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Is she playing games?

Tagged as: Crushes<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (3 September 2014) 7 Answers - (Newest, 4 September 2014)
A male United Kingdom age 51-59, anonymous writes:

A young woman hired me to look at problems in her home and while I was out to fix them she was nice and even flirty, I thought this girl may even have a thing for me but out of the blue she went to my manager who insisted to come out with me on every visit afterwards until the repais were completed. My office is on her door step and I see her almost every day, which I say hello but she ignores me! I don't get why or what her issue is, she used to flirt with me and now doesn't even say hello! I am married so wouldn't have tried it on, so what's her problem if she isn't shoving her breasts in my face she's been ignoring me! Is she playing games!

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (4 September 2014):

Hi, thanks for your comments, this girl had got me over thinking this situation, and you may be right, she was enjoying it tbh. If I see her today I will just give her the cold shoulder, sure she'll prob come running back and be all nice again when she realizes am not playing her game. But tbh she can go to hell, I just tried to be nice and there was no need for her to be rude to me. Thank you.

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A female reader, Brokenv Canada +, writes (4 September 2014):

Really who cares. Just ignore her and go on your daily business.

Don't get yourself into trouble over this girl. She sounds like trouble to me. Games or no games.....not worth it!

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (3 September 2014):

My guess is that you came accross like you were leering / perving on her and she felt uncomfortable around yoou so now you have to come round supervised.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (3 September 2014):

Sometimes we don't realize the expressions on our faces when we are first acknowledging people as they approach. You could have something on your mind, and it is unintentionally reflected in your facial-expression.

You also have to take into account she may not feel comfortable being alone with a man having access to her home. Which I feel is more the reason.

You mentioned something about her shoving her breasts in your face. I don't think she did that at all. I think your eyes lingered in that area a little longer than necessary; and she felt self-conscious and uncomfortable about it.

Even if either of you were being friendly; it can still come off as flirtatious, if your eyes are more on her chest then looking her in the eyes. It was appropriate for her to take offense, and let you know it. Then there can be no mistakes in the future about where she's coming from.

What's it to you anyway? She asked that someone else be with you. She apparently isn't playing games, and that's the point she's making. Perhaps you mistook her friendliness for flirting; and she picked up on your inappropriate response and reaction to it. She didn't interpret it just friendly.

Whatever the case, if it's all professional, and you didn't get into trouble; don't bother your boss or her about it. Let it go, do your job, and leave her alone. Eye to eye contact, short and formal greetings, and off you go.

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A male reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (3 September 2014):

olderthandirt agony auntIt would be my guess that she's just alittle eccentric and is not really posturing for anything serious. Might out to just keep wondering for a good while. She just doesn't sound all that 'grounded' the way you describe it. Best lay low and play wait and see. good luck

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A female reader, RubyBirtle United Kingdom +, writes (3 September 2014):

Did you ask your manager if she'd given a reason?

One reason I can think of that she behaved like this is because of some perceived inappropriate behaviour. It doesn't sound that you were flirting with her but may be it's something else. Maybe she suspects you of breaking or stealing something in her home but isn't sure (which is why she hasn't hasn't compalined formally)

She may also be embarrassed by her overtly flirtly behaviour especially as she didn't get any response from you and now is avoiding you.

Or she could be just like that. Maybe she has a pesonality disorder or something. People with strong Histrionic personality traits will often flirt unmercilessly with people to get what they want (even though sex isn't always what they're after)

Histrionics will quickly lose interest in flirting when they have got what they wanted or when it comes clear to them that the person their flirting with can't/won't give them what they want (whatever that may be)

But - she's just a customer. Don't worry about what she's thinking or what her intentions are. Just ignore her back and forget about her. It doesn't sound like she's made a formal complaint about you or anything.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (3 September 2014):

Honeypie agony auntMy guess? Yes, she is playing games.

Maybe you didn't "play" her game the "right" way (Goodness only know WHAT she expected). Or maybe she can't tell the difference between flirting and just being nice (as in, saying hello on the street).

Stop greeting her when you met her, if you get sent to her home for repairs, no idle chit chat, just get in, get it fixed, get out.

It's really hard to say why she is acting this way for sure. Did the manager NOT explain WHY he feels it necessary for him to "oversee" you while you work at her place? If not, did you ask him?

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