My ex and I are still in the same house for now, and he is making me miserable!!
Q. my ex partner and i are still living in the same house, until i get my settlement to put down as a deposit on my new home. I am still an equal owner in our home until i get that money and sign off the deeds but when we are in the house together...
A. 15 July 2007: Put your pride aside for the sake of your daughter and for yourself. Your daughter does NOT need to be exposed to this madness, and neither do you. If he's going to be unbearable to live with, then get out. Stay with your mom until you get your ... (read in full...)
Should I go to the doctor about my eye?
Q. I think my right eye is damaged. My sister got angry at me and she spat in my right eye. Should I go see a doctor about this? There may be diseases....
A. 14 July 2007: Go ahead and go to a doc. If you're ever unsure about anything with your body, it never hurts to go to a doctor to make sure.
If you're having any pain, any changes in your vision, redness, puffiness, or any fluid beyond the normal amount you have... (read in full...)
I am paranoid about getting an STD
Q. Whats the difference between HIV and an STD, I know there are no cures for hiv or aids but can an std be cured and how does someone know if they have it? I've kissed someone passionately and asked them if they were 100% clean of any health risks...
A. 13 July 2007: "STD" is an abreviation for "Sexually Transmitted Disease." They are diseases that you can get from sexual intercorse and sometimes via oral sex as well.
"HIV" is an abreviation for "Human immunodeficiency virus." HIV is an incureable disease that... (read in full...)
He is my guy now, but his ex still calls him Babe and talks all nice to him!
Q. I am in this same situation! My boyfriend and I have been dating for about 5 months now, and I realized that he still contacts his ex girlfriend. They dated for about 7 months or so. My boyfriend and I started off as friends, and I've helped him ...
A. 13 July 2007: Penta is right.
You are invading his privacy and he would be valid to be mad at you for that. Just because you're with someone doesn't mean you have access to every part of their life.
If you trust him, then trust him! You can't do anything... (read in full...)
How can a person marry someone they dont even love?
Q. How could a person marry someone that their not even sure if they like or love them? ...
A. 13 July 2007: Some people do it for money, some people do it for their children or unborn child, some people do it because they know the other person is a very good person and know they are good for them, and some people just do it.
Sometimes other things are ... (read in full...)
When you masterbate, why does your penis hurt afterwards?
Q. When you masturbate, why does your penis hurt afterwards?...
A. 13 July 2007: Try using lubrication. Try not being so vigorous with yourself too.
I don't have a penis, but I understand it's fairly normal to have a little discomfort, especially if you've been pretty active!... (read in full...)
She has had too many sex partners and it bothers me!
Q. How many partners is ok for a woman to have before it is considered promiscuos? My GF is 23 and has been with 19 guys including myself, it's the fact that she racked up about 15 within 2 years that bothers me the most, all in one night stands.She ...
A. 13 July 2007: Normally, I would say that you shouldn't let the numbers of guys she's been with get to you, as long as you feel you can trust her. The past is the past, and she has to own it, not you. You can't make her feel any differently than she does about ... (read in full...)
Could the fact that I had early sex be the reason I dont orgasm now?
Q. i had my first sex intercourse when i was only 14, i learned to play my ---- when i was just a kid. until now that i'm already 16 and having my regular sex intercourse with my bf, i never experienced orgasm but sometimes, i feel its coming then it ...
A. 12 July 2007: No. A lot of women, and especially younger women do not orgasam easily or at all.
Having sex at a somewhat young age doesn't help or hurt your chances at having an orgasam.
Just relax about it. If you're stressing yourself out about it, then... (read in full...)
I havent heard from him in a week, did he lose interest?
Q. I have been friends with a guy for a few years now, and he gave me his email and told me to keep in touch with him as I was leaving school for the summer. I emailed him a very quick message, just so he knows my email address, and he responded with ...
A. 12 July 2007: Calm down!!! Email is not a very personal form of communication. He may have read your email but didn't see anything worth responding to. Or maybe he got really busy and hasn't had the chance to. Maybe he doesn't like never-ending email ... (read in full...)
I want to join them for the concert, but I dont want to make it awkward
Q. So things are going really great with my girlfriend. We've been dating 3 1/2 months and love each other. During that time, a good friend of her's confessed that he has liked her for a long time, even before she met me. Later he kind of recanted, ...
A. 12 July 2007: I wouldn't go. There will be other concerts, and if you trust them both, which it sounds like you do, then there's nothing to worry about.
If you go, she will feel awkward, he will feel awkward and so will you. So, save everyone the awkw... (read in full...)
I have been married 2 years, but I am still a virgin!
Q. I am in need of urgent help. I am almost 28 years old and married since last two years now. it was a love marriage and we both love each other a lot. But i am still a virgin. I am just so scared of the pain even before we start kissing that i do not ...
A. 12 July 2007: It doesn't hurt that bad!!! Tell him to go very slowly, and try a little at a time. You don't have to take it all at one time. Also get lubrication to help make it less of an issue.
My first time was not painful at all!!!
But, you really s... (read in full...)
My breasts are differant sizes!
Q. Hey, I'm 16, and I have one breast that is a fair bit larger than the other. I suppose that I am still quite young and I am most likely still growing, but will they even out in time? ...
A. 12 July 2007: Most women don't have exactly the same breast size for each breast. Usually, the one corresponding to the side you write with is usually a little more pronounced because of the added muscle under it. Or, it could just be, just because.
In the ... (read in full...)
I don't seem to find any girls or guys attractive! What's wrong with me??
Q. hey! ok,well iv just split up from my first girlfriend. we dated for 6months. i really liked her but we wanted different things so we split up. we're still really good friends but now i don't know if im gay or not? i thought she was gorgeous but now ...
A. 11 July 2007: There's no rush to define yourself!! You will know you're gay if you are one day soon. If you're not, you will know that too. But, it's absolutly ok to not know and to not know for a while! Just relax and don't let the fact that you're not ... (read in full...)
I'm going to a funeral - what should I wear and what flowers should I send?
Q. I am going to a funeral next week. I have not been to many of them(lucky me). I would like some tips on two things. What to wear and what type of flowers to send. There are internet sites with this info but it is nice to get more personal pointers....
A. 11 July 2007: Call your local florist and they'll know what to send.
Black isn't necessary for an outfit, but dark is good. Dark grey, navy, ... etc. A suit,... something more like what you would wear on Sunday for church or Friday synagogue.
I have wor... (read in full...)
My husband treats me and our kids with no respect. Counseling has only made things worse and I can't afford to leave! Now what??
Q. I have been married to my husband for 13 yrs. Many people say oh it has been wonderful yrs for themselves, I cannot. It has been hard. I have no desire for him sexually, he is very short fused, w/ me and our 3 children. he calls them names, that you...
A. 11 July 2007: You have to figure out a way to leave. He doesn't think anything is wrong, because everything is basically staying the same. You're not leaving with the kids. He's obviously not going to change.
At the very, very least, can you send your kids... (read in full...)
Back to square one in getting over my ex after listening to a song she told me to listen to.
Q. I have a problem regarding my ex, basically the backstory is we were together for 7 years, lived together for 2 and two months ago i proposed to her in paris as we had talked about it for years and i felt ready to pop the question, she accepted and ...
A. 11 July 2007: PROTECT YOURSELF. I wouldn't accept texts/emails/letters/phone calls, or anything from her. She obviously isn't an authentic person. What I mean by that, is that if things were starting not to feel right in her opinion, she wasn't letting you ... (read in full...)
After moving away, I flirted with other men. My bf saw photos of it and is now distraught! How can I make it up to him?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been going out for about 14 months. We have had an extremely tough time of it- we spent the first 4 months together, fell madly in love, and then I moved away but we decided to stay together. As a result, over the last year ...
A. 11 July 2007: Consider Been There Done That's advice, and also think of this:
Do you think you are at the right time in your life to handle a long distance relationship? Lot's of people break up simply because one has to move away. You're still young and very... (read in full...)
I discreetly got DNA and the result shows I am not her biological father. I am stunned and do not know what to do.
Q. Just found out my 12 year old daughter is not mine, I was divorced recently and an old friend of my ex wife told me when she had a few drinks . I confronted my ex she said it was rubbish but it has been playing on my mind for months. I discreetly ...
A. 10 July 2007: Big Question:
DOES IT MATTER? Think long and hard about if this means you will leave the 12 year old or not. If this changes how you see your family, and it means you want to "disown" her, then that's one thing. But, if you still feel like her ... (read in full...)
He is so paranoid about getting pregnant!
Q. I'll be 15 very soon and my bf will be 18 in a few months. We want to have sex before it's illegal but he's WAY too paranoid about getting pregnant, he wants to wear TWO condoms AND get on the pill! I know it's a good thing to be careful, but I just ...
A. 10 July 2007: If he's freaked out about getting pregnant with you, then I can't blame him! He should be. He's quite mature for an 18 year old! You should be as paranoid too. If you're not then you may not be ready to have sex. I suggest doing what you have to... (read in full...)
If I meet one of her ex lovers, I get sick. She won't consider my feelings, so how do I deal with this?
Q. I`ve been goin out wit my girl for the last 6 months and she is 19, but before me she slept aith atleast 20 men, and now some of them contact her but everytime i meet someone she been with i get sick, as i imagine them together but she wont ...
A. 10 July 2007: Here's the deal: if she really is "reformed" and you can trust that she's not cheating on you, then you need to get out of the habit of imagining them together. It always feels funny to meet someone's ex, especially if you really like the person ... (read in full...)
Is it against the law to date an 18 year old guy when your 14?
Q. Is it against the law to date an 18 year old guy when your 14?...
A. 9 July 2007: Date, no. Sex, yes.
It's better that you don't mess with the guy anyway.... (read in full...)
He wrote a love letter to his ex, told a friend he wished he could see her "hot friend," and more! I'm jealous and insecure - am I overreacting?
Q. Please help . . . I have been in my relationship for a year and my boyfriend continued to write to his ex girlfriend in Germany. I found one letter (it was not hidden) and it was basically confessing his undying love for her (he has not done tha...
A. 9 July 2007: If you are asking if being concerned and insecure about your relationship is 'over reacting' then I say "Hell No!!" You SHOULD be concerned if he has been writing to his ex professing his love for her! You SHOULD have trouble trusting him after ... (read in full...)
I love my husband even though we've had our bad times but I feel I've missed out on other parts of my life.
Q. I've been married 5 years and got together when I was only 16, I love my husband even though we've had our bad times but I feel I've missed out on other parts of my life. I know I'm being selfish but I can't shake this feeling that there's more to ...
A. 9 July 2007: Now that you've clarified your situation a little more, it's obvious that it is WAY WAY WAY too complicated for some random (but kind-hearted, well-meaning) people to give you advice for.
If he really is beating you, then that HAS TO STOP. If h... (read in full...)
My ex treated me like crap, so I broke up with him. Now he's decided to not speak with me, so how can I get him back?
Q. Hi all, i've been with my bf for 7 months now and i love him so much. however at the beginning he treated me bad, talking to his ex, wouldn't introduce me to his parents. we had a massive argument at the weekend because his friends think he treats ...
A. 9 July 2007: In short: I don't think you should try and get him to talk to you. If your friends think he treated you like crap, and you broke up with him because he treated you like crap, why bother? Move on!... (read in full...)
I love my husband even though we've had our bad times but I feel I've missed out on other parts of my life.
Q. I've been married 5 years and got together when I was only 16, I love my husband even though we've had our bad times but I feel I've missed out on other parts of my life. I know I'm being selfish but I can't shake this feeling that there's more to ...
A. 6 July 2007: It may be true that you have not experienced many things that a typical person who waits to get married has experienced. Dating, breakups, blind dates, going on a date with someone who you are not interested in and waiting for the date to end, ... (read in full...)
Recently she has started taking things further, she asked me last night if I would do her with a fish!!!
Q. Me and my girlfriend have a very close relationship and when we first went out we both had a very high sex drive. I would play with all her sex toys with her. We started experimenting with fruit and other shaft looking objects. it kinda turned me ...
A. 6 July 2007: You can't know if she's serious or not unless you ask her. If she is, then just tell her that you're totally happy experimenting and playing around, but that you've reached your threshold -- your experimental limit. It's ok to say "that's far ... (read in full...)
I had unprotected sex w/ the guy I've been seeing. I want to ask about his sexual past as I'm worried about STDs, but how? It's so awkward!
Q. I feel uncomfortable asking people how many people they have slept with and if they are 'clean'. I have recently been hooking up with this guy and we do like each other but are not ready for a serious relationship quite yet. I feel that I have a ...
A. 3 July 2007: As the others suggested, go to a doc. Yes, I agree. In addition to that, it would still be helpful to know his past, if he's willing to divulge. I suggest sitting down some time when you two can be totally alone. Open a bottle of wine, light some... (read in full...)
How do I get someone out of my head?
Q. Hi, I am from the US; I work full time (40hrs/week), I go to the gym, I read, I go out to the bars on the weekends, I watch movies, I volunteer at a children's hospital on the weekends, etc... But even with doing all this, I still feel overwhelmed ...
A. 3 July 2007: You're doing the right thing by keeping busy. In my experience, you just have to give it time. Try writing about this person in a private journal. Get it all out, and then see if you can function without constant thoughts of them. Hang in there... (read in full...)
Acne issues! Help!
Q. Hi i really have a big problem for 2 years i have had acne and i am only 12 and it is starting to go and it has left marks on my face plz plz can you tell me what i can use to get rid of or atleast fade them away a bit thankx xxxx...
A. 2 July 2007: DERMATOLOGIST!! GO! Now!... (read in full...)
How can I tell her "nicely" (for her own good) to lose some weight?
Q. Hi, My girlfriend and I are both in our early 20s. We have been dating for over a year and we love each other very much. There is one small issue. She has been gaining a few pounds and doesn't seem to be that concerned about it. She doesn't ...
A. 29 June 2007: In a word: no. There is no nice way to suggest that she needs to lose weight. Chances are that she knows she's been gaining, and she also feels that she wants to lose it. But, she may not be at that point in her life yet. If she ever asks you ... (read in full...)
I'm losing touch with my friends and I feel really lonely.
Q. I feel lonely. Apparantly I am on the verge of losing touch with my friends. I belong(ed) to a fairly large group of friends, but lately I've noticed that they rarely contact me. It's always me who calls/emails and suggests meeting up. At first I ...
A. 29 June 2007: I agree with xSarax. Talk to your pals. Pick one or two who you feel closer with, or who will be honest with you. Talk on the phone if you want, or even send an email. One benefit of an email is that it gives you the opportunity to say exactly ... (read in full...)
I became obsessive over him. Now that we've broken up, I can't stop thinking about him.
Q. Please help. Im sorry if this question drags on a little but I really need help. I had a long distance relationship for two and a half years. My boyfriend and I had initially an amazing, intense relationship, then became quite unhealth...
A. 29 June 2007: Saturating your life with the past relationship is like being an alcoholic and having a job as a bartender. I think for now, you need to cut off all communication with him. Kindly ask him to refrain from emailing or calling you and you'll do the ... (read in full...)
I love her but she's left me twice for other men
Q. I dated this girl for just under two years, and in that two years we've lived together, shared our lives, and it seemed to be going perfect. Thats about when she left me for another man, for really no absolute reason, hence she came back to me. I...
A. 29 June 2007: Protect yourself from more of this agony. She has proven that she will leave you for other people, with no regard for your feelings. She has no reason to change, therefore, cut her off. It will, of course, be very difficult to initiate a breakup. ... (read in full...)
I just feel like nothing is going right for us. everything we seem to plan we end up cancelling and I can't help but see a bleak future for us both.
Q. I am in a serious relationship with my boyfriend, we have been together for just over a year. It is a long distance relationship and I am due to move in with him in the next couple of weeks. I have recently started to feel like this is not what...
A. 29 June 2007: Listen to yourself. There are no hard and fast rules. You're allowed to change your mind about moving in -- even a few weeks before. If you feel that you're not ready, for whatever reason, then don't. I almost did something similar, and I ... (read in full...)
I am a shopaholic because I hate having any money
Q. I somehow feel hatred for money and tend to splurge on unnecessary things mainly because i consider it to be root cause or evil that prevented my development needs from being met by my parents / father in first place. My requests were neglected and ...
A. 28 June 2007: The answer is yes, you can overcome your issues.
The fact that you understand the root of your money-hate as well as you do is a really good sign.
First off, you should start going to a psychiatrist or counselor, weekly. A professi... (read in full...)
Raped when I was 12, told the police when I was 15, now having nightmares!!!
Q. Hi. This is going to be long but i have to get it all out.. When i was 12 i went through a rough time. I'm now 16. When i was 12 i was raped, the rapist has never been caught. I only went to the police when i was 15, i was too scared and ashamed ...
A. 27 June 2007: Stick with your counselor. It takes years to get to where you can function normally again. Even when you don't feel like going, or if you don't think it's doing anything, keep going. Give it some time, but keep going to your counselor.
I spea... (read in full...)
Could I have erectile dysfunction from sitting on a bike saddle too much?
Q. I'm 22 and I'm worried that I might have Erectile Dysfunction. Every now and then my penis just wont keep an erection. This really irritates my girlfriend. I have been spinning everyday for about a year and recently read online "A study in 2002 ...
A. 22 June 2007: Actually, I heard the same thing about ED and prolonged bicycle use.
If you're unsure, go to a doc.... (read in full...)
I really need help! I have a real mental problem coping with the fact my boyfriend used to masturbate.
Q. I really need help! I have a real mental problem coping with the fact my boyfriend used to masturbate. I have no idea why but once I asked him if he would do this in front of me and I got so upset that I started crying and I felt so physically sick. ...
A. 21 June 2007: You need to think long and hard about what you feel is wrong with masturbation. Disassociate the act with your boyfriend, and think about only your life experiences. Have you ever masturbated? Have you ever walked in on anyone else masturbating? ... (read in full...)
I want to leave my husband but there are too many other problems in the way
Q. My husband and fell out of love a long time ago. 3 years ago, I decided to leave. I started looking for work b/c I had been a stay at home mom for 11 years and I knew we couldn't afford for me to move out b/c we have a lot of medical bills with one ...
A. 19 June 2007: Can your husband and you sit down together and figure out how you two can separate? Have you already? Are you keeping him involved in the goal to leave yet still keep the kids well cared for?
If not, sit down with him and speak frankly about want... (read in full...)
I only see him 3 nights a week and do want more but get the feeling he doesn't. What should I do?
Q. been seeing a guy for a year on and of,he is just about divorced and i would like to know where i stand with him? his kids are the same age as mine and get on great at school but he doesnt really involve them too much with me.i only see him 3 nites ...
A. 19 June 2007: Ask him now. Waiting will only prolong the agony you're going through. You won't know what he's thinking till you ask and hopefully he will be honest with you.
Good luck.... (read in full...)
My lazy alcoholic wife is making me nuts!
Q. Hi, Been married for 14 years now, 3 three lovely preteen/teen girls who are my life. My wife and I have had lots of ups and downs - in the past, mostly down to me I think. I had lots of issues lying to her about things (mostly money stuff,no ...
A. 19 June 2007: Having one happy, sane and self-aware parent on the road to recovery is more important to a child (especially preteen/teenage) than having two miserable parents who are living under the same roof. Staying with your wife is enabling her to continue ... (read in full...)
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