My lazy alcoholic wife is making me nuts!
Q. Hi, Been married for 14 years now, 3 three lovely preteen/teen girls who are my life. My wife and I have had lots of ups and downs - in the past, mostly down to me I think. I had lots of issues lying to her about things (mostly money stuff,no ...
A. 19 June 2007: Having one happy, sane and self-aware parent on the road to recovery is more important to a child (especially preteen/teenage) than having two miserable parents who are living under the same roof. Staying with your wife is enabling her to continue ... (read in full...)
How do I know if I am gay and how can I become straight again?
Q. I am so worried. I think, I really do not know, but I think that I might be gay. It scares the hell out of me, I don't want to be gay!! I've got a girlfriend and I love her but I am so confused. I cannot talk to ANYONE about this. How can I become s...
A. 19 June 2007: Yummy is right. If you're honest with yourself and an authentic person, you can't make yourself straight. You are what you are.
There is nothing wrong with being gay, bi, or straight. There is also nothing wrong with not knowing if you're any ... (read in full...)
I have a milky discharge from my breast
Q. Hi im 14 years old and when i squeeze 1 of my breats white liquid comes out. Is this normal????? its kinda like milk but im not pregnant or anything. Discharge it could be? help. ...
A. 19 June 2007: It's always better to be safe, so go ahead and go to a doctor. It could just be milk because even when you're not pregnant, you still have a little milk in your breasts. But, there's no way to know that for sure unless you go to a doctor. ... (read in full...)
Will birth control for cramps stop my gf from becoming pregnant?
Q. I have a question about birth control. My girl friend uses birth control to stop the cramps and such but we have been having sex lately and she wants me to come inside her. Says it feels good. But on birth control for cramps, does this still pr...
A. 19 June 2007: Birth control can be used for many different reasons. Sometimes to ease cramps, sometimes to clear up acne or breakouts, and also as a form of birth control.
If it's really birth control she's taking, even if it's for cramps, then it's still goin... (read in full...)
I have a massive crush on my maybe married teacher!!!
Q. I have a MASSIVE crush on a male teacher at my school, he's like the fittest person ever, however this is the cause of uncontrollable consequences... For starters, recently i've noticed that whenever i stare at him he looks back - I love this eye...
A. 19 June 2007: Teacher crushes are totally normal. But, you're apparently 13-15 years old. At his youngest, your teacher could be in his early 20s.
A relationship with you would be terribly risky for him on so many different levels. He would loose his job, get ... (read in full...)
He abuses me all the time, especially when I don't respond to the names he calls me. I don't know what to do. Any advice?
Q. I fell for one of my close friends a while ago and he realised this and forced me to admit it to him (which i did). Before he knew for sure, we used to joke and have fun. Since then so much has changed and he abuses me all the time. I'm not sure ...
A. 18 June 2007: You haven't done anything to make him do this to you. Nothing. I don't know you, but I know deep down that you haven't done a single thing.
Think of it this way, if he can get you to think that it's all your fault, then you will stay with him and ... (read in full...)
I've asked him out but he says he just want to have fun!
Q. i split up with my boyfriend about 6 months ago, and when my work mates found out they were really cool and tried cheering me up. yet there was one bloke name "john" who suddenly started talking to me and tryin it on saying he fancied me since i ...
A. 16 June 2007: I'm with Straightup. You did the right thing setting your boundaries. You know better than anyone what is good for you and what you should do. It's soon to go back into another relationship, not to mention he already said he's in it for fun. ... (read in full...)
It's really love... I'm 15 and he's 30
Q. I'm in love, I just know and feel it, the only problem is the guy is 15 years older than I am. (I'm 15 he's 30) I know its crazy for me to say I am in love but I am. We don't have a "real" relationship,I didn't want him to get in trouble from bei...
A. 15 June 2007: If this is just a crush and you and he have not done anything, then that's one thing. It's ok for you to be interested in or curious about older men. But there should not be any relationship beyond a purely friendly one. If you and he do in fa... (read in full...)
We have a baby, we have a flat..we were so happy! Then one day he just dumped me..what can I do?
Q. my partner and i have been together for 5 years, we have a baby and are buying a flat together. everything was going well, we wernt arguing and were acting as loved up and romantic as always. last weekend he took me for a meal and was telling me h...
A. 15 June 2007: Don't blame yourself!!! Don't let his irrational and inconsiderate behavior make you feel that there's something wrong with you, or that you're not good enough. There is no way for any of us here to know what he's thinking. He could have some ... (read in full...)
I feel like im the only one that's trying in this relationship.
Q. I am diagnosed with Dysthymia (depression) and my relationship is going well down hill. My partner of over 10 months makes me feel as though I am just another person in the crowd. He doesnt make me feel special anymore and his distance has extended...
A. 15 June 2007: Get thee to a counselor or psychiatrist.
There isn't really anything anyone can say here to help you if you're cutting yourself and you're acting out like an anorexic. You are not just "sensitive" as you said. You have a problem which can only... (read in full...)
Dealing with the 'other' woman and all her lies! How do I help a family member affected by this?
Q. It has been a pretty crazy week for the majority of people I know and myself. My cousin recently found out she has been working with a girl my daughter's father cheated on me. She's been bragging to other co-workers about my daughter's fathe...
A. 15 June 2007: Hopefully it will all blow over if your cousin gets in trouble at her job. You never know how a boss will handle things, but she should be fine especially with the witnesses. As you suggest, having the witnesses write down, or just talk to the ... (read in full...)
My ex-husband's womanizing is unsuitable for our 18 month old daughter
Q. I called my daughter's father to discuss a concern that's been on my mind. When I called, I was civil with him. Spoke at a decent tone of voice. I told him I am really uncomfortable with exposing my daughter around women that's coming in...
A. 15 June 2007: Crying is all fine and good, but actions speak louder than words (and crying). Trust is something that gradually builds between people. If you don't trust his judgement, yet he is crying and seeming like he wants to change his ways, I wouldn't ... (read in full...)
Help..I resent his young sons and I am being selfish! I want this man all to myself!
Q. i love the man im am living with but feel very insecure with his relationship with his two son's who live with their mam and stay with us every other weekend,i think he puts them on a pedistol too much and get defensive when i say negative things ...
A. 15 June 2007: I think you need to back off. Get your jealousy under control immediately, for your sake, his sake, and for the children. It will always be, as it should be, that your husband's children will always come before you, especially when the children ... (read in full...)
Why is he leading me on like this? Does he want an affair?
Q. I've had a long term friend that I met in Bali, Indonesia...a good looking, handsome, blue eyed surfer ..square jaw...almost resembiling a young Rober Redford type...wow, the day I walked by that restaraunt I had to take a double take twice...and I ...
A. 15 June 2007: If you're both in a relationship, you can't really do much. The fact that you're considering him makes me think that you may not feel 100% confident in your current mate. If that's so, then maybe you should move on, or at the very least, ... (read in full...)
'Now' is ok but I know this wont last forever!!!
Q. I almost definetly moved in with my boyfriend before I was ready and two years down the line I'm dealing with the consequences. The thing is although I don't feel I want to split with him, and broadly speaking we are happy - I find it difficul...
A. 15 June 2007: I think it is unfair to him and yourself to stay in a relationship that you know won't last.
#1 You don't need a reason to break up with someone. If you just don't feel he's "the one" then that's enough of a reason.
#2 You don't want to waste... (read in full...)
How can I make myself feel good?
Q. I needed some advice, I try to make myself feel good by buying new clothes, makeup etc. but I just feel that nothing ever looks good on me, I become fussy over the clothes and often just return them. I'm a size 10, but I just don't think I look good ...
A. 15 June 2007: A good way to start feeling good about yourself? As Jess and Yummy said, it's a low self-esteem. There are larger people who are over-weight who still feel that they are beautiful. (And because they feel that way, they are beautiful...)
It's a to... (read in full...)
Talked to this guy for a year online, now I can meet someone else..what should I do?
Q. i have a bit of an online problem. I have been talking to two lads (never met either of them) i am very close to both of them and the 1st one luke we have been talking for about a year now and we are very very close we talk on the phone and were ...
A. 15 June 2007: If you're not actually dating Luke, but you're just close friends, you don't have to tell him straight away that you're gonig to meet someone else. But, if you start finding that you like this other guy Paul, and start getting into what seems like ... (read in full...)
I'm a 21 year old female, who's been told she 'intimidates men', but I'm not even sure how I do it.
Q. I was just wondering if I could get some male input here. I'm a 21 year old female, who's been told she 'intimidates men', but I'm not even sure how I do it. If a women were to initimidate you or scare you off, how would she do it? Im not the kind...
A. 15 June 2007: I'm not a man, but I've been told the same thing before.
Sometimes intelligent, talented and/or secure women intimidate some men who are looking for a woman who they feel they can take care of. If they feel you're more intelligent than they are... (read in full...)
Am i wrong to just let them be??
Q. I am a single middle divorced female with 3 grown children ages 35,30,3l,1 boy the eldest and 2 girls. I believe my problem initially stems from a messy, spiteful divorce approx 20 years ago which left many scars and unresolved issues. My problem ...
A. 15 June 2007: Tough situation.
To start off: I think you did the right thing by helping your son with the loan and mortgage help. I also think you did the right thing by setting some boundaries regarding the time-table for repayment and relinquishment for ... (read in full...)
Don't I deserve a chance too??
Q. Just to recap this is the question i asked and got answers for: Tell me something, if a man breaks up with someone, decides to move on, finds a new girlfriend and they are both happy, and then suddenly the ex says that she is pregnant with his chil...
A. 15 June 2007: Same answers apply from your last question. It's not about you, it's about the child.
Just be a bigger person, let him do what he feels is the right thing to do, respect that, and move on. Do your best to get past the hurt.
Good luck.... (read in full...)
Going on a clubbing holiday and gonna get laid... I need some tips!
Q. im going on holiday soon and i am still a virgin. Im going on a clubbing holiday and i really want to have sex. has any1 got any tips?...
A. 15 June 2007: harshbutfair got it pretty correct, as far as I can tell. One thing I would add:
If you aspire to bonking some girl (or guy...) don't drink too much. It makes it very difficult to get very far or do very much.... (read in full...)
She's told me her bf will be at our place a lot, when we get to this new flat. I don't like this. Any advice?
Q. so my friend and i are moving up north for college together. we are going to be living together in an apartment or house. my problem is her boyfriend is going to the same college we are and she has already told me that he will probably be over a ...
A. 14 June 2007: If what you're really worried about it being a 3rd wheel, don't sweat it: If you're starting college, you will find more new friends than you will know what to do with! Of course, your roomie and her bf will be your only friends when you first get ... (read in full...)
Problems about climaxing, way too soon..
Q. i always seem to climax a lot sooner when i am with someone than when i am not. i know some of it is natural, but if my boyfriend and i do stuff, i dont want to look lame. what can i do?...
A. 14 June 2007: There are lotions at sex shops (although you may not be old enough to get in!), which are called desensitizing lotions that help you last longer. Maybe you can buy them online...
Or, you could tell your boyfriend that you find him so attr... (read in full...)
My Nan seems to love winding us all up... worried one day I'll say something hurtful!
Q. Ok this is more of a rant so I will apologise now. I just got off the phone with my Nan, my Dad's mum. She seems to love winding us all up. I know she only does it because she cares but I'm scared one day I'll say something hurtful to her. ...
A. 14 June 2007: Sounds like most (including my own) families. Can't do much about it either. Just remember that she doesn't take up much time in your life -- only as long as it takes to talk to her on the phone. If you can get through those times, then just ... (read in full...)
He's been having a sex-text relationship with an old work friend!
Q. i feel betrayed as i found out my parnter had been having a sexual text relationship with an old work friend that lasted a few months,i discovered this only a month ago however this relationship started last october few weeks after our sons ...
A. 14 June 2007: Just a few words:
Infidelity can occur physically AND emotionally. If he's engaging in sexual texting with another person, then I consider that infidelity, and I would treat it as such.
Good luck with that one.... (read in full...)
How do two women have sex?
Q. Hi! My friends laugh at me and I don't know who else to ask... I just discoverd that my older sister has a girlfriend (well, I was wondering before, it is not a shock) and they will somehow get married to eachother. I don't mind, but it just mak...
A. 14 June 2007: They scissor!
Just kidding.
There are a number of ways to have "sex." A man's penis in a woman's vagina, a man's penis in another person's mouth, a woman's vagina in another person's mouth... you get the idea. There are more ways than that, bu... (read in full...)
Do I stick around as his friend or let go??
Q. hi.... I currently have a friend who lives quite far away, i met him through my friend (he's a relative). We met a couple of years ago, then last december started talking online and on the phone a lot. We talked for hours at a time, most conversa...
A. 14 June 2007: First thing: You need to figure out why you're falling for a drug addict. What is it about your life, how you were raised, etc that now makes you attracted to an addict?
Then: Decide if the relationship is good for you. Not if it makes you feel... (read in full...)
I dont want to date her anymore, let alone go to the dinner party, how do I get out of it politely ?
Q. I've been invited to a dinner party ona date yet to be confirmed with the girl I've been seeing. I suggested dates I could make. It's primarily her friends attending the dinner. I no longer want to see this girl and I don't want to go to the ...
A. 14 June 2007: The "last minute" trick always works. This one works especially well since the party is mostly her friends, and she could still go stag if she wanted to. Plan to go with her up until the last min and think of some viable emergency that has come ... (read in full...)
Do I ask him to get the tests done or come off the pill and let nature do its thing!?
Q. help i posted a question a while back about my new man not being able to have kids and me wanting another baby, well after speaking about it again he has never had any tests done to prove this he was with his ex for 4 years and for 3 of them they ...
A. 14 June 2007: I suggest that the two of you sit down and decide together if he should get some testing done. Tell him how much you want a baby, but you're not sure how to address the issue. Ask him if he'd be willing to undergo some tests to determine if he has ... (read in full...)
My inadequacies and insecurties are causing me to kill the relationship... Please please help!!
Q. Hi, I am feeling really insecure about myself, i doubt my ability to do anything and cannot seem to look positive at anything? I have a wonderful girlfreind and I am beginning to affect this relationship because I am jealous and insecure.. I fee...
A. 14 June 2007: You need to take all that focus you're putting on how much better your girlfriend is than you and apply that to yourself. Nothing turns a woman off more than a needy, insecure man. Likewise, an independent, secure man is a REAL turn-on. Believe ... (read in full...)
I dont know what to do, my partner is pregnant and still smoking! I'm healthy and getting sick of the smell!!
Q. My partner is pregnant and has not stopped smoking - she also drinks occasionally a few drinks at a time...i've kind of got my head round it a bit. However I live with her at her place and hate her smoking when i'm at home - nevermind being bad for ...
A. 14 June 2007: You've mentioned it a little bit?! Only a little bit? Before you go posting on a board asking for advice, you should have already had a "come to jesus" session with her, as we say over here.
Treat the situation as seriously as you feel. Sit her ... (read in full...)
Is my hang-up on older guys just a phase??
Q. I have never really talked about guys as much as i have until now. I've worked at a family business since I was 10 years old. I take care of the customers and tend the store just about every day of my life. And I'm wondering if thats affectin...
A. 14 June 2007: Totally normal. I dated men older than myself from the beginning. I was 15, he was 18. I was 19, he was 29. I was 21, he was 34. I was 24, he was 38.
Then it all changed. I left a man who was 13 years my senior, who I was engaged to. It ... (read in full...)
He needs space before the next step and I am so confused!!
Q. My boyfirend of three years has asked for some time. We are supposed to move in together this December and i am starting school by his house this summer. He said that he loves me but just wnats to be sure that this is it. We still talk a little on ...
A. 14 June 2007: Hang in there. If he needs space, then you have no choice but to give it to him. There's not really anything you can do but give him what he wants. If you get pushy and start to crowd him, he may push you away harder. So, let him have what he ... (read in full...)
Should a guy go back to his pregnant ex, even if he loves someone else?
Q. Tell me something, if a man breaks up with someone, decides to move on, finds a new girlfriend and they are both happy, and then suddenly the ex says that she is pregnant with his child does he have to leave this new love and go back to the other ...
A. 13 June 2007: I think the man owes it to his child to try and work it out with the mother. If they try a relationship once more and can make it work, then that's great for the child. If they try a relationship and find it's not working, then he can see of the ... (read in full...)
What are the dating rules for belching and farting?
Q. I need your help. I have started the process of dating after being widowed. I am now in my mid 40's and dating has changed significantly... I recently met a man online and we have been seeing each other for 2 months now. Things are going...
A. 13 June 2007: There are no hard and fast rules. Some people are fine with it, some are not.
If you two have talked about it and find that you don't agree, then try talking about it again to find a compromise. Don't let the subject get giggly, but take it ... (read in full...)
Is my husband making a mountain out of a molehill by complaining about these things?
Q. Been married for 5 years together for 7, I have a 19 1/2 year old son and a 171/2 year old daughter, their real dad (a lowlife but they love him) only lives 20 minutes away. My current husband, I feel targets my 20 year old constantly with tedious ...
A. 13 June 2007: It seems like you already answered all your questions.
When it comes to raising kids, in general, there is no real wrong or right (within reason, of course). As long as you do your best, care for them and support them, they will turn out how they... (read in full...)
People give me dirty looks and it bothers me
Q. I need help on this situation. When I go out to a restaurant or just walk around some people give me dirty looks or just stare at me like I'm a museum exhibit. This really bothers me and its rude. Is this a sign of hatred or weirdness? Please help! ...
A. 13 June 2007: Not knowing what you look like, your hygiene, how you dress, etc makes it difficult to say much.
This may sound funny, but go to someone you trust and who has a sense of style you like. If you don't have any friends like that, then go to a make... (read in full...)
His behaviour has changed and everyone is telling me to break it off with him... but I can't!!
Q. Dear Cupid, I am madly in love with my boyfriend. I would do anything for him. Over the last 8 months or so he has been under house arrest while attending college 2 hours away. I spent every weekend driving to see him even though I myself have a v...
A. 12 June 2007: I'm sure all the time you spent driving to see him, all the energy you spent comforting him, supporting him is immeasurable. I bet that comfort you provided came from a place of love and generosity.
It's a shame your boyfriend is taking you and ... (read in full...)
I feel like I'm just her security blanket if this other guy doesn't work out.
Q. I'd been dating this woman for 2 years. I proposed to her in February (after encouragement by her and substancial discussion) and she accepted. In early May she met a guy via an online internet game. He sent her his picture, and she was excl...
A. 12 June 2007: First off, I think you're right. You are acting as her security blanket.
I can identify with her ambiguity. I've been in a situation where I was with someone who just wasn't right for me, even though I loved him, liked him, loved the security he p... (read in full...)
I have the biggest crush on my son's primary school teacher
Q. I have the biggest crush on my son's primary school teacher. I've not done anything about because i don't know if it's allowed. Is a teacher allowed to get involved with one of their students parents? If so what is the best way for me to approa...
A. 12 June 2007: Go for it. :) Let him be the one to tell you if it's an inappropriate relationship. Maybe he's planning on leaving after this year, or maybe he'll like you so much it could turn into an exciting secretive love affair! Or maybe not. But, you ... (read in full...)
I found out my husband was having an affair for 6 months
Q. I emailed a couple of weeks ago that i found out my husband had been haveing an affair for 6 months.we are talking and that does seem to help but it doesnt,im confused as i am still sleeping with my husband and telling him i love him is all of this ...
A. 12 June 2007: Your feelings are totally normal. I suggest you let a marriage counseler help out. At the very least, a counselor will make sure that your voice is heard, and will make sure everyone plays fair. 6 months is a long time to maintain an affair.... (read in full...)
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