I feel disgusted he saved an inappropriate picture of his daughter's friend!
Q. Hi There, Agh, I am actually a embarrassed to write about this. I couldn't even bring myself to talk to any of my friend about it in the last 3 days. I have this habit of going through my boyfriend's email, phone, etc. It's a bad habit, I ...
A. 13 July 2014: I'm glad to hear it, OP. He doesn't sound like the cat's meow to me. Thanks for the update and best of luck.... (read in full...)
Is my Bf's outlook on ever or never having children normal?
Q. So my boyfriend loves kids, and he's so cute playing with them etc. however we've talked and he's on the fence about actually having kids. He's absolutely fine with having them if I want em but he just can't see where people find the time for it. ...
A. 27 May 2014: His thoughts on children are normal for anyone, man or woman.
You don't have to be committed to one view or another here. It's perfectly normal for a person to be good with kids but not be interested in having any of their own. It's also possible... (read in full...)
Is my new boyfriend a tight wad?
Q. I met a 45 year old lovely guy who said he is ' careful with money' On our first date he asked if I was going to buy the second round of drinks.I laughed and said it was only a coke both times but felt embarrassed me made the point. Then we agreed ...
A. 27 May 2014: Don't second guess yourself and there's no need to walk away from what is otherwise a great thing.
This can be easily dealt with with a simple comment, 'If you're having some financial difficulties right now, then speak up. Otherwise stop counting... (read in full...)
How hard should I try to make this relationship work, even though he has a fear of commitment?
Q. My current boyfriend and I have a very romantic and dramatic start. Now we have around one year and a half dating. It's my second longest relationship and i'm very proud and happy since i went through a lot of frogs back in the day. The proble...
A. 27 May 2014: Don't fight for it. You don't have to end it, unless you think it's in your best interests, but you should definitely pace yourself and scale back your investment. If he has trust issues then he should be the one to pursue you...forever. The 'too ... (read in full...)
He was so eager to see me. Then we had sex. Is he now fobbing me off? If yes, then why?
Q. I want an honest opinion, please don't judge me. I met a guy on a night out a month ago in a different city. We talked every single day via messaging/phone calls ect. a significant amount. We agreed on a date for him to come and see me at my pla...
A. 25 May 2014: There may be a reasonable explanation for the sudden unavailability, but it's quite possible that he got what he wanted from you.
You need to re-evaluate your dating strategy because you're moving way too fast and assuming too many risks.
... (read in full...)
New workplace for me. Guy there is married, attractive and older. What's my next move?
Q. hi.theres this man whos pretty elder to me but is ravishingly handsome,at my workplace. i just started working there 2 weeks ago and he makes frequent eye contacts and shows many other signs of attraction.it makes me feel really awkard to gaze back ...
A. 25 May 2014: Are you asking this question because you're thinking of pursuing the man or accepting possible future advances or because you just want to know how to keep things professional?
I hope you don't really need us to tell you that pursuing him or accep... (read in full...)
Can you change your mind about attractiveness?
Q. My friend (mr A) recently started dating this girl who previously dated his best friend (Mr B). She was very into his friend and when he lost interest in her she was very upset and cried to my friend (Mr A) about it. When her and Mr B started dating ...
A. 25 May 2014: Yes and yes.
Many people have developed an attracted to someone they didn't initially find physically appealing. Much of attraction is based on personality and similarities.
... (read in full...)
After a year I still don't have my online boyfriend's phone number
Q. Met a guy online over a year ago, we fell in love, never spoke on phone. It is a LDR and I gave him my number but he never gives me his. Lately, he is busier at work and he says he loves me but I don't know what's going on. Is it normal t...
A. 25 May 2014: He's either married or he lives with a girlfriend. He could even be in prison for all you know, with limited access to a computer.
You're not in a relationship with this man, you're just an online diversion from his monotonous life.
Delete ... (read in full...)
I feel like I am his enterainment while his wife is waiting for him
Q. hi. i am dating this guy. i am a foreign living in USA for 7 years. he just got here as a refugee. we met 3 months ago. his english is very little but somehow we can communicate, we liked each other so we became friends first. now we are kind of ...
A. 25 May 2014: He's married and she is his wife.
Wanting to know where you are and who you talk to is not out of any deep love for you, but because his view of women is proprietary. You're HIS piece on the side and the other woman is HIS wife. I don't share my... (read in full...)
The ex stayed with the family for the funeral so why not me?
Q. Hi So I am after some opinions as to whether I am over analysing things and being silly or if I am right to feel upset. I am new to this site and so am expecting there may be some readers who will judge me pretty harshly but that's ok, maybe I dese...
A. 25 May 2014: The ex wife didn't force herself on the family. She came to pay her respects and to allow their young daughter to do the same. They might not like much about her, but I think everyone behaved appropriately here. To turf her out would have been in ... (read in full...)
My partner of 7 years left me. I am trying to give him space but I want to start again from the beginning.
Q. My partner has just broke up with me 11 days ago. We where together 7 years and have lived together for most of this. in the last 3/4 months we where planning on moving abroad to work for the summer. we gave up are house and moved in with his mum ...
A. 24 May 2014: I agree. Whatever hope you're reading into whatever hasn't been said notwithstanding, he's made it very clear that the relationship is over. He doesn't say more than he already because he doesn't want to be the bad guy and/or hurt you further... (read in full...)
I drunk-dialed him, HUGE mistake. How do I get over that?
Q. I'd been kind of seeing a guy for about the last six months. Nothing serious, just a lot of chatting and the occasional hookup. The problem is, I REALLY like him and I was beginning to get frustrated with him not seeming to want to commit. Last week ...
A. 24 May 2014: The quicker you get over this the more 'not a big deal' it becomes and the more likely you are to repeat this mistake except next time it might be with someone who really does matter.
This guy was obviously quite content with chatting and the ... (read in full...)
Our friendship was stunted by a comment I made and now I need to know how to handle this, as we work together!
Q. Ok so my situation is this. Im a married man and although I haven't always been happy in my marriage ive always wanted to make it work. Well I had or have this situation going on at work with a coworker or once thought of friend going on. So basi...
A. 24 May 2014: I think your association with this colleague far exceeded the bounds of friendship so I agree that you should accept that it's over and just be professional, but pleasant with the woman.
It's best you not discuss marital issues with female f... (read in full...)
He revealed he'd had an affair while married! Can I trust him now?
Q. I am very much in love with the man I am with. He was married before and has been divorced for a while. He was married for more than twenty years and his ex wife left him in such a way that it almost destroyed him emotionally and financially (she ...
A. 24 May 2014: I'm not so hung up on the lie as I figure people will reveal what they feel safe in revealing when they feel safe in revealing it. I also understand that we have all done things that we're not proud of, even things that most would consider so unlike ... (read in full...)
I don't want to be unkind, but really the relationship is over
Q. hi, I've been seeing my bf for 4 years, we've been very close over the years, although not particularly intimate as he wouldn't stay over very often. because of this, when he wanted to move in last year I wouldn't let him until intimacy improved but ...
A. 24 May 2014: I agree with WiseOwlE and Honeypie. The issues in this relationship pre-date his loss and the only contact you have with him is when he comes by to ride one of his bikes. It's over, so make it official so you can move on. Your home is not a st... (read in full...)
I said I'd visit my LDR girlfriend, but now I'm not so sure it's a good idea...
Q. Hi everyone I've had a girlfriend for nearly two years now. I love her and during these 2 years it has always been me who put in the majority of the effort. It's long distance which doesn't help, but she sacrificed very little for us whereas I did...
A. 20 May 2014: I don't think there is any point for a couple of reasons, to be honest.
What pivotal piece of information do you think is going to reveal itself during the coming months and the next visit that hasn't already been revealed in the past 2 years? W... (read in full...)
Is he pushing too soon to have a relationship with me?
Q. Dear Cupid Member I have a question? Do you think a guy is pushing a relationship with you too soon if after exchanging emails and just talking once on the Phone he already told me that He wants to be my Boyfriend? I met him online in one of...
A. 20 May 2014: The short answer is yes, he is moving way too fast.
The question is why? He might be needy and desperate, a nester, or he could be seeking access to the US, or some kind of financial gain. We just don't know and while 'verifying' his identity... (read in full...)
I feel disgusted he saved an inappropriate picture of his daughter's friend!
Q. Hi There, Agh, I am actually a embarrassed to write about this. I couldn't even bring myself to talk to any of my friend about it in the last 3 days. I have this habit of going through my boyfriend's email, phone, etc. It's a bad habit, I ...
A. 14 May 2014: 'But he also admitted that I was right about the picture and why he saved it and had it one his phone.'
He's already admitted he didn't save the picture because he thought it was funny. ... (read in full...)
Boundaries with a patient- husband is a physical therapist- please would like some advice
Q. Will try to be brief :-) SOme history: Im 43, BF is 48- we are both divorced and in a solid trusting relationship for past 6 months. Knew each other 3 years as friends so good foundation. BOth very happy. We live separate for now and everythi...
A. 14 May 2014: The bottom line here is your boyfriend is a medical professional and this woman is his patient which makes her off limits in ANY personal capacity.
Far from being firm, he`s been foot loose and fancy free with the boundaries, beginning with sha... (read in full...)
I want to stay friends with 'the other woman' but she says she hates me
Q. I am a separated male who still is friendly with my wife, we have 2 beautiful teenage girls and we remain very close after 6 years of separation. We still share family vacations and days out as a family and even the bed 1 - 2 times a month. I live...
A. 14 May 2014: For God's sake leave this one alone and move on.
This manifestation you're seeing was always there. You just never had a reason to see it before because everything was going so well. I daresay her husband has seen it countless times.
I under... (read in full...)
I feel disgusted he saved an inappropriate picture of his daughter's friend!
Q. Hi There, Agh, I am actually a embarrassed to write about this. I couldn't even bring myself to talk to any of my friend about it in the last 3 days. I have this habit of going through my boyfriend's email, phone, etc. It's a bad habit, I ...
A. 13 May 2014: I.m sorry this one didn't work out, but I think this is probably for the best, as you say.
Trusting men is only half the equation, OP. Ultimately it's YOU you have to be able to trust in to make good decisions regardless of what happens around y... (read in full...)
I want to move on from a girl I fell for. Is it OK to ignore her if she texts me?
Q. Last year a girl joined my college course and straight away I fell for her. We became friends and then I asked her out at the end of the year and she turned me down. After that nothing changed, we were still friends although she did move into the ...
A. 12 May 2014: Given the way things ended, you're fine to ignore any future correspondence from her. In fact it might be a wise idea if your feelings for her, by then, haven't abated to the point that you can have a simple 'good bye' conversation without resuming ... (read in full...)
I feel disgusted he saved an inappropriate picture of his daughter's friend!
Q. Hi There, Agh, I am actually a embarrassed to write about this. I couldn't even bring myself to talk to any of my friend about it in the last 3 days. I have this habit of going through my boyfriend's email, phone, etc. It's a bad habit, I ...
A. 12 May 2014: Anyone who has eyeballs in their head and can see is a visual creature, OP. Men don't get a wider latitude to indulge their baser instincts.
Like you, I find this off putting and having been that 15 year old girl myself once upon a time (before ... (read in full...)
He just can't let go of my past
Q. Hello aunts, I'm having a dilemma with my current boyfriend. We have been dating for a little over a month now and we really enjoy each-other and fell in love and love spending time together when we can. We are almost one person and I've had pre...
A. 10 May 2014: Only a month in and this behaviour is already a pattern? Wow. That's pretty bad. It appears your days of kissing frogs isn't over because this guy is no prince.
OP, there are number of reasons why some men take issue with a woman's past. The most... (read in full...)
Why does my boyfriend watch chubby porn but not fancy chubby women in real life?
Q. I'm slim, my boyfriend tells me I'm sexy and he loves my body often. But I am slim and my breasts are an A to a B cup. I have a nice bum. However my boyfriend always looks at BBW porn. Not very big girls but chubby with big boobs. It's his go to ...
A. 9 May 2014: There is a big difference between being horny and romantic/sexual attraction.
The BBW in the porn he watches are tools he uses to achieve orgasm and once he's climaxed he can put those women back on the shelf where he won't think about them aga... (read in full...)
How long can I hide my girlfriend's job from my family and friends? We are planning a life together!
Q. Following divorce/kids I have met a fantastic woman. We have fallen in love and are making plans to spend our lives together. One problem is her work - she is a lap dancer. The job pays well and she has done it for several years. I have no...
A. 9 May 2014: If this is HER secret, then it should be her headache.
I say keep it simple. Either SHE comes up with a believable cover story before your next conversation with your family or she'll have to live with you being honest about what she does. Th... (read in full...)
Will I be limiting my chances of having a Boyfriend considering that I don't like giving blow jobs?
Q. Will I have limited boyfriend chances unless I give blow jobs?? I don't mind hand jobs, but I'm not a person who feels comfortable with the idea of a penis in my mouth. I also don't particularly like the idea of a guy ejaculating on me, but I don't ...
A. 9 May 2014: Blow jobs are a treat, not a man's birthright and I think any guy who receives them should consider himself very lucky.
For some men this will be a deal breaker, but for others it won't be. Just be honest, matter of fact and stick to your lim... (read in full...)
Am I obligated to stay because he supported me through school?
Q. My husband of six years has a good heart, generally, and we have a three year old daughter together. I care about him a lot, but I can't stand living with him anymore. He is often very moody, controlling, and can have massive temper tantrums....
A. 9 May 2014: My advice is to first get your ducks in a row. Then speak to an attorney and when you're ready make your move.
When it comes time to declaring your intentions to him, I strongly suggest you be matter of fact, to the point and totally unapolog... (read in full...)
I am fed up of arguing about her wanting breast enlargement surgery!
Q. Hi everyone, I need some advice on a frustrating situation that I am in. About 7 months ago I had a breast enlargement. At 22 I was fed up of feeling self conscious, unhappy and miserable about my body. I never ever developed more than buddin...
A. 9 May 2014: Then stop arguing with her about it. It's her body and if she wants to be vain and foolish that's entirely up to her. You're making her body as much your issue as you claim she's making yours hers.
I daresay you having the procedure is not THE ... (read in full...)
How's a nice way to ask her ex in laws to get to know me so they can see I'm not a monster and how does everyone else deal with the ex dad?
Q. Hi, I'm in a relationship with a girl that is going through a divorce and a mother of two kids. Her ex is an ass and that's being nice to the guy, he cheated on her,was emotionally and verbally abusive to her and really broke her down. She is trying ...
A. 6 May 2014: Her divorce is not final and as SVC points out everything she does (and anyone she's involved with) will be under a microscope.
You should NOT be sleeping over. not just for the kids' sake, but for hers and for yours. The kids need whatever... (read in full...)
Am I wrong for being mad about these 'friends'?
Q. How do you see this situation? Am I wrong for being mad about them? We have a vacation house that we come to from another state approximately 6-7 times a year. Ussualy for kids holidays, just a short break away from work, long weekends, etc. ...
A. 6 May 2014: The liability issues are simple. Anyone who is injured on your property has a case against you. That includes any guests whether they're your friend or a friend of a friend, their children, relatives, neighbours, the postman, the metre reader and in ... (read in full...)
Am I obligated to stay because he supported me through school?
Q. My husband of six years has a good heart, generally, and we have a three year old daughter together. I care about him a lot, but I can't stand living with him anymore. He is often very moody, controlling, and can have massive temper tantrums....
A. 6 May 2014: Supporting the family while you attended graduate school does not give him a free pass to behave badly the rest of the time. You'd have done the same for him had the shoe been on the other foot.
You can be grateful to him, but keep it in perspect... (read in full...)
Should I ask him why he exaggerated the length of time he was single and why he led me to believe he's been living by himself?
Q. I'll try to keep this short Basically I met, dated and fell for this amazing man roughly two months ago. Never have I connected so well with someone, shared so many likes and tastes with, which he reciprocates. During this time frame we've got ...
A. 6 May 2014: I don't see the point in asking him why he lied. That's like asking a four year old why they scribbled on the wall with crayons. You're not going to get a reasonable answer. All you'll get is more lies/excuses or 'I don't know'.
And really t... (read in full...)
He wants me to move in, but I'm worried about his nasty sister, and my independence
Q. I met Andrew 4 years back. we have Ben dating ever since. He is a very good man and I love him very much We even have a beautiful 5 months baby girl together . He has another of 7 years old call her Anita Anita's mother has been in the pi...
A. 6 May 2014: Normally I'd say it was odd for a couple who is still together and has a child together n to live together, but in this case I think it best you stay in your own home where you have the greatest security.
If and when you decline his invitati... (read in full...)
He lied about studying so he could go out with a friend
Q. Hello, my boyfriend lied to me today..In the morning I was at his place (we don´t live together) and he told me to go home, because he had to learn a lot (he´s ending the college so I understand) but then when we were lying next to each other, he ...
A. 4 May 2014: There is nothing wrong with him wanting to go out with a friend. Being a couple doesn't mean you should spend all your free time together.
The fact that he lied about it suggests to me that the only way he thinks he can have some time on his own ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has cut me out from his life, he seems to be having a great time and here I am with severe trust issues
Q. My boyfriend (have been together for just two months) is on a business trip. We were chatting yesterday, and the conversation began as something like "hi! how are you?" and then we proceeded to talk about his new hotel room and his new job, which I ...
A. 4 May 2014: I'll echo the others in saying you came across as very clingy and insecure.
The comment about sharing a hotel room with two beautiful women was a joke and should have been treated as such.
This relationship is very, very new and you're inves... (read in full...)
My B/f doesn't want to get married because he doesn't want to support me with medical bills and marrying me will have a bad effect on his retirement fee
Q. My boyfriend of 4 years told me that he doesn't want to get married anymore.. And his reasons are very selfish in my opinion. He said he doesn't want to support me with medical bills, or that marrying me will have a bad effect on his retirement fee. ...
A. 2 May 2014: I'm going to go a little against the grain here and say I don't blame him. Voluntarily helping you out here and there is one thing, but assuming legal responsibility for your debt is a whole other kettle of fish. If you can't pay those bills who do ... (read in full...)
I had a threesome before I got married. Do I tell my husband?
Q. I was involved in a once only threesome with my ex bf and another girl. Deeply regretted. Should I tell the man I married later? He has had premarital sex but not of this kind....
A. 2 May 2014: SVC made a good point. When I answered I assumed you were considering volunteering this out of the blue. If so, then definitely not.
If he's asking about your past then I would NOT lie, but decline to answer with something like 'I don't discuss ... (read in full...)
I had a threesome before I got married. Do I tell my husband?
Q. I was involved in a once only threesome with my ex bf and another girl. Deeply regretted. Should I tell the man I married later? He has had premarital sex but not of this kind....
A. 2 May 2014: Absolutely not.
For one thing, it's none of his business and for another you would only cause him unnecessary grief which you'll end up paying the price for.
You have some regrets. We all do, that doesn't mean we must declare them all for som... (read in full...)
My friends tell me I should give my boyfriend a BJ
Q. A lot of my friends are wanting me to give my boyfriend a blowjob, and he agreed to wanting me too when i asked. But i feel like we are kind of young for this to be happening. My friends said it was okay because we have been dating for 6 months, but ...
A. 2 May 2014: You have plenty of years of blow jobs ahead of you. Don't be in any hurry to rush it.
Ignore your friends on this one and consider not discussing sexual matters with them. The less you talk about it with them, the fewer silly opinions they'll ... (read in full...)
I'm too afraid to ask him for help financially!
Q. I'm 23years plus i'm dating a guy of 29years plus getting to three years now, l love him so much but despite my love for him i'm shy to ask him when i need help financially because of my two reasons my first reason is that i'm thinking its too ...
A. 1 May 2014: What size loan are you thinking of asking him for and how soon can you pay it back?
... (read in full...)
I don't want to seem weak when I end it
Q. I've been casually seeing a guy for about 6 months and I think for my own sanity I need to end it. He's probably the most rude and arrogant person I've met and he makes me feel worthless with the way he speaks to me. Now do I tell him that's ...
A. 1 May 2014: Whatever you do don't say his behaviour hurt or upset you or that you felt worthless because that will definitely sound weak. Without getting roped into an in depth discussion simply say his behaviour is off putting and you've had enough. Be calm ... (read in full...)
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