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What is your definition of love?

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Question - (5 March 2007) 13 Answers - (Newest, 27 April 2007)
A female United Kingdom age 36-40, anonymous writes:

My question is short and concise;

What is love?

I know that there is no text book definition of love, and that there's no right or wrong answer to that. I've always wondering and was just thinking what everybody else here thought.

Thanks. =)

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A female reader, Keria United Kingdom +, writes (27 April 2007):

Oh, and by the way, as for Text Books, and not being a definition, the Bible is a great text book. I've already quoted from it, and it helps us to understand what love is and is not. If you want to see good examples of what love can be and what it is not, read 1 Corinthians 13. It's a great authority on love.

If you want to read some good examples of erotic love, read through the Song of Solomon in the Old Testament part of the Bible. It's one of my favorite books. It's kind of short, but I've used it myself to get turned on from time to time! What straight woman wouldn't want a lover like the guy in the Song of Solomon!

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A female reader, Keria United Kingdom +, writes (27 April 2007):

First off, Hollywood is totaly wrong!

If you "fall in love" you are infatuated. It's a chemical reaction or emotional response. This is fun and can create amazing feelings! We've all been there. But it's nothing to do with love at all. Seriously, it is no more than infatuation.

Now, you can love someone with whom you have become infatuated, and that's fine... but it doesn't have to be that way.

In the Christian scriptures, love is a very high thing.. not a base hollywood thing.

Look at this: "Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself for it" Notice something here, that's a COMMAND! Does that sound like Hollywood? Imagine today, commanding someone to love, if love where a feeling! How can you command someone to have a certain emotional response? It would be a ludicrous command, if love were a feeling.

Now look at this: "Older women, teach the younger women to love their husbands" Huh? How's that possible if love is a feeling. No, it's something that can be commanded, and something that can be learned. This is a far cry from the modern concept of love, don't you think?

Many marriages were arranged in the past by parents. In some cultures they still are. Yet, even in those situations, a man can love his wife, and a woman can love her husband.

Now if you love someone, you will not treat them as a slave. This is a modern concept of love. "I love you soooo much that I want your freedom to be restricted. I want you to have feelings only for me, from now until you die. You must be accountable for me for who you talk to, who you spend your time with, and who you let touch you. I own you now!" My God, this is the farthest thing from love. No wonder there are so many divorces today when people go into marriage without a proper concept of love.

Anyway, I hope you find this somewhat helpful..

I'll sum up by saying, Love is not a feeling, it's an act of the will. Got that? Oh, and lest I forget, Love is NOT sex, and sex is NOT love.

There. Now don't confuse the two!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (27 April 2007):

when u love someone u are goin to no because you could just tell like u just start getin this funny feelin in your stomach and you do things that u thought you will never do!sometimes love can feel sooooooooo good but then love can also hurt soooooooooooo bad!!!!It is a good thing to be in love you jus have to no your limits!

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A female reader, TakeItOrLeaveIt South Africa +, writes (6 March 2007):

TakeItOrLeaveIt agony auntOh my gosh Eve that was beautiful!!!!! hehe its such a perfect definition!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (6 March 2007):

Eve what a brilliant reply, that's the best definition of Love I have ever read, I agree 100%!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (6 March 2007):

Love is when you'd sacrafice your most prized possesion for them, an insult to them is an insult to you, when you're with them there is no place you'd rather be. You'd be with that person through thick and thin, good times and bad times.

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A female reader, vina_101 United Kingdom +, writes (6 March 2007):

vina_101 agony auntMy definition of love (you might not agree) is when: you think about the person when you wake up in the morning. They are still on your mind during the day and they are the last person you think of before you go to sleep at night. You would do almost anything for that person if it would make them happy. When you'd inconvenience yourself for their sake (eg. their car broke down at 4 in the morning in the middle of nowhere, you'd still come and get them. lol). You'd risk your life for that person if they were in danger. You'd give your life for that person if it meant they would live. When it saddens you to see them sad, when you see them cry you feel like crying too. Just seeing this person makes you happy. You miss them when they are away. And also when you can't bear the thought of not having them in your life.

That's my definition in brief. :)

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A male reader, Cheese New Zealand +, writes (6 March 2007):

Cheese agony auntmy love definition is;

Love is wanting to do everything possible for your partner, to be there slave, but knowing that they would never ask you to do so.

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A female reader, AskEve United Kingdom +, writes (6 March 2007):

AskEve agony auntTo love a person, first and foremost you must KNOW them personally. Lots of teenagers say they "love" a celebrity or are "in love" with them but of course this can't be, they love the idea of who they are but if they've never met them then it's just a crush or infatuation.

Real love on the other hand is very different. If you truly love someone then you respect them for who they are, warts and all. You want to look after them and protect them, you look out for them and put them first. You feel happy and content in their company and enjoy being together. Above all you can be yourself when you're with them. You never try to be anything more or someone different because you don't need to. You don't have to impress them to win them over and you never have to play games to make them like you. There is trust and understanding on both sides and you feel safe and secure within yourself. You would never undermine them, they are not someone in whose company you feel threatened or small. They are someone with whom you can share your innermost thoughts and worries, a person with whom you should be able to share anything, they are your friend and your confidante and you can be honest with them at all times, you can tell them anything because they love you as you are.

He/she may be someone who is the direct opposite of you. On the surface you may seem like chalk and cheese. Whilst you may be loud and forceful they may be quiet and thoughtful. You may come from different backgrounds, different countries or be twenty years apart but this doesn't matter. There is an unspoken language between you, the spiritual connection between you both is so deep that you seem to be able to communicate without even speaking to each other. You are happy to lie in silence together. You feel sometimes that there is no need to talk because you feel that you know what they are thinking anyway. You feel so close to them that sometimes you think you could almost read their mind. You know when they are worried, in pain, or sad just by looking at them. It is as though there exists some kind of telepathy between you.

Real love stands the test of time, you laugh together, cry together and even have your differences but this doesn't matter, you love that person AND their failings. You come together in a crisis and work through things together and this just brings you closer. You take their feelings into consideration in all that you do. They are the most important person in your life!

Eve

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A female reader, atarisrocks United Kingdom +, writes (5 March 2007):

atarisrocks agony auntwhen you think of them all the time you cant help but smile when u see them. u notice the small things about them and u could be with them all the time and never get bored of them

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A female reader, Ask Heather +, writes (5 March 2007):

Ask Heather agony auntThere is a song "Love is a many splendour thing", meaning much diversity. There is the love a woman feels for a man, & vice versa. There is the deep love a mother has for her child. There is the protective love we have for our dog/cat. There is the love we have for God (if we believe in this).There is the love we feel for our parents/siblings/family. I think this is why "Love" is so hard to define, as there are so many different types of love; and yet they are all love. In a man/woman relationship; I would say love means putting the other person first. Caring for & Protecting them. Taking pleasure in giving rather than recieving. Listening to them, I mean REALLY listening to them. Believing in them. Doing things quietly to make their lives easier/happier, without expecting recognition. Unlike you, I can`t be concise! and I`ve only done the man & woman! Don`t worry, I`m not going to do the other types of love at length!! Hope this Helps, Kind Regards, Heather.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (5 March 2007):

love is when two people come together wanting to spend a great deal of inside, it is the force that pulls two people together and makes them fond of their traits and go by this rules trust hope care happiness and togetherness and i think love begins from the heart not in the mind,and love does not cheat it is a faithfull thing. love is a natural gift .

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A male reader, kenny United Kingdom + , writes (5 March 2007):

kenny agony auntI guess alot of people have got many different interpretations on what love actually is. I think its when you care for someone more than you care for yourself. The one you think about and want to be with 24/7. your one and only, your soulmate, the one who gives you butterflies in your tummy. When you apart you count down the hours, minutes, seconds till you see them again. And when you are together its magic, and the whole world seems a brighter place.

Good luck xx

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