Dazed and confused ...girlfriend versus ex wife and children.
Q. I am not sure what to do... My girlfriend have been fighting a lot lately. I have an ex-wife and 2 children with her, we communicate on a semi-regular basis (my ex wife) about the kids, their grades, behavior or events. Sometime we have small ta...
A. 7 October 2013: Just because you and your ex wife are no longer together doesn't mean you can't be friends. I totally agree with you. You will see you ex in the future for a lot of things. Your daughters graduation, competitions, weddings, birth of your ... (read in full...)
I love him but I'm losing attachment to him. He breaks promises. So what next?
Q. I really do love and care for my boyfriend. However, I'm beginning to question his... Dedication. He is quite lazy when it comes to building our relationship. I'm always wanting to hang out and talk (he lives about 2 hrs away)... He'd rather s...
A. 7 October 2013: By the way you are writing about his lack of interest in you, have you every thought that he is losing that attachment for you? I think you are wasting your time. Stop being so available for him. Go out meet new people with the same interest as... (read in full...)
Just broke up and feeling like travelling by myself. Any ideas?
Q. My ex broke up with me 6 months ago. I found it so difficult to move on. I dont talk to my friends a lot about how i feel because i dont want them to hear me whine all the time. I dont want to tell my family about it either. Im always an independant ...
A. 6 October 2013: You don't have to travel alone. When I was younger my girlfriends weren't interested or didn't have the money to travel, so I joined a group. I had lots of people to travel with. If I wanted to do something on my own I did. If I wanted to go ... (read in full...)
My friend just became single again but wants to move. What should I do next?
Q. I have had feelings for a close friend for a number of years and we are both in our late 40's, I have not on my feelings as she was in a relationship with another friend, in May this year the split up after he had an affair, since then we have ...
A. 6 October 2013: I think it was really brave of you to write that letter. I don't think she is saying no. I think she is coming from a terrible relationship and wants nothing to do with another at this time Your friend needs time to heal and to find closure. She ... (read in full...)
Should I tell her that he's a cheater, or just leave their relationship alone?
Q. what would you do if you had a friend who married someone twice her age, got pregnant, had the baby, got married to the guy, got pregnant two months after the baby was born, and see that the guy has liked a page on his facebook called add me adult ...
A. 5 October 2013: I don't think you have enough proof to say he is cheating. You have told her that this relationship will not work before and she went ahead got married and had not one but two children with him. I had a conversation with my x friend re... (read in full...)
In love with my late husband's brother - is it wrong?
Q. Hi! This is going to be long, so please be patient! I'm a widow. My husband died suddenly four years ago leaving me with three children, then aged six, three and one. I was devastated and it took me a long time to come to terms with his death. H...
A. 5 October 2013: You are both mature adults. I don't see anything wrong with it. It is nobody else's business. I think your husband would not only want you and the kids to be happy but he would want his younger brother also to be happy.
Just take your tim... (read in full...)
What should I make of her very friendly actions?
Q. A female who I've hung out with a few times before, a few days ago grabbed and pulled my head into her breasts on a few separate occasions 10-15 mins apart during a sporting event. We cheered for different teams, each time her team scored, she would ...
A. 1 October 2013: My question is why did you let her continue with this behaviour? I'm friendly and flirty but I don't pull guys heads into my chest......unless I have an expectation this is going to the next level.
Why don't you ask her. I'm suspecting your bot... (read in full...)
Any advice on regaining some sort of power in a casual relationship?
Q. Hi, I find myself in a bad situation, the classic casual hook up turned messy. I am seeing a younger man casually (I didnt think there was a future in it because of the age difference) and now I am having the usual problems associated with ...
A. 30 September 2013: I'm sorry but to have power over someone means that this is not a caring, loving, and respectful relationship.
You sound like an intelligent lady. Move forward and be honest with yourself and your needs. This guy is looking at you for a booty ... (read in full...)
Do I ask her before I touch more intimately?
Q. Dear all, I am very inexperienced with women, although I do currently have a lovely girlfriend who I love and adore so very much. We've been intimate with touching each other, but I just had to ask how touch can be taken further? I massage my gir...
A. 23 September 2013: Sometimes a gal just wants the guy to "take her". Be confident in what you are doing and it will all fall into place.
If you do something that she doesn't like she will tell you or her body language will. Just be aware of what she is "telling... (read in full...)
How do I get my ex back? Or how do I move on? It's 70 days since our break-up
Q. Two months ago, The love of my life walked away because of my bad attitude. It's been about 70 days since I've seen or talked to him. How do I get him back? or How do I accept what has happened and move on? Its been a hard journey. All I d...
A. 18 September 2013: I know exactly what you are talking about. It has been almost a year and half and I still think of him a lot......not like I use to. It has been hard to move forward but I realize it was for the best. He is a better person without me and so am I. ... (read in full...)
Would it be reasonable for me to ask him to limit the picture of his ex to the kid's bedroom?
Q. Hi everyone. I would like to know how other people feel about their husbands displaying pictures of their ex-wives in their new home with their new partner? My boyfriend and I are moving in to a new place together next month. He currently displays ...
A. 18 September 2013: I'm sorry but your are moving into your partners home AND his child's home. Those pictures were placed there long before you came along. The child in this picture doesn't need the household totally disrupted to suit your needs. Don't you think it ... (read in full...)
Does FWB want more?
Q. Ok.. I'm hoping someone can help... I have a kind of fwb situation going on with a guy I work with. It was him who asked me about it, as we were both single and not looking for an intense relationship, as both of us had been hurt in the past. So ...
A. 15 September 2013: You are both grown adults. You both have been intimate with each other. Doesn't it make sense that you sit down and have a conversation like adults?
How can you complete an act such as sex and not have some sort of relationship or feelings... (read in full...)
Is he just looking for hookups?
Q. I have a question so I met a guy in a dating site three weeks ago we chatted through text for two days and have gone on three dates.. 1st date we went out to eat I picked the place and he paid then we went out for a few drinks near his house s...
A. 12 September 2013: Communication is the key. Tell him your expectations. Tell him what is important to you. Also tell him that you are not into a "hook up". You are looking for a lasting relationship.
Be Honest with him (and yourself). Maybe he will open up ... (read in full...)
My baby's dad threatened to make me miscarry, yet now his family wants to see my 5-year old son!
Q. Hi i have a son who is nearly 5 his dad never wanted him and has paid nothing towards him now his family are hassling me asking to see him he was awful with me and i had to get police onto him as he was threatening to make me miscarry do they have ...
A. 10 September 2013: Why don't you want the grandparents to see your son? Just because your ex is an ass doesn't mean his parents are. They are not responsible for the their son's actions or non actions. He is an adult who has made poor decisions. Why should you... (read in full...)
Did I break his trust by talking to a man during our break?
Q. hi, i want to ask ...that i was in relationship with a guy since 3 years. i listen to whateva he says be it whatever as im soo in love with him. he is very restrictive regarding whom to talk , where to go , what to wear etc . i initially had prob...
A. 8 September 2013: I'm going to say this loud and clear. This is an abusive relationship. This is what we call domestic assault.
Do not kid yourself. This is a very unhealthy relationship. You need to seek counselling.
Your boyfriend has major control issues. ... (read in full...)
His wife refused to exit the picture, I broke up with him but wonder if I did the right thing?
Q. Until recently I was in a relationship with a guy who is 11 year's older then me. He had been married before, but the relationship ended when his wife had an affair. We met when we were both out on new year's eve. (His friend knew one of my ...
A. 6 September 2013: I think you are being a bit unfair. He has ended his relationship with his wife. Your boyfriend has no control over her behavior. She sounds like the typical ex that doesn't want her husband to move onto a new love and have his happiness. She ... (read in full...)
Is it right my boyfriend went out with 4 female friends from uni without me, to a swanky new restaurant?
Q. Is it right that my boyfriend goes to dinner in a swanky new restaurant in town with 4 other girls, who are single, without me? No reason for it, just because. Friends from uni that is. My heart sank when he rang me to tell me, and dropped in, ...
A. 6 September 2013: I think you are over thinking this. It sounds more like you are jealous of him being with his lady friends. It sounds like his plans were last minute.
Take the bull by the horns and take him out for dinner there and have a romantic dinner. ... (read in full...)
I want to have children with a man who is experiencing it for the first time too
Q. I recently met a lovely man off a dating site. We chatted for around two months online before we met, and we've been dating for around five months. He's a little older than me, I'm 24 and he's 32 but the age gap doesn't bother either of us....
A. 5 September 2013: I'm sorry but I think you and him will have your own experience with your baby if that is what is too happen. No one can take away that experience of it being your child. I would look at this as he had some training that will help you guys succeed ... (read in full...)
How do you stop searching for love when you so badly want it to find you?
Q. People always say don't search for love and you'll find it but how can I stop searching? In the back of my mind I'm always expecting to meet someone, especially at weddings or public events. Im27 and have been single all my life. I know what I want ...
A. 5 September 2013: Have you ever thought that maybe you are holding yourself back from meeting someone? Have you thought about asking a guy out that you have some interest in? Do you have such high standards that one little thing turns you off? Are being ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend lied to me about his past and his sex life and I don't know how much to believe him now.
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for about 8 months now. Things have been fabulous, we’re looking at getting engaged soon. However, there are some things which are bothering me and I need some men’s opinions on this. I was a virgin when I met him b...
A. 5 September 2013: One thing I have learned in life is everyone lies about their sex life. They are either pure or have done it all.......and stuff In between.
You need to make a decision. Am I willing to die on this mountain? Is this worth me fighting everythi... (read in full...)
Happily married men: when did you know you wanted your wife to be your wife?
Q. Question for the happily married men out there : when did you know your wife was "the one?". Did she have to push you to take the next step - or did you ask her? (whether it be moving in, marriage, or baby) I brought up the "next step" (moving ...
A. 4 September 2013: I realize that you are looking for a happily married man for an answer. But I thought I would offer my advice.
I would give this man a year he requires to make a decision of commitment. You and him are at an age you should know where you are ... (read in full...)
Torn between the girl leaving for university, and the local one.
Q. I'm not sure what to do, I'm in a boat I've never been before. I've been getting close to a friend of mine all summer, we both knew she was moving away to university 200 miles away and I gave her the option of either making things a proper relatio...
A. 3 September 2013: You are a pretty young to be making any commitment with anyone. I think you need to be honest with the Univ gal. I think you need to be a friend to her...you can't go wrong with that. She will also meet someone there and it will "click" for ... (read in full...)
He told me I shouldn't try to wear a bikini again! Yet he looks at porn when I'm out of the house! Am I wrong to take this to heart?
Q. My stomach was severely covered in stretch marks after having our first baby. Its been 3 years and I've worked really hard to get back down to my college weight. So I said something to my husband about trying to get back into a bikini. He told me ...
A. 3 September 2013: Ok my answer is not going to be popular but when I ask my husband a question or give a suggestion, I expect a honest answer. In saying this, I don't expect him to hurt my feelings.
If you feel sexy, comfortable and proud of who you are, YOU... (read in full...)
When I mention the "L" word he clams up on me!
Q. I am struggling to understand a man i am seeing on a regular basis,we have been together for years,yet not once has he told me he loves me yet he know's i love him very much. What i don't understand is he is always telling me i am his darling ...
A. 3 September 2013: Is there a reason in his past that he struggles with the "L" word? Have you asked him what his difficulties is with this word?
At times, I think the word "Love" is "abused". People saying it and not meaning it.
I think your guy loves you. ... (read in full...)
My ex says he wants me back, I love him but I'm afraid he'd hurt me again. How do I move on?
Q. My ex called after 4 months of break up. He dumped me and was very mean when he broke up with me. He said he misses me and still loves me. I'm always the one he wants to marry. I told him I'm not going to get back with him because he hurt me t...
A. 2 September 2013: The first year is always hard. You miss a lot of things that were great while together.
Don't go back......it will hurt even more the next time.
I wish you all the best. Because after all, isn't that what you deserve?... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is either the eternal batchelor or has cold feet!
Q. How soon is too soon to have a conversation about moving in, or the next step? (marriage) My boyfriend and I have known each other for 3 years and been dating for 9 months. We are both in our late 30s. I have to move (lease is up) - so I men...
A. 24 August 2013: I feel for you. But the key to a great relationship is communication. Ask him where he see you guys this time next year. Be prepared for the answer. If he is not ready to make a commitment you need to decide what your needs are.
I hope you... (read in full...)
We are soulmates but now he's ignoring me.
Q. I've been in a whirlwind relationship that I would consider my soulmate. He is recently divorced, a messy divorce, and has kids. I'm longtime divorced with no children. It was love at first sight for both of us and he asked me to marry him ...
A. 20 August 2013: Yep he moved on....lives with a gal and I think is very happy.... (read in full...)
Should I buy my boyfriend a few toiletries that he can keep at my place or is it overbearing?
Q. I'm 31 and have been dating my guy for 6 weeks. Over the past few weeks we've gotten pretty close and he's been spending 1-2 weeknights and all weekend at my apartment. He has a toothbrush at my apartment, but no other practical stuff ...
A. 20 August 2013: Geesh I wouldn't think that was a big deal to buy him that stuff. You guys are in your 30's, your mature enough to know where this relationship is going. Your not taking marriage. I think it is a nice jester.
From reading everyone else's r... (read in full...)
It's been years and no matter how hard I try I can't get over her
Q. How do you move on from a broken heart when you don't even have the desire to find anyone new? It's been 3 and a half years since my last serious relationship ended and even though I've been with more women since then than in the whole rest of my...
A. 20 August 2013: I think you are sweet. I think you put a lot of weight into your relationship with your ex.
Having a broken heart it terrible. It is like their is an empty space in our hearts that only she(he) can fill.
You have to stop having random se... (read in full...)
I ended up sleeping with my ex only to find out that he has been seeing soomeone new
Q. So.. I slept with my ex bf over the weekend after 2 months being broken up. He was the one that broke no contact, he called me late sat night saying he wanted to talk and bla bla you know the rest. I found out the next day through mutual friends ...
A. 20 August 2013: Why would you let yourself go over to his place? It was a late night call....it was a booty call.
I think you have learned from this experience. Go back to no contact. You miss him and love him. It has been 2 months. You need time to griev... (read in full...)
I'm married, he's married. Do I tell him that I have a crush?
Q. I am married and I have a crush on a married teacher I met only briefly. Should I tell him? ...
A. 20 August 2013: You have a crush! Why would you do that to someone you really don't know. ... (read in full...)
We are soulmates but now he's ignoring me.
Q. I've been in a whirlwind relationship that I would consider my soulmate. He is recently divorced, a messy divorce, and has kids. I'm longtime divorced with no children. It was love at first sight for both of us and he asked me to marry him ...
A. 20 August 2013: Love is patient;Love is Kind.
You are going to be ok.....I have been there. It took me a year to get over "being ignored". He has moved on...so must I.... (read in full...)
My ex and father of my child has disappeared across the world and does not pay any child support at all. How can I proceed?
Q. I have a 2-year-old son and my ex has not paid child support at all. He disappeared into obscurity once the baby was a year old; it makes me depressed that he just fled from his child, he was a good, decent reliable man before we got pregnant (he...
A. 19 August 2013: First of all.....he is not a good guy. If he was any kind of a man at all he would be responsible for his son. It is obvious that he doesn't care or love him on so many levels. A child needs a role model that contributes to his up bringing. Money ... (read in full...)
We are soulmates but now he's ignoring me.
Q. I've been in a whirlwind relationship that I would consider my soulmate. He is recently divorced, a messy divorce, and has kids. I'm longtime divorced with no children. It was love at first sight for both of us and he asked me to marry him ...
A. 19 August 2013: I think he is ignoring you because you he is under a lot of stress and you are part of it.
... (read in full...)
How do I tell her I looked into her phone and saw explicit messages?
Q. I have a dilemma and need to find a way to resolve it. I have been dating a lovely lady for 18 months. 10 months into our relationship, work took me away to South East Asia, where my roots are. I was supposed to return after 5 months, however ...
A. 19 August 2013: I don't see your relationship as exclusive. You are living away from each other and seeing each other on weekend vacations. Vacations are a great time but it is not true life. Vacations give you the best of a person.
Maybe this girl wants so... (read in full...)
We are soulmates but now he's ignoring me.
Q. I've been in a whirlwind relationship that I would consider my soulmate. He is recently divorced, a messy divorce, and has kids. I'm longtime divorced with no children. It was love at first sight for both of us and he asked me to marry him ...
A. 19 August 2013: I think you need to back off! You are going overboard and hurting yourself. Give him a break. Give yourself a break.
You said he is going away and it is a dangerous trip? Maybe that is causing him stress too.
Cool your jets. If you tru... (read in full...)
I was upset all evening, was I overreacting?
Q. Hello, yesterday I had a meeting in the city with my boyfriend. I was a little late and when I came to the meeting place I saw him talking to his ex gf who he knows I hate very much, because she is psycho bitch. They were laughing and when I was ...
A. 19 August 2013: You let some ex-girlfriend of your boyfriend control your mood, your actions because you hate her. Hate is a pretty powerful emotion. One emotion in the end that will hurt and destroy you. It is a waste of energy. Those two things com... (read in full...)
Is it wrong to persue this divorced woman? Is my friend jealous?
Q. I have friends, but not at all close friends who divorced. I saw her now and then where she works and she's always been very friendly. We grew up together in the same small town, but never hung out or were ever really friends, we ran in different ...
A. 19 August 2013: If you are enjoy each others company and your both single, go and have a great time.
She asked you out. She is interested in you and not your buddy. Maybe he is and maybe he isn't jealous but I wouldn't engage in a conversation about you and ... (read in full...)
He says he wants to see me and then backs out every time! What is with him?
Q. I met a guy a few months ago. He started texting me me a short while after. Our texts became pretty steamy. But he seems to go hot and cold. He says he wants to meet up. Three attempts have been made and he chickens out. Late Friday night he texte...
A. 18 August 2013: He is involved with someone....maybe his wife or a new girlfriend. Don't waste your time.
... (read in full...)
I thought our relationship was my business! Am I overreacting?
Q. I have been with this guy for a while now. I love him very much and thought he felt the same way. we use to share everything. He is the only guy friend I felt I needed. I don't talk to other guys on the phone or internet. I recently found out that ...
A. 18 August 2013: Time to move on. This guy isn't interested in a serious healthy relationship.
Love yourself enough, respect yourself to start a new! Life has it's ups and downs but you are in control of the ups!
Good Luck!... (read in full...)
Am I doing the right thing for my son?
Q. I got pregnant with my son at 18 by a guy who told me I was a whore and the baby wasn't his. He was my first. He didn't talk to me for four months after that. Then he decided to contact me at which point he basically used me for money and rides when ...
A. 18 August 2013: As a mother we have to do things we believe are right. You are doing the right thing. Do not second guess yourself. Move forward and don't look back.
Be prepared to have to answers when that family comes a calling to inform your son that you... (read in full...)
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