She's upset because I didn't change my FB status, am I in the wrong here?
Q. Thanks for reading - not sure who to ask so going to ask you lovely people :) I have been on a few dates with a girl - i am 26 and she is 24 and she is very pretty and when we had our first date, we hit it off. She gave me butterflies and ...
A. 1 March 2014: Two weeks and already she's upset and making demands.
Toss this one back. She's very needy, immature and unstable. Do NOT try or agree to remain friends no matter what the sob story.
Big red flag here..... (read in full...)
Am I being unfair or irrational about his apparent lack of interest in making time for me?
Q. My LT bf works long hours, every week day and then has to do work from home at the weekend. As a result, we don't spend a huge amount of time together, usually 8.30/9-10.30 (bedtime) a few days a week and then a few hours on and off at weekend. I ...
A. 1 March 2014: Yes, I'd say so. A few days during the week and a few hours on weekends means most of his free time is spent with you. That leaves little to no time for anyone or anything else. I think the problem is you are too dependant on him. He's out t... (read in full...)
Hurt me once, shame on you. Hurt me twice, shame on me?
Q. I dated and fell in love with a guy in the summer/ fall of 2012, but who ultimately went back to his ex (a prior very long term relationship) and was living with her. We reconnected some months thereafter where we talked about how much we still ...
A. 24 February 2014: Demanding explanations just creates more expectations which requires an investment so it won't help you move on. In fact it would make it that much more difficult to move on.
I doubt this guy sets out to hurt people. I think he's just too afraid o... (read in full...)
Boyfriend cannot express his emotional needs and its driving me away!
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for a few years but have only recently lived together. Up until lately we have been doing very well 99% of the time. We have strong feelings for each other and are an ideal couple. I am 28 and he is a few years youn...
A. 24 February 2014: You've provided very little real information to go on here.
What is it you need him to speak up about in particular? 'His emotions' is rather vague. Is he supposed to discuss his feelings about everything on a regular basis or just the big stuf... (read in full...)
All are blaming me for reporting what I had to. What are your thoughts on people be allowed to bring their children or baby to their workplace?
Q. What is everyone's opinion on people bringing their babies/ children to the work place? The reason I ask is because last week 1 of my colleagues, who is on maternity leave came in with her baby who is 7 months old. We work in a call centre and...
A. 24 February 2014: It's amazing how people will impose upon others without a second thought then get uptight when they're called up on it.
A screaming baby will grate anyone's nerves and those with common sense and courtesy will voluntarily move to another location... (read in full...)
My thirteen year old caught my husband and I having sex. How do I repair the relationship with her?
Q. so every friday, my susband has a day off. we thought to make it special on valentines day, and ended up having sex. we didn't hear the key turn in the door because the next thing i know, my thirteen yearold daughter's standing in the doorway ...
A. 23 February 2014: OP, I think you should let her come to you if and when she feels the need to discuss it. She got a bit of a surprise and she's processing the experience. I've known plenty of people who accidentally walked in on their parents and none were damaged ... (read in full...)
Ewww!!! It became apparent pretty soon into our first telephone call that he was masturbating at the same time!!
Q. I had been building a 'relationship' with a guy online for about 2 months which started with just messaging, then we emailed, then text...eventually when I felt confident enough we spoke on the mobile phone yesterday. It became apparent pretty soon ...
A. 21 February 2014: Let this one go and find one who is already housebroken.
See this is a learning lesson instead of a waste of time. You know more today than you did a month ago and before long, you'll be able to weed out the bad almost immediately.
The oth... (read in full...)
What can I do to make him respect me?
Q. I have been dating my boyfriend for two years and we have talked about marriage. Initially when we went out together in public his eyes were on me, but for the past year he has had a wandering eye and will look women up and down (with his sungla...
A. 21 February 2014: I think the fourth paragraph of my response came across as angry or anti-man when that was not my intent. History has shown that it is very easy to underestimate or completely overlook a danger we've never been exposed to.
Secretly photogra... (read in full...)
What can I do to make him respect me?
Q. I have been dating my boyfriend for two years and we have talked about marriage. Initially when we went out together in public his eyes were on me, but for the past year he has had a wandering eye and will look women up and down (with his sungla...
A. 20 February 2014: The discourtesy he shows you is the least of your worries here.
Yes, openly ogling other women is extremely discourteous to you and would be a deal breaker for me. But he's gone much farther. Photographing random women without their knowledg... (read in full...)
Mixed signals from girlfriend's best friend.
Q. I am getting confused by a girl I have feelings for. I told her a while ago I really liked her and asked her how she felt she just said I'm a no go area. She likes talking to me but says not about that and we should forget about that, but looks at...
A. 20 February 2014: Assuming you haven't already acted out this 'revenge' fantasy with anyone else, I'm going to advise against doing it with this 'friend'.
What you now have is the moral high ground and that is no small thing. Your girlfriend might not bring it... (read in full...)
Husband belittles me in front of friends and family. I want to leave him, but is there any way I can correct the situation?
Q. I became very resentfull toward my husband. The main reason is that he complains to people about me. He doesn't complain to everyone but certain people. Like this couple that we don't see very much often, may be every couple months. Usually ...
A. 19 February 2014: Glad to hear it. For this talk to amount to more than just talk you'll have to make some changes too. For the time being I would limit my attendance to events with those he does not complain about you to. You can see how it goes and re-visit that ... (read in full...)
He's intelligent and confident and I'm worried I couldn't keep up!
Q. I am really attracted to someone - I know he likes me too. The problem is that one of the reasons that I like him is that he is absolutely amazingly intelligent, extremely knowledgeable on loads and loads of topics or, if he isn't, you feel with ...
A. 18 February 2014: Yes, this is simply a case of becoming more confident.
You are no dummy. Apart from your incorrect use of the word 'literally' your post is shows you're intelligent, educated and articulate.
And it's not that you're incapable of knowing all t... (read in full...)
Should I let one ex help me get over another?
Q. I have just come out of a horrible relationship of 10 months. Another ex contacted me to ask if I was ok. He has been really supportive listening and taking me out to cheer me up. We broke up amicably last year because he wasn't over his ex and I ...
A. 18 February 2014: So enjoy the moment but don't get so caught up in it that you blur the line. Keep it platonic and don't hang out at each other's houses.... (read in full...)
I'm worried about him being a dad to our daughter!
Q. my daughters father is still going through a messy divorce. been seperated two years, divorce is over a year and three months now. our little girl is 3 months old. he has shown mixed signals of his interest in her. i feel like he uses me as a ...
A. 18 February 2014: No, I don't think you're wrong either.
I'm not a Facebook person myself but your boyfriend is and for him to post things about his son and the Yankees but not even mention having a daughter tells you what his priorities are.
I wouldn't be wast... (read in full...)
Do I keep blocking him or unblock him? I think how I've moved on is the best revenge?
Q. I had a few posts here and got really good advice. My ex dumped me nearly a year ago. We talked a few times. I initiated contact most of the times. I couldn't let go and get over him because we planned to get married before we broke up and he's my ...
A. 18 February 2014: I think you should stop playing this silly game of block and unblock. Delete his contact information once and for all and don't call, text or email him ever again.
It really doesn't matter what he regrets or doesn't regret. What does matter i... (read in full...)
Husband belittles me in front of friends and family. I want to leave him, but is there any way I can correct the situation?
Q. I became very resentfull toward my husband. The main reason is that he complains to people about me. He doesn't complain to everyone but certain people. Like this couple that we don't see very much often, may be every couple months. Usually ...
A. 18 February 2014: Decline to accompany him on any events with those to whom he is likely to complain about you. Bow out of any you have already planned, even if they're paid for. Money will come and go, but time and experiences cannot be replaced. I don't mean be ... (read in full...)
How can he love me and want to share me?
Q. I have met a man who seems wonderful in every way. We have an incredible connection on so many levels yet I have a question. He has said to me that if I feel the desire to have sex with another man in his presence he is ok with that. Even turned on ...
A. 18 February 2014: My first thought is the same as Honeypie's. He's granting you what he wants for himself (not men but sexual variety).
This is a more common than you think fetish so it could also be a prelude to asking you to perform in front of him with another ... (read in full...)
My LDR called me names and doesn't want to speak with me anymore.
Q. Why is he so horrible? He's really broken my heart:(? So my bf have been dating 10 months long distance where he'd call me all the time. But lately he had been acting weird lately not calling as much, no I miss you to love you. Today I went out ...
A. 16 February 2014: Something doesn't add up here.
Either there is a lot of missing background information or your online boyfriend wanted out but didn't want to look like the bad guy so he accused you of cheating to give himself an excuse.
... (read in full...)
Wondering if he sent a Valentines Day card to his ex-girlfriend
Q. We have been engaged for 3 years now. The first year we dated I found out he sent his ex-girlfriend a birthday card. She had broke up with him and he was hurt pretty bad by the breakup since he loved her, wanted to marry her and he proposed to her ...
A. 15 February 2014: No, I don't think a man should be sending his ex girlfriend or any other woman friend a Valentine's Day card. I don't recall any Hallmark ads inviting male consumers to 'show her and her how much you care'.
People generally don't send special ... (read in full...)
The guy I've been dating is torn between taking things further with me or his female best friend. What should I do?
Q. Really need help So since early January I have been seeing this lovely guy, and we both really like each other and everything has been going so well but now just as we are on the verge of becoming boyfriend and girlfriend to one another he has t...
A. 15 February 2014: OP, for me the choice would be very simple. I'd walk away and wash my hands of him entirely.
He obviously has a romantic interest in this other woman or he wouldn't be confused. He wouldn't risk losing the girl of his dreams just to spare a friend... (read in full...)
Why is it okay to criticize big boobs?
Q. Every time there is a question about small breasts, I've noticed a lot of people take it upon themselves to criticise big breasts and call them 'ugly' and 'saggy' it's really insensitive, and quite offensive. The latest question I'm referring to is ...
A. 15 February 2014: You're laying all of the blame at men's feet but it's been my personal experience and observation that women are, BY FAR, the most likely to offer unsolicited opinions about another woman's breasts. These women seem to assume that because they're ... (read in full...)
I'm a very sensitive person and I always get drawn to troubled souls. Should I follow my head or my heart on this one?
Q. I have just seen a guy again who I met a year ago. We get on very well and have a connection. I have one dilemma .I am 39 a mother of an amazinh boy. This man is 35 with no permenant job and my gut feeling is that he may be a little troubled. Im a ...
A. 13 February 2014: ALWAYS follow your head.
If you want to be happy and have a quality life then you have to make good choices and consider the long term, not just what feels good in the moment. ... (read in full...)
College peer said something which hit a nerve. How should I react to this considering the issues I have?
Q. Slight problem, but this ones getting to me. I am at college at the moment, and i'm doing some GCSE retakes because I decided it would be better than going straight on to A-levels. My GCSE cl...
A. 13 February 2014: OP, his comment, though unimaginative, was probably not intended to injure you. If you have such a poor self image then you probably haven't expressed romantic interest in men. And why would you if you assume they won't be interested in you? Your ... (read in full...)
Does this mean he's losing interest?
Q. hello im a 36 year old female in a long distance relationship. i really love him and he says he loves me too but, lately i have had some strange feelings. we use to talk every day now we really dont. he use to call me two and three times a day now, ...
A. 12 February 2014: One of our aunts advised another woman in a similar situation to get a friend to call him from a number he won't recognize and see if he answers. This friend shouldn't engage him in conversation. Just pretend it's the wrong number and hang up. I ... (read in full...)
I thought I was doing the right thing by being honest but he turned it against me
Q. I recently met someone and felt it right to be upfront about the fact I had ( several years ago now) been involved in an abusive relationship. I left that relationship with nothing, emotionally,financially and tbh was completely broken and had to ...
A. 12 February 2014: Taking things slowly and being guarded are normal, appropriate precautions to take with people you barely know. You don't have to justify them by furnishing details about past hurts any more than you should provide a full medical history to justify ... (read in full...)
I need help with my in-laws! I need a break!
Q. I'm feeling really mixed up right now. Please help. I've recently bought a house with my partner of 12 years. We're very happy together. I try to tell myself that his parents are good people. They've financially helped us buy the house and th...
A. 12 February 2014: You may be surprised to learn that your boyfriend is just as irritated at his parents' intrusion as you are, but he doesn't know how to handle it any more than you do. Your complaints trap him between a rock and a hard place.
As long as you're a... (read in full...)
Has anyone had experience of a lump in the breast and found out later that it was not cancer? Just need some calming and reassuring please?
Q. Just wanted to say first, I have already been to the doctor and I am having tests run. Has anyone had any experience with finding a lump or something abnormal in their breast? I have found a lump recently and I am waiting on some test results ...
A. 10 February 2014: My cousin had one some years back and it turned out to be, I think, a fat deposit or a cyst.
... (read in full...)
I sent an embarassing drunk text to my ex. Should I apologize or leave it?
Q. My ex broke up with me 5 months ago. We sometimes see each other in mutual events. We are friendly with each other at the events. Sometimes we talk to each other, sometimes we don't I drunk texted him two times before. The first time was on my b...
A. 10 February 2014: Normally I would recommend acknowledging and apologizing for bad behaviour, but since this isn't the first time you've drunk texted him I suspect your apologies will seem empty and more likely just another excuse to text him.
Maybe you should s... (read in full...)
If he could be so convincingly romantic then, how can I trust his sincerity now?
Q. How can I trust my fiance when he's already lied to me? My fiance and I have been together for two and a half years. We're getting married in early May, but I am having trouble trusting him. For me it was love at first sight. Well, not exactl...
A. 6 February 2014: You're right, OP. It generally is in poor taste for friends to discuss details of one's past relationships with a new partner, but at the same time it would be a bit weird and unhealthy to pretend those exes never existed. The past does come up now ... (read in full...)
Should I tell this new guy about my previous abusive relationship?
Q. I have been dating this guy for almost a month now. We have hit it off very well and get along great, he is like my other half. We have talked about dating before we become official because we want time to get to know each other better before ru...
A. 5 February 2014: My first piece of advice is to slow down. He may seem like a great guy (and he may indeed BE a great guy) but you've only been dating a month. You really don't know each other well at all. Take each day as it comes and don't plot too far into the ... (read in full...)
If he could be so convincingly romantic then, how can I trust his sincerity now?
Q. How can I trust my fiance when he's already lied to me? My fiance and I have been together for two and a half years. We're getting married in early May, but I am having trouble trusting him. For me it was love at first sight. Well, not exactl...
A. 5 February 2014: What exactly was your fiance supposed to do differently? He dated those women before he met you, or at least before he dated you. I have to assume he had some affection for them at the time. So his feelings for you didn't progress at the same pace... (read in full...)
Can't support my boyfriend through his illness because too many others want to visit him as well!
Q. I think more than advice I need to put my thoughts into words. My boyfriend was about to commit suicide three weeks ago. He lives with some friends, and as someone is always in the house his friend was with him, noticed he wasn't doing well, and ...
A. 5 February 2014: Most welcome. Best of luck. :)... (read in full...)
He threatened that tomorrow either she's gone or he's gone. Any advice would help!
Q. Hello and thanks I have been married 22 yrs. I got married young. Its been abit of a roller coaster at times but somehow I stayed. My husband can be very mean when he drinks. He calls me names points his finger in my face I tell him to stop. Whe...
A. 3 February 2014: He's not working so that means HE needs YOU. He contributes nothing to the quality of your home or your lives so that means you can do without him. Why keep him around?
OP, the solution here is simple. Turf your husband out and let your friend s... (read in full...)
I met him on a dating app, we met up twice, had sex the scone time, and now it's been 2 days since I've heard from him!
Q. A couple of weeks ago my friend got me to download a dating app, I'm only 18 so I wasn't sure if I really wanted to start 'online dating', but I downloaded it anyway. One of the first guys I matched with was an 18 year old guy who was also new to to ...
A. 3 February 2014: You're moving way too fast with this guy and it's not just about the sex.
You should not be hanging out at the home of someone you've just met, unless sex is what you're hoping for. If you want something more substantial then you have to be more ... (read in full...)
Can't support my boyfriend through his illness because too many others want to visit him as well!
Q. I think more than advice I need to put my thoughts into words. My boyfriend was about to commit suicide three weeks ago. He lives with some friends, and as someone is always in the house his friend was with him, noticed he wasn't doing well, and ...
A. 2 February 2014: Another thought I had and this is more about his depression in general. I've noticed that in an attempt to support the sufferer and help them recover, well intentioned friends and family often unwittingly pressure them to take on far more than they ... (read in full...)
Can't support my boyfriend through his illness because too many others want to visit him as well!
Q. I think more than advice I need to put my thoughts into words. My boyfriend was about to commit suicide three weeks ago. He lives with some friends, and as someone is always in the house his friend was with him, noticed he wasn't doing well, and ...
A. 2 February 2014: For someone in the midst of depression, the most simple tasks can seem overwhelming. If he had the inner resources to establish boundaries he wouldn't be depressed and in hospital. It's a catch 22. So he has to deal with things in small, bite size ... (read in full...)
He seemed genuine in his texts but when we met up he only wanted one thing!
Q. Hello, so confused. I've been talking to this guy for about a week, the conversation was going good andhe kept asking if we could meet up normally I dont meet them straight away I l like to talk to them for a couple of weeks first. However he seeme...
A. 1 February 2014: I wouldn't invest a whole lot in this guy. He made a very poor first impression by leaving you wondering about his intentions.
It's not a good idea to hang out at the home of someone you've just met or to have them at yours. It's way too intimate... (read in full...)
Would you consider this emotionally cheating?
Q. I'm posting on here about my friends behaviour with my other friend who's a guy. I introduced them a while back and she and him had a fling, not so long ago, but it ended cause he got a girlfriend. However, even though he's now with someone new, ...
A. 30 January 2014: I think you should stay out of it. You've already told her what you think of all this and they're both adults and should know right from wrong. Any fallout from this 'friendship' will be their problem, not yours.
Wash your hands of it and obvi... (read in full...)
Confused about my boyfriend's intentions...
Q. I have a boyfriend, our relationship started before 5 months, I never new him, we met on the whatsapp. He proposed me within 6 days, without any meeting, now we just met at once in 5 months and had sex 1 time. Till now he didn't proposed for marriage...
A. 29 January 2014: Dump him.
He's not a good guy. Decent people do not propose to someone after 6 days, only to meet up with them once for sex in 5 months.
He's not a good man and definitely not someone you'll want to be married to 5 years from now. ... (read in full...)
When we argue my girlfriend holds her education over my head!
Q. Thanks for the responses in advance. I have been in a relationship with my girlfriend for about 4 years now. We live together. She is ready to graduate with her masters degree and I have recently graduated with my bachelors (I was not accepted...
A. 29 January 2014: I say drop her as well. She's not a catch.
As YouWish has already said, educated and intelligent are not the same things and a degree only matters when it's for something marketable. Some of the most successful people have been those with lit... (read in full...)
Should people in a relationship discuss their sexual past? I'm uncomfortable hearing about boyfriend's past.
Q. Hi everyone, I had a question and I hope you can answer. If you are in a relationship with someone, is it alright to ask about their sexual past? My boyfriend was telling me about the women he has been with and it made me a little uneasy. H...
A. 29 January 2014: To answer your first question, I would hardly consider it a violation of privacy to ask someone the odd question about their past when they've been volunteering information themselves.
I've never been one to ask about a boyfriend's sexual p... (read in full...)
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