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I don't think my boyfriend will like me when he finds out how poor I am

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Question - (8 October 2015) 5 Answers - (Newest, 9 October 2015)
A female United Kingdom age , anonymous writes:

My boyfriend has a very well paid job compared to me and he has just paid 2 million pound for his new house and we have agreed that each weekend we will stay at each others homes as we live 100 miles from each other but don't know how to explain to him that I cannot afford to go and see him when its my turn to go to his home and think that he wont be interested in me when he finds out how poor I am compared to him and don't like to ask him to pay as I don't want him to think I am after his money

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (9 October 2015):

I think he sounds really fair, because he wants to appreciate your home by offering to come around in turns. I don't think he will be concerned that you can not afford to visit him, he probably will find this arrangement refreshing,he is not a stupid man, chances are he will know your finances are not as good as his. Just be straight with him, and enjoy what you can both do together.

You should not describe (label) yourself as poor just because you can't afford a house worth a couple of bucks. As you have been told already, wealth is banked in the persons spirit. He has no doubt worked very hard to achieve what he has, but so have you and that is why i like the fact that he

does not dismiss your smaller version of wealth.

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A female reader, 02DuszJ United Kingdom +, writes (9 October 2015):

02DuszJ agony auntMost people just want a loving, passionate relationship, and if something like riches affect how you feel about the other person, then what would that relationship be worth?! (if he did!)

BE yourself, because like the last poster said, you're not a freeloading tramp- you have class and principles! Tell him your insecurities- am sure you know honest communication prevents there from being a wall between you two, and if he's worth it, he'll sit down and listen to your feelings.

remember he may have money but it can't in a million years buy love and that's a colossal risk, investing your heart in someone... :)

Really wish you luck, take care!

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A male reader, oneguy United States +, writes (9 October 2015):

oneguy agony auntYou said one thing. That you don't like to ask him to pay for your travel.

With this one statement, you have blasted away all the rich people's worth and shown how rich you are. You may not have money at the moment, but you have something that 99.99% of rich people don't - respect for values. You may not have riches, but you have richness.

Do not fret about what your boyfriend will think about your poverty. Tell him your predicament with much respect for yourself. Never lose your respect for yourself. Circumstances are temporary, class is not. If he is anything like you, and if he is capable of seeing your worth, he will speak in a manner that will bring confidence to your heart. If he speaks in any other manner, I don't need to tell him what you need to do.

I wish you the very best, and tremendous success! And I have little doubt that you are capable of achieving it!

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A female reader, Ivyblue Australia +, writes (9 October 2015):

Ivyblue agony auntIm not sure why you agreed to an arrangement if that is not something you are able to do. If he doesn't then what have you lost…I mean who wants a snobby bf that looks down their nose at you? I think being wealthy can be just as problematic as being poor sometimes. Decent poor people are intimidated by it and wealthy people are wondering why someone shows an interest- for love or money. Be upfront and honest, because it would be rather silly for him to assume that everyone is in the same financial league as him, let him know that you are concerned about how you are not in a position or accustom to that standard of lifestyle. If he's not worried then you shouldn't be. Just make sure you make an effort to make your way.

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A female reader, jellybean330 United Kingdom +, writes (9 October 2015):

jellybean330 agony auntHi there, i am sorry to hear you are in this situation it must be really dificult, i think the best thing you can do is to just be honest with him, i know its scary and you feel like you will lose him if you do this but otherwise you will end up making up excuses as to why you cant see him when its your turn to visit and that might put him off.

if you explain to him that you like him for him and its not about the money you just want to spend time with him maybe even offer to meet him somewhere halfway i think he will understand the situation and try to come up with a solution sometimes people dont realise there is anything wrong so its just best to explain how you feel, i hope this helps and you resolve this xx

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