A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend of 2 years split up with me 2 months ago and since then he hasn't stopped texting me abuse about what a horrible person I am and generally putting me down which is really confusing me why is he still texting me all this abuse when hes the one that split up with me surely he should be happy to live his life as that's what he wanted. He also is on dating sites looking for someone so I really don't understand his behaviour? Has anyone any idea why he is doing this? he is 40years old and he is acting so immature and nasty saying I will never find a man and allsorts. I am a pretty slim blonde so I don't know why he is saying all this! I really wont have trouble finding a man. I don't want to change my number and tried blocking but it just doesn't block them. this morning he woke me up with abuse at 7.30am in the morning! he wanted to be single so its all a bit strange. is theyre a reason behind all this ?
View related questions:
immature, split up, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Billy Bathgate  +, writes (19 December 2019):
Using a cel phone or email to threaten and harass is a crime. If you cannot block him for some reason save all of his text and go to the police with them.
A
female
reader, JustCold8  +, writes (19 December 2019):
 From the looks of it, I think he wants to get back with you but too PRIDEFUL to admit because he knew at the very first place that he broke up with you that he screwed up. And maybe the reason he texted you those kinds of criticism because he wants you to doubt yourself so that you would forever feel pain and he will show himself in front of you playing superhero of the day and help. In other words, instead of him to crawl back to you, he wants YOU to crawl back to him. My advice, ignore his text and cut toxic people away from you. Because they never done good. Lots of love for you. A real gentleman will come and love you for who you are.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 December 2019): Change your number. Stop spying on him on social media, and don't respond to calls or messages that don't appear on your caller ID.
Seems you want him to maintain contact, and you're getting addicted to stalking him on social media.
Keep his messages, record his abusive-calls, and report him for threatening and harassment. You didn't need our advice, you already know what you needed to do...thus you said you wouldn't change your number.
You're enjoying the drama aren't you?
You're a slim and pretty blonde, you can get another man. Block him and change your number.
...............................
A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious + ♥, writes (18 December 2019):
 There are many things I wonder about in your post.
Firstly, I have to wonder how you know he is on dating sites? It appears NEITHER of you has moved on from your relationship.
Like some of the other replies, I too wonder why you have not been able to block him. This is a relatively easy process and standard on most equipment these days. If your phone is very old and doesn't have this facility, perhaps you need a new phone but to keep your number so that you can block any contact from him.
Something else I wonder about is, if he has kept this up for 2 months, are you responding to his abuse? I can't imagine many people who would keep up sending abuse for 2 months if they got zero response.
...............................
A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (18 December 2019):
 Wouldn't it be worth it to change your number?
To NEVER hear or SEE another stupid abusive text from him?
YES, I get it's inconvenience to have to change your number, but you CAN NOT change him or what HE is doing so it IS up to you to make a choice here. If blocking doesn't work, a VERY good option is to change your number.
And lastly, I would STOP wondering why he is doing this, HE is NOT your BF anymore (thank goodness, I think?) and the more you "wonder" about him the LONGER you keep him living rent-free in your head.
Since you two broke up he can no longer control you, therefore he is trying to make you feel like crap about yourself by texting you abuse.
Maybe part of YOU moving on and being free of him IS changing your number? Think of it as a NEW start.
Just remember if you get a new number/SIM card to NOT import HIS number into your new phone.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 December 2019): Sometimes men are arseholes. He just enjoys making you miserable. If you don't want to change your number, then I'm not sure if you can do anything to stop the messages. They'll stop eventually but it sounds like it might not be any time soon given that it's been two months. He seems obsesssed with it. Maybe rethink getting a new number?
...............................
A
male
reader, no nonsense Aidan +, writes (18 December 2019):
He sounds like a very abusive person. Maybe what he really wanted was the enjoyment of dumping you and watching you fall apart and begging him to come back. What he didn’t want was for you to accept his wish to be single and your willingness to leave him to get on with the life that he wants.
It sadly sounds like his happiness is found in your unhappiness and so it’s time to get tough with him. You shouldn’t have to change your number but is it really such a bad idea? Also has he got access to you through other platforms that don’t require a number such as social media? Has he been blocked there also? IT should be possible to block him. Most modern phones should support blocking. If not, contact your phone network about blocking options. If they say that it can’t be done or requires compelling evidence, tell your boyfriend that you wish no further contact with him and will consider any breach of this to be stalking. Then if he carries on, keep everything and report him to police for harassment.
I wish you all the very best.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 December 2019): I don't understand why blocking his number won't work? It's worked for me plenty of times....
You say he is sending you all this abuse, are you responding to it? Maybe he's getting a kick out of getting a response from you? It's typical bully behaviour. But if you just ignore it and don't respond he should stop eventually.
Failing that just change your number, I know you said you don't want to but what's worse? Taking a few minutes out of your day to text all your contacts your new number or getting abuse off your ex all the time?
...............................
|
