Texting--am I asking for too much?
Q. My bf and I text throught the day and everuthing is fine but sometimes he disappears and doesnt txt me back in a long time, and when ge returns he said he went to do something. I dislike it a lot, because I think he should be courteous and ...
A. 10 April 2014: Yep, I think you're asking too much as well.
Unless you're sending specific information such as 'running late. will be there in half an hour' texting is an informal means of communication for people who are too busy or not in the mood for a proper... (read in full...)
Why is he pushing me to drink alcohol? Is there something weird about his actions?
Q. i have been seeing this guy for a little while now and we met at the club, and i was drinking a little and just being fun. ( no sexual stuff involved.) After that I've noticed that everytime we go out, and alcohol is present he pushes me to drink...
A. 8 April 2014: It could be that he wants you to be more negotiable to having sex afterward, but it's most likely that he doesn't want to 'drink alone' or be drunk alone.
Just stand your ground. If he keeps pushing after that stop seeing him. ... (read in full...)
This incident made me question whether our core values are in sync
Q. I feel very disappointed in my girlfriend of almost 4 years yesterday, but I don't think she understands the core issue (or maybe it's not an issue). We are 29 and 28. We were in a car driving to a birthday event about an hour away with my gir...
A. 8 April 2014: Like the others have pointed out, you gave nothing of yourself, nor did your girlfriend's sister. Your 'generosity' was limited to directing someone else to give and judging them when they didn't.
And automatically handing out food and/or m... (read in full...)
I don't want anyone but medical staff in the room during delivery!
Q. I want to be on my own when i give birth in july...i would like my husband anf family waiting but for my own personal reasons i dont want amyone in the room with me (obviousley apart from any midwives or doctors) but i know my husband really wants ...
A. 8 April 2014: Whether you're alone in a forest, on a bus, at home with a midwife or in a hospital surrounded by medical personnel, that baby is coming one way or another. The whole point of having anyone in attendance is to make it as safe and comfortable an ... (read in full...)
Is there such a thing as having too much sex in a relationship?
Q. Hey guy, hope you're all good. I'll keep this short and sweet. Is there such thing as "too much sex"? I think me and my boyfriend are just overdoing it. We have sex 7 days in a row, but sometimes we have a one day break or two. I just feel like we ...
A. 6 April 2014: 'Too much' is rather subjective. I'd say it's possible to have too much sex if one or both of you is sore and you aren't allowing yourselves to heal or if you aren't getting enough sleep and/or it's interfering in other aspects of your lives.
... (read in full...)
Men: is this a real belief?
Q. Question for the gentlemen only please :) This doesn't actually relate to me as such, but it's something that I heard and thought was ridiculous. I was talking to my male friend and we were discussing girlfriends and things and I ask...
A. 6 April 2014: Most likely it was your friend's way of saying he didn't want to talk about his relationship or its demise. He was directing your attention away from something uncomfortable and on to something absurd or mundane.
I have never heard of this bel... (read in full...)
Job interview included working for a full day, for no pay!
Q. This isnt a relationship question but im hoping someone can help. My niece who is 19 and currently an office temp wants to get in to hairdressing. She saw that a well known salon in our town was looking to hire trainees so she applied - sent h...
A. 6 April 2014: I don't know what the laws are in your jurisdiction, but I'm with the others that some employers have used training or demonstration of skills as free labour.
This happened to my daughter a few years ago. In fact she worked two days, I believe ... (read in full...)
Girlfriend has religious guilt about premarital sex.
Q. We both have our issues that we've been working through. I just can't figure out if we'd both be better off out even though that is not what I want. She has an anxiety disorder and I've been told I have one too or possibly bipolar NOS or ADHD which ...
A. 4 April 2014: Think back to when you two were first dating and nothing was certain so you put your best foot forward. You kept your temper and your demands in check, you were interested in HER opinions and what SHE wanted. You did what you could to impress her ... (read in full...)
Girlfriend has religious guilt about premarital sex.
Q. We both have our issues that we've been working through. I just can't figure out if we'd both be better off out even though that is not what I want. She has an anxiety disorder and I've been told I have one too or possibly bipolar NOS or ADHD which ...
A. 4 April 2014: It's not that your girlfriend doesn't or can't enjoy sex. It's that she doesn't enjoy it with you.
OP, there are two main problems here as I see it.
First, you have failed to grasp that, for women, most foreplay happens outside the bedr... (read in full...)
I hate seeing this woman hurt and string my friend along. Is there anything I can do to help her?
Q. I need some advice. I have a friend who I am really close to. We share a lot with each other and have the type of friendship where we can speak openly. Recently she told me that she felt she could always come to me with a problem because I was ho...
A. 3 April 2014: I'd be honest with her, but as Tisha suggests, I'd use the Socratic Method. That is to get your point across by asking strategic questions. This would encourage her to THINK about her situation instead of just FEELING.
Keep your own opinions... (read in full...)
My question is do all lecturers give students a recommended book that they don't use or follow themselves and expect more from the student?
Q. Hi everyone, I'm in my final year of college and completing my report from my big project. I sent in a draft of my intro the last day and got feedback from my supervisor yesterday telling me that it was crap. I knew it wasn't great but I didn't r...
A. 3 April 2014: OP, my advice is to develop a thicker skin and adopt a more creative approach to your own studies. A professor's job is not to teach you everything there is to know about a given subject but to offer you a foundation to build upon yourself. Sch... (read in full...)
I don't know if my husband will stay in the marriage if there is no swinging involved!
Q. My husband and I got together 4 years ago. He was honest and said he was very sexual from the start. Our sex life was brilliant and after about six months we decided to try swinging, we didn't get off to the greatest start as the first guy was ...
A. 3 April 2014: Accept that swinging is more important to him than you are.
My guess is he assumed you would be more cautious and have fewer, if any, partners and that he'd see so much action he wouldn't notice anyway. If you saw more action than he did, swinging... (read in full...)
Am I only the one who only gets chances with extremely unattractive people or people with strangeness?
Q. Am I only the one who only gets chances with extremely unattractive people or people with strangeness? This has probably been asked before, I don't get it anyone I like doesn't like me back or they've done something unforgivable, yet unattractive...
A. 3 April 2014: Everyone has plenty of chances with unattractive people because unattractive people are a dime a dozen. I mean unattractive overall, as you've described it.
The difference between you and a lot of other women is you don't adjust your standard... (read in full...)
I know I don't deserve my gf's love after what I did but I want to at least make sure she knows how much I regret my actions
Q. My gf and I had been dating for a year and had known each other for 9 months prior to dating. Six months ago a "friend" of mine made a move on my gf and when she turned him down, he poisoned me against her. Taking advantage of my trust in him from a ...
A. 3 April 2014: Assuming you haven't been blocked, I would email an apology and an explanation (do not make excuses) and expect nothing in return. You may not even get a response.
You made a mistake and you're trying to do the right thing here and I applaud ... (read in full...)
Did my suggesting a daytime date put him off the idea? Should I cancel?
Q. After chatting online a guy asked to meet for dinner. I was happy to and we had a nice evening. We paid half each I had no problem with that. He since suggested I go to his for an eve meal. I feel this is too soon as he is an hour away to drive so ...
A. 3 April 2014: Glad to hear you've decided to move on, OP, but I want to add a couple of thoughts anyway.
One, it doesn't matter how far or how close he lives to you it would still have been way too soon to have dates at each of your homes.
And second, s... (read in full...)
Help, my boyfriend is being weird!
Q. Hi there I've been seeing this guy for just over 6 wks now and things were great, he would call me and text me everyday. He would ring me up say he missed me and say you staying at mine tonight and would always want me around, he would make time for ...
A. 3 April 2014: You're not seriously thinking of sticking around are you?
Whatever you had is over and your ex boyfriend has already moved on. There is nothing a discussion will fix here.
I suggest you block/delete him from Facebook, cell phone and email.... (read in full...)
As I haven't heard from my boyfriend in over a month, does that mean I'm single?
Q. It's been about 4 or 5 weeks since I've spoken or even remotely heard from my boyfriend. About this time last month he asked me to pay his phone bill. I politely declined because I thought it was too early in the relationship to be asking to pay one ...
A. 3 April 2014: As the others have said, one week of dating is hardly a relationship.
As a guide, I'd say if you haven't heard from a boyfriend (or even someone you've recently started dating) for two weeks then it's over and I wouldn't contact them again af... (read in full...)
Why do guys not commit to the girl they were with, but with the next?
Q. Why is it that every guy I have dated, is now in a serious relationship, or engaged? But while they were with me, they did not take me serious at all. I was a good girlfriend, I prob could have i?mproved in some stuff. But above that why do guys do ...
A. 2 April 2014: Midsummer, normally these questions are so broad and open ended they're impossible to answer definitively. Why were you attracted to some guys but not others? Why do you prefer one colour over another?
In your case part of the answer is obvious.... (read in full...)
I think my vulnerable friend is being taken advantage of
Q. This woman was previously abused in a very long term marriage. (slapped around then forcibly Raped on her wedding night by her husband.) He abused her in many other ways as well. He made her feel guilty and took great advantage of her. She is n...
A. 2 April 2014: Your follow up just confirmed a couple of things for me. One, that you've written about this woman before and secondly, this is more about your interests than it is about her well being.
Again, you've told us that she says you're over committi... (read in full...)
My family and friends seem to be ignoring me, why?
Q. My family and friends never seem to want to stay in touch with me and I don't know why. This has been going on for a long time. Over the past week or so I've messaged on facebook or texted/called several of my friends and family members, and they ...
A. 2 April 2014: Have you tried asking any of them?
It's impossible for us to tell what you're doing or not doing that might be annoying them, or even if they;re doing the same with each other but you only notice it happening to you.
If this were me, I'd app... (read in full...)
Don't we all smell the same?
Q. Hey guys.I've got a very weird question to ask..first off,I've been friends with this UK lady for 4yrs.cyber_friendship.we've shared a lot.she recently had a baby born.and she used to tell me she doesn't bath sometimes,they I'd ask y and she'd say ...
A. 1 April 2014: No, everyone does not smell exactly the same. Our environment, our diet and our personal habits will influence how we smell.
Technically, her attack wasn't racist as many different races live in both places. And her comment just leads me to belie... (read in full...)
He said we couldn't go on, but I'm getting mixed messages
Q. I'm feeling so confused... I was in a relationship for the past two years. We had loads of problems, it was the kind of relationship people knew was not going to last, but we loved each other so much... However, our disagreements took their toll ...
A. 1 April 2014: What a chaotic existence. You must love all this drama and intrigue. You know, the company you keep says a lot about the kind of person you are.
OP, this is a no brainer.
Your ex boyfriend is an ex for a reason. He's not a good match. You ... (read in full...)
I think my vulnerable friend is being taken advantage of
Q. This woman was previously abused in a very long term marriage. (slapped around then forcibly Raped on her wedding night by her husband.) He abused her in many other ways as well. He made her feel guilty and took great advantage of her. She is n...
A. 1 April 2014: It says he's not a stand up guy and you're friend is in fantasy land, BUT that is her choice. All you can do is warn her, which you have. Leave the rest up to her, but don't go rushing to her side when it hits the fan. If she wants the freedo... (read in full...)
He broke things off since he was falling for me and now I might be pregnant! How do I handle this?
Q. Hey so I'm 19 and I recently lost my virginity to a 28 year old anyway we were sort of together with no labels for two and a half months. He decided to block and delete me out of his life as he was "falling" for me I know I was used worst thing is ...
A. 1 April 2014: Before saying anything to anyone, get tested and confirm whether or not you're pregnant. That seems a no brainer to me. If you're not pregnant, there is no reason to tell anyone. If you are, assume you're going it alone. If he didn't want to... (read in full...)
My girlfriend defecates during sex
Q. Dear Cupid, I have been with my current girlfriend for over 2 years and ever since the beginning she has had a problem during sex. It doesn't matter what position we try, each time during intercourse she poos. I've asked her if she is doing i...
A. 31 March 2014: She is not doing this on purpose, for God's sake. If it's not a health issue then it's likely a psychological one.
Urinating and defecating are, for the vast majority of peopl, very personal. The fact that something that is so personal to her i... (read in full...)
Will alcohol make you have sex with someone of the same gender?
Q. Will alcohol make you have sex with someone of the same gender? Will you completely forget or not realize it happened the next day? I feel guilty a tipsy friend came on to me hard. I had zero intentions of having sex with her but it happened. I felt ...
A. 31 March 2014: OP, I know you did not initiate anything with her and that it was she who came on strong. And I understand, NOW, that you did not know she'd been tipsy until after the fact so I get that you didn't do anything wrong really.
However, many a man ha... (read in full...)
Should I cancel my membership or will that make me look needy?
Q. Hi, i'm wondering what i should do. My online date and i have been hitting it off so well, over the past few mths, that now he has decided to leave the dating site where we met for good, so that he and i can pursue a possible future relation...
A. 31 March 2014: I agree with Cindy as well. Suspend or disable your account and after you've dated a while and you have something solid to build upon then I would cancel the membership. If you decide to cancel it then remember he cancelled his first so you won... (read in full...)
How much are you expected to spend on your girlfriend?
Q. Hi, I need an opinion and an advice, it's a bit long but I would really appreciate your help! First of all some details: I'm in a long relationship, we are about 6 years together (from age about 20), I love her but not sure how much she loves m...
A. 31 March 2014: I agree with the others. Your girlfriend's expectations are unrealistic and her accusations unfounded. If anything they apply to her, not you. Having a history together does not obligate you to a future together, especially when it's clearly one... (read in full...)
Should I push for him to decide how he really feels? Should I tell him my feelings alot(that I love him)? Should I push for us to meet in person?
Q. 2 months ago I broke up with my then boyfriend of 2 years. I broke up with him because I thought he'd be better off with a girlfriend that didn't live 200+ miles away from him, and a girlfriend that he didn't have to leave his family to be with. ...
A. 31 March 2014: First off, like the others have said breaking up with him for your sake, because you couldn't handle the distance would have been a perfectly valid reason and it would have been honest. Claiming to do it for him is sounds like a cop out and even if ... (read in full...)
Is this normal male behavior or is this just bad behavior?
Q. I am a newlywed. I have always known my hubbie is a friendly guy, especially to women but I think he has really crossed a line with his behavior this last week. He says his behavior is normal for men and I need to get over it. This is the second ...
A. 31 March 2014: It's not normal. It's just bad behaviour.
OP, think back to when you were first dating as a teenager. Did any of these boys open ogle or flirt with other girls? They didn't when I was dating. Yes, the odd one might but we all recognized this as ... (read in full...)
He treats me like his girlfriend but then says he doesn't want a serious relationship. I'm not sure where I stand!
Q. I have been seeing a guy for 2 months now. When we first started seeing each other I asked him if he was just in it for sex as I don't want a relationship like that, and he told me no. I have also been honest with him and told him that I have had ...
A. 31 March 2014: Walk away before you get hurt.
You've been seeing him for two months now. He knows you better today than he did then. So after all that time together, all the laughs, the great conversations, the kisses and cuddles and other things, he now deci... (read in full...)
Will alcohol make you have sex with someone of the same gender?
Q. Will alcohol make you have sex with someone of the same gender? Will you completely forget or not realize it happened the next day? I feel guilty a tipsy friend came on to me hard. I had zero intentions of having sex with her but it happened. I felt ...
A. 31 March 2014: Good thing you're a woman because feeling guilty is most likely the worst that will come of this. If you'd been a man you could have been charged with rape. How's that for a double standard? To answer your question, I'd say the fact that she ca... (read in full...)
I get no sense of acceptance from my church
Q. Hi, my question is regards to church, I have attended the same church since I was a child and I'm now in 20s but I have always felt like I was the outsider! Every little detail of me at some point has been commented on, my family who don't attend ...
A. 31 March 2014: Why do these people even know so much about you? Belonging to a religion does not mean you have to get up close and personal with the other congregants or the minister/preacher/reverend/pastor. Your use of the words 'church' and 'preacher' tell me ... (read in full...)
I try my best but he gets angry and irritated with me.
Q. Why is my boyfriend behaving this way? I'm really upset.? My boyfriend is really upsetting me. He's get angry and irritated with me and is making me really upset. I'm a good girl. I try my best with him. I go to gym regularly to keep fit lo...
A. 31 March 2014: Then stop trying your best. His turn now. Give him a chance (and the incentive) to try his best for you or risk losing you completely.
OR
Kick him to the curb. He's had every opportunity to be a decent man and he chose to blow it. Let him suff... (read in full...)
A true friend?
Q. Hi Any advice/support would be grateful. So since my friend got herself a boyfriend (they have been together over a year now) she just does not bother with me or any of her other friends. This is going to sound pathetic, but she used to...
A. 31 March 2014: Let go and leave it to her.
You don't have to cut her loose as a friend, but give her the space she apparently needs right now. This is fairly common and people tend to grow out of it eventually.
Friends aren't based on constant contact... (read in full...)
If he can't stop I wtll walk!
Q. Hi aunts and uncles. My Fiance and I have been together 5 years, we have two soon to be three beautiful children together (4, 2 soon to be 3 and our last due in june) We are getting married next month. My deliemma is that I found he posted a ...
A. 31 March 2014: I agree with your decision in that it buys you time but I would not be making any long term plans with the man. In fact I'd cancel the wedding and tell him you can revisit that AFTER he's had a year or so of having his act together.
In the mean... (read in full...)
Do you my find it appropriate for a woman to sit on your husband's lap?
Q. My husband and I were with friends last night. We were playing a party game and my husband drew a card which made him "Santa Claus." Two of our male friends sat on his lap as a joke and I also sat on my husband's lap. But then one of our friends ...
A. 31 March 2014: I can understand not liking it, but I wouldn't act on it and I wouldn't blame your husband for not acting on it.
The woman didn't plunk herself down in his lap after a night of flirting or anything. It was done in the context of a game in which ot... (read in full...)
How do I just let these go and enjoy my relationship?
Q. In November last year, I had a huge fight with my boyfriend where he then went out and got drunk.. Kissed another girl and took her number. The fight had started because I snooped on him and accused him for a whole year of still having feelings for ...
A. 30 March 2014: It will be difficult to let these feelings go if you have nothing else to grab on to. So learn to substitute the negative with something positive. Instead of worrying about what someone else might do, come up with a plan for what YOU can do if and ... (read in full...)
Should I continue this long-distance relationship knowing we can't be together for another two years at least?
Q. Am I stupid to be willing to wait for so long for us to be together? My fiance and I are in a long distance relationship. We always have been. We are recently engaged. I love him very much, but I struggle with the length of time it will be befor...
A. 29 March 2014: Your last paragraph sums up my view of this. You're making a big commitment to this man based on a huge 'maybe' in the distant future and in doing so you 're closing yourself off to more promising possibilities in the here and now.
If you mean leg... (read in full...)
She lied and said she wasn't a virgin. Now that I know she is one, I feel like I can't trust her if she would lie about something that big!
Q. Can I be annoyed at this girl I've just started to date for lying to me about something big like this. She says she did it to protect herself, but I feel insulted she judged me to be like those guys... We got to talking and I asked her how ma...
A. 29 March 2014: Wow. I could go through our archives and find scores of men who would love to have your problem.
OP, you can feel whatever you want to feel, but in my opinion you have no valid cause to condemn her.
This woman hardly knows you and you're a... (read in full...)
I'm annoyed at my B/f and his family's attitude especially when they know about our financial situation. Given this scenario, should I just not go for his mom's birthday dinner?
Q. I was invited by my boyfriend to join in with his family on Mother's Day as its also his Mum's birthday same date. I've known my boyfriend for 18 mths he is 39. I have met his Mum maybe three or four times and she seems nice so I agreed. However ...
A. 28 March 2014: I think CindyCares' advice is good. Don't visit him one weekend and use the money that you would have paid on that to cover the Birthday meal.
OP, from what I've read there isn't anything wrong with his family's attitude. They haven't done any... (read in full...)
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