Should I go and see him after nearly 2 years apart?
Q. Hello aunts and uncles I had a friendship with a man for just over 5 years. We were both in our late 40s (now early 50s) and divorced, so free and single. We slept together in the early months, but he stopped it because he wanted us to be friends...
A. 17 November 2014: Very good! I like your response.
Fingers crossed.
Thanks for the follow up. ... (read in full...)
I think I'm being manipulated!
Q. I think I'm being manipulated. My husband's best friend is getting a divorce after 20 years of marriage. His wife was always cold with us. Their visits got rarer and rarer to the point that she stopped coming all together and he visited us alone...
A. 15 November 2014: Good! Glad we could help and thanks for the followup.
... (read in full...)
Should I go and see him after nearly 2 years apart?
Q. Hello aunts and uncles I had a friendship with a man for just over 5 years. We were both in our late 40s (now early 50s) and divorced, so free and single. We slept together in the early months, but he stopped it because he wanted us to be friends...
A. 12 November 2014: I wouldn't agree to see him unless I knew it would be worth my while and anything less than 'I've had a change of heart. I've done nothing but think of you ever since we parted ways and I won't risk losing you again!' wouldn't be worth my while.
... (read in full...)
Former fwb guy is now acting weird since I have started dating someone!
Q. I've had this thing for ages with this guy. We started off as friends with benefits really, no strings and that's what we were both happy with. This carried on for about a year and obviously we got to know each other really well and it did develop ...
A. 11 November 2014: I'd say he was jealous. Just because he didn't want you officially, doesn't mean he wants someone else to have you. He enjoyed having his girlfriend and his special lady friend on the side (even if you weren't sexual at that time). I can't say I ... (read in full...)
I don't have strong feelings for him. Should I just let him go once and for all?
Q. Hi guys. Well, I have been seeing a guy casually for the last three months, and it has been a very on off situation. Having just come out of a relationship when I met him (only a month after two years together), I wanted to take things slow but ...
A. 10 November 2014: You're very welcome. Glad to help.
:)... (read in full...)
I don't have strong feelings for him. Should I just let him go once and for all?
Q. Hi guys. Well, I have been seeing a guy casually for the last three months, and it has been a very on off situation. Having just come out of a relationship when I met him (only a month after two years together), I wanted to take things slow but ...
A. 9 November 2014: I think you're creating rules and deadlines where none exist. Who says you have to be madly in love with him to spend time with him? Who says you have to meet his kids and get married? Who is setting this time table you're so worried about?
You d... (read in full...)
I've never had a boyfriend because I fear commitment
Q. Im 18 and have never had a boyfriend. Its not that this is the problem, its just that in the past year i have probably been asked out by about 15 different men. Some of them I have been attracted to and some of them i knew quite well and really ...
A. 9 November 2014: I think it's not commitment you fear, but the possible loss of self. Picture what your ideal relationship looks like - the one you WANT to happen, not the one you're afraid will happen.
What do you have now that you think you'll have to give up?... (read in full...)
It's the end of our friendship ..........
Q. Hi, I have been friends with a man for 7 years and we are both married. We get along really well, but only get to chat a couple of times a month. I will shortly be leaving the school where we usually catch up and although nothing has ever gone on ...
A. 9 November 2014: I wouldn't read more into it. He was diplomatically letting you know he knows you have feelings for him, that nothing can come of them and it's best you both move on.
A friendship with this man is inappropriate and you know it. His wife is fine ... (read in full...)
How does one go about securing a friend with benefits?
Q. I am recently divorced. I'm not ready to get into a relationship, I still have anger over my wife's decision to divorce me. So I've been looking for something that seems somewhat popular these days, a friend with benefits. I've been looking ...
A. 9 November 2014: You have to nurture the friendship before you have the benefits and even then the latter is not guaranteed.
I'd wager you're a bit too hungry for the sex which leaves others with the impression you're just looking for a hook up.
Then again, m... (read in full...)
Why would my mother say that?
Q. My mother was casually complaining about my older brother's bad behaviour while sweeping in the living room. Suddenly, she said. "That's why I can't love my children more than I love myself." in an annoyed tone. Without giving any details about my...
A. 9 November 2014: Your mother was frustrated and her comment was a reflection of that. I would not read more into it.
You haven't given us any other reason to think she doesn't love you.
In addition to being a blessing, motherhood is also a HUGE, never endi... (read in full...)
Boyfriend was holding ex and kissing her on the face. Did he cheat?
Q. I have been with my bf for about a month. He is my coworker and he left his live in gf of over a year to be with me. I found out that he talks with her either by text or call everyday still. And he still see's her once or twice a week. Works on her ...
A. 9 November 2014: Your boyfriend crossed the line. this isn't a one off, but a pattern of behaviour that is not going to get better with time.
It's a deal breaker and I can't think of anyone who would recommend you give him any more chances.
He's still in... (read in full...)
Boyfriend was holding ex and kissing her on the face. Did he cheat?
Q. I have been with my bf for about a month. He is my coworker and he left his live in gf of over a year to be with me. I found out that he talks with her either by text or call everyday still. And he still see's her once or twice a week. Works on her ...
A. 9 November 2014: Your boyfriend crossed the line. this isn't a one off, but a pattern of behaviour that is not going to get better with time.
It's a deal breaker and I can't think of anyone who would recommend you give him any more chances.
He's still in... (read in full...)
I think I'm being manipulated!
Q. I think I'm being manipulated. My husband's best friend is getting a divorce after 20 years of marriage. His wife was always cold with us. Their visits got rarer and rarer to the point that she stopped coming all together and he visited us alone...
A. 5 November 2014: You owe this woman nothing beyond common courtesy. Whatever her reasons for being cold and standoffish with you she had a decade in which to clear the air.
Tell your husband whatever you want, whenever you want. Tell her nothing. In fact take jus... (read in full...)
Telling my lover about an old sexual experience with someone else?
Q. Should I tell my partner my sexual experiences from the past? I know normally it's reallt up to the person to decide to do what they feel is right and comfortable. Normally I'm pretty open about my experiences and wouldn't mind sharing but the ...
A. 4 November 2014: I forgot to add...and this is just as important as not volunteering information...
DO NOT LIE about your experiences. Even if asked, you're not obliged to tell, but you can be honest about declining to answer. Keep it brief, though because ... (read in full...)
I want to get married at Disney World but he doesn't
Q. I got engaged a few month ago and need some help. Since I was 10 I said I was going to get married at Disneyworld and I've never changed my mind. My fiance wants a big wedding here. I don't!! All we do I argue over it because I want to go to ...
A. 3 November 2014: I agree wholeheartedly with celtic tiger.
The wedding is about celebrating the MARRIAGE but you've turned it into your very own fairy princess day.
Maybe now isn't the right time. Your fiancé seems to be the only with a level head on his shou... (read in full...)
Telling my lover about an old sexual experience with someone else?
Q. Should I tell my partner my sexual experiences from the past? I know normally it's reallt up to the person to decide to do what they feel is right and comfortable. Normally I'm pretty open about my experiences and wouldn't mind sharing but the ...
A. 3 November 2014: Please, do yourself and him a HUGE favour and let sleeping dogs lie.
Once you tell him, it will forever haunt both of you. He'll be here writing to us about how he can't get the images out of his mind and you'll never have another moments ... (read in full...)
Should I go off the pill now or wait and make an announcement?
Q. My partner and I both want kids, he is of the mind set that he doesn't want to TRY and conceive, he would like it to just ... Happen . Without too much stress. He would be happy if I turned around tomorrow and told him I was pregnant. A little bit ...
A. 2 November 2014: I would be matter of fact about it and just remind him that you'll have to stop taking the pill in order to become pregnant and leave it at that. You don't need to scare him with a long, deep, drawn out conversation about it.
Keep it brief, l... (read in full...)
How can I keep the night going, tactfully?
Q. I'm going on a second date with a girl in a couple of days. We went out for drinks on our first date, which was also the first time we met. Overall, the date went well; it wasn't a smash, but we chatted for over an hour and seem to have some things ...
A. 30 October 2014: I would definitely NOT invite her over to your place. It's way too soon to be hanging out at each other's homes.
Ask her if she's up for going for a coffee afterward.
A lot of folks out there seem to make the mistake of spending too muc... (read in full...)
Is it mean to take back my necklace that my boyfriend wants to keep?
Q. Hey, so I'll make this short and sweet. I needed a second opinion, because my friend said that this was a bad idea. Last week when I was over at my boyfriend's house I left my FAVORITE guitar pick necklace, it's my absolute favorite necklace...
A. 27 October 2014: Take back your necklace because it has grater sentimental value to you than to him, BUT don't make a big thing of it because I suspect he'll come up with excuses (including how he suddenly can't find it). I think your best bet is to seize the ... (read in full...)
My parents need me to get in contact with my ex?
Q. I have an issue. My mom and dad need me to get in contact with my ex. My ex and I dated last year, and it was a horrible, horrible relationship. He broke my heart, and made my life miserable. By far, the worst relationship I ever had. He left me ...
A. 27 October 2014: First, contact the ministry of transportation in your area to find out exactly what the proper procedures are.
Second, if your parents do need to be in touch then it is THEY who should contact him. I understand they hate him, but you're the one ... (read in full...)
I was drunk and punched my boyfriend in front of his co-workers. Now he's telling me to come get my things!
Q. My boyfriend is a senior managering director in a company with 750 workers and met me at a social event that my company went to and i work in a factory making pies and at another event i got what you would say had far too many drinks and he did not ...
A. 26 October 2014: Go and collect your things, with whatever grace you can muster up. No arguing or trying to patch things up and definitely no scene.
Then take some time to think about your behaviour and make a decision to either moderate your alcohol consumpt... (read in full...)
My ex was friendly but then he sent me a really nasty email and deleted me. Was this the work of his girlfriend?
Q. Slightly confused tonight. My ex and I broke up about 8months ago and we both have new partners. We kept in touch, but hardly spoke really - when he did speak to me he would try and get me to meet him or would he would speak about how much he ...
A. 26 October 2014: I think his girlfriend discovered some of those old messages, the ones in which he told you he missed sex with you. So he's tried to show her how you mean nothing to him by sending you that nasty message as 'proof'.
In my opinion, it's more lik... (read in full...)
Is it okay for my girlfriend to sleep in another guy's bed?
Q. I just recently started dating someone new and she has had a lot of friends that are guys most of which state she's hooked up with or has had sex with in the past two weeks ago she slept over at her friends house which was a guy in the same bed and ...
A. 22 October 2014: I think your girlfriend is a mug and so are you if you choose to stick around. The more I read about her the less I think of her. Inviting a former bed buddy to evaluate you and your relationship over speaker phone? I don't know what further... (read in full...)
My best friend said its either her or my boyfriend!
Q. Please help! I recently fell out with my best friend of 11 years. the reason we fell out was a little to to with alcohol and alot to do with our boyfriends! basically me n my friend used to see eachother every weekend we went to university toget...
A. 21 October 2014: Thanks for the follow up, but before you speak to your friend...assuming you haven't already, I recommend you keep that chat brief. Whether your boyfriend would have, but didn't issue a similar ultimatum is not the point. Your friend behaved b... (read in full...)
My parents object like crazy that I wanna go out with a guy alone!
Q. Hi there :) I recently told my parents that I like a guy and that he likes me too. And I really wanted to gain their trust of just hanging out with a guy. They object like crazy that I wanna go out with a guy alone. Which in a way I understand...
A. 21 October 2014: I'm posting a link to, what I assume is, your previous question so our readers have a more complete picture of your situation and can give you more helpful advice.
http://ww... (read in full...)
Is it okay for my girlfriend to sleep in another guy's bed?
Q. I just recently started dating someone new and she has had a lot of friends that are guys most of which state she's hooked up with or has had sex with in the past two weeks ago she slept over at her friends house which was a guy in the same bed and ...
A. 21 October 2014: I think your concerns are perfectly valid.
Your girlfriend's actions tell me she's receptive to something happening with this guy and therefore doesn't think much of you.
And you can be certain it tells her guy 'friend' the same thing.
W... (read in full...)
Cheating boyfriend?
Q. Me and my boyfriend known each other for 10 years but have been together romantically for the last year. A few weeks ago I noticed he had been sending sexual messages to another girl over skype; when I called him up on it he broke down in tears, ...
A. 21 October 2014: Sadly, your situation happens so often it's cliche...dating profiles they don't know about...blah...blah...blah.... Dating sites do not set up accounts for people at random, nor do they share customer information with their competitors (in ... (read in full...)
I gave an ultimatum to my boyfriend: start talking about your feelings or lose me.
Q. So, i've been searching on google about giving ultimatums and all of them are related to getting married and stuff. Mine is way more simple. Basically, our stone in the path of our two year relationship has been his constant closure towards love and ...
A. 20 October 2014: I meant to say also, I'm glad you found the link helpful. I did too when I discovered it a few years ago.
Your boyfriend might get something out of it as well, but if you send it to him, don't prod him for feedback. Just send it in the spirit o... (read in full...)
I gave an ultimatum to my boyfriend: start talking about your feelings or lose me.
Q. So, i've been searching on google about giving ultimatums and all of them are related to getting married and stuff. Mine is way more simple. Basically, our stone in the path of our two year relationship has been his constant closure towards love and ...
A. 20 October 2014: Asking some questions (ONCE) is not the problem, OP. It's your incessant demands for the answers that is bullying.
Giving him space does not mean don't talk to him for a couple of days then resume questioning when you do see or talk to him. It ... (read in full...)
How do I negotiate this issue? Don't want to feel I betrayed my roomate nor her Bf.
Q. My close friend and roommate has been dating a guy for several months now. I don't know him that well, but recently he has been sending me texts and facebook messages asking how my close friend acts in relationships. For example he sent me if he ...
A. 20 October 2014: He appears to have a difficulty recognizing and respecting other people's boundaries. not just yours, but your friend's as well.
He'll stop contacting you when you start ignoring him and he finally realises it's pointless.
You could forward an... (read in full...)
Been single for 9 months. So why am I attracted to Players and Commitment Phobic men?
Q. i find myself stuck. Iam really attracted to good looking men who are commitment phobic/players. I've tried dating the nice guy and i get really bored and not at all interested. Ive been single 9 months now and i just want a good relationship. sick ...
A. 20 October 2014: I suspect that while you may want a relationship, you're afraid of losing yourself in one which is why you're drawn to unavailable men. Maybe you think they won't smother you the way a serious guy might.
Picture what your ideal relation... (read in full...)
Can dating profiles be cloned over multiple sites or is my boyfriend lying?
Q. Hi all, So I have been going out with my boyfriend for 18 months and we met on a dating site. 2 months into our relationship I found he was still logging in to pof the site we met on and my only dating site I joined. He said that can't be right he...
A. 20 October 2014: I got a bit of a chuckle reading your follow up. 'Ok then, as long as the dating/hook up profiles were real...'
he really is quite pathetic, but OP, he's also, in my opinion hazardous to be around. He's unstable and dishonest.
Glad to hear ... (read in full...)
I'm worried about boyfriend using an old flings photos to get off on
Q. Hi Just looking for advice. My boyfriend once admitted to me that he occasionally (one every week or two) masturbates to a handful of girls he knows - one of these girls he slept with a couple of times a few years ago. But they've known each oth...
A. 20 October 2014: 'Every week or two' is not 'occasionally'. It's regularly. And it seems he has a bit of a 'fuck you' attitude whether you're fighting or not. My opinion, since you asked, is this guy is not a keeper. I understand that we can be aroused by someon... (read in full...)
Turns out that my mother is a prostitute and everyone at University and school knows. Should I move away?
Q. Turns out that my mother is a prostitute and everyone in school and my university knows. OMG!!!!!!!! what can i do? should i move? i cant believe this, i cant even go out! my life sucks, hope no one other than me ever has to experience this. Every...
A. 20 October 2014: Since the proverbial cat is already out of the bag and life hasn't come to a crashing end, I say stay where you are.
Starting anew somewhere else just means you'll have the worry of discovery hanging over your head once again.
It's uncomfor... (read in full...)
I gave an ultimatum to my boyfriend: start talking about your feelings or lose me.
Q. So, i've been searching on google about giving ultimatums and all of them are related to getting married and stuff. Mine is way more simple. Basically, our stone in the path of our two year relationship has been his constant closure towards love and ...
A. 20 October 2014: OP, this link explains different personality types and I think, if you allow yourself to be open minded, you'll gain some new insights into your boyfriend. Take a special look at 'The Thinker' because I suspect your boyfriend falls into this ... (read in full...)
My best friend said its either her or my boyfriend!
Q. Please help! I recently fell out with my best friend of 11 years. the reason we fell out was a little to to with alcohol and alot to do with our boyfriends! basically me n my friend used to see eachother every weekend we went to university toget...
A. 20 October 2014: Let her go.
For one thing, I don't like ultimatums so the person giving me one would be the one to be cut loose.
And for another, she's unstable and highly volatile and I don't like that sort either. They're too demanding and too much work to... (read in full...)
Can dating profiles be cloned over multiple sites or is my boyfriend lying?
Q. Hi all, So I have been going out with my boyfriend for 18 months and we met on a dating site. 2 months into our relationship I found he was still logging in to pof the site we met on and my only dating site I joined. He said that can't be right he...
A. 20 October 2014: This may be paranoia, but I got a weird feeling when I read that he'd invited you to camping with 'no phones or computers'.
He's trying to lure you out in the middle of nowhere and away from help.
Please don't go, OP. I could be wrong, but I ... (read in full...)
He's not speaking to me. Not calling me back. If he cares so little should I be worried about his car insurance premiums?
Q. My bf of 4 yrs hasn't spoken to me properly since last sat when he as meant to come down for weekend. he works away. I'm actually and have susected he's actually found someone else... but only the other week he was taking about spending xmas her...
A. 19 October 2014: If you're listed as the primary driver on his policy, then I assume his insurer has permission to speak to you about the account and you have permission to make changes. Soooo, I suggest you delete yourself first (you may have to do this in writing) ... (read in full...)
Can dating profiles be cloned over multiple sites or is my boyfriend lying?
Q. Hi all, So I have been going out with my boyfriend for 18 months and we met on a dating site. 2 months into our relationship I found he was still logging in to pof the site we met on and my only dating site I joined. He said that can't be right he...
A. 19 October 2014: He's lying. Hackers intent on stealing his money would not give a fig about arranging hook ups for him. He's the only one who stands to benefit from all these accounts. Why would competing dating/hook up sites be so eager to share all this cust... (read in full...)
My crush is asking for a threesome! Do I do it?
Q. My crush asked me to do a threesome, he has this fantasy. he said I could choose any friend /girl/ of mine to do it and make me feel more comfortable. I am interested in having something more with Him, I'm confused. I wouldn't want to do that if it ...
A. 16 October 2014: This crush is one way only. A guy who had a real crush wouldn't dream of behaving in a way that might turn a woman off him.
He absolutely is using you, OP. Without doubt. ... (read in full...)
As an adult do you discuss your sex life with your parents?
Q. As adults, do you discuss any of the details of your sex life with either (or both) of your parents? Is it normal for a parent to want to know about your sex life? I am 23 years old. I recently started dating a new guy exclusively a few weeks ago,...
A. 16 October 2014: This is far from normal. In fact I have to agree with honeypie in that it's downright creepy.
What does your father think of this? ... (read in full...)
Why does my husband continue to destroy me like this? What do I do?
Q. Please please help me, im so hurt, demoralised and depressed, i really am breaking down. Ok, so, we've hardly spoken for 4 weeks now. I only speak in reply to him when i am spoken to, that way, he cant accuse me of prying or accusing him!! After 20...
A. 14 October 2014: A good starting point would be to jot down the questions you have, for your private use, not his. Keep a digital copy if you like and just email it to yourself.
Then I would consult an attorney. They can help you sort out what needs to be done ... (read in full...)
Why does my husband continue to destroy me like this? What do I do?
Q. Please please help me, im so hurt, demoralised and depressed, i really am breaking down. Ok, so, we've hardly spoken for 4 weeks now. I only speak in reply to him when i am spoken to, that way, he cant accuse me of prying or accusing him!! After 20...
A. 13 October 2014: My suggestion is that you find out whatever you can on your own before approaching him. And as for cooking and shopping, just buy food and supplies for yourself and let him figure out that he has to buy his own.
Maybe when he sees that you're a... (read in full...)
Why does my husband continue to destroy me like this? What do I do?
Q. Please please help me, im so hurt, demoralised and depressed, i really am breaking down. Ok, so, we've hardly spoken for 4 weeks now. I only speak in reply to him when i am spoken to, that way, he cant accuse me of prying or accusing him!! After 20...
A. 11 October 2014: What discussion? What is it that needs to be said?
You've said yourself the marriage is over and from what I've read, I have to agree so what is holding you back? What is it you need him to do or say before you begin building a new life for your... (read in full...)
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