He wants to go "no contact" after our breakup but the pain is unbearable for me
Q. hello, I need some advise. I am in the in the mids of breaking up with my bf with whom I am with for 4 years. Is there anyone there who could help me lessen the pain a bit? I have read everywhere that the no contact rule should be applied but I do...
A. 16 December 2013: God I know the pain. The no contact rule is the best rule to move on. I haven't seen the guy I truly love in almost 2 years. I still miss and hunger for him. At the begining I was paralized with my heart ache. To this day I could not trust ... (read in full...)
Should I send this letter to my narcissistic ex?
Q. My ex dumped me 6 months ago. A few months ago after I read something on the Internet, I realized that I'm a narcissist victim. I'm trying to move on, but I still think about him a lot. The last time i sent him a message was 2 months ago and he ...
A. 14 December 2013: Do NOt send this letter. What purpose would it serve? You are only going to hurt yourself in the long run. He will get pleasure out of this. You stating things in this letter about how he treated you is not going to make him a better man.
... (read in full...)
My husband makes twice what I do but wants to split our bills 50/50
Q. I live in an apartment with husband, Here is a break down of our expenses and earnings monthly Rent $920 inclusive of hydro. Tv phone and internet 102. Food around $300 - $330 Also we pay for apartment insurance. Food also includes a...
A. 14 December 2013: I don't understand splitting bills. My husband and I have two accounts. One is to pay bills and one is to save for fun or rainy days. He makes more than me so the account that pays the bills is where his cheques go into. I make less and that is ... (read in full...)
I really want him back. Was it wrong to say what I said, especially as I did not mean it?
Q. I previously wrote here and took some advice on tactics to win my ex back. We only dated 2 months but I fell for him hard. I started pressuring him to put a title on the relationship which ultimately pushed him away. We broke up a little over a m...
A. 13 December 2013: You got what you deserve. Playing games is the wrong thing to do. If I asked a guy away with me for the weekend and he told me he had plans with a gal.....I would be gone. You are playing a hurtful game, and you are getting hurt.
I believe ... (read in full...)
Why do guys ask for underwear?
Q. I slept with this guy like more than 5 times. He asked for my underwear twice and on his third ask, I decided, why not? So I gave them to him. I just want to understand this phenomena... why do guys ask for underwear? I'm curious. I just hope I ...
A. 11 December 2013: I think it is odd. It really weirds me out! I have never heard of that. Whenever I hear of a guy wanting/with panties, I think of a pedator.....but in saying that, you must feel comfortable with it and that is all that matters.
... (read in full...)
Feeling guilty that I broke up with my boyfriend so close to Christmas!
Q. I broke up with my boyfriend, of 3 years, yesterday. He'd been emotionally abandoning me for quite some time and we'd been having problems the last few months that we couldn't get past. I told him time and time again that I wouldn't keep "waiting" ...
A. 7 December 2013: Don't look back. It is what it is. You have done the right thing for you. No contact is the way to go. You need time to heal and grieve. It all takes time.
As for breaking up before Christmas there is never a good time to break up.
YOU DID... (read in full...)
Do you think he is "into me" beyond just the physical aspect?
Q. I've been dating this guy for about a month and a half now, and we became intimate right away. At first I thought that, perhaps, I'd goofed and "gave it up" too soon, therefore ruining all chances of a real relationship, but this guy has continued ...
A. 7 December 2013: So you "gave it up", I think you are over thinking this. I think you need to let this play out.
He is contacting you. Coming over and you have not be able to engage in sexual contact......tells me he is interested.
... (read in full...)
I just found out my boyfriend has a baby but he denies it
Q. Hi, im 16yrz and i've been dating my b.f for 7months. I just find out that this b.f of mine who is 18 years has a baby. I was shocked when i 1st heard it.. When i asked him last week he denied everything.. I know that he is lying to me. i just don...
A. 7 December 2013: How do you know this is his baby? You never clarified. This is not a guy I would what to date. Denying his very own child! That is unforgivable. Get rid of him. He is a HUGE loser. You are too young to start off with someone who doesn... (read in full...)
The safe option vs. the one you really want?
Q. Hi, I wonder if any girl has had this situation before? My female best friend I've known for a long, long time. We talk a lot, especially relationships. She asks my opinions on blokes she dates and vice versa. She met a guy two years ago ...
A. 4 December 2013: I had to make a decision between my passion and my rock. My passion was intoxicating and exciting. My rock was strong and solid.
I'm with my rock. It was a hardest decision ever. Do I miss the passion....Oh yes! but he was only excellen... (read in full...)
Why has he moved on so quick if he really loved me?
Q. I have ended a very turbulent relationship, which went on for over three years, due to his continued determination to continue using dating sites, while at the same time swearing blind that he loves me. After being broken up, for less than two week...
A. 4 December 2013: He is afraid to be alone. He just needs that someone there cause he doesn't like himself.
You need to move on. There is nothing there and never was.
Respect yourself and let him go.... (read in full...)
Last month Court found me "not guilty' and her accustions as "false". But this girl has ruined my life. How do I move on?
Q. Dear Cupid, I need any advice I can get. I was in a very volatile, messy relationship. At first I thought this girl was amazing. She was beautiful, independent, all of the above. After a few months things didn't appear to be as what they should ...
A. 4 December 2013: What a toxic relationship from the beginning.
You need time to grieve. Take it slow. Get counselling. Speak with someone who can help you grow.
Get involved with things like the gym, school, volunteering to become healthy in spirit and mi... (read in full...)
I feel sad that my friends only want to see me when I make the effort.
Q. It's my birthday coming up, I arranged a party and invited all my friends. More than half simply ignored the invitation. Most of the others, those I consider really close friends, one by one are pulling out. They said initially they would 'try' and ...
A. 1 December 2013: Honestly that is sad. I feel sad for you. My birthday is December 31. The first birthday party I ever had was a surprise party when I turned 30! It was a great evening. I really appreciate it. I never had birthday cake. As I have become olde... (read in full...)
Husband's uncle is causing problems in our marriage!
Q. My husbands uncle is very jealous of our relationship in fact some people have told me that he never stops talking about us like hes obsessed. He tells my husband to do things behind my back and he can get him another woman etc.. he never likes us ...
A. 1 December 2013: This statement you won't seems unfinished. It also appears a bit crazy what you ar trying to get across.
2 years is a long time to put up with negative behaviour. You need to make a decision that is healthy for YOU. Your husband doesn't ... (read in full...)
Why is he so angry when he wanted it to end?
Q. Hi so this is definitely the last question about this particular man that I will ask! I'm just trying to get my head round this last development to be honest. So my ex and i were seeing each other for 5 months, it was mainly lovely, we went on...
A. 30 November 2013: I'm sorry but from the way I read it, you are a bit of a cling on. It is over and done with. Move on.
Be professional when dealing with him at work.
As for asking for the money back. You were in a relationship and it was ok for you to do it... (read in full...)
Why did he act so interested and then suddenly back off?
Q. Hi, There is a guy at work whom I have liked for a while. I am on a dating site online, and one evening, I saw a photo of a guy on this site and clicked on it, and it was this guy I work with ! Shocked at seeing his profile, I didnt initiate...
A. 30 November 2013: I think you need to ignore and move on. I would personally feel alittled "played with". I think he is wasting your time. I'm not your boss but I think the kissing at work is a REAL bad idea.
Good Luck!... (read in full...)
Sex life with fianceé is suffering. How important is sex to women in a relationship?
Q. I just want to know how important sex is to women in a relationship, and also if it is important to them to maintain a healthy relationship. My fiance and I just got engaged a few weeks ago and we've been together for a year and a half. The first ...
A. 30 November 2013: If there is a medical issue. You need to support her and help her get better. That takes time.
When she feels better and your sex lives have not improved. It is time to move on! Sorry but that is a long unhappy life. Sex is importan... (read in full...)
Diagnosed with bipolar disorder. How do I break the news to my husband?
Q. I've known I had some form of depression since high school, but it wasn't that bad, so I didn't seek treatment. I discussed it with my husband before we got married, although he comes from a background where mental illnesses are sort of brushed ...
A. 30 November 2013: If you don't take care of your physical, emotional and mental health, you are not only hurting your husband but you are also hurting yourself.
You husband married you for better or worse. Don't bring the worse out and destroy your marriage... (read in full...)
Is this man attracted to his daughter and possibly her friends?
Q. I have been dating my boyfriend for two years, we got engaged but his daughter had become jealous and wanted me out of there, so we are no longer engaged. He engages in alot of pornography, and while snooping I came across lots of fantasies about ...
A. 30 November 2013: I'm a big believer in a "gut feeling". If you think something is wrong then I would go with that. But in saying that you also have to becareful in accusing someone of child molestation if you don't have proof.
Is is actually looking at child... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is too close to his secretary!
Q. My boyfriend has a really lovely secretary who he thinks a lot of. There are eight guys working in the office. I have met her a few times and she is a lovely warm friendly woman happily married with children. She is 35 and my boyfriend is 38. He t...
A. 29 November 2013: I think at any age you can have a "crush" on someone. You need to be more confident in your relationship. He is with you and is with you.
You need to have a serious conversation and tell him how you feel and what you think. Maybe he doesn't ... (read in full...)
No feelings for my new boyfriend and I think I'm in love with my ex!
Q. Hi i have been in a relationship for 10 weeks now my boyfriend says he adores me the problem is i have no feelings for him even though i have tried and tried i feel to guilty to split up with him though we were friends for 3 years before and we ...
A. 27 November 2013: Let him go. You are not being fair to him or yourself. Would you want to put time and effort into someone who is "just passing time" with you.
You need to spend time with yourself. Get to know your needs, wants and desires. You are confusin... (read in full...)
I'm pregnant with his child. Should I tell his girlfriend?
Q. just over 4 years ago I had an affair with a man who was married, it was very brief and it only lasted a few months. I then moved on and met a man who I eventually married and we had a son together bet we split up a year and a half ago. A few mont...
A. 25 November 2013: You are looking for revenge. Whether you want to admit it or not, you are. Telling his girlfriend will not make you his girlfriend, wife or friend. You doing these actions are only going to hurt you in the long run.
You need to decide o... (read in full...)
What do I do about this petty friend drama?
Q. I recently moved to a new town, and soon after I met a woman (Helen), who asked if I wanted to meet for coffee. That was yhree months ago. Two weeks later she introduced me to her landlady, Emma. I started going round to their house for a cup of ...
A. 25 November 2013: You need to ALL be grown ups. This sounds like grade 7 girl drama. You need to take control of your situation You need to tell Helen that you enjoy her company but you also enjoy her land lady's company.
If she doesn't understa... (read in full...)
Am I about to be used in revenge sex with a longtime friend?
Q. This is a long and complex story of infidelity and revenge sex. So here's the short version. My friend had been cheating on his wife unknown to me. I've know them both since childhood. I kept our friendship at a respectful distance because I could ...
A. 25 November 2013: You are going to be used.....I hate to say this but why are you his friend? If he is abusing any female in any form and you don't agree why would you hang with this guy? No voice suggest you are ok this his behaviour.
Be her friend. You soun... (read in full...)
Should I marry a girl I love and have had a five year on off relationship with but has cheated and lied to me in the past, but has now said she has changed, or should I stay with my new girlfriend of five months who I have a steady relationship with
Q. Hi guys, Anthony here, I am looking for some advice please as I ‘ve go myself into something of a dilemma! Should I marry a girl I love and have had a five year on off relationship with but has cheated and lied to me in the past, but has now said...
A. 24 November 2013: Don't marry either! You really, truly don't love the 5 month girl. If you did you would of cut your ex out of your life. Let your girlfriend go. It is kinda cruel. As for your ex I think you have unresolved feelings for her. In saying that, ... (read in full...)
Don't want to miss out on the opportunity but afraid I'll develop feelings for him
Q. Hi, just asking for your opinion. There is this 50's plus amazing guy at work. He is one of those rare types who attract young girls, more than guys their own age! At work, every and I mean literally every girl would do anything to go out with him(I ...
A. 24 November 2013: If you just want a sexual relationship with this "gentlemen" then I say go for it! But you are stating that you have feelings for him. You can't turn off feelings. I'm not going to get a long conversation about the do's and don't's of this, I'm ... (read in full...)
Girlfriend says she wants to sow her wild oats
Q. I have been with the most wonderful girl for 3 years now. She is a good complement to me and I to her. We moved in together 2 years ago and we have talked of marriage and having a family. However, there is a problem and that is that our sex lif...
A. 24 November 2013: YIKES! You need to let her go. If she is planning on doing this, then you are not important to her.
Every relationship has there ups and downs, but that doesn't mean to hurt someone you really care about.
Move out, get yourself togethe... (read in full...)
Its great that he's a good dad, but I want to feel important too!!
Q. My boyfriend of 2 years has a 2 year old daughter. I have changed myself to accept this situation and moved past it. But now, when he invites me to hang out with them, i usually don't bc i don't like how it makes me feel around them. And i don't ...
A. 22 November 2013: A child needs their parents....a baby girl needs her dad to show her what a real man is. To know what it is to have a healthy loving relationship from a male role model. You need to understand that he has to cram a weeks worth of love, attenti... (read in full...)
Trying to save my marriage. Husband calls me names for having had sexual partners before we met. Help!
Q. I have been married to my husband for 7 years and we have been together for 14. We have 4 children together. Recently, he has told me that he wants to leave me because I had sex with multiple people (a total of 6, including 2 one night stands) ...
A. 22 November 2013: Wow! That is terrible. Why does he think it's ok to call you those names now? He new all this when you got together and NOW IT'S A PROBLEM? This is a HUGE red flag for me.
I realize you love him. But it sounds like no respect for you as a... (read in full...)
How can I help my son financially without it causing further tension?
Q. 21 November 2013: My 29 year old son has just got himself a good job but he is on 6 months probation before his position is confirmed. He needs a car to get to and from work and has no money to fund the purchase himself. He is unlikely to be able to ...
A. 21 November 2013: You sound like a very caring and loving father. It is too bad that you son does not reconginze that. I think you should go out and purchase a car for your son and have it in the laneway when he comes home. What I mean by purchase is a us... (read in full...)
Is there still a chance for us? Should I contact him again within a few months? Or should I just forget about him?
Q. I'll keep it short since our 'relationship' was short too. I met this guy at a party 3 weeks ago. We had an instant click and an amazing evening. He told me he came just out of a long relationship and was single for just 1 month. He's 23, i'm 26 ...
A. 21 November 2013: I totally understood what you wrote. I'm sorry that you are hurting for this guy. I would not contact hime. Give him the breathing room he needs. If this is really meant to be he will reach out. Do yourself a favour and your heart. Don't get ... (read in full...)
Came home unexpectedly and found husband in strange situation. Is he gay?
Q. Dear everyone, Hi I have been married to my husband since May 11th 2013. We havebeen together for almost 8 years. He has never shown any signs of being bi sexual or gay. Well the other morning he didn't expect me home for awhile but my daughter...
A. 20 November 2013: I think you need to go with what your gut is telling you. If you think something funny is going on.....then it is. Have a serious conversation with your husband. Tell him you don't believe his "story". When you are with your partner for as long ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend lied and cheated for over a year and got another woman pregnant. Should I dump him?
Q. Should I dump my boyfriend he has fathered a child with another woman and lied and deceived me for nearly a year he was having sex with both ov us but I had no idea he was cheating neither did the other girl know about me. He told me cause I caught ...
A. 20 November 2013: WoW!!! WOW!!!! This is crazy. You are seriously thinking of being with this guy when he lied about your whole relationship? You are one of a kind! I think you are truly special!
Is he planning on being a father to this child? Is he going to... (read in full...)
Slept with a married work colleague
Q. I have worked with this man for a year. We flirt all day everyday and for as long as I've known him iv been attracted to him, hes also attracted to me but hes married. On friday we had a work party and i stayed in his hotel room and we had sex. Ther ...
A. 19 November 2013: Well.....it happened. You can't change it. You need to learn from it and move on. This is a hard lesson to learn and one mistake is what it is. If you do it again it is not a mistake it is a bad decision. A very bad decision.
Do yourself... (read in full...)
Should I dump my wife? She keeps calling me by her ex's names!
Q. my wife intentionally called me by her ex-husbands name and her ex-fiances name(i caught her texting him later after we were married, she claimed she thought it was his mom)I am having a hard time getting over this. should I dump her?...
A. 17 November 2013: She intentionally called you by her ex's name.....why? That sounds hurtful. Ask her if she is happy with you in this marriage.
I think she is causing a lot of hurt and pain in a relationship that she wanted to be in. I think you are too old ... (read in full...)
I ended the relationship because my boyfriend called me another woman's name
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for a couple of years now but i now have a problem that has really upset me. While we were having sex and my boyfriend was about to cum he said "Michelle"...but that isn't my name...i got really upset but he said he ...
A. 17 November 2013: Ummmmm I have said another man's name in the heat of passion. I didn't mean it and I don't know why I did it. I truly felt terrible and apologized right away.
This could of been an honest mistake. Even if he has a fantasy about a woman named Mi... (read in full...)
My ex found out about my new guy and the new guy ended things!
Q. I was with my boyf for 8 years. We broke up in June. I started seeing someone new in August. Things with this new guy were going great. I've totally fell for him and see a long term future for us. I have met up with my ex on a few occasions, as we ...
A. 17 November 2013: Take a breath.....you need to clean up your last mess. You need to tell your ex that you are moving on. You need to stop having contact with him in any form. You are giving him the wrong impression by still "beginning" with him. Your ex's beha... (read in full...)
Am I unintentionally kind of leading him on?
Q. Am I unintentionally kind of leading him on? I've been seeing a man for about 5 months. He's very sweet and has a lot of qualities I love...but I'm not positive I'm "in love" sometimes I feel like I am, and I feel like if he were to say it, I wou...
A. 16 November 2013: I think you need to let him go. I don't think you are leading him on, but I do think you don't have those "LOVE" feelings for him. That to me, is wasting your time and his. I know that if I were him I would be upset that you are wasting my ... (read in full...)
Is he or is he not interested in me?
Q. Hi all, I have written on here before and I got really good advice from you all. Very good. I have met someone who I've seen around for more than a year now but have only spoken twice before he found me on Facebook and started chatting. He ask...
A. 16 November 2013: Why don't you ask him out?
Tell him what you just told us. You really like him. You want to spend more time together.
Just go for it!... (read in full...)
She let me come back but she's making me pay
Q. One and half years ago, I dumped my 4 years old girlfriend, was feeling bored in relationship. She was begging for next 8 months to come back in her life but I didn't. Between I tried different dates and they didn't work for me. So like 40 days ...
A. 16 November 2013: I'm thinking you got fustrated with the dating scene and went back to her hoping it would work.
You shouldn't be put through the "ringer" because you broke up. Get out of this unhealthy relationship. Take time to be on your own. Enjoy being si... (read in full...)
Sleeping with my ex-teacher who wants to leave his wife.
Q. I'm a 20 year old girl from the UK and 5 years ago met a new teacher at school. He was 28 at the time (now 32). I was in my final year and he was new in the last few months. We got very close etc. and to cut a long story short, after my 16th ...
A. 16 November 2013: You are so young to be worried about his relationship
and how it is going to affect his career.
I'm not going to tell you that he doesn't truly love you but if he did why did he choose to marry his wife? My ex and I broke up almost 2 yea... (read in full...)
Don't want drama. Have not talked to FWB since condom broke. So how do I tell him I'm pregnant?
Q. Soo I feel really stupid here but I don't know what to do.... I was in this FWB things for a couple months we used condoms but had an incident when one broke and 9 weeks later here I am pregnant. Problem is I haven't talked to him since the condom b...
A. 16 November 2013: Wow! I'm sure you are feeling scared and alone.
Tell him what is going on. He needs to know. Just be prepared to be a single mom if you choose to have this baby.
I wish you all the luck in the World!... (read in full...)
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