Why does my husband continue to destroy me like this? What do I do?
Q. Please please help me, im so hurt, demoralised and depressed, i really am breaking down. Ok, so, we've hardly spoken for 4 weeks now. I only speak in reply to him when i am spoken to, that way, he cant accuse me of prying or accusing him!! After 20...
A. 14 October 2014: A good starting point would be to jot down the questions you have, for your private use, not his. Keep a digital copy if you like and just email it to yourself.
Then I would consult an attorney. They can help you sort out what needs to be done ... (read in full...)
Why does my husband continue to destroy me like this? What do I do?
Q. Please please help me, im so hurt, demoralised and depressed, i really am breaking down. Ok, so, we've hardly spoken for 4 weeks now. I only speak in reply to him when i am spoken to, that way, he cant accuse me of prying or accusing him!! After 20...
A. 13 October 2014: My suggestion is that you find out whatever you can on your own before approaching him. And as for cooking and shopping, just buy food and supplies for yourself and let him figure out that he has to buy his own.
Maybe when he sees that you're a... (read in full...)
Why does my husband continue to destroy me like this? What do I do?
Q. Please please help me, im so hurt, demoralised and depressed, i really am breaking down. Ok, so, we've hardly spoken for 4 weeks now. I only speak in reply to him when i am spoken to, that way, he cant accuse me of prying or accusing him!! After 20...
A. 11 October 2014: What discussion? What is it that needs to be said?
You've said yourself the marriage is over and from what I've read, I have to agree so what is holding you back? What is it you need him to do or say before you begin building a new life for your... (read in full...)
My 17 year old niece was extremely rude to me
Q. Hi everyone, this might sound trivial but it is really upsetting me lately. My niece is 17 and throughout her teenage years she has been a typical sulky teen. However since her 17th birthday she has been downright rude to me. She lives in another ...
A. 5 October 2014: I agree. No more gifts, emails or birthday cards or messages.
If and when she misses you, she can reach out to you. ... (read in full...)
She told me she has a boyfriend but now she's calling me every day
Q. Hi,i met a girl on some online dating,so we text for like 3months ,she told me she has a bf, but he does not take her seriously so when she tell me this i thought she gave me ammo,so we agreed to meet one day cause she stays almost 1hr away from my ...
A. 5 October 2014: Whoah! I didn't even notice that bit about the dating site.
Definitely steer clear. She is not even friend material.
She's not confused. She knows what she wants and she's going after it.
Apart from not being able to trust her, or pursue any... (read in full...)
She told me she has a boyfriend but now she's calling me every day
Q. Hi,i met a girl on some online dating,so we text for like 3months ,she told me she has a bf, but he does not take her seriously so when she tell me this i thought she gave me ammo,so we agreed to meet one day cause she stays almost 1hr away from my ...
A. 5 October 2014: Steer clear.
Your lady friend isn't happy with her boyfriend but won't break up with him because she doesn't want to be the bad guy and hurt his feelings, doesn't want to deal with the fallout, and doesn't want to risk making a mistake.... (read in full...)
My family doesn't want to meet my boyfriend. How do I tell him?
Q. I would like your advice on how to handle the following situation I have. I met a guy online in a chatroom. After being an online couple for a month, he came to visit me. He initially wanted to stay at my place as I was living by myself at the time...
A. 4 October 2014: On the other hand you could be completely honest and matter of fact, without condemning your family for it. He's already been told pretty much the same things by previous girlfriends. Perhaps he needs to hear it again before he does something a... (read in full...)
My family doesn't want to meet my boyfriend. How do I tell him?
Q. I would like your advice on how to handle the following situation I have. I met a guy online in a chatroom. After being an online couple for a month, he came to visit me. He initially wanted to stay at my place as I was living by myself at the time...
A. 4 October 2014: Don't bring up the topic, but if he does simply tell him your family doesn't take dating seriously (and therefore don't feel compelled to meet him) until you've been together a few years. That might buy you some time.
Be casual and confiden... (read in full...)
My LDR has admitted to ongoing cheating. Do I fight for us or sit back while he leaves me for the other girl?
Q. My boyfriend of 4 years just told me he cheated on me...by text message. He met this girl, got her number, has been hanging out with her, going out in groups, hanging at her house, and having sex with her. He told me and seemed to think that since ...
A. 28 September 2014: Never fight for a man. Especially one like him. There is nothing to save here. Let him go, grieve in private, then move on. Unless one or both of you have solid plans and a date set to relocate there is no point in a long distance relatio... (read in full...)
Marriage and threesomes..need advice!
Q. I need your opinion. My wife and I have been married for almost 5 years. I have always wanted to try anal and never have with any woman. I have always had this fantasy and had played with her asshole before which she loved, but the last time we ...
A. 23 September 2014: I know, and know of, couples for whom a threesome seemed great or at least changed very little in their relationship, but I know, and know of, far more for whom it was a huge disaster. And frankly, more often than not it's the wife who suffers most ... (read in full...)
He ignores my calls and texts and makes excuses.
Q. Well, I've been in a relationship with my boyfriend for 4 months now, but before that we were dating on and off, and he keeps saying he'll never leave me, but he keeps going on about other girls and he knows I don't like that at all. I've asked him ...
A. 21 September 2014: I'm afraid the relationship is over. Your boyfriend is pursuing other girls, or at least receptive to their pursuits. He doesn't want to be the bad guy by breaking up with you so he's hoping you'll clue in or get fed up and leave on your own. I kn... (read in full...)
I feel she was leading me on and then she pulled the carpet out from under my feet!
Q. A long time female friend, (know her 50 years) and I both divorced. We date as friends. During one of our dates she talked about sex. She told me she hasn't had sex in 7 years. It kind of sounded like an invitation, so I asked her if she'd have sex ...
A. 15 September 2014: She didn't lead you on or pull the rug out from under you.
By your own admission you've been friends for decades and despite what Hollywood and some of the posts on sites like this would have us believe, friends generally do not hop into bed with... (read in full...)
I'm pregnant and alone, an Army wife stressed by my mother-in-law's comments on Facebook!
Q. I dated my husband for 6 years and we just got married before he joined the Army. I'm 35 weeks so far and it's been very stressful and a lonely experience for me, I'm living alone in our old apartment and his parents are not far from me. The only ...
A. 9 September 2014: As WiseOwl has suggested, block your mother in law from your Facebook feed. Don't make any announcements about it.
The silver lining here is the woman is dumb enough to behave this way in front of witnesses so everyone sees the horse's arse she... (read in full...)
Is me sending my boyfriend pictures of me in my sports bra okay?
Q. Hi :) I'm 15 going to be 16 soon. I am not exactly sure but like I've sent a number of pics of me in my sports bra to my boyfriend.... It sounds kinda stupid of me... But it also got me questioning if it's okay to actually do that? ...
A. 9 September 2014: Don't send any pictures you wouldn't want the world to see.
If this guy had any character and really wanted to impress you, he wouldn't want to scare you off by asking for such pictures. ... (read in full...)
I am shattered he didn't make an effort to keep his word to me!
Q. Hi everyone, I am one mad girlfriend this morning but I don't know if I can be bothered to fight. I just want some advice on the best way to handle this. Me and my boyfriend have been together for 5 years and had arranged to spend this weeke...
A. 8 September 2014: I think you and your boyfriend have to be more realistic when making plans.
Birthdays happen the same time every year and if this friend is indeed close then surely your boyfriend should have known about the get together and accepted or declined... (read in full...)
Should I Be Annoyed With My Boyfriends Mum?
Q. I am a bit annoyed with my boyfriends mum. My boyfriends brother had a kid some months ago and his mum has that kids photo on her phone as a wallpaper instead of mine. I had my baby but she has not changed the photo from being of that other kid. ...
A. 8 September 2014: You've just had a baby and THIS is the sort of thing you care about?
You know, most of the time I don't even know what pictures other folks use as wallpaper for their phones because I couldn't care less. I have my own cell phone. I don't need to ... (read in full...)
What are the best options to get through these issues with my partner's 28 year old daughter?
Q. My partner's 28 year old daughter has never accepted me into her father's life. She pretends I don't exist. At first I would have done almost anything to get her to talk to me. Now 9 years on I don't care, but now she has decided to pop back int...
A. 8 September 2014: So let him crawl and be very cool with him for a long time. keep him on his toes without discussing the issue, yet again, which, as you've seen today doesn't do any good.
Don't contact him again. Keep yourself busy. Enjoy the peace and quiet. R... (read in full...)
What are the best options to get through these issues with my partner's 28 year old daughter?
Q. My partner's 28 year old daughter has never accepted me into her father's life. She pretends I don't exist. At first I would have done almost anything to get her to talk to me. Now 9 years on I don't care, but now she has decided to pop back int...
A. 7 September 2014: By your question 'Do I go and try to lay this ghost to rest?' I'm assuming they're meeting somewhere for lunch or dinner.
No. Do not go and try to lay this ghost to rest. Do not lie or make up excuses. Be up front and matter of fact, brief bu... (read in full...)
I do not want to send him the pictures he asks for. Why should I send these pictures?
Q. im dating tanzanian man since like 7 months ago we chatting every day online. he is calling me on viber...he sent me pictures of his private parts,and he said he wants pictures of my private parts. i said yes to him but i do not want to send suc...
A. 7 September 2014: Send him a picture of a man's private parts. Let him think he's been chatting up a guy all this time.
Don't do that. I'm just amusing myself. Don't send him any pictures, of any kind, regardless of how innocent they are. This guy is not a decent m... (read in full...)
He insists on keeping letters from ex's
Q. I recently found out that my bf still keeps letters from his exes. It makes me uncomfortable because I throw away things my exes give me. Of course I understand that perhaps some people are more sentimental. Yet the irony in this is that he claim...
A. 7 September 2014: I've kept photos and souvenirs from my exes. Not because I still carry a torch for any of them (I don't) but because it was an episode in my life and that person just happened to be in it then. Among other things, I have what used to be my favourite ... (read in full...)
I appreciate my boyfriend's efforts at trying to prove that he's now faithful but this is not what I meant by 'prove yourself'!
Q. Hi everyone! Ive always got great advice from here so I thought I would ask again! Me and my boyfriend have been together for just under 5 years. Over the summer I found out he was having an affair of 5 weeks with another women. He had ended...
A. 7 September 2014: OP, his avoiding football has nothing to do with trying to prove himself to you. He isn't sacrificing something he loves for your sake. He hasn't been going because he's ashamed and doesn't want to face people. He's protecting himself, not you.
... (read in full...)
Do I break up with him or tell him the truth about the affair I had with his father and ruin things for his family?
Q. Ok so before you read this I know what I did was wrong and deeply regret it and it's all a big mess. Four years ago I was in a really bad place. I had fallen out with my parents and moved out of home in to a grotty flat which I had to work 3 jobs...
A. 7 September 2014: I'm sure I'll be slammed for saying this but I don't think you should breathe a word of the affair to another living soul so long as you live. NO ONE.
And honestly, I'm not sure I would continue seeing your guy friend, but that's entirely... (read in full...)
I would like the power difference in our relationship to even out. Any suggestions on how to do this?
Q. I started seeing my boyfriend over a year ago, we've been official since December last year. Despite the fact that we have both been in relationships which have lasted longer, we have both discussed how this is our most serious relationship to date ...
A. 2 September 2014: Yep. What YouWish said.... (read in full...)
My Husband Reads Erotic literature
Q. I just happened to see my husband's browsing history while searching for a file . He seems to be reading erotic stories involving incest between mother and son .. This is the second time I ve seen him read this topic of erotic literature .. The ...
A. 2 September 2014: This is not a 'guy thing'. Many men and women read erotic literature.
This is not something that needs to be discussed. Perfectly normal (assuming the literature is not about raping or killing children or animals or something).... (read in full...)
I cheated on my wife and she won't forgive me
Q. Hello, everyone. This is my first time here. I would like some advice please. Ive been through hell for the past 2 weeks. I cheated on my wife. the worst mistake I could have ever make. My lovely beautiful loving wife, mother of my children. So ...
A. 2 September 2014: I think you're going to have to put your wife's preference ahead of your own here. Trying to force a reconciliation right now is for your benefit not hers.
She needs time and space to get her head around this.
She might be willing to talk ... (read in full...)
I had an affair with a younger man and I wanted to hurt his girlfriend so I told her about what we did. I thought this would break them but they're back together. What do I do now?
Q. I've been very stupid. 6 weeks ago I started to talk to a man 11 years younger than myself, he was at work when I met him and I asked for his number for a job that I needed doing in my home. I text him and it started off innocently, I ne...
A. 2 September 2014: You've acknowledged that doing what you did was 'very stupid' and now you're asking us if you should keep doing it? Really?
OP, not everyone is going to like or want you. That does not mean you're worthless. It just means THAT person isn't fo... (read in full...)
Whenever I make a move she reminds me we're friends
Q. So ive met this girl little over a year ago however we've only really gotten close these past 4 or 5 months. This girl is the best friend ive ever had, we always take each others advice on relationships and we can trust each other with anything. I ...
A. 2 September 2014: Leave it be. She doesn't want more than friends and if she has to keep reminding you, you'll lose even that.
Friends only. ... (read in full...)
Should I believe him? My heart is saying I'm not ready to give up on us
Q. My world is in bits. My heart has been ripped out of my chest and my whole body aches. I can't believe I'm here writing this. I found out Thursday my childhood sweetheart (5 years together) and the man I love to pieces has been cheating. He h...
A. 1 September 2014: I wasn't really satisfied with my answer but I was too busy to follow it up until now.
I believe it's incorrect to assume that someone who has cheated will always cheat, just as it would be to say 'once fat always fat' or 'once a smoker always a... (read in full...)
Should I believe him? My heart is saying I'm not ready to give up on us
Q. My world is in bits. My heart has been ripped out of my chest and my whole body aches. I can't believe I'm here writing this. I found out Thursday my childhood sweetheart (5 years together) and the man I love to pieces has been cheating. He h...
A. 30 August 2014: I don't subscribe to the belief that once a cheater, always a cheater. I think each circumstance has to be taken on a case by case basis. Forgiving someone and taking them back after such an event is not, in itself, weak if it's only happened the ... (read in full...)
My temper got out of control. How do I show my g/f that I would never hurt her?
Q. I've been dating my gf for almost four years now. Last night we all went out to a pub and got drunk afterwards we came back to my apartment. Everyone was having a good time so I'm not sure who things turned so bad. Apparently my gf and I went I t...
A. 27 August 2014: Hayden, I'm very glad to hear it. This is something you can conquer and while it may be a bumpy road now and then, I'm confident you'll be successful and happier for it.
A couple of things to remember:
1. This is a lifestyle change, a proces... (read in full...)
Expecting a baby with Bf. Looking for accomodation. Bf suggested adding a female room-mate. I said no. Was I wrong to say no to his idea?
Q. My boyfriend and I are currently apartment hunting. We are expecting a child in a few months and have been looking for a 2 bedroom apartment with little luck. The other day he messaged me telling me that one of his female coworkers was looking ...
A. 27 August 2014: You were 100% right to say 'no'. Without a doubt.
To be honest this does seem a bit dodgey. A female co-worker he's only known a month, and you with a baby on the way (not ideal for you or any room mate) and for him to be this disappoi... (read in full...)
Why does my b/f keep masturbating to porn when he knows how much I hate it?
Q. Okay, literally I have caught my boyfriend of one year masturbating to porn countless times. Every time he's doing it he's had the option to just have sex with me but chooses masturbation instead. I assure you that we have a sex life and a great one ...
A. 27 August 2014: OP, I meant 'accept it OR move on'. Don't force yourself to swallow something you can't tolerate. By the same token you can't force him to do or not do something against his will.
Nevermind whatever reassurances he gives you. Assume he's watching... (read in full...)
How do I introduce my daughter to my boyfriend officially as my boyfriend?
Q. Hello Aunts and Uncles. I have a very basic question that I need some advice on. I have decided to introduce my daughter to my boyfriend officially as my boyfriend, but I'm not sure how best to go about it. I have been dating my boyfriend...
A. 25 August 2014: I agree. No need for a formal announcement here. It doesn't change anything, right?
if she asks you can answer simply and honestly, but I'd leave it be and continue on as usual. ... (read in full...)
Why does my b/f keep masturbating to porn when he knows how much I hate it?
Q. Okay, literally I have caught my boyfriend of one year masturbating to porn countless times. Every time he's doing it he's had the option to just have sex with me but chooses masturbation instead. I assure you that we have a sex life and a great one ...
A. 25 August 2014: While sex with you may be plentiful and good, masturbation offers him a quick release without having to consider anyone but himself. He does it to porn because he enjoys it. Simple as that. I'm neither condemning nor justifying it. Just answering ... (read in full...)
We had an argument and she broke up with me
Q. My girlfriend lost her dad 12 months ago he always loved Mablethorpe and had a chalet down there my partner kept it going my partners family was having a family gathering in Mablethorpe she went to chalet while I stayed at home. I didn't feel I was ...
A. 25 August 2014: I was thinking the same thing about the phone bill. Whether it was a genuine query about the bill or just a means of getting her attention, it was poorly timed and I can understand why she'd be put off by it. I guess it was the proverbial straw that ... (read in full...)
My family and friends dislike my boyfriend
Q. It seems like everyone wants me to end things with my boyfriend, and that only I can see how amazing he is to me. I feel like I'm losing everyone, family and friends, over this. Please help me! So some background on the situation. I knew my boyfri...
A. 22 August 2014: If he's the same age you are then his past isn't all that far behind him, so I can understand people's concerns. However if they aren't giving you ultimatums them leave them to their opinions.
With the negative comments people make about him, I i... (read in full...)
We want a boy but I don't want my husband to be disappointed if it isn't
Q. Hello! I am 12 weeks pregnant, due in March 2015! My husband wants, a little boy, therefore I do to. I even talk to my stomach as if I were having a boy. But lately I have had a lot of anxiety inside me. I am so worried that, I will have a girl, I ...
A. 22 August 2014: Many men do prefer to have boys but they love their daughters just as much, especially when they've been born and they have a real person to hold and protect.
Something you can to help both of you is to stop talking to and about this baby as ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend appears to have lost interest in me
Q. I am in a dilemma right now. It took almost 2 years for me and my bf to begin our relationship. Everything was so perfect in the beginning and as time passed, problems started to pop up. I knew in my heart that every relationship will have to stand ...
A. 22 August 2014: Your boyfriend favours spending time with his friends over time with you because he has fun with them. With you he listens to complaints about not spending enough time together and how the relationships isn't what you want it to be.
The solution... (read in full...)
Why does he lie about stuff just to get away from me?
Q. Boyfriend and I have been together a year and 6 months and we live together. How ever every time we fight, or I'm depressed or upset and cry and freak out on him he makes excuses to not be around me. Like today we have been fighting all weekend ...
A. 20 August 2014: OP, while I can sympathize with you regarding the anxiety and the depression, there is no illness on earth that forces its sufferers to exploit or abuse others. And that is precisely what you're doing to your boyfriend. No one is obliged to stick ... (read in full...)
My Daughter in Law is very hateful and angry all the time.
Q. My youngest son had a previous marriage and has two sons from that marriage. After the divorce, he met a woman online from another state who has one son that he is married to now. His new wife was unhappy about the child support he was p...
A. 20 August 2014: Justbnme, as objectionable a character as your daughter in law may be, remember your son is no innocent bystander here. He picked her. He's decided he'd rather disappoint and inconvenience his own children than disappoint her.
I suggest you igno... (read in full...)
What does it mean if someone apologizes without turning to look at you?
Q. What does it mean when someone apologizes to you but their back is turned towards you? This happened to me with a n employee at work. I am the boss and I thought this was highly unusual behavior. ...
A. 20 August 2014: There isn't much information to go on here so all we can do is hazard a guess. The woman may be genuinely remorseful or ashamed or embarrassed or concerned that she might tear up depending on your response. It could be anything.
OP, it really d... (read in full...)
Is everyone guilty of victim blaming in some way?
Q. I know this is controversial, but I've been discussing it with my boyfriend and some female friends that I have. It's hard to get insight from guys I know because they just "leave it alone". I would LOVE to get insight from social workers or police, ...
A. 20 August 2014: There are folks who hold women to a higher standard and will blame us no matter what. I'm not even going to address those because they don't have valid arguments and therefore they just don't rate.
What most people are referring to is when the... (read in full...)
My temper got out of control. How do I show my g/f that I would never hurt her?
Q. I've been dating my gf for almost four years now. Last night we all went out to a pub and got drunk afterwards we came back to my apartment. Everyone was having a good time so I'm not sure who things turned so bad. Apparently my gf and I went I t...
A. 10 August 2014: I think you think that except for this one incident, everything is fine. As long as you don't actually hit someone, or don't do it often, and claim to not enjoy doing it and apologize afterward, you're okay. These are classic excuses bullies and ... (read in full...)
My temper got out of control. How do I show my g/f that I would never hurt her?
Q. I've been dating my gf for almost four years now. Last night we all went out to a pub and got drunk afterwards we came back to my apartment. Everyone was having a good time so I'm not sure who things turned so bad. Apparently my gf and I went I t...
A. 9 August 2014: HaydenMutch, booze and anger are a deadly combination and since you apparently can't be trusted to handle yours, I'd say one place to start is to stop drinking. At least until you quit having these emotional meltdowns.
I don't know if your gir... (read in full...)
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