cupid, My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 months. He is 28 and I am 25. The relationship moved really quickly and I absolutely fell in love with him and him with me. This past weekend, I found out that he has two children he neve...
A. 17 July 2013: I would be concerned about this guy. If he truly cared and wanted you to be apart of his life....seriously....he would of been honest up front.
For the ex to storm in and you had no idea that he had 2 kids and you were at his place. I would wo... (read in full...)
I don't love him any more but can't let him go
Q. i no longer love my boyfriend of 4 years but can't let him go. its driving me crazy as my life feels like its being wasted away before my very eyes. im 27 and fed up to the back teeth of my other half, he is disloyal, untrustworthy and does not res...
A. 17 July 2013: You have been honest with yourself. You stated the bad things about your boyfriend.....but more importantly you stated that you DON'T LOVE HIM.
I would be upset if my partner didn't love me and was sticking with me because they were lonely o... (read in full...)
Why do I care what my terrible ex does?
Q. my ex boyfriend was horrible and a complete psycho who.locked me in rooms and constantly accused me of cheating. He was mean and a little bit horrible about my children. I split up with him and I dont understand why I look at his facebook account, ...
A. 12 July 2013: You are not a freak....abused woman don't realize they are abused to much much later in life. Everyone does want you are doing in a break up.
He doesn't love this woman. He will do the same things to her as he did to you. Give it time. Y... (read in full...)
Can a married man love his wife and mistress at the same time?
Q. Can a married man love his wife and mistress at the same time?...
A. 12 July 2013: Gosh that is a hard answer.....but if he is married and with you, I think the only person is loves is himself right now.
... (read in full...)
Five dates and his profile's still active? Should I move on?
Q. I met this guy online on an online dating site. After writing to each other for two days, we decided to meet. I really like him and we went on our fifth date last weekend. It has been four weeks since we started meeting each other. He has ne...
A. 9 July 2013: Why did you remove your site? Did you think that you were dating and serious?
Put your site back up. You need to get out there with the rest of the fish. Yes, you may really like this guy but what if he doesn't feel the same. I would have con... (read in full...)
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