A
female
age
41-50,
*reamygirl
writes:I have a question that I would like the men to answer primarily (but ladies, too, if you have insight into my question). I am a thin lady, I will admit, but there is something that men say to me a lot that, quite frankly, I don't know how to take. I am about 5'5", 110 lbs., and men say things like, "You're so delicate looking," or "You're so fragile." They do say it as if it's a compliment, but I never know how to respond. Is this a compliment? Do you men like "delicate" women, and, if so, why would this be so attractive to men? I just wanted some opinions on this. What do you say, men? Thanks for your opinions! Reply to this Question
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male
reader, baddogbj  +, writes (29 July 2009):
 I think that you're are pretty much right. The media portrays things that way because that is the prevailing orthodoxy and because the media is run by that kind of person and of course because some men really do want that kind of woman. There is this unfortunate idea these days that men and women are basically the same but the fact is that we're not and as far as I'm concerned the more different we are the more interesting and fulfilling life is likely to be for all concerned. I don't mean by this that there should be ANY restrictions put on women, every woman should behave and do exactly the way that she chooses but it is unfortunate that in the west there is a connection made between women being successful and tough and being masculine in their approach.I'm sitting here with a friend who can't weigh more than 95 lbs, she is as delicate looking and feminine as can be (despite being 30 and having a 9 year old daughter) and yet from the age of 8 until she was 17 she ran a hill farm in sichuan single handed after her father lost his sight, she cut the crops, she herded sheep, she killed the sheep, she walked 5 miles to market to sell chickens eggs and herbs, there's no ball-breaking, hard-drinking female advertising executive that can beat her on toughness. Another friend here - beautiful and slight - made US$30 million before she was 35. She is a very tough and effective negotiator but she does it with a very feminine touch. She knows and I certainly know that she is smarter, more effective and tougher than I am but when I go to visit her she makes Chinese tea for me and acts like a Chinese lady and treats me as a man and I respect her the more for it than I would if she was slapping me on the back, swearing and wanting to have a beer.
A
female
reader, Dreamygirl +, writes (25 July 2009):
Dreamygirl is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks to all you lovely men out there who have responded (please, keep giving me your opinion). Something I'd like to clarify, though. These men are definitely saying this to me in a positive manner, and it is not about my demeanor - it is totally physical. I guess I've always doubted or wondered why a man would want a "delicate" woman (which sort of has "weak" connotations to me, but maybe I'm wrong). It just seems the media portrays men being attracted to "strong" women, but maybe real men are, in general, not attracted to these women. Sometimes people just describe me as having a "delicate beauty." So, maybe I just make these guys feel like a man, right?
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A
male
reader, Red Green 0289 +, writes (25 July 2009):
They're trying to be nice, so please take it that way.
Some folks are a bit insensitive about making comments about people's appearences... they have no clue that you're likely to hear the same type of comments year after year...
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A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (25 July 2009):
 Some women are a lot smaller then men. Not just height but their entire build. If I was the same height I would still be a LOT heavier without being fat.
This can give a feeling that you could snap a woman's arm. My gf who is almost my height cannot get her hand around my wrist but I can easily wrap her arm.
It can give a sensation of "me Tarzan, you Jane".
On the other hand, there can also be a feeling that she is going to snap. Human bones don't break easily but when you can easily wrap your hand around hers...
So, yes, it could be a compliment or it could be an admission that they think of you as to frail to be able to survive sex. Think rotweiler vs poodle. More solidly build women often give the image that they can handle themselves.
I think some women enjoy the thought of their man being protective of them and some men enjoy the thought of their woman looking to them for protection.
We are programmed to take care of those weaker then us. If a 2 meter tall guy is lying dying on the street people just are irritated for blocking traffic but if a 1.50 female has a sniffle we call an ambulance.
The guys in question might mean that you create a feeling that they have to protect you. Of course, there is a difference wether they feel they to protect you as a wife or as a baby sister.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 July 2009): i would not say that as a compliment to a woman myself. That does not mean you should take it as an insult.I would say that to a woman that is small, timid, shy, ect. Next time a man says that to you just ask if he intends that to be a compliment cause it is not flattering.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 July 2009): Men, heterosexual men want to take care of things that are precious. If you appear overly fragile a manly man is going to feel that he must encapsulate you in a bubble of protection. They would have to treat you as a delicate person. You'd be like the rose in St. Exupery's tale of "The Little Prince." A very romantic starting point.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 July 2009): Hello dreamygirl,It could be that they do find you rather thin and are letting you know in a "delicate" way. It could maybe also be a compliment. Maybe you should ask them next time what exactly it is they mean. Don't be shy. Just ask. Truth is that some men like thin women, others like thicker women and then you have those in between. I, personally, enjoy thin women myself as they are a little more "manageable" during sex. They can be lifted up easily for great grinding and thrusting while standing up and I find it is easier for many other positions as well. I know there are some heavier woman who are quite flexible themselves. So it all depends. Like I said, every man has a different taste. I had a girlfriend who was 5'4" and weighed 108 pounds. I can tell you that sex was amazing with her. Believe me, I tore that ass up!
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A
male
reader, RAINORFIRE +, writes (25 July 2009):
 It seems like these men that say that to you are flirting, you may be more petite then average. You should take it as a compliment if you want to be bold come back with a witty remark to throw them off there game. As for looks i would have to say the general consensus is that thin is in, not trying to sound shallow but simply from a genetics point of view thin people tend to be healthier compared to overweight people it would make since for men to be geared toward wanting to mate with thin women for that reason. As a christian i beleive Eve was beautiful physically flawless, and so to this day Sons of Adam still seek out that perfection in a woman but its in vain for eons of deterioration and impurities in the genetic stream has taken its toll on the fairer sex,and vice versa us men arent so perfect these days either.hope that helps with your question
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A
male
reader, baddogbj +, writes (25 July 2009):
It's a compliment - without doubt - say thank you! In the same way that each woman has different things that they look for in a man, each man is looking for different things in women and some of us, but certainly not all and maybe not even a majority, particularly like the slim and delicate aesthetic. Often the men that feel this way will tend to be large and un-delicate themselves and will see in a small and delicate woman something beautiful (and unlike themselves) that they can protect. Based on observation on recent trips to your country there are probably far fewer women in the US that fit this description than there are men looking for it. Incidentally, everything is relative, my wife is almost exactly the same size as you about 5'5" and little under 110 lbs (well done her - 3 children under 8!) but where we live she's considered quite large.
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