A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Is it normal for a new couple to split up and get back together on a regular basis?My ex can be quite controlling and self centred. He also can have a short fuse from time to time. I notice (from comments on social media and friends etc) that he and his new girlfriend have had one or two fall outs along the way and they have only been dating a year. They are currently on another break from each other now.I know it is none of my business anymore - but I still hold a torch for him and can't help keeping an interest in his new love life and wonder if they are really in love or is it doomed? Do new couples usually have so many fall outs? We weren't together for long either as we split up over a misunderstanding - but I have known him to have had a couple of lengthy relationships too!
View related questions:
get back together, split up Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (7 October 2015):
 No, clearly if two people break up 3 times in one year they can't be too compatible and the relationship can't be very fulfilling, so at some point they'll get tired of on and off- and either one or both will decide to stay off.
Even so- what's in it for you ? How would you benefit from the split between them which you are sort of waiting for ?
Who tells you that he'd take you back, rather than going on to another woman.
Your ex may very well have a short fuse and be the type who takes umbrage over small stuff ; but it's also true , as you say yourself, that he is also capable of long relationships. And that with the current one, he breaks off and...patches up again .Which means to me, that when he is really into a woman, - he wants to keep her even if she makes him mad and triggers his short fuse.
That did not happen with you. At the first misunderstanding- you got the sack. So , the problem was not the misunderstanding, or the short fuse, it was that...he just wasn't that into you. At least , not enough to do the on and off thing with you too.
Sorry, I am not saying this to twist the knife into the wound. Just because it makes rational sense. Do not waste any more time waiting with bated breath that they break up for good, it's highly improbable that you could have him back then. If you just dated a short time, and at the first little thing he disposed of you and game over- then he was not that interested to begin with. Because his M.O. shows that when he is interested, he acts differently and goes though a lot of drama to keep his r/ship going.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 October 2015): I am the OP - To the latest female anon - yes it sounds like the same bloke to me!! Loves to Build people up & then drop or block them suddenly.
Thanks for all your comments guys - I will just have to see how things turn out!
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 October 2015): Why are you stalking your ex? You're not going to feel better reading about him.Don't be that ex GF who hangs on and gets all bitter.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 October 2015): My ex boyfriend sounds like that. I split up with him because he got angry a lot, he didn't have any patience whatsoever and when he was in a mood he would ignore me for days, sometimes weeks.When I started seeing him I think he deleted me off his Facebook account within a fortnight over some petty argument. So I'm sure the women he was seeing before me could see that. When I split up for good with him he got a new girlfriend and he did exactly the same with her. Always deleting her as a friend then adding her again.This guy was 40 years old and loved using blocking on Facebook as a sort of one up. First thing he did was tell the world on Facebook how terrible women are. It's normal for people like him to have fallouts early on but he wasn't a normal person lol. He obviously has trouble keeping his temper under control and I can bet his new girlfriend is feeling like you used to, confused and ignored!
...............................
A
female
reader, 02DuszJ +, writes (6 October 2015):
 He sounds like some sort of juvenile- throwing a strop and then shouting about it online- he obviously surrounds himself with people that like drama (he obviously does) so would you even want the drama if they broke up??It shows he's not mature or ready to commit to a long- term relationship- if you care about someone, you have to grit your teeth and roll with the punches, cos if you dont make an effort to overcome/ accept differences and compromise, you're likely to lose that person- something that doesn't seem to matter to him... if it does last between them she must be a first class drama queen- i know one couple that absolutely thrive on drama, who've been togther for years.Eitherway it's not healthy to pay too much attention to what he's doing on facebook, you'll become obsessed. And unless you want to actually be that drama queen in his life, be in an unhealthy relationship AND get a bad conscience for stealing someone's guy, you've really gotta forget it.Take care.
...............................
A
female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (6 October 2015):
 I think it's part of his pattern, you say you two split up over a misunderstanding after a short time together, so the whole "my way or the highway" might just be who he is.
I have actually never had a relationship that was on/off, not one where we had a lot of petty fighting/arguments.
I think people who have "breaks" in their relationships are not really dating material. If you CAN'T stick it out and work it out, what the point? It's like dating a yo-yo.
My advice to you though, is let it go. Even if they break up "permanently" - he isn't really good at relationships over all.
Even if he had a couple of long term ones... well, maybe he dated girls who were more... "complacent" - basically who let him always get his way. Doesn't mean the long term ones were good or healthy.
WANT more for yourself then sit and pine over a guy who isn't all that and a bag of chips..
...............................
A
female
reader, WhenCowsAttack +, writes (6 October 2015):
It's normal for some couples, but not those in healthy relationship.
Don't get all excited just yet though. Some people stay in unhealthy relationships for many years, sometimes their whole lives. And even if they broke up he still might not want to get back with you.
...............................
|
