A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:My gf/s parents are trying to seperate us (after almost 11 months together) because I have had a few minor traffic violations in the past. last being in 1994 and they act like they are all high society and people will think bad things if they ever find out about such. We are both 36 and have been through some pretty tragic events in our lives and only want to be happy, but I feel her family will possibly create even more static in the future not to mention drive my gf mad also...please advise..
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male
reader, somewhat_anonymous +, writes (29 August 2007):
While they try to control her, how controlled is she? Does she allow them to run her life?
You'll have to talk to her and if she is the kind to stand up to them, she will do her best to put it right. Of course if she were that type, she probably tried that already. If she is the "whatever" type, then it might be time for her to become the stand up type. Otherwise her family will always try to control her. She has to be the one to stop all this, and you can hint at it, but not battle it yourself even though it affects you directly.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 August 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionyes of course they are over stepping their boundraies and have "ALWAYS" tried to control every aspect of her life, also of course I am just a normal guy, yes I have had a very active childhood and overcome those issues as well as buried them until "they" her family keeps bringing them up!! She is fine with this, because ive never failed to disclose anything from her, but family remains as a stone inside her shoe, in a manner of speaking..
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A
female
reader, Beckto +, writes (28 August 2007):
 Of course you don't like it. You're right, 1994 was a while ago. Even a DUI after 13 years isn't so bad if you don't drink and drive anymore (for example).
But, what does she think about it? Is she passive about their intervening? Does she not like it too? Has she told them what she thinks of them trying to separate you two?
There's really not much you can do since they're not your parents. I think you should keep as much distance as possible between you and them. Either you are very bad for her and they're trying to save her from you, or you're a generally normal guy and they're stepping way past their boundaries. Since I don't know you, I can't say. But, if it's the latter, talk with your girlfriend. Tell her how you feel. Ask her what she feels comfortable doing about it, or saying to her parents. Find out what plan of action you two can take as a couple. For instance, when she needs to visit them, you don't have to go along.
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