My girlfriend has cheated on me several times. Is it acceptable for me to have an affair of my own to show her that there are consequences to her behaviour?
Q. My 28yo GF has been with me for 5 years. This is the best relationship either of us have ever had. Its not perfect but we enjoy each other and we are good for each other most of the time. My GF openly says she used to be a huge cheater. Then...
A. 3 September 2013: Since seeing the response from the OP:
You CAN'T make "wrong" right by doing it so much that the rules change!!!! "Wrong" is wrong... Right is right.... and never will the "twain" meet!!!!!
All you will do, by justifying what you (and she) do... (read in full...)
Is it ok to text a FWB every day?
Q. I am recently out of a relationship, but I would still like to find a guy to have a no strings attached kind of relationship. I have met this person I think. I think he may actually care about me which is great and makes me only not sure what is ...
A. 2 September 2013: AuntyEm: Are you sure you're not a guy? Where (else) would you get all that confidential information that you had to have available in order to give that great response to this submittal?????... (read in full...)
Is there really sex after 50?
Q. I have such a dilemma, I can't figure it out what goes on with sex in the older age group. It is because, sadly me and my husband are not sexual anymore , due to his erectile dysfunction, and lack of libido. It has been investigated by doctors, ...
A. 2 September 2013: As one of the old fossils who has figured out how to have a sexual/intimate life... even at my advanced age.... I can assure you that I, my lucky lady friend, and those in the circle(s) in which I socialize... enjoy pretty active sexual lives..... ... (read in full...)
Can I get over his disgusting sexual past?
Q. If opposites attract can they live a long happy married life together? I am in my 40s, my children are grown, my first marriage lasted almost 20 years. I met a man who's also in his 40s with two grown children. He has been married two times before. ...
A. 2 September 2013: When you went in to this relationship and marriage... it's apparent that you knew that this man was 'way different from you. What possessed you to keep pursuing (or, tolerating) him such that you and he married????
While you may find his private ... (read in full...)
Help with boyfriend please. He's been increasingly distant, with no contact for past 5 days.
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for 3 years. He's 35 and I'm 31. We don't live together but see each other a few times a week and will stay over at the other's house on the weekends. Things the last 6 months or so have been so horrible. We basicall...
A. 1 September 2013: Six months of "horrible" and fighting every day???? (Your submittal: "Things the last 6 months or so have been so horrible. We basically fight everyday ...")
WHY would you not stay far, far away from him? ... and get on with your life????... (read in full...)
My ex says he wants me back, I love him but I'm afraid he'd hurt me again. How do I move on?
Q. My ex called after 4 months of break up. He dumped me and was very mean when he broke up with me. He said he misses me and still loves me. I'm always the one he wants to marry. I told him I'm not going to get back with him because he hurt me t...
A. 1 September 2013: Continue to be strong... and let him remain "your ex-".....
WHY put yourself in his grasp again? ... when you know that it is likely to end up in a repeat of the anguish that you experienced last time????
Good luck...... (read in full...)
Is it ok to text a FWB every day?
Q. I am recently out of a relationship, but I would still like to find a guy to have a no strings attached kind of relationship. I have met this person I think. I think he may actually care about me which is great and makes me only not sure what is ...
A. 1 September 2013: Since "FWB" is a difficult-to-describe arrangement, it is OK for you and your prospective "F" to make up whatever rules you (two) wish..... I have checked my "Book of being a Guy".... and the page for "FWB rules" is blank.
Good luck....... (read in full...)
Is 6 weeks after a break up too soon to date/make out?
Q. I'm an 18 year old girl. I broke up with my boyfriend nearly 6 weeks ago and I'm going on a date with another guy in a few days. Is that too soon/tacky to go on a date with a new guy? Also, how far is too far on a first date? I've met this guy once...
A. 1 September 2013: According to the "Guy Book of how to Handle things" it is OK to date within 6 MINUTES of breaking up with a girl. I guess this probably also applies in the reverse (sex roles).
Good luck....... (read in full...)
I feel so betrayed when my boyfriend masturbates
Q. I feel so betrayed when my boyfriend masturbates. Here recently he's been looking at porn just bout everyday even with me being in the same house/next room. I have very low self esteem and I feel like he doesn't want me anymore and when we do have ...
A. 1 September 2013: It's a good think you don't date me.... 'cuz I'd "betray" you just about every time we went 36 hours without nik-nik.
Good luck....... (read in full...)
I'm burdened with stress from unplanned pregnancy to finding out father is very ill
Q. My life is in turmoil right now and i have no one to talk to. My girlfriend of 4 years just found out she is 2 months pregnant and because she feels her life is not where it should be right now, she wants to have an abortion. I have a post grad...
A. 1 September 2013: Just a reminder.... You write: "...Its really put both of us under pressure and i dont know if i can forgive her for this.."
Were you aware that YOU contributed to her pregnancy?????
Good luck....... (read in full...)
My girlfriend has cheated on me several times. Is it acceptable for me to have an affair of my own to show her that there are consequences to her behaviour?
Q. My 28yo GF has been with me for 5 years. This is the best relationship either of us have ever had. Its not perfect but we enjoy each other and we are good for each other most of the time. My GF openly says she used to be a huge cheater. Then...
A. 31 August 2013: I like your spirit. She cheated on you.... so you level things off by cheating on her....she learns of that, re-cheats.... you learn; cheat again, .. etc, etc.... ad infinitum.
Great way to have a "relationship"!!!! Unfortunately, cheating... (read in full...)
She forgot that I'd booked a trip for us and made other plans
Q. In March I booked a weekend away for me and my girlfriend, as a gift for her birthday. Now, she knew about it when I booked and apparently wrote it in her diary, the weekend away is next weekend...she's just told me she is now going out that weekend ...
A. 30 August 2013: If'n I were you, I'd conclude that this was adequate grounds to dump this "friend"......
Good luck on your trip...... (read in full...)
I hate this job but don't want to be seen as a quitter
Q. Would you quit a job you've been at 4 months if you hated it? I know it hasn't been long but I feel myself wanting to give up and walk out the door some days. I work with infants who are very demanding at a daycare. The crying babies, high ...
A. 30 August 2013: Why put some negative label on yourself?
If you took this job believing that you would love it, so be it. IF you found out (as you have) that you really CAN'T endure its demands.... then what's wrong with admitting that you sold yourself on somet... (read in full...)
What's a mature way to handle casual sex?
Q. So this is more a request.for guidance. I especially would like answers from men, and from women with experience in casual sex. I lost my casual-sexginity! This week! It was AMAZING. Here I was all cynical about the crappy hand life had dealt m...
A. 30 August 2013: I won't "rain on your parade" with a Sage response.... But will stand ready to offer you an umbrella when you finally do experience the deluge....
Good luck....... (read in full...)
Why do people assume it's just for a green card?
Q. Why is that a foreign guy leaves his family , his country , where he has spend his childhood, his friends and everything for American wife and relocate to US but still he will get this taunt of getting married for green card? Why American girls ...
A. 30 August 2013: Some such "marriages" ARE, indeed, made under fraudulent pretenses. BUT, that doesn't mean that YOUR's is!!!!!
IF you sometimes have to endure some idiot who infers so (fraud) about you and your wifey, I suggest that you hear them out, and, whe... (read in full...)
He couldn't wait for me to get back, then he wants to be alone?
Q. I was dating a guy for three long years! We were absolutely crazy about each other and have so many memories and were each other's firsts for so much! However, a year ago I had to move a few states away to go to a school my family and I could afford ...
A. 30 August 2013: Let me offer an interpretation of the "Guytalk" that you heard. Consider THIS phrase: "...He said that I cared a lot more about him than he cared about me...."
That REALLY means: "You're dumped."
Hope this helps.
Good luck...... (read in full...)
Lashed out at a friend, feel awful and need advice
Q. I need a bit of advice from some random people. I have an idea of what I need to do, but I am always open to others opinions. Anyway, where do I begin. I started hanging out with this girl back in February as friends. We literally started doing ev...
A. 30 August 2013: Owl has one great idea. And, here's another....
Buy a card of apology.... and MAIL it to her!!!!! Include a heartfelt note along the lines of: "Dear (her name here), I'm sorry for behaving like such an a$$hole, recently... and will spend lo... (read in full...)
Why does my boyfriend "like" girls on facebook?
Q. Hello, my bf and I are together more than 2 years. We love each other very much (at least I think so), but what bugs me that he "likes" strange girls on facebook from time to time, the pages like Pretty girls etc. I don´t know why he does that, it ...
A. 29 August 2013: You "B/F" does this because - deep down inside - de doesn't think that you are entitled to REAL respect... such as would be exhibited by a "B/F" who DIDN'T do this sort of thing.....
There's really only ONE question involved: Do you want a "boyfr... (read in full...)
Am I overreacting or being unrealistic? Am I wrong to distrust her?
Q. This will be a long question, thanks to anybody who reads it and tries to help me! I have been dating my girlfriend for about two and half years. We're both strong-willed people but I guess she's probably a little more hard-headed than...
A. 29 August 2013: Let me restate your "question" as I see it:
"Me and my G/F started out being together when we were being unfaithful to spouses/partners that we already had. i.e. We are cheaters. Since we have been together, and since we know how miscrean... (read in full...)
I think I'm dating an alcoholic. What can I do to help him?
Q. I believe I'm dating an alcoholic. Is there any hope? He's so great when he's sober. We both like to dance and have a few drinks, so for the last 6 months I've been in a bit of denial I guess. Where as I can stop at 3 drinks all night at a night...
A. 29 August 2013: you can't "help" him... he must help himself. You CAN support him... but that means staying away from him until and unless he faces this demon and vanquishes it from his life...
Good luck..... (read in full...)
Creepy Guy: Ignore or Confront?
Q. Almost all of my friends are males. Most of them also work in my department at work. Usually this has never, ever been a problem. However one of my male friends just... can't take a hint. I'm not interested! A few months back he told me that he ...
A. 29 August 2013: I vote for ignoring him... BUT, if he does any of the shenanigans that you have described herein, again, I suggest that you take him aside - out of earshot of any others in your circle - and tell him: "You know, bunky, I'm trying to endure you ... (read in full...)
I don't understand my ex. Does my ex have issues?
Q. My relationship with my ex ended almost 6 months ago as she had been raped 12 months ago. She was able to tell me just a couple details to start with but admitted she had an orgasm. she said she couldn't get it out of her mind or understand how i...
A. 29 August 2013: The nicest thing about "ex-s" is that they are "ex-s"... so you needn't waste/spend even a moment - or one joule of energy - thinking about them.... WHO CARES (about any "issues" your ex- might have?????)
Good luck...... (read in full...)
I'm a 22 year old virgin, trying to understand and deal with it!
Q. Hi all, I'm 22 and I'm still a virgin. To be honest, it doesn't bother me. It is what it is. I don't believe in sleeping around or getting to know someone for the purpose of sex like most people my age seem to do. I mean, sure there are people w...
A. 29 August 2013: Until you can invent a time machine, and take yourself back in time as far as you wish, to have your first sexual experience,... you are stuck with your predicament.
That said, I think you needn't spend even a whit of your time and mental energy t... (read in full...)
Is there something wrong with my family? Why can't they be happy for my result?
Q. HI! A year ago a started the toughest job selection on the planet dreaming I would get my dream job. The firm said they would hire 12 people: 6 in Sept 12 and 6 in Sept 14. The competition was ruthless- I had to undergo 3 super selective exams an...
A. 29 August 2013: The key to your happiness and sensibility is to disconnect it from what OTHERS think of your goings-on..... If they aren't as delighted as you are with your progress.... SO WHAT???? WHO is living your life? ... You? ... or, them?
P.S. Once yo... (read in full...)
Am I right in thinking I should be cautious about marrying him?
Q. Hi. I have just found out my boyfriend has court judgements. (Not sure of the term) for unpaid bills. He says his ex wife named him as liable as the expenses were for his child, and he says he never received the bills until it ended up as a legal ...
A. 29 August 2013: Yes. Ask him to show you his personal "closet" .... give you a key to its door, and provide you with a flashlight so that you can snoop around. This sounds "fishy" to me....
Good luck...... (read in full...)
I regret recommending my friend for a job at my workplace
Q. This is not a relationship question but it's something that is really weighing on my mind. I recently met this girl around my age. We got on well and my first impression of her was good. My boss has been looking for someone to fill a position at ...
A. 29 August 2013: I wouldn't spend a lot of time or mental energy fretting over this. After all, the boss, hisself, made the final decision.... AND, you can't be sure.... maybe this friend will "rise up" to the occasion - to the demands and expectations of the job ... (read in full...)
What physical act counts as cheating in a relationship?
Q. Hey Just wondering what you guys would consider cheating in a relationship? E.g. A kiss? Oral? ...
A. 28 August 2013: To: Tisha, SVC and anon male: Am I to understand that you (all) speak so casually of a "happy ending" because it is part of a massage???? Heck, I have always had to pay an extra $25 to get that option!!!!
P.S. Then, that meant I had to i... (read in full...)
My husband blames me for all the damage caused to our relationship
Q. Hello this is going to be a long question but I need advice. Me and my husband have been together for 5 years now. Married for 6 months. We have a three year old son together. He is my first everything and we've had a lot of ups and downs througho...
A. 28 August 2013: OP: Your follow-up "tells" me that you are not going to consider stopping the charade-of-a-marriage that you and hubby have... because you are Hell-bent to compete with him to get "better" more than him, faster than him.
Only problem is, that... (read in full...)
I want to approach this amazing girl but don't know how!
Q. To make a long story short, So There is this really cute girl in my art class and she sits at the same table as me i see her everyday and i even got her at lunch time but i go sit with her because shes always with her friends and i don't want seem ...
A. 28 August 2013: Toonz: Take it from me.... a guy whose head-board is badly weakened from all the notches that I've made in it...
Take this girl aside, some time, and say to her: "Hey, pretty lady, I couldn't help noticing that you are about the most blisteri... (read in full...)
I get physically sick when my boyfriend looks at other women in front me or talks how beautiful women are. What should I do?
Q. I am starting to wonder if I need to seek professional help as I am concerned about my mental and physical state. My reaction to my boyfriends looking at women in front of me and his fixation with a female co-worker is starting to affect my mental...
A. 28 August 2013: WHY would you spend another FIVE MINUTES with a guy who acts like this?
Did you know that there are OOOODLES of guys "out there" who would love to date and romance a girl like you? ... and, that romancing would have them RESPECTING you sufficie... (read in full...)
I'm 42 years old and still feel like I have to fit my family's criteria!
Q. Hi Guys , well its been a while since ive been on here, had lots going on in my life mostly positive but also I have had alot of family issues.... As i have previously written about my sister, she got married this year and me and my partner did not ...
A. 28 August 2013: I think there is only one "salient" phrase, or sentence, in your submittal. It is this:
"...Im 42 years of age and still i feel like I have to fit her criteria...."
Focus upon overcoming that, and you will find that all the drama that you'v... (read in full...)
Friend of my ex was put up to break my heart! How do I get over this?
Q. Hey everyone, About 2 years ago,I met this guy at my gym we had the same trainer we started talking,hit it off,he asked me out but from the very start I wasn't looking for anything serious,I made it clear to him..he fell in love with me things g...
A. 27 August 2013: You don't ("get over it"). Instead, you chalk it up as an unfortunate experience of life... having met two of what have to be the most sinister guys I have ever heard of.... and turn away from them, and never look back.... and hope that you never ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend's adult son moved in, uses my car, doesn't contribute
Q. My boyfriend let his 23 year old son move in with us 3 days a week. He has a place with his girlfriend but instead of going to junior college near where they live he picked a college that is 25 miles north of us. We live 70 miles north of them. The ...
A. 27 August 2013: Your last sentence - " I can see this going to hell in a hand basket quickly." - is the most important part of your submittal...
Remember: This guy is your "boyfriend"... so you have abdicated any/all rights that you might have had if he had been... (read in full...)
I'm afraid I'll move in with boyfriend but end up spending most of my time alone
Q. Hi everyone, I'm looking for some second opinions on my situation if that's ok? So I'm 28 and I have been with my boyfriend for almost 4 years. He is 26. He has just asked me to move in with him but I'm not sure if I want to or not. The main re...
A. 27 August 2013: I wouldn't give him "credit" for his age ("...I'm guessing this is because he is a bit younger than me..").
Instead focus on the detail that he doesn't make you much of a priority in his life (AND, you are not insisting or expecting that he ever ... (read in full...)
I think I've lost my g/f and don't know what to do
Q. So my gf and I have been dating for just over 2 months. We recently moved in together and things have gotten bad. It seems as if everyday I do atleast 1 thing wrong, most days it's several things. It's almost as if she looks for things to complain ...
A. 27 August 2013: Move out, look at her only in your rear-view mirror, and chalk this up to one of those unpleasant life experiences which makes us tougher, in the future.... Sorry.
Good luck....... (read in full...)
My husband blames me for all the damage caused to our relationship
Q. Hello this is going to be a long question but I need advice. Me and my husband have been together for 5 years now. Married for 6 months. We have a three year old son together. He is my first everything and we've had a lot of ups and downs througho...
A. 27 August 2013: ANY TIME that a relationship or marriage is dependent upon one, or the other, of the participants "changing" ... there isn't much hope of success......
YOU can change ONLY YOU.....and HE (and ONLY he) can change him.....
That said, reconcile ... (read in full...)
Is it OK for me to ask a girl to dress the way I like girls to dress when we go out?
Q. I would appreciate opinions on how to approach this, or indeed if to say anything at all. I seem to have some type of "fetish" where if a girl is dressed in a certain kind of way, she becomes irresistable to me. Not sluttish, certain types of...
A. 27 August 2013: Has it occurred to you that this girl has noticed that you seem more attentive to her DEPENDING UPON WHAT SHE HAPPENS TO BE WEARING THAT DAY? Your concerns may be unfounded or unnecessary.... if SHE has "divined" just what attire it seems to be ... (read in full...)
What physical act counts as cheating in a relationship?
Q. Hey Just wondering what you guys would consider cheating in a relationship? E.g. A kiss? Oral? ...
A. 27 August 2013: According to the "Guy Dictionary" "cheating" does not occur until the penis is COMPLETELY within the vagina... AND (emphasis upon "and") wifey or girlfriend has found out.
Hope this helps....... (read in full...)
I'm not the funny, entertaining person whom I want to be.
Q. I really want to make the guy I like laugh, but I can't. We're friends and have known each other a while. I'm not sure if he feels the same but if not thats cool I'd like to be good friends. Thing is I've never been a very funny person, I don't ...
A. 27 August 2013: Do you lament, equally, that you are not an Olympic gymnast? ..... or a best-selling author? Probably not, no?
I suggest that you adjust your thinking... emphasizing who you ARE - and doing that the best you can....
It's OK to want to "be s... (read in full...)
What should I do with an old jealous ex I shared 6 years of my life with?
Q. I dated my ex for a little over six years before I'd had enough of his pessimism and serious lack of a sex drive (believe me, I tried everything to keep him happy and satisfied). Honestly, there wasn't a lot of give and take involved. Clearly, he ...
A. 27 August 2013: It's OK to "throw him away." After all, you and he spent six years trying to make a partnership/life/relationship and didn't succeed.
Let your future-hubby have you unimpeded by that guy who couldn't/wouldn't be a suitable partner for you.... (read in full...)
My g/f makes me wait hours between texts. I don't like her behavior!
Q. hi guys. a few nights ago, my girlfriend came home after spending the night with one of her friends. she texted me "heeey" with a smiley face to let me know she was back. and i replied in about 10 seconds or so. then she disappeared for ...
A. 27 August 2013: If this happened "occasionally" or "once in a while" I would agree with several of the others, here, that you were being a little too "needy-sounding". However....
You indicate that it has happened "hundreds of times".... and I think that is ... (read in full...)
He wanted a break and a week later says he wants to be with me. Is he just playing games?
Q. I been seeing someone for 8 month everything was good then about a week ago got he say he need a break to sort out what he want but yesterday he said he want to get back together a again he said he want to be with me and that he got sacred that why ...
A. 27 August 2013: We guys are ALWAYS looking for that greener grass (lawn).
Sometimes, we have to look all over town for it, and that takes time. Sometimes, we can look just-next-door and find that the grass isn't greener, after all. THAT (the latter) sounds l... (read in full...)
Is my boyfriends behavior with 16 year-olds daughter friend appropriate?
Q. Hi Everyone, Thanks for taking the time to read my post. I am a 35 year old women in a relationship with a 38 year old man. We have a good relationship and have been together for about 7 months. Recently, I was at his daughter sweet 16 birthda...
A. 27 August 2013: I would say that your "boyfriend's" mental growth ceased about 22 years ago. You need to decide if you want to continue in a relationship with a sixteen-year-old....
Good luck...... (read in full...)
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