A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have been with my boyfriend for 3 years, we have a child together, he works away alot, I found out a month ago he has been unfaithfull to me several times when working away, and slept with another girl. we seperated, he now wants be back, saying sorry etc, you dont no you have got til its gone etc, i love him to bits, what should i do, every one says once a cheater always a cheater. Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 August 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you everyone so much for taking the time to write your thoughts on my situation. Much appriciated, I am taking on board all of the advice, and having a think about things, I'm glad I shared my problem, as it feels better having read what you have all had to say on the matter, thanks again xxxx
A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 August 2007): I have been with my husband since our teens, I have been with him 12 years. I found out the same a couple of months ago. He had been sleeping with a young girl at work for months. I was in shock for weeks and I made the wrong decisions. I stayed, left, came back but you need time to think. I still haven't decided but I am trying to forgive. I can't forget that she was in my bed for a week while I was away. I need to stop going over the details or it will not work. I still get upset but because he is trying to be nice and has been good for weeks he thinks I should be moving on and forgetting. The children are being effected and being pregnant I am up and down emotionally all the time. You need time to decide if you can forgive and forget. He may be good but you will always wonder. Mine knows there will be no more chances. The girl in question has quit working for him now. It's up to us whether we can cope with the situation or what will be best to make our lives and our children's lives better. Take time you have only known a few weeks. We are going to Relate which I hope will help. Your not alone Good Luck
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 August 2007): A second chance would be good for your child to keep the family together. The condition would be that he stops working away so he can re-build your trust. Until that agreement, no. One more slip and out. He has got some work and proving to do.
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A
female
reader, Tinkz  +, writes (28 August 2007):
 Hey sweety, both Flowergirl and beckto have made good statements! If he has changed then you should give him the chance! We all make mistakes and only realise how much we regret it once we lose something or someone we love! Give him the chance, but one chance only! And its on your terms! If you love him and you know he love you, then give it a chance, but you have to forgive completely otherwise it's only going to complecate things for your child!
But if you feel he is not being genuine then don't bother, if its boredom that made him cheat, can you imagin how many times he will cheat on you for the next 15 years!
But the real question is, does he bring enough positive and loving feelings to your life?
If your answer is positive then personally, i would give him another chance
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A
female
reader, flower girl +, writes (28 August 2007):
 All those people that say once a cheater always a cheater, are probably people that have been cheated on and can't get past that.
My thoughts are everyone deserves a second chance, we all make mistakes in life, none of us are perfect and it's how we deal with these mistakes is what counts.
If you really love him and you think you can forgive and forget then go for it, you just have to make your point very clear, that you are very hurt by what he has done and if anything like this was to happen again there would be absolutely no chance of you two being together.
You have to be able to forgive and forget everything though otherwise it will slowly eat away at your relationship.
Take care and i hope everything works out for you.xx.
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A
female
reader, Beckto  +, writes (28 August 2007):
 Someone can have a problem with infidelity and still be very sorry every time they do it. If you two have only been together for 3 years, and have a child, yet he still feels the need to cheat on you, then I say those aren't good stats!
If he's already cheating at this stage, imagine what it would be like after 15 years!
So, what can you do? Without knowing your personal situation, it's hard to say. But, I wouldn't keep this looser around, personally.
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