A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Something happend to me last Saturday and I am trying to process it in my head. I am still in shock. I went to a very good friends birthday party.Because it was a house party and I planned to stay in their spare bedroom for the night, I got really drunkthinking I would just crash there.As the night was winding down, My friend's (who i love and trust) had a business partner who I was aquainted with, told me to go back to her house for an afterparty. They all are super rich and successful, and because they talked about how beautiful their house was, I thought why not.I didn't want the party to end anyway. I thought a lot of people were going to meet therebut it turned out to be her and her husband and another couple that I was aquainted with through my good friend. Because I was drunk, I danced the night away to the music they were playing. Next thing I know, we moved into the theater room, and porn was playing on the screen. I was fascinated because i don't watch porn much, but this porn video looked like it was made movie quality. Not the cheap looking kind. Then the two couples started kissing each other, and started have sex. They asked me if i wanted to joined. I was drunk out of my mind, and because i have been single for 1 year and haven't had sex in a long time, I made the worse decision of my life. Basically I had an orgy with these people sleeping with a woman for the first time and her husband. The next morning I woke up with such a sinking sick feeling to my stomache. I haven't told anyone and afraid to tell my good friends who know these couple. I feel so embarrass and ashamed of myself.I am thinking of cutting my friendship with my good friend because I don't want to face the two couples again. ....At first I thought if I did this, I would discover my sexuality and come out of my shell.Now, I am just disgusted with myself. A part of me feels taken advantage of because of my drunken state. The other part can't blame anyone but myself. How do I get through this and what should I do. Is having an orgy and form of loving one another.or is it plain wrong sick and disgusting. I am so confused. any advice is helpful. thank you.
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 July 2009): Tell your friend
A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 July 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionmy friend had no idea about it. The next morning he kept asking me what happenend and if i was okay. But i was too embarrassed and ashamed to say anything. I said i didn't remember.
i want to thank you for all the responses. It helped me out a lot. This is definitely a one time thing. I am grateful we all used protectection and i am not worried about STD.
my friends always tell me I am too hard on myself, and I guess that I am. I was conflicted, and I will take it as a
learning experience. thanks
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 July 2009): I'd sure stop seeing your friend if she was involved - that's not a friend. Your friend should look after you in that state, not encourage you back to a house where it sounds like this was all pre-planned! Again, you can't turn back time but you now know this is something you don't like and I don't blame you
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A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (14 July 2009):
 You answered your own question. Hadn't had sex for a year, so you did it. That's not being taken advantage of, that's making a choice to do what you may not have done under different circumstances.
I personally wouldn't take part in something like this, but that's my preference. Some people do so often, find it enjoyable, and even strengthening the sexual satisfaction in their marriage. I guess right and wrong, disgusting or not depends on your personal view. It can also be viewed as a sexual experience whether or not you choose to do something like this again.
I agree with the other poster who says that you are being to hard on yourself. This experience shouldn't ruin your life.
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A
male
reader, baddogbj  +, writes (14 July 2009):
 It's not wrong, sick or disgusting so long as everyone was happy at the time and no one got hurt. Don't judge yourself.
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A
female
reader, pinktopaz +, writes (14 July 2009):
I think you're using being drunk as your crutch as to why you did it. You said something about wanting to come out of your shell...you were curious. So since you were drunk, you didn't care and thought you wouldn't try it. It impairs your judgement, it's not like you didn't know what you were doing, you just didn't care and you had "liquid courage." It's like when people cheat on their significant other and say, "But I was sooooo drunk." Oh please, spare me.
Anyway, don't worry about it. Sometimes we do things we later on regret, especially after a long night of drinking. It's not like you flashed people and you normally wouldn't, you actually had sex with people you didn't know. It happens. And now you know...you've experienced this situation and you know it's something you don't like. Don't be too hard on yourself, shit happens.
As for seeing your friend; your friend probably has no idea. Just next time if she has some type of party or gathering, just ask who's going to be there. If she mentions them, then pass if you don't want to see them. You don't need to tell her why.
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A
female
reader, Mugzie69 +, writes (14 July 2009):
 OK so people do stupid things when they are drunk. But even so, you were fascinated by the porn. You were long overdue for release. The others provided the setting and then an invitation. You accepted. Was the alcohol a factor? Sure it was. But it was only ONE factor. Is it possible that at some level, you were at least a little open to this? You'll have to answer that for yourself.
But I wouldn't beat up on yourself. You were invited and accepted; but you don't have to do an encore if you don't want that. I'd chalk it up to experience. I certainly wouldn't lose a friendship over this.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 July 2009): You said you thought if you did it, you'd discover your sexuality and come out of your shell. So in a way it's good that you did it and found out that this isn't what you need to discover those things in yourself. It's all experience, you shouldn't feel bad about yourself, especially because you were drunk. Since you don't want to do it again ever, avoid any situations and warning signs in your future experience.
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male
reader, Yosambo +, writes (14 July 2009):
Well, you were single, so you didn't cheat on a BF or a spouse. Did you have a good time? I know how it must feel though, that feeling of dirty guilt and shame. I would advise not speaking with them again. They may assume you'll want to partake in another orgy or a threesome. But if they're super rich, go to another orgy, find someway to videotape it, and then blackmail them if at all possible.
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 July 2009): First, you need to stop judging yourself. You did what you did and you can't change the past. Forgive yourself so that you can move on, and don't dwell in the past. Think what can you learn from this experience. Maybe you will be more careful and selective with your friends. Maybe you won't get so drunk the next time you go out. Just see the good in every situation no matter how sick and awful it may seem. I am sure this will make you a better person so don't mistreat yourself by putting you down. I hope this helps :)
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