Before I visit a doctor does anyone have any idea what this could be?
Q. About two months ago I had sex and the lips of my vagina swoll up really bad. It was unfortable and it burned to pee. I haven't had sex since then. Then a little while after that I woke up and one side was swolen (I think I might have been playing ...
A. 16 June 2014: Google yeast infection and see if the description resembles what you're experiencing.
If that's what it is, it is easily treated. ... (read in full...)
Should I tell her I've had a crush on her for the past three years?
Q. so to begin with I have had a crush on this girl in my class for three years and now I am 15. she was our school topper and she is beautiful. I think she is single and doesn't talk much with boys. we occasionally had conversations like about on...
A. 16 June 2014: I wouldn't. You have no idea how she feels about you which means you'd be taking an awfully big risk.
Get to know her a little better then come back and ask our opinions when you have more to go on.... (read in full...)
Lumps after shaving
Q. never had these lums on my vagina at first after shaving 5 month ago i notice the lump on my outside vagina im real stres pls help me. Its not sore either not itchy ...
A. 16 June 2014: Assuming there has been sexual activity, I'd say it was ingrown hairs. A nuisance but far from life threatening.
Google the proper procedure for shaving that area for some tips on how to avoid them. You could also purchase something like 'Bikini ... (read in full...)
What does this comment mean?
Q. I work with this young married woman. As part of our job we deliver certain things around our place of work to different departments. Usually she walks behind me when we do this and she keeps slapping my bum. I once asked her what her husband woul...
A. 16 June 2014: She's either joking or hinting that she's attracted to you and wouldn't mind you putting your hands on her and that her husband doesn't care enough about her or their marriage to mind you putting your hands on her either.
Do not take this any... (read in full...)
I'm worried I can't compete with her ex who just bought her a car
Q. This is probably gonna be a long story, but here goes: I recently graduated from college and moved back to my hometown. Between having a full-time job and not having many friends that still live here anymore, I decided to make an effort to date u...
A. 16 June 2014: She knows the ex boyfriend has feelings for her and bought her a car, or at least helped secure financing for one, in a bid to win her back. She knows this, claims he has no chance but accepted the car anyway.
Don't you think that might encourag... (read in full...)
My father died and my husband has been unkind on Father's Day
Q. My husband has always been difficult. One moment supportive, the next very much not. Having had a dreadful year dealing with two cancers, radiotherapy and chemotherapy, to top it all my father has just died. Today has been very hard, Father's d...
A. 16 June 2014: If I had considered your behaviour childish I would have stated that outright. My point was that as a grown woman you can handle some time on your own so keeping you company whenever you want it is not as pressing an issue as it would be to a small ... (read in full...)
My father died and my husband has been unkind on Father's Day
Q. My husband has always been difficult. One moment supportive, the next very much not. Having had a dreadful year dealing with two cancers, radiotherapy and chemotherapy, to top it all my father has just died. Today has been very hard, Father's d...
A. 15 June 2014: Not agreeing to whatever it is you want is not, in itself, 'being hurtful'.
I'm not sure what was so grievous about him wanting to spend time alone with his father. How do you know others were going to be there? Is he ill? Considering you've j... (read in full...)
My husband has 2 other children he never told me about and he won't talk to me about it
Q. i have been married for 9 years and we dated for 2. My husband told me that He has a son and they lived together. We got married we came to the United States after 2years we came with his son who was 8yrs when we left Africa. I had 3kids in America. ...
A. 15 June 2014: Before you try to pin him down for a conversation, think about what you want to say to him, and want him to say to you.
How long has he known about these other two kids? What involvement if any if he going to have in their lives? Will he be requi... (read in full...)
I'm utterly ashamed of my drunken behavior in front of my ex and his girlfriend!
Q. Im so ashamed and embaressed. So lastnight I went to a friends birthday party. My ex from a very long time ago was there. I had drunk quite alot and I was flirting outrageously with him. Then later on in the night his girlfriend arrives. I did not ...
A. 15 June 2014: Draw whatever consolation you can from this, but I don't think anyone is laughing at you. In fact I wouldn't be surprised if your antics didn't cause some tension between your ex and his girlfriend, though nothing that can't be smoothed over.
... (read in full...)
Does your husband ever discount what you are saying and have bad manners?
Q. This is my second marriage. My husband has a bad habit of saying "Whatever" if I am trying to talk about something, even if it is minor talk. He was gone for a couple of days on business and when he got back I was telling him that I observed ...
A. 15 June 2014: It's been my experience and observation that people who habitually mistreat others cannot be reasoned with. You have to train them, like a dog, to behave differently by behaving differently yourself.
The next time your husband begins eating b... (read in full...)
My new boyfriend is overbearing.
Q. Sorry in advance if this is long...I have a new boyfriend, I'm 18 and he's 22. I spend a lot of time with him and I do really like him but there are a couple things that just irk me. When we see eachother in person and go on dates everything is go...
A. 15 June 2014: The ONLY thing that's going to change this is for him to understand that your well being is more important to you than his feelings. You teach him this NOT by explanation but by demonstration.
The second thing that helps is for him to see that... (read in full...)
Why did this guy say such horrible things to my boyfriend about me?
Q. Why did this guy say such horrible things to my boyfriend about me? I'm so upset. So my boyfriend has been away studying for a year now and his friend came back and I had bought him his birthday present so I met up my bfs friend and his gf t...
A. 14 June 2014: Why on Earth are you chasing him?
Of course he knows what he did. He didn't grow up in a bubble. ... (read in full...)
Why are men put off by women who lack confidence?
Q. Why are men put off by women who lack confidence? Why is it so unattractive to them? I ask this because i believe that's why my crush isn't showing interest. He's 40 odd and I'm 27. I am almost certain I saw him looking at my body and the very ...
A. 13 June 2014: For the same reasons women are put off by a lack of confidence, and it's not limited to dating.
People who lack confidence are a bit more work and less fun compared with folks who are.
Your scenario is, I think, a simple case of you reading m... (read in full...)
My gay friend is cheating on his boyfriend. How can I deal with this situation?
Q. Around four years ago me and 3 friends from school created a gmail account dedicated exclusively to school things. Presentations, home works, things like that, we all had the password to that account and whenever we wanted to store important ...
A. 13 June 2014: You did nothing. In fact the wrong was done by your friend who used what he knew was a shared account for his own sexual pursuits. I'd say HE was the one doing the imposing.
Email accounts are easy to create and if he wanted his private life kep... (read in full...)
Why did this guy say such horrible things to my boyfriend about me?
Q. Why did this guy say such horrible things to my boyfriend about me? I'm so upset. So my boyfriend has been away studying for a year now and his friend came back and I had bought him his birthday present so I met up my bfs friend and his gf t...
A. 13 June 2014: If the friend did indeed say this, then it showed appalling lack of judgment and manners to repeat it to you. It also shows that your boyfriend's friend doesn't hold either you or him in high regard.
On the other hand, it's entirely possible... (read in full...)
My last relationship was an open relationship but my reputation in my small town is ruining my chances in my current relationship with an amazing girl
Q. My last relationship was an open relationship, we had one night a week that was open to other, we tried swinging, and had more then one threesome, it started out fun and exciting but quickly turned bad. Living in a small town people know your bus...
A. 13 June 2014: Talk is cheap so words won't convince them of anything. Your actions over time are what matters and as far as this girl and her family are concerned not enough of it has passed since your last relationship.
Her father is concerned about far more... (read in full...)
Catholic man marrying atheist woman. Catholic church, civil ceremony or compromise?
Q. I am a catholic. My fiance is an atheist. We have been together for nearly 4 years and love each other very much. I want to get married in a catholic church and she wants a civil ceremony. We have stalled with wedding plans because we just don't ...
A. 12 June 2014: My mum is Catholic and my father grew up Methodist (but doesn't believe in or practice any religion) and they were able to marry in a Catholic church, as long as my father agreed to allow their us (the children) to be raised as Catholics.
I dar... (read in full...)
I found out my boyfriend of 7 years cheated on me and I don't know what to do
Q. Earlier this week I found out my boyfriend of 7 years cheated on me. We were hanging out at the park and he was showing me a text message from a friend that was funny. So i was read it and then decided to randomly look at his other texts for fun. ...
A. 9 June 2014: Honeypie summed that up perfectly.
It's the pursuit of 'closure' that prevents people from having any because it keeps them anchored in the pain ('I can't move on until he/she says or does such and such...').
It's acceptance that helps you m... (read in full...)
My gf wants to see my best friends dick because he said it was big
Q. Me and my girlfriend been togeder for 1 year and 3 mounts and stil counting and she and i have a best friend who is my friend since we were little. We once was talking about sex and my best friend told us that his dick is big and not so much girls ...
A. 9 June 2014: Absolutely nothing.
Your friend's claims of being well endowed are either true or false. Finding out won't change anything in your life for the better, but it may change them for the worst.
What if he is big? Then what? Will it affect how yo... (read in full...)
I found out my boyfriend of 7 years cheated on me and I don't know what to do
Q. Earlier this week I found out my boyfriend of 7 years cheated on me. We were hanging out at the park and he was showing me a text message from a friend that was funny. So i was read it and then decided to randomly look at his other texts for fun. ...
A. 9 June 2014: I don't believe he's sorry. He just regrets being caught. In his ideal world he'd have both you and the sexual variety he craves. The two would be completely separate compartments, one never interfering with the other.
What's more he bragged ... (read in full...)
Sex with two different men when dating?
Q. I'm new to dating....is it ok to have sex with 2 different men when neither of them are committed to you??...
A. 9 June 2014: Technically you aren't breaking any rules, but be forewarned that many men and women are a put off when they discover someone they're interested in just had sex with someone else a few nights earlier.
We've had a number of posts from people w... (read in full...)
A row after dating for 7 weeks and he's backed off. Should I leave it?
Q. Myself and the guy I'm dating had our first argument last week. (We've only been together seven weeks), it wasn't so much an argument but a disagreement over his behavior. He got all defensive, as well as going on the offensive to the point wer...
A. 4 June 2014: I don't know who was right or wrong in the argument, but if he's obviously ignoring you then I would definitely not send any more messages and let him be the one to initiate contact.
In my opinion, sending another text wishing him luck would se... (read in full...)
How can I calm my fears before I see the Doctor for my appointment with Dr in 2 weeks time?
Q. Ok so I know everyone on here is going to tell me to see my Dr- I will do in 2 weeks time as that was the soonest appointment but in the mean time I just wanted some advice/ reassurance. I found 2 small pea size lumps on 1 side of my neck -at 1st ...
A. 3 June 2014: It sounds like cysts (harmless). I had one of those on my neck (and I too was terrified it was cancer) and it eventually went away on its own. My sister had a couple of cysts removed years ago (also from her neck).
It could also be part of an al... (read in full...)
I'm happy to be a girl, I just don't want breasts
Q. I have always hated my breasts and I wish I didn't have them. My mom says I will change but I don't think I will because I just look in the mirror and cry and just hate everything I see I want a flat chest so badly and I just don't know what to do ...
A. 2 June 2014: Some good advice here about the breast binding and the bras. OP, the right bras, the right clothes, and proper posture and a means of dealing with rude comments will do wonders.
I don't know what you're doing or not doing, obviously, but slou... (read in full...)
Would it be bad to tell my girlfriend I want to spend time with my friends?
Q. Is it bad to tell girlfriend I want to go meet some friends for an hour or two. Once she comes to my house she doesn't leave till weekend finishes. I can't get rid of her because she doesn't see me all week. Sounds bad but I'm a guy I like to do ...
A. 1 June 2014: Not bad at all. This isn't a guy thing. Most people need personal space, time to be alone or to catch up with other friends.
... (read in full...)
Is cell phone snooping okay?
Q. Is it okay for someone you are dating to go into your cell phone behind your back and look at text messages you have received and sent to other people?...
A. 30 May 2014: Definitely NOT okay. It is so NOT OKAY that if this is someone you've only recently begun dating I would recommend you dump them on the spot. ... (read in full...)
Any tips for approaching my crush?
Q. I recently had a dream that I was getting married, well kinda. Well for some reason I was at my middle school ( currently in the 10th) and there was this semi long hall way to get to te front doors. Well I was walking towards the front doors and ...
A. 30 May 2014: Treat him as a friend unless he gives you reason to suspect he feels the same way about you.
There is nothing overly sweet about him asking a mutual friend to relay a 'hello' to you. It's what people do. You did the same with one of his friends.... (read in full...)
How can I say I'm sorry?
Q. I had been with a guy for a few months, friends before that for a long time. When we were friends he was seeing someone else and during their break up he came to me to vent and talk over. We became close. We fell out and had not been speakin...
A. 30 May 2014: I can understand his displeasure at finding out you'd been following his ex on Twitter. To him it was sneaky, disloyal and weird. However I think going 'ballistic' was a bit over the top.
I would not apologize. He's far too angry right now for ... (read in full...)
Should I go to my boyfriend's best friend's birthday party? I don't want any more drama!
Q. Ive been seeing my boyfriend for about 10 months, exclusive for 6 months. Its going brilliantly! And we get a long so well. But last week hit a bit of a problem. So we have gradually been introducing each other to family and friends etc and its ...
A. 30 May 2014: You seemed to handle the situation fine so there was no need for him to join in and escalate things.
Without making any demands or even remotely sounding accusing, come up with a plan of action you BOTH feel comfortable with, in the event the woma... (read in full...)
She said my 'offer' isn't good enough?
Q. My girlfriend and I have been together for 4 years and I recently asked her to move in with me. However she turned me down. I'll admit we've had our arguments over the years, mainly because she kept saying she thought I acted single but I've never ...
A. 30 May 2014: She was very smart to decline. Why should she settle for far less than what she wants?
I can fully appreciate that you're not ready for marriage and children. It's definitely not for everyone. By all means, live life and take each day as it comes... (read in full...)
Any suggestions on how to act when I meet my ex again?
Q. Next month I'm going to a concert with a pair of friend of mine, but I've just found out there will be my ex too with us. I've been in a relationship with an incredible guy for the past six months, but I can't say I've completely forgotten my ex. T...
A. 29 May 2014: Picture someone you once knew, liked well enough but didn't have strong feelings for one way or another. Look at how you treat them. Do the same with your ex.
Do NOT reminisce with him. Keep it cordial and upbeat. ... (read in full...)
Has this turned into a casual sex thing?
Q. so I am a little confused on my situation.. my ex and I are not together, yet we are in this cycle of not talking, then talking, hooking up, meeting up while we are out, then not talking again for a week or two. he is well aware that I love him and ...
A. 29 May 2014: If you're not in a relationship, and he's made it clear that you're not, then yes, this is just a casual sex thing. There is nothing wrong with wanting to be single, but he shouldn't expect all the perks of having a girlfriend if he doesn't want ... (read in full...)
My family guilted me into getting back in touch with my LDR
Q. I have a dilemma… I dated a guy very shortly (less than 4 mo.) and he wanted to do a long distance thing but I didn’t like him enough to do so. He just didn’t “get it” so I had to rudely and abruptly cut contact and block him. My mom gave me a lot...
A. 29 May 2014: Just stop talking to him, as Honeypie says. A break up conversation will accomplish nothing of any value. He'll either pressure you to stay or, more likely by the sounds of him, get nasty.
If your mum thinks he's a catch, she needs her head exa... (read in full...)
I found out he has another girlfriend but he wont admit it!
Q. Me an my boyfriend have been toghter 16mnts an I recently found out he's been seeing another women.Although he still tries to hide her she makes herself well known around da neighborhood DAT they are toghter my problem is he will not admitt it an ...
A. 29 May 2014: Throw in the towel.
You've discovered his words are worth nothing, so why seek more of them?
You have all the information you need to make a decision. So make it and stop mucking about. ... (read in full...)
I don't trust my boyfriend.
Q. I do not trust my boyfriend. We've been together 4 years, don't live together but have talked about moving in together in the near future. We have problems in our relationship but the biggest one is I just don't trust him. I'm always questioni...
A. 29 May 2014: Your trust issues are yours to overcome, not his to accommodate. And likewise with his.
If your 'good example' is typical of your interaction with him, then I'd say there is no such thing as 'just asking' or 'just curious'. All questions are load... (read in full...)
Should I introduce this married woman to my wife?
Q. I am married. I met this woman some time back. She seems to be very interested in me. She is married. We used to share lot of sms and our own photos. Recently I told her that she is looking good and if we were not married then I would have asked for ...
A. 28 May 2014: Leave it be.
OP, it was unwise and in poor taste to tell this colleague that you find her attractive and that if you weren't already married you'd pursue her. If you're not satisfied with your wife, you really shouldn't announce it to others, ... (read in full...)
I'm scared to be a single mum with 2 kids at 20, but I don't think I love my fiance anymore. What can I do?
Q. I'm in a very tricky dilemma. I don't think I love my fiance anymore. Me and my fiance have been together for over 2 years now and have a daughter together and I'm pregnant again. Although we are constantly arguing, we don't get along anymore, I ...
A. 28 May 2014: I understand your dilemma, but the good thing is there is no deadline here so there is no rush to make a decision one way or the other.
My advice is to get your ducks in a row. Gather up whatever important/official documents, family photos e... (read in full...)
I mentioned my ex and now this man has blocked me
Q. When I was in college a guy lived next door and I lived there until the end of college and moved and he went to michigan we were just friends and neighbors. He came into town not to long ago and low and behold his aunt is next door that he was ...
A. 28 May 2014: The latter I'm afraid.
Regardless of how close you are to someone or how far back your acquaintance goes it was tasteless to share that kind of information.
By doing so you've informed this man that you keep track of that sort of thing, that y... (read in full...)
Given the circumstances why wont he give me a key?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together about two and a half years. He is 35 and I am 27. He has been married before, I have not. I am at his place often, probably about 5 or 6 nights a week. I do not have a key, so if he has to work before me he will ...
A. 27 May 2014: Personally, I think spending 5-6 nights a week with a boyfriend you don't technically live with is a bit much. I'm guessing you pitch in for food here and there, but you're not paying for rent or utilities. That makes you a squatter.
My first th... (read in full...)
My boyfriend keeps registering on dating sites and tells me it's just "for a laugh"
Q. Could some one advise me what to do please? I have found my boyfriend to be registering on different date sites. This is the fourth time I found out about it now. He says its just for a laugh and unregisters from them, but then secretly registers on ...
A. 27 May 2014: He's on the hunt, OP. He's not doing this for laughs.
Even if he were, as Honeypie points out, what sort of person goes to the trouble of creating an account just so he can laugh at others?
Definitely not a joke.... (read in full...)
Is my Bf's outlook on ever or never having children normal?
Q. So my boyfriend loves kids, and he's so cute playing with them etc. however we've talked and he's on the fence about actually having kids. He's absolutely fine with having them if I want em but he just can't see where people find the time for it. ...
A. 27 May 2014: His thoughts on children are normal for anyone, man or woman.
You don't have to be committed to one view or another here. It's perfectly normal for a person to be good with kids but not be interested in having any of their own. It's also possible... (read in full...)
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