A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I are in a LDR. We do see each other quite offen though.During the times when him and I aren't together I like taking on extra side jobs in the evenings for a few hours, just so I can have a little extra savings or splurge a bit when we are together. A year ago, his response to me working extra hours at night was worrying that I would be too busy and we won't get to talk during the evenings. He didn't want my part time job to take away OUR time. Now, a year later, when I tell him I'm wanting to take another side job at night that requires me to work 5:30pm - 10:30pm (note: I get off my regular job at 5:00pm, and I go to sleep around 11:00pm), he isn't even concerned about whether I will be able to spend time with him, he just wants to know how much they'll be paying me and is all for it.His explainarion to that was, well I know you can manage your time well now.I'll call him after work and we'll talk during my drive home. Tonight he said to me that he probably won't be able to stay up and need to go to bed early (note: he slept until 4:30pm today!! Got up, ate, and did nothing afterwards), he said to just let him go to bed early and don't bother him. Then about 5 minutes later, he says he's going to the gym (at 9:30pm), then he wants to go out to hot pot shabu shabu (which requires about 2-3 hours to complete a meal) with his friends. So, with me he want me to leave him alone to sleep early, but with his friends he'll go eat at 10pm for three hours???Aside from me, does any one have a sense that this guy is no longer interested in me? But he swears it's not the case!! What should I believe??? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, 02DuszJ  +, writes (20 November 2015):
 It could be that's he's become very lazy, does he have a job? It's quite common for unemployed people to feel less motivated, and get into lazy habits- he may feel like he hasn't got the energy he knows he needs to put into a relationship...
To be honest if you dont see each other that much, being in an LDR, distance creeps in- being together releases lovey chemicals like serotonin, that increase the bond and feelings of love- maybe you just need more intimacy and physical closeness to keep the passion there. I know for me that's why a LDR wouldn't be enough... relationships need quite a bit of physical affection IMO!
This isn't enough for you, so you need to get him to open up, by being completely honest about how you feel- and let him know he can tell you how he feels, even if he has become less motivated or down recently...if after he doesnt make the effort or show enough WILLINGNESS to see you more, (you bth need to be prepared to make small sacrifices) then well you're just selling yourself short- you're never guna get that passion back if he doesnt make some effort to see you..
It's very difficult breaking off a relationship, but ask yourself do you deserve someone that doesn't reciprocate your love? I think encouraging you to work more and distancing himself is unfortunately not passionate love.
I think you deserve better to be honest.
Good luck anywy!
A
female
reader, miss frank +, writes (20 November 2015):
I feel your pain here....i am in a LDR too and its different to firstly gauge their reactions as its either via text,whatsapp,phone and not face to face- to fully read their meaning, and what tends to happen is we apply how we are feeling or reacting to their communication, and this I a disaster! Or can be...
Plus things can drag on where as if it weren't a LDR they at times wouldn't, even if you see them fairly regularly. I would like to know are you someone that jumps to conclusions with him depending on his communication or lack of it easily? I ask because it might just be the settling period of your relationship, and maybe he wants to go out with his mates? And that's ok....you should do the same! You don't have to be so available to him.
If you aren't someone who jumps to conclusions or who's emotions are changeable to his communication, then maybe there's something in what you think.....I'd look for more than you are informing us of here though
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