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I'm a married woman crushing on an old friend

Tagged as: Crushes, Friends, Marriage problems<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (12 March 2020) 9 Answers - (Newest, 16 March 2020)
A female American Samoa age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Hi I am married with a child but recently added an old online friend on social media and we have been chatting .. exchhnGed numbers and all..we flirt a lil but I decided that I won’t speak with this guy after we meet.. it’s been about 10years since we last met. He lives In a different country and has said he will be here visiting a relative so we could meet .. I’m excited to meet him as we have kissed before and liked each other and have lost contact.. recently although tried avoiding talking to him somehow a hi or good morning msg has let to another and he wants to video call me wen we talk.. he is a nice person and has brought some happiness with his jovial and fun personally to my otherwise mundane life.. I love my husband but our relationship after a child has changed so much.. I don’t k now if that is the reason I like speaking to this guy or beco he is really attractive .. also I don’t have many friends in fact just one.. I do have a tiny crush on this guy ..

View related questions: crush, flirt, married woman

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A male reader, Billy Bathgate United States +, writes (16 March 2020):

It’s clear you’re looking to cheat. Why are you here, do you want someone to tell you it’s okay? You’re lying to your husband about what you’re doing and writing BS justifications on here.

It’s clear you’re going to do what you want but if you’re looking for approval you have come to the wrong place.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (15 March 2020):

How can you be confused? It's crystal clear! He wants sex with you!! And thinks that you might be up for some extra-marital shagging. Hence the photos of how good looking he is etc cos he thinks that women think like men and that photos of his hot body will get you in the mood!

He doesn't text often or regularly because you don't mean anything to him except the possibility of a quick roll in the hay. You're an amusement to him. He fancies you and is enjoying the game of seeing whether or not he's going to be able to bed you.

Don't fool yourself cos you're not fooling anyone with the claim that you don't contact him. Yes you do, because after he'd contacted you, you said 'then we contact each other'. If you hadn't contacted him, you would have said, 'then he contacted me again'. You are playing this game with him and you know exactly what his intentions are. Once you sleep with him, if you do, then he will be moving on to the next weak, vulnerable female where he will get his next fix of sexual gratification.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (14 March 2020):

Hi I am the OP..this is how it has been going between us.. I try not to speak to him but he msge she and wants to talk so I don’t want to disappoint or make it seem like I am avoiding him so I talk n then I don’t msg or call him for like two weeks or something but again we contact each other and it starts on and off like this.. also the thing is he has sent me his photos n I obviously know it’s because he knows he is good looking and wants me to see it.. once he also posted on fb and told me to see it.. he also wants to video call me and once said my lips were hot and that I am pretty.. also that he misses me .. he doesn’t bother me at all just random messages I am confused

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (14 March 2020):

Honeypie agony auntSo if you husband is OH SO OK with this why are you asking total strangers on the internet? Makes no sense.

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A female reader, mystiquek United States + , writes (13 March 2020):

mystiquek agony auntThis is really not a very wise action to take. You must realize that one action leads to another action and the next thing you know you're having an affair. How would you feel if your husband was having thoughts like you are having? If you love your husband you should be working on your relationship not thinking of an old friend and possibly meeting with him.

Bottom line is do you want to start something that you probably won't stop and will eventually destroy your marriage?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (13 March 2020):

This is how cheating starts. You rationalize, make excuses, then you do the deed.

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A female reader, Youcannotbeserious United Kingdom + , writes (13 March 2020):

Youcannotbeserious agony auntIf your husband was asking this question, how would that make you feel? Would you be happy for him to meet up with this "friend"? Put yourself in his shoes.

Perhaps this is a wake-up call that you need to inject more fun into your relationship with your husband and you need to make some new friends. It is little wonder you are so drawn to this guy if you are so bored in your everyday life.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (13 March 2020):

Hi i am the OP from the beginning I told my husband that we are speaking and he has said it’s okay as Long as you know your boundaries

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (13 March 2020):

Honeypie agony auntI suggest you ask your husband what he thinks you should do?

Come on, lady USE some common sense here.

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