I am 25 and really scared of sex due to a painful past
Q. Im 25 and i am really scared of sex, i was abused when i was a teenager by a family member and physically and mentally abused by an ex boyfriend. it has always affected my relationships with men past and presant. I ve recently meet a lovely guy and ...
A. 26 July 2007: Well, what you want is to move beyond the abuse and feel more normal, right? What you want is to have a loving relationship with someone and get to the point where you can enjoy sex?
But, you're too "proud" to go to a therapist? What does that... (read in full...)
How do I fill the void after being dumped?
Q. What does someone do to fill the void after being left,I don't want to fall into the addiction trap and where besides a bar can someone meet refreshing happy people? This must sound so lame but I feel completely lost....
A. 26 July 2007: SWING DANCE!
I'm serious. Give it a shot. It's healthy, most of the time they drink water, great music, and you get to meet a ton of people. They're a very refreshing group of people, and there are groups all over the U.S. (and UK). Send me ... (read in full...)
17 and 27, is that a problem?
Q. I'm 17 and I've just started to get involved with this guy who is 27, is this wrong?...
A. 25 July 2007: I agree with flower girl. As Mark Twain said, "Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter!"
Actually, on its face, age doesn't matter as long as you're both consenting adults. Age does sometimes come into play and ... (read in full...)
Still a virgin at 25!
Q. Hello. I am almost 25 years old and still a virgin. I went to 2 boys schools as a child, so up until I left school at around 18, I hadn't had much contact with girls as I was very shy and introverted. Subsequently I spent 4 years at University an...
A. 25 July 2007: I know a lot of girls who would actually LIKE that fact that you've not had sex before. Many (smart!) girls would like that you're different. It's often such a turn-off to a girl if a guy gets around a lot.
The fact that you're a virgin is not ... (read in full...)
Topless pic of his ex, on his mobile.
Q. Ive been with my bf for a while now and we are just in the process of buying a house. I have a few trust issues in general with everyone. He has a bit of a past which everyone does but i went through his mobile knowing that he in the past has done ...
A. 25 July 2007: You have to figure out how to talk to him about this before you buy the house. That is a very big commitment, and for him to have something like that on his phone, it wouldn't sit well with me. Just take a big breath and sit him down to talk. The ... (read in full...)
We are both 16, and we want a baby.
Q. Me (16 in 5 days) and my boyfriend (16) really want to have sex and have a baby, we have had safe sex and now want the real thing, but we are both are in the middle of some A levels. we have our own flat together so it is not like any of our parents ...
A. 25 July 2007: Too young. Both of you. What's the rush? If you are going to marry him now, you should still be married in 5 years, right? Why not do it then?
Do you know how much is costs to have a baby? If you have a baby you will want to do and give anyt... (read in full...)
They told me my boyfriend was dead, and it was a joke.
Q. Hello there... Okay...I have several problems really. The first one is this: Yesterday, my "friend" and two of her friends played a very sick joke on me, and let me tell you, I am so glad that I only believed them for a split-second. The jok...
A. 25 July 2007: First of all, your "friends" don't seem to be real friends. Especially if they didn't apologize for scaring you. I would take the higher ground and NOT get revenge. Just blow it off and learn from this experience (learn that they're not your real ... (read in full...)
It did not work in the past, so why should it work now?
Q. So a girl I went out with a few times in college, about 5 years ago, (we went out on a few dates but really didnt work out and no hard feelings afterward) and was somewhat friends a little while thereafter the few dates we went on...emailed me out ...
A. 25 July 2007: If you're interested in her, apart from her interest in you, then sure, check it out. But, if you find that you're not really into her, just let it go.
Just because she's interested in you doesn't mean you should be interested in her.... (read in full...)
She's got an Std, but isnt going to tell her boyfriend!!
Q. I have a friend who has herpes. She got herpes when she began to have unprotected sex with her fiancee who didn't deem it necessary to tell her that HE had the disease. Needless to say, they are no longer engaged, but she does have this life long...
A. 25 July 2007: Bad judgment call on her part, if she doesn't tell him. Even though she is on the meds she can still infect him. She needs to fully disclose her condition, as you suggested. Here's why:
I had a friend who did the exact same thing as what your... (read in full...)
Even though we havent had intercourse, could I get pregnant?
Q. hi ppl. i got my bf to put this on at 3am in the mornin coz i am reli worried i may be pregnant. we havent had full intercourse but i am worried the lil tadpoles as i call em, well the sperm can get me pregnant, im too young n he wnt buy any ...
A. 25 July 2007: Flower Girl did it again. She hit the nail on the head, so to speak.
If you're not mature enough to go buy condoms, you're not mature enough to have sex.
And as she said, it IS possible to get pregnant that way, but I have to add that it's a ... (read in full...)
Do i do it when he's hard or soft?
Q. hi, I'm about to go out with this guy and he is more experienced than me and i wanna kno how to give a blow job. and when you do is he hard or soft when u start?...
A. 24 July 2007: You're old enough to rent a couple of pornos. Watch how they do it.... (read in full...)
His Mom doesnt like me
Q. I have been i a relationship for 1 year, but i have known my boyfriend for about 10 years. I've met almost everyone in his family and the one person who means the most to him, his mom, doesn't like me. I have never disrespected his mom or even said ...
A. 24 July 2007: I have been in your situation -- the mom not liking me for NO reason. And there's no easy answer.
One thing you can do is talk with your boyfriend. Ask him to sit down with his mom and see if he can work it out without you. See if he can calm... (read in full...)
If I register on this site will I get tons of spam?
Q. I'm thinking of registering on this site but am a little cautious about giving my email details in case I subsequently get inundated with unwanted spam emails which have been the bane of my life in the past. Can anyone reassure me that if I DO reg...
A. 24 July 2007: No spam here either. But, what kind of email account do you use? Try using gmail. I almost NEVER get spam no matter what I do online.... (read in full...)
She teased me last night and now I have pains this morning!
Q. Hi Im new at this so bare with me. My girlfreind slept over at mine last night just the two of us (my parents have gone away for the week). As the night went on things got a little more steamy. We was both being turned on. But due to her being on ...
A. 24 July 2007: Hi there,
What you had people commonly call "Blue Balls." As Daniel explained below, it's pain from becoming very turned on, but not ejaculating. It's all very, very normal, so please don't worry. It's just one of those things that guys hav... (read in full...)
I've messed up big time and get sick thinking about what I've done. Now my husband despises me. Help!
Q. I am a woman aged 45. I have been married for 25 yrs and I have done a really really stupid thing. I was in my local watering hole recently (my husband had gone home)I was annoyed with him and I was also menstral,hated the world etc. I got so drunk ...
A. 24 July 2007: Your first, and biggest mistake was getting so drunk you couldn't control yourself. Do you have issues with drinking? I don't know if you do, but it's worth honestly asking yourself.
Your second mistake is letting yourself become so ashamed ... (read in full...)
Now that she knows marriage is imminent my girlfriend seems to be questioning everything in life
Q. for the past eight months my girl friend has been begging to get married. now that she knows it is close she seams to be second guessing everything in life it seems. so, could some one just tell me that shes just scard and it is normal, or should i ...
A. 24 July 2007: It's hard to say if she's just getting nervous ("cold feet") or if she's having serious doubts. It's worth talking about it, though. It's better to talk about it now than after the wedding! Ask her how she feels about the wedding and if she's ... (read in full...)
I'm a male, but I want to be a female - what steps are involved?
Q. I'm male, 19 and I want to be female. How could I go about this? And would I have to be with other guys or would it be possible to be with women?...
A. 24 July 2007: I'm with AuntyEm. Also, try and tap into the transexual/transgendered community in your area, if there is one. They would be able to tell you who is good to see and talk to.
One way to find them is online, searching your town (or nearest big city... (read in full...)
Is it worth it to stay, or should I trust my gut and leave my guy?
Q. Well, I found out that he cheated on me and it continued over a long period of time. I confrunted him, and he said that he stopped. I then cought him out several times after that. It has been about six months since he swore that it has ended, but I ...
A. 24 July 2007: GO WITH YOUR GUT. LEAVE.
The past is the best indicator of FUTURE actions.
Your instinct is something that's in you to protect you. Go with your instinct.... (read in full...)
Our kids dont get along. Do we have a chance?
Q. I had been going out with my boyfriend for over 5 years, we had planned to marry, we are both divorced and have children for our previous marriages, we moved in together last year, i have my 14 year old son living with me, four weeks after us moving ...
A. 24 July 2007: So the question really isn't "Our kids don't get along," but "Should I date this man again," right?
If the situation were just about the kids, you could manage a relationship. The 17 year old will probably want to move out in the next few year... (read in full...)
I need to be sure she is marrying me for the right reasons. She doesnt show me affection!
Q. Dear Cupid, I have been going out with my partner for bout a year. I really love her and care for her greatly but I find myself fighting for her attention. She seems to care more for her family then she ever would me. I find myself doing sil...
A. 24 July 2007: Someone can act interested for a year. Even two years. If you're quite successful, and she doesn't have her own "success," if you know what I mean, then you may be marrying someone who's more interested in your money than you. It happens all the ... (read in full...)
He said he wants to meet me, but then he said he might be too busy! Is this a brush off?
Q. I met a guy a week ago and kissed him, we have txt each other and he says he wants to meet me but when i asked him if he was ok for a drink tonight he says he might be busy. He's sent me messages saying i am beautiful and very sexy but should i take ...
A. 19 July 2007: It doesn't sound like a brush off to me. It sounds like he really may be busy.
If he hadn't said you were sexy, etc, then I might think it was a brush off.
Let the ball stay in his court, so to speak. Let him make the next suggestion of when ... (read in full...)
He hasn't totally gotten over past relationships; does this mean he might not be fully committed to me?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for about 9 months. We have a great, honest, loving relationship. He's been in a few more serious relationships than I have. I know he's still not completely moved on from 2 of them. He doesn't talk to them, or ...
A. 19 July 2007: Don't worry. His feelings don't have anything to do with you. This is just something that he's going to have to figure out on his own. It make take him a day or two, but he'll get a handle on it.
Even for us old folks, running into your ex, ... (read in full...)
If a guy masturbates in the bath and then a girl goes in after him, can she get pregnant?
Q. can a 10 girl old girl get pregnant if the guy masturbated in the shower then got out and she went in the shower to take a bath?...
A. 19 July 2007: The answer is... NO! You can't get preggers from that. If you could, then there would be many more girls getting impregnated by their horney brothers after taking a bath.
Impossible! :)... (read in full...)
I am worried that someone might tell my new guy about something I did in my past
Q. I am in a bit of a muddle..I have recently got together with a friend of my ex. Myself and my ex split up years and years ago but a couple of years ago when I was at a low ebb and after listening to him tell me all the things I wanted to hear I ...
A. 18 July 2007: Two ideas:
It's no one's business (besides yours and Mr. Ex's), even if they know about it. They should mind their own business. But, we all know that people still talk...
So, I think it's better if he hears it from you first. It's a lot of i... (read in full...)
My ex now is seeing the same councelor I did and I dont like it
Q. I have a simple question-(Maybe) I was dating this guy for close to 3 years-and he was an alcoholic-I found this out after 1 year with him-I tried counseling with him (He agreed to go on his own not forced) to my counselor of 8 years! Well long...
A. 18 July 2007: He may be going to the same counselor as you because he is familliar with her. If your counselor is any good, then absolutly no information about you will be given to him and vice versa. That is absolutely against the law and against ... (read in full...)
How can I sleep with my boyfriend who has HIV, but not get it myself?
Q. How do you catch HIV/AIDS? I kissed my boyfriend (who's just been dignosed with HIV) a couple of days back. Have i got the STD? Please reply, i'm really worried. Also i'm thinking of having sex with him. What would be the best contraception to use ...
A. 18 July 2007: Go to your doctor, as eyeswideopen said. Or, go with your boyfriend to his doc's appointment, if you can.
It's a *very* big risk to undertake, and you need to be FULLY informed before you do anything.
As far as kissing goes, unless your boyfrien... (read in full...)
How can I make my vagina dry so that my husband wont want to have sex with me?
Q. I've been married for 16 1/2 years. We've had great sex,but lately I'm not interested in having it with him.He's very controlling in the bedroom he wants it every night.And the problem I have is my vagina is very wet at night and he loves it.Ho...
A. 18 July 2007: I second Penta. Talk to your husband. Just say what you want. ... (read in full...)
How can I stop being nervous all the time? I can't enjoy life to its fullest!
Q. I have a bad nerve problem. How can I stop being nervous all the time because it is stopping me from things I really want to do?...
A. 18 July 2007: Get to a psycharitrist! You may have a neurological issue that can be easily treated or addressed! It could just be a small imbalance that can be fixed easily. At the very least, having someone to talk about what makes you nervous might make you ... (read in full...)
Should I stay or walk away for good? Because of him, I have become a misserable, lonely, and pathetic nobody.
Q. Should I Stay or Walk Away for Good? I have been in tthe best loving happy relationship you could imagine for 8yrs then the next 2 have been difficult due to financial problems. This last year hs been the worst year of my life and ive been tre...
A. 18 July 2007: You both seem to have been scarred from the past few years' turmoil.
First thing, you need to fix you. Make addressing your substance abuse issues priority #1. If you're using drugs/alcohol to escape problems/issues, then you are exhibiting the ... (read in full...)
Do I take it she’s just not interested and move on; as if she was she would have been in touch right?
Q. Hey! Thanks for reading this, hope you can give me some advice. Ok so I posted recently how I was having trouble with my ex, she dumped me claiming she didn’t have time for a relationship, but then a few weeks later made it obvious she want...
A. 18 July 2007: I said it before, I'll say it again: "You're wasting your time with her."
That means, don't call her to wish her good luck. She'll be ok without you. You'll be ok without her.... (read in full...)
He feels that I have so much more to experience in my life and if I ended up with him I would leave him when I grow older... he feels he is too old for me.
Q. I have been seeing a guy who is engaged. We met about a year ago, and over time we have become so close, we started off being great friends but it just went too far... now we are so in love, we have everything in common and have not once been sick ...
A. 17 July 2007: How on earth could he be engaged and have an emotionally intimate relationship with you?? (You weren't clear, is it a sexual relationship too?)
He sounds really shady and dishonest.
All of this time he is giving you, he SHOULD be giving... (read in full...)
Is he right for calling me selfish?
Q. My man admitted to me that he has second guessed our relationship because I asked that we speed up the process of us getting married so his insurance will cover my infertility treatment. He says I only think about myself Is he right for calling ...
A. 17 July 2007: My own personal boundaries are:
No marriage, no kids.
In other words, I won't voluntarily get pregnant unless I'm married. (Which I am now, so it's not an issue.)
Why would't you get married first? It would solve all your problems, right?
If I... (read in full...)
I keep dreaming that my ex husband is being emotionally cruel to me.
Q. My ex husband was very emotionally cruel and sometimes physically. I was with him for a long time and have been seperated from him for 3 months and not seen him at all in this time. I am determined never to go back this time but the thing now is ...
A. 17 July 2007: It's your subconscious' way of working out your own personal trauma. Three months isn't a very long time to be away from an abuser.
Have you been going to a counselor/psychiatrist about this? Abuse, be it emotional and/or physical, is somethin... (read in full...)
He keeps threatening me all the time and I don't know what to do about it?
Q. I've been dating my fiance for 4 and a half years and it was a bit tough first year cos we were tryng to get to know each other from different backgrounds. He is a sound engineer, I'm an artist musically. I'm really not sure what the problem is ...
A. 17 July 2007: GET OUT. If the words "kill you" or "kill myself" are part of your arguements, then this man is DANGEROUS. He is a ticking time-bomb.
You need to get really scared.
Do NOT marry him. Do NOT continue to live with him if you are now. And do... (read in full...)
Do I take it she’s just not interested and move on; as if she was she would have been in touch right?
Q. Hey! Thanks for reading this, hope you can give me some advice. Ok so I posted recently how I was having trouble with my ex, she dumped me claiming she didn’t have time for a relationship, but then a few weeks later made it obvious she want...
A. 17 July 2007: It sounds like you don't understand one very important thing about relationships: It takes two.
A healthy relationship is in general, 50%/50%. But, everything you've just described is about 80%/20%. Why subject yourself and waste your time wit... (read in full...)
I think he is cheating with his ex but have no proof.
Q. I have been with my partner for 8 months and things were great for the first 6 months. The past 2 months he has become distant, lying and not wanting to see me, also he goes to see his kids at weekends but lies about it telling me he is working. I ...
A. 17 July 2007: You don't have to know if he's cheating or not to leave him. The fact that he's become distant and seemingly disrespectful to you are enough reasons to leave.
You can leave someone you love, but who you know isn't good for you.
Listen to tha... (read in full...)
I feel like my husband hates me. When I walk into the room disgust comes over his face.
Q. I feel like my husband hates me. When I walk into the room disgust comes over his face. We have been struggling financially because I was in nursing school. Since graduating I am working 2 jobs, raising 3 kids, running the paperwork end of a ...
A. 17 July 2007: What a tough time for you. So many responsibilities and no support at home.
What do you know deep down to be true? Do you know that you are doing amazing, tough things that most people wouldn't even get off their lazy butts to do? Do you real... (read in full...)
Is he right for calling me selfish?
Q. My man admitted to me that he has second guessed our relationship because I asked that we speed up the process of us getting married so his insurance will cover my infertility treatment. He says I only think about myself Is he right for calling ...
A. 17 July 2007: Not enough info!
Just on its face, it doesn't seem like you're being selfish, but then again, there may be way more back story to this.
I doubt this one event caused him to say that.
But if so, then it doesn't seem selfish.... (read in full...)
Is it true that even psychologists abuse their patients/clients for the sake of making their own credit rise?
Q. Is it true that even psychologists abuse their patients/clients for the sake of making their own credit rise? IS it possible to trust anyone for that matter in this world?...
A. 17 July 2007: You have to always watch out for yourself.
I don't know what you're talking about when you refer to "credit," but just as there are good doctors and bad doctors, good teachers and bad teachers, good priests and bad priests, there are good shrinks ... (read in full...)
His medical problem makes sex extremely painful! I adore him, but I'm sexually frustrated!
Q. Ive been with my boyfriend for about 10 months and care deeply about him and feel like i know him inside out, as he does with me. as a boyfriend, he is faultless - never cheats, he takes me out, buys me things, phones me daily and constantly tells ...
A. 16 July 2007: Would he be interested in pleasuring you? Like oral sex? Give him a full-body massage in return.... (read in full...)
My ex and I are still in the same house for now, and he is making me miserable!!
Q. my ex partner and i are still living in the same house, until i get my settlement to put down as a deposit on my new home. I am still an equal owner in our home until i get that money and sign off the deeds but when we are in the house together...
A. 15 July 2007: Put your pride aside for the sake of your daughter and for yourself. Your daughter does NOT need to be exposed to this madness, and neither do you. If he's going to be unbearable to live with, then get out. Stay with your mom until you get your ... (read in full...)
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