I see his actions as being disrespectful of our time spent together. He sees my reaction as emotionally unstable.
Q. Guy I've been seeing for over a month won't stop texting when I'm around him! Was I out of line by the way I handled this? Is there a better way I should have handled it? I was over at his house. Literally from the time I got there until righ...
A. 14 March 2014: Not that I wish for you to be treated badly, but I'm sort of glad he acted the way he did because, as you say, he only made it easier for you to dump him. If he'd given you a guilt trip and promised to be better you might have been tempted to take ... (read in full...)
I see his actions as being disrespectful of our time spent together. He sees my reaction as emotionally unstable.
Q. Guy I've been seeing for over a month won't stop texting when I'm around him! Was I out of line by the way I handled this? Is there a better way I should have handled it? I was over at his house. Literally from the time I got there until righ...
A. 13 March 2014: OP, cut yourself some slack here. These 'doozies' put their best foot forward when you first met which is why you gave them the time of day. You cut them loose fairly quickly after learning they were not ideal.
We get post after post after po... (read in full...)
He wants me to sell my home and buy a bigger house but his drinking concerns me
Q. Hello there - Am after some advice. I am 40 years old and am living with my partner and our 6 month old baby. To cut things short my partner has always struggled with alcohol but is a loving partner and a wonderful Dad and never drinks at ...
A. 13 March 2014: I agree. You're much better off without him. It's not just that an habitual drinker is not reliable, it's that they create a whole new set of things to worry about. They're more a liability than an asset.... (read in full...)
Is my boyfriend looking for someone else?
Q. I've been with my boyfriend a little over a year and I've noticed within the last few months he seems to be less interested in spending time with me. We live together but don't see each other that much because of work. The only thing we really do ...
A. 13 March 2014: I second Honeypie's answer. He does seem to be losing interest. Definitely start extricating yourself from him. Get your ducks in a row and part ways. ... (read in full...)
My friend is offended by her work colleages, was she right to be?
Q. A good friend of mine has recently been on 2 wks vacation from work, she didn't go anywhere, she stayed in our city and relaxed, saw friend etc. She went back to work on Monday, when I met up with her yesterday (for a coffee after work) she c...
A. 12 March 2014: I have to agree. If she'd planned something interesting and out of the ordinary she'd have talked about it in the weeks and days leading up to the event. People would have undoubtedly asked about when she got back.
She didn't so people assumed ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend said I was over committing and broke up with me
Q. I kissed my girlfriend on the lips for the first time 1 1/2 months after we started dating. Two days later She dumped me. She said I was over committing. She said she felt I was over committing and she became uncomfortable. What does...
A. 12 March 2014: General rule of thumb: when someone tells you you're over-committing, they're not afraid of being hurt. It's a warning that your hopes and expectations far exceed their own. In short, they're not as interested in you as you are in them.
This ... (read in full...)
Said that she loves me but isn't in love with me -- could this change?
Q. I feel in a strange place at the moment. My girlfriend left me and I honestly thought she was the one. She said she loves me but is not in love with me? DO you think this could change over time? I have agreed to give her time and space to think bu...
A. 11 March 2014: No, sadly I do not think it will change over time. Loving you but not IN love with you means just that. She's grown fond of you over the time you dated but is no longer romantically interested.
It's sad, yes, but not a life ending catastro... (read in full...)
He wants me to sell my home and buy a bigger house but his drinking concerns me
Q. Hello there - Am after some advice. I am 40 years old and am living with my partner and our 6 month old baby. To cut things short my partner has always struggled with alcohol but is a loving partner and a wonderful Dad and never drinks at ...
A. 11 March 2014: Stay put.
Right now you're living within your means, you don't need him to make ends meet and you have security. Regardless of how 'nice' he is he is not reliable. If he were, he wouldn't need you.
Stick to your guns on this and don't budge ... (read in full...)
It's late now, isn't it? We'll never get married, will we?
Q. I've been living with my so-called fiancé for 10 years. We have 2 kids. Originally we planned to get married right away and went so far as to fill out all the paperwork but never ended up having a ceremony because of my student loan debt. Flash ...
A. 11 March 2014: I get the staying at home when your children are too young to be in school. I did that myself and believe it is preferable to leaving them in someone else's care. So if you can afford it, great. However, I assume the plan wasn't that you stay at... (read in full...)
His contact list has a photo of his ex wife but not one for me
Q. I'm hurt and confused, would you feel the same if you noticed your husband has a contact photo attached to his ex wife, his ex crush and even a platonic female friend but none for you. Does this mean I'm not pretty enough or not as special?...
A. 11 March 2014: Honestly, this wouldn't even be on my radar of things to worry about save from a security/privacy stand point. If his cell phone is ever lost all his information including a picture of me would end up in some stranger's hands. If everything else ... (read in full...)
It's late now, isn't it? We'll never get married, will we?
Q. I've been living with my so-called fiancé for 10 years. We have 2 kids. Originally we planned to get married right away and went so far as to fill out all the paperwork but never ended up having a ceremony because of my student loan debt. Flash ...
A. 11 March 2014: How exactly does your not being able to dress up like a medieval faery princess for a day cause your children to be heartbroken and their lives destroyed? I know plenty of children whose parents aren't married and none of them are heartbroken. Not ... (read in full...)
Should I? I want to confront my ex. We broke up 2 weeks ago. We dated for 4 years.
Q. I broke up with my girlfriend of 4 years two weeks ago and now I want to confront her. Following the break up, I came to the conclusion that she's been interested in someone else - a "friend" - while we were dating. She had in fact cancelled p...
A. 11 March 2014: Most welcome. I think we can all relate to not wanting someone to think they got one over on us, but the best way to demonstrate that is to move on gracefully. It will get easier.
Thanks for the feedback. ... (read in full...)
At 15 why is it so wrong to flirt with guys if I only want it to stay at the friend level? And why is it difficult to make friends with guys?
Q. I've seen a few posts in here about people who were taken the wrong way or who accidentally led guys on. It seems like most of you aunts and uncles think that flirting/hanging out one-on-one is leading a guy on (this happens to me ALL the time!) ...
A. 11 March 2014: Flirting is our way of letting someone know we're interested and available. If you do it with just about anyone how are people supposed to know when you're just playing and when you're really interested?
It's far from uncommon for someone ... (read in full...)
A question about how men aged around 50 express emotions?
Q. Hi I have a question about the way that men - especially men aged around 50 - express their emotions. I understand that, because of social conditioning, men and women may experience very similar emotional ranges but express them differently. ...
A. 11 March 2014: Anger is a feeling and I'd say that any man who can express that easily enough clearly has no problem expressing his feelings.
Bullying and the anger associated with it is NEVER caused by an inability to express protective feelings, but by a dis... (read in full...)
Someone is going to be unhappy, who do I choose?
Q. My boyfirend and i broke up at the end of january and have decided to get back together but my family wont support us. The reason is he broke up with me and its a LDR i'm so upset like i want us all to be happy and get on but its a case of if i stay ...
A. 10 March 2014: Continent...pffft. I meant off the island.... (read in full...)
Someone is going to be unhappy, who do I choose?
Q. My boyfirend and i broke up at the end of january and have decided to get back together but my family wont support us. The reason is he broke up with me and its a LDR i'm so upset like i want us all to be happy and get on but its a case of if i stay ...
A. 10 March 2014: Let's look at the value of what you're fighting for.
Your boyfriend. How long distance is he? Is he in Britain at least or completely off the continent? Did you meet him online or had you known him in real life and he moved away to attend school o... (read in full...)
Should I? I want to confront my ex. We broke up 2 weeks ago. We dated for 4 years.
Q. I broke up with my girlfriend of 4 years two weeks ago and now I want to confront her. Following the break up, I came to the conclusion that she's been interested in someone else - a "friend" - while we were dating. She had in fact cancelled p...
A. 10 March 2014: Worst case scenario: you're right about everything and she's cold hearted, calculating and entirely self centered. If she doesn't care about you she will care even less how you feel. The last thing I would do with such a person is show them how ... (read in full...)
If I agree to marry him, can I make myself love him someday?
Q. Dear friends.. I am 26 yrs old now. I know its time for me to get married.. And there is a man 36 yrs old, single who loves me so much. And wants to marry with me. I knew him from May last year. He is so kind and always on my side whenever i need ...
A. 10 March 2014: Yes, it is possible for couples to grow to love one another, or at least develop fondness. Marrying for love is a fairly recent concept and when you consider how many arranged marriages there have been all over the world and throughout the ... (read in full...)
Has he backed off because he's about to move abroad for work, or is he just not into me?
Q. I recently found out that the guy I've been dating for 5 months is going to be moving across the world for a work project for at least several months. His current job is temporary as well, so, when he finishes his project, he doesn't know where ...
A. 10 March 2014: I think he's into his career and may have enjoyed the time he spent with you but not enough to give it up to have something permanent with you.
So my advice is savour the memories you made together. Maybe you'll get to see again before he leaves, ... (read in full...)
I want a fling with with this guy at work, but his mixed signals are hard to read!
Q. I started a new job in a new city. There’s this guy at work who’s behaviour I can’t seem to work out. I heard through ‘water cooler’ gossip that he recently got out of a long term relationship. I understand that he’s adjusting to being single aga...
A. 10 March 2014: You've just started a new job in a new city and you want to jeopardize that with an office fling? And with a man you know is still adjusting to being single again?
To what end? Are you hoping it will lead to something physical or do you just wan... (read in full...)
After all this bitter history, it's hard to trust her good will. Why would my co-worker pick now to be civil?
Q. Do you trust the good will of people you have a tainted history with? My experience is work related. I work in construction/development and I’m quitting a job I’ve had for about 3 years now, during which, I had to deal with a person at work who...
A. 10 March 2014: I suspect the woman felt undermined or at the very least concerned that her standing was tenuous and her contributions not truly appreciated (by others, I mean, not necessarily you). And it appears there was just enough cause to validate her ... (read in full...)
Should I tell this new guy everything my ex did to me?
Q. Hello Dear Cupid, I have been talking to a guy online and we talked about getting together since he lives fairly close by. Initially, I didn't want to go back online because I got hurt in my last relationship. My sister thought it might be a good ...
A. 10 March 2014: Something else I forgot to mention...
I think you should pace yourself with this guy or any others if this one doesn't pan out. You've already slept with him and you can't undo that, but remember that he is as human as the next person. Like mos... (read in full...)
Should I tell this new guy everything my ex did to me?
Q. Hello Dear Cupid, I have been talking to a guy online and we talked about getting together since he lives fairly close by. Initially, I didn't want to go back online because I got hurt in my last relationship. My sister thought it might be a good ...
A. 9 March 2014: If this is another 'abused by the ex' story, then my answer is an emphatic NO, you should NOT tell him all about what your ex did to you.
We've all been hurt. We've all at some point in our lives experienced betrayal, rejection, loss and humiliat... (read in full...)
I see his actions as being disrespectful of our time spent together. He sees my reaction as emotionally unstable.
Q. Guy I've been seeing for over a month won't stop texting when I'm around him! Was I out of line by the way I handled this? Is there a better way I should have handled it? I was over at his house. Literally from the time I got there until righ...
A. 9 March 2014: 'After talking with friends and exes, I learned that the "oversensitivity" goes away once you find the right guy that respects you.' WRONG. Oversensitivity 'goes away' when you stop relying on others to do or be what you want and start relying on... (read in full...)
I want to trust him but I've been hurt too much!
Q. Dear Cupid, It's been 7 months and I'm happy to say that my last bf and I are no longer together he chose his online life over us and I've found someone new. The man I'm with is like something out of one of those crappy love movies h...
A. 7 March 2014: The way to feel more secure is to pace yourself, remember that the man is human and to be prepared to walk away at the first red flag instead of hanging about hoping it will get better. By red flag I mean, not a minor human failing or small ... (read in full...)
I see his actions as being disrespectful of our time spent together. He sees my reaction as emotionally unstable.
Q. Guy I've been seeing for over a month won't stop texting when I'm around him! Was I out of line by the way I handled this? Is there a better way I should have handled it? I was over at his house. Literally from the time I got there until righ...
A. 6 March 2014: I think YouWish summed it up perfectly yet again. You're both too old for this sort of thing. The constant texting, doing it when he's got company, keeping a friend who sends him nude pictures and expecting you to meet her.
Seriously, wash you... (read in full...)
My fiancee thinks I am putting my car before our wedding and moving into our own place! Is she being fair in her response?
Q. My 23 year old fiancée thinks I (26) am putting my car in front of our wedding and finding a place to live. My grandfather left me the car, granted it has sentimental value to me, being the only thing I really have left plus it is quite a rare car...
A. 6 March 2014: Yeah, I second that on the weddings. These so called traditional weddings aren't traditional at all unless you're medieval royalty.
They're unnecessarily long, expensive, narcissistic, cheesy, boring events frankly and there are better ways to ... (read in full...)
I get angry when my fiancee doesn't help me much
Q. I have a learning disability and she my fiancee has. She doesn't help me when I can't think on my own sometimes. Like she opened an account before I did and they accepted her credit union information and not mine at social security office. And no...
A. 6 March 2014: If the solution is so simple that it doesn't require a scientist to figure out, then why didn't you? Why is it all on your girlfriend?
OP, life is hard enough for everyone. We all have our burdens to carry, but you're expecting her to carry yo... (read in full...)
We told each other we like one another, but he doesn't want a relationship right now?
Q. We have gone from talking to eachother almost everyday for nearly 4 months, to now nothing...Its been a heart breaking process, to like someone so much who doesn't want to be with you. He's 34 and im 25, and he had not long come out of a relatio...
A. 5 March 2014: As far as any romantic possibly is concerned, yes, move on from him completely. Don't hide from him on Facebook (or anywhere else). Think of one of your acquaintances you don't have feelings for, then treat him like that.
When you meet someone ... (read in full...)
I don't want our relationship to be all about sex, but I feel I am making it that way.
Q. Hey well I am a 20 year old male and I am dating a 22 year old virgin and I know she wants to wait and I do too. The problem is I've been wanting to have sex with her lately really bad. I have been pushing for it and feeling horrible. I love her and ...
A. 5 March 2014: Simple. Stop mentioning it.
You've already said everything there is to say (besides the actual planning of it which is premature at this point). Saying it again just puts pressure on her and she'll either acquiesce to it far sooner than she's re... (read in full...)
My fiancee thinks I am putting my car before our wedding and moving into our own place! Is she being fair in her response?
Q. My 23 year old fiancée thinks I (26) am putting my car in front of our wedding and finding a place to live. My grandfather left me the car, granted it has sentimental value to me, being the only thing I really have left plus it is quite a rare car...
A. 5 March 2014: If I've understood your post correctly, you live with your fiance`s family and enjoy a considerable savings for doing so (otherwise you wouldn't have moved in). Right? Because you're gainfully employed, you've already saved several thousand... (read in full...)
How far should the "my house, my rules" concept be taken?
Q. I am curious to know your thoughts about the concept of "my house, my rules". Recently there was a question posted by an (over 18) OP living at home with her parents, who wanted to get a piercing against her mother's vigorous oppositi...
A. 5 March 2014: Good question. For me it's something I would address on a case by case basis, taking into account the people involved, the circumstances, the issue that raised the question and what I would expect were I the one living in someone else's home and ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend tells me my vagina is loose and we have other relationship problems. What should I do?
Q. Hi all. I'm sorry I have question. Me and my boyfriend is on long distance relationship now. He was staying in same country for last 3 months and now he's in his country for some visa and application purposes to come back here. Actually I feel a l...
A. 5 March 2014: Send him an email telling him it's over. Don't get into long explanations but do cite his atrocious behaviour as the reason. Then block his email and phone number so he can't contact you again and you won't be tempted or talked into taking him ... (read in full...)
I get angry when my fiancee doesn't help me much
Q. I have a learning disability and she my fiancee has. She doesn't help me when I can't think on my own sometimes. Like she opened an account before I did and they accepted her credit union information and not mine at social security office. And no...
A. 4 March 2014: I'm not sure what your fiance was supposed to have done here. Was your information not accepted because it was incomplete or was there some other reason?
Your learning disability means you have difficulties, learning isn't impossible for you. You... (read in full...)
My boyfriend talks about separating most of the time
Q. Hi I need your advice here is my case, there is a guy who I have known and chat, talk over phone and have coffee for some weeks and he ask me to be his GF and I accept and things get begin, every thing was good but after almost 3 weeks since our ...
A. 3 March 2014: After three weeks of dating he's already confused so I say let him go once and for all. That should clarify things.
OP, we've all been hurt in life so when someone feels the need to make an announcement about it, I take that as a warning sign. '... (read in full...)
He invited me, so why shouldn't he pay?
Q. Dear ok Cupid, I have male friend who I haven't talked to for over a year, asked if I would accompany he and his family to Disney Land n July 2014. He told me that all I have to pay for is my airfare. If this was an invite, don't u think he...
A. 3 March 2014: I suggest he ask someone else who would actually appreciate it for the generous offer that it is.
OP, this friend didn't invite you our for lunch or coffee, but invited you on a trip and all you'd have to cover is your air fare and spending... (read in full...)
How do I deal with my close-minded mother?
Q. Hello, this may seem like a pathetic question...but how do I deal with my traditional close-minded mother? I am 20 and will be turning 21 soon, but I still live with my parents. I want to get an eyebrow piercing (I have wanted one since highscho...
A. 3 March 2014: By getting your own place and supporting yourself.
OP, regardless of your legal age if you're still living in their home and they're supporting you while you're in school then you'll have to respect their wishes.
Whatever benefits there a... (read in full...)
Live-in boyfriend lied and went to a strip club behind my back... now my family is telling me to just get over it!
Q. I've been dating my bf for 7 months. Things moved really fast for us so please no rude comments about that. We met through my brother, they are coworkers. He started hanging out and after. A Few weeks he asked me out on a date. After the date he ...
A. 3 March 2014: I did think of that as I was typing, but in cases like this I consider the giving as bad as the receiving.
If a man doesn't want his girlfriend giving lap dances to other men then he shouldn't be paying other women to give them to him. ... (read in full...)
I'm scared he will get drunk and cheat on me.
Q. I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for 10 months. We moved in with each other after 2 months. I'm really worried about the relationship. He's a good lovely person but my gut feelings lead my to think otherwise and horrible things. ...
A. 3 March 2014: OP, the reason you're insecure here is because you've abdicated some of your power to him. Instead of choosing to be with a man who doesn't smoke, you're relying on him to suddenly become a man who doesn't smoke so you can feel happy. And it's ... (read in full...)
Live-in boyfriend lied and went to a strip club behind my back... now my family is telling me to just get over it!
Q. I've been dating my bf for 7 months. Things moved really fast for us so please no rude comments about that. We met through my brother, they are coworkers. He started hanging out and after. A Few weeks he asked me out on a date. After the date he ...
A. 3 March 2014: I have mixed feelings about strip clubs and my approach would depend on the circumstances of each case. Specifically requesting and paying for another woman to gyrate naked on his lap is something else entirely. And doing it in front of your fr... (read in full...)
Live-in boyfriend lied and went to a strip club behind my back... now my family is telling me to just get over it!
Q. I've been dating my bf for 7 months. Things moved really fast for us so please no rude comments about that. We met through my brother, they are coworkers. He started hanging out and after. A Few weeks he asked me out on a date. After the date he ...
A. 2 March 2014: For me the issue is the lap dances not the lying. Lap dances are very intimate and your boyfriend had not one, but TWO of them. He didn't tell you because he knew you wouldn't appreciate it, but that knowledge didn't stop him from doing it. I'm ... (read in full...)
After the drunken argument we had I'm afraid my partner thinks I haven't really changed!
Q. hi my girlfriend and i have split for 2 months now after a drunken argument day after boxing day.we had been together for 12 months previous,prior to that we had a 2.5yr seperation due to myself committing assault on my partner after she had ...
A. 2 March 2014: Well, you have a history of violence and apparently some issue with the drink, and you haven't heard from the woman in over two months so, yep, that would be my guess.
I don't know if the anonymous male is also you, but I suggest you might wa... (read in full...)
My brother's future wife is lying about her age and her sexual past! Do I tell him or keep my mouth shut?
Q. Hey, everyone...am in desperate need of advice. My elder brother is set to marry this coming july. The problem is he is marrying a woman he dated for only two months. I know most will say that it doesn't matter how long you date. But I think he...
A. 2 March 2014: Normally I would recommend you stay out of it, and that women should not sabotage one another but this is your brother we're talking about and the woman is set to become family.
In this case I say tell him, or better yet, do you have any other si... (read in full...)
She's upset because I didn't change my FB status, am I in the wrong here?
Q. Thanks for reading - not sure who to ask so going to ask you lovely people :) I have been on a few dates with a girl - i am 26 and she is 24 and she is very pretty and when we had our first date, we hit it off. She gave me butterflies and ...
A. 1 March 2014: Two weeks and already she's upset and making demands.
Toss this one back. She's very needy, immature and unstable. Do NOT try or agree to remain friends no matter what the sob story.
Big red flag here..... (read in full...)
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