A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hello. I would really appreciate advice please. In a long distance of a year. We see each other every other weekend, although this has reduced recently due to difficulties we have had. At times his texts are lovely and others a bit business like and cold. We have broken up due to this, and are rocky now for sure. Recently his ex has been obviously attempting to get in touch or at least show she's about. He has told me if she contacts he will tell me, and not reply, which I appreciated. I have been really upset about this due to our current rocky situation, and noted last night he was active on messenger on facebook till three in the morning! And again today. I haven't noticed he is particularly active on messenger when we are together, and I cant help but worry he is in contact with her! This is the only thing I have to go on, and he has said he would tell me I know, but I feel sick as to who this might me and if it is her. I've never looked to see if he is active before, so this may well be nothing new- I am aware of that.what do people think please?
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facebook, his ex, long distance, text Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 November 2015): I am the original poster!Thanks guys. I would say I have subsequently found out that messenger showing as,active doesn't mean someone is on it! Asked a few friends due to how I was feeling, and they relayed that they have been messaged at night bu night co workers as their status was showing as,active and they were sleeping, as not at work! Or they have been on fb but not the messenger...and its showing as the messenger is active. He can post on fb in the early hours I have seen, so for now as this is the only piece of evidence in not sure I have a case!
A
female
reader, 02DuszJ  +, writes (8 November 2015):
 His behaviour seems suspicious... You don't stay up til 3am on messenger unless you're talking to someone you're very interested in... Would you?
Sorry, but unfortunately I think you've picked a guy who thinks the LDR is an opportunity to mess around and do what he wants, while stringing you along.. sorry it's not personal, it may be a blow but a year isn't THAT long if you think about it, and unfortunately the LDR set- up you're in means that he shows you what he wants to show you, once every week... So it's quite likely you don't know the real him, only what he wants you to see.
I agree with Denizen- you deserve a better situation than this... I think everyone settles for sub- standard men or relationships sometimes, but we don't need to... We're better off alone.
Cut your losses and dont focus too hard on finding a replacement for this guy... I've found when I've found someone worthwhile I really like, I haven't been out looking for it... although we do all want a perfect love, obviously.:)
Take care and don't take it personally :)
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A
male
reader, Denizen +, writes (8 November 2015):
 This is a poor situation for you to be in. I think you should consider cutting your losses. There doesn't seem to be much joy in your partnership.
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