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I cant have sex with my g/f after knowing she had sex with another man

Tagged as: Sex, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (20 December 2014) 5 Answers - (Newest, 22 December 2014)
A male United States age 41-50, *ugzy writes:

What should I.Do I can't enjoy sex with girlfriend after finding out she had sex with another man while a one mouth split. I.Just keep seeing him with her while having sex.

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A male reader, Sageoldguy1465 United States +, writes (22 December 2014):

Sageoldguy1465 agony auntWell, then, you have to reconcile that, whatever MIGHT have happened between you and her, is "kaputski"....and you'll need to find another girl - whose sexual background you don't know - if you are going to have $ex with her...

Good luck....

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (21 December 2014):

Yup, those images of who she was with can haunt you and turn you off cold during sex, after sex and any time giving you nasty, upset stomach feeling. That is telling you that you just can't be with her, speaking from experience. Even if you forgive her, the image will haunt you forever spoiling your sex with her, desire for her and how you feel. Just let her go, break up and take the pain. It's better then having to live with it forever.

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A female reader, Brokenv Canada +, writes (21 December 2014):

First you were split.....you were free to do want (or who) you want.

I'm not trying to be harsh but this is your issue you need to over come. You need to decide whether your relationship is over or you look forward to a future together.

good luck

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (21 December 2014):

I know I cannot have sex with a boyfriend if he has cheated.

I couldn't even look at him again.

Cheating is a deal breaker to me. I've been cheated on a couple of times and those relationships ended the instant I found out.

I suppose this is different since you two were split up when it happened. I guess that's the risk you take when you break up with someone. Breaking up means you two are no longer committed and are free to do as you please. By initiating or merely accepting the break up, you let this person go. By initiating or accepting a reconciliation a month later doesn't change the fact that for a month this person was free to do as she pleased. And she may very well have taken advantage of that. Again, that was a risk you were both willing to take when you decided to break up. And a possibility you were willing to accept when you made up.

I guess it's a lesson: don't be impulsive and break up with someone for a stupid reason if you are just going to get back together and then be all butt hurt about how she handled her freedom. If you love someone, stick with them.

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A male reader, dougbcoll United States +, writes (21 December 2014):

dougbcoll agony auntyou are in a tough place. i can understand how you feel, i have been in your place . you only have two choice's to forgive her, or not.

you need to ask yourself do you love her and can't live without her ? has she shown sorrow ,ask forgiveness for being with someone else while apart? doe's she know how this has effected you, your emotions, your hurt you feel?

i went through a similar bout yours ago while dating my wife before marriage. she was with other guys. it hurt and still doe's today. i forgave her, and know i don't want to live without her.

i hope something i have written may help you. the old saying "time heals old wounds" is crap. you can still remember and feel the hurt, but the thing is to forgive, and love them.

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