I'm annoyed at my B/f and his family's attitude especially when they know about our financial situation. Given this scenario, should I just not go for his mom's birthday dinner?
Q. I was invited by my boyfriend to join in with his family on Mother's Day as its also his Mum's birthday same date. I've known my boyfriend for 18 mths he is 39. I have met his Mum maybe three or four times and she seems nice so I agreed. However ...
A. 28 March 2014: I think CindyCares' advice is good. Don't visit him one weekend and use the money that you would have paid on that to cover the Birthday meal.
OP, from what I've read there isn't anything wrong with his family's attitude. They haven't done any... (read in full...)
His colourful past adds to my anxiety about my body!
Q. I'm a very insecure woman. Throughout my dating life, I've had nothing but rejection and hurt. As a teenager, I was constantly rejected in favor of prettier girls. I've always felt ugly. Then I had a long relationship with a guy for whom I made MANY ...
A. 27 March 2014: What exactly do you mean by 'colourful'?
Does you mean he's cheated on others or that he's far more sexually experienced and/or worldly in general than you are?
... (read in full...)
He disappeared from my life and now he is back, should I hear him out?
Q. Hi everyone, I had posted a question a while back (My boyfriend has disappeared and I'm very worried.) After a about almost two months now I have moved forward but was still wondering what had happened I heard from him. I was looking at my em...
A. 27 March 2014: Nope. I don't think you should talk to him and hear him out. In fact I think you shouldn't have even reached out to him after all this time. Assuming what he says is true, that he did have a car accident, did break some bones and that your phone ... (read in full...)
Can I never trust a guy after this?
Q. Please help me. In January I met a guy in Facebook and we both started chatting. After few days of chatting we both exchanged our contact number and he started calling me. After few weeks we decided to meet at one of his friends home. We both wer...
A. 27 March 2014: OP, as bad as you may feel right now, you should breath a sigh of relief because it could easily have been a whole lot worse. Your first mistake was in agreeing to meet the man at his friend's house. Not only was that cheap, it was also dangero... (read in full...)
Is my friend looking for a certain answer about our mutual friend?
Q. my friend has been making weird references about me and our mutual friend, and I'm a little confused by his behavior. yesterday he suddenly brought this up: him: You still like ____ huh me: ____? what about _____? him: You still like him? ...
A. 24 March 2014: You're very welcome. Being too timid to approach you does not mean he's a bad guy. Just that he's too afraid to risk rejection, but why should you take all the risks? If he won't venture, he won't gain and the world will pass him by, just lik... (read in full...)
What are the pros and cons of a long engagement?
Q. What are the pros and cons of a long engagement? I have a feeling he will propose in a few months but I am not sure what my feelings are about it. I mean I love him, and I want to marry him. But right now, we're both earning very little a...
A. 24 March 2014: The pros and cons of a prolonged engagement are they give both parties more time to back out. Often times, one or both become complacent and decide they 'don't need a piece of paper' when they're already living together and have children. What they ... (read in full...)
How do I extricate myself from this toxic relationship?
Q. I really need some advice on how to emotionally detach myself from my boyfriend (ex?). We've been together 4 years and things have gotten so horrible. He's not in love with me anymore therefore he treats me like shit. He doesn't care what he say...
A. 24 March 2014: Also look up 'Random Reinforcement'
... (read in full...)
How do I extricate myself from this toxic relationship?
Q. I really need some advice on how to emotionally detach myself from my boyfriend (ex?). We've been together 4 years and things have gotten so horrible. He's not in love with me anymore therefore he treats me like shit. He doesn't care what he say...
A. 24 March 2014: The first step is to imagine a life after him and focus not on what you think you'll lose but on what you can gain.
Where the mind goes, the body follows so get your mind accustomed to thinking outside the box you're in. You're not obliged ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend told me I'm no longer included in our group vacation
Q. So I am with my boyfriend for over a year , and its your typical relationships with petty fights about jealousy and everything, but we do have a good relationship. Over the last few weeks, he has changed in some ways, like always saying before he...
A. 24 March 2014: I'm not sure that 'annoyed' would be the word I'd use, but yes, you do have a right. However it seems kind of pointless in the face of the big picture here.
I think you're in denial. Typical relationships do not consist of frequent petty fights a... (read in full...)
Is this okay to keep going to lunch with this guy?
Q. I need advice and opinions on how this situation looks from the outside looking in. The last job I had there was a guy (the boss of my boss). One day he asked me to go to lunch. While out he asked what my story was and if I was married. He is ...
A. 24 March 2014: Honeypie is spot on.
In theory men and women can be friends with no sexual tension, but in reality many of these so called friendships are based on sexual attraction and when that attraction doesn't pan out the friendship goes with it.
I don't... (read in full...)
Our friends found out my b/f was a virgin till very recently and now is angry/embarrassed that they know
Q. My boyfriend of four months recently told me he was still a virgin at 26, (he told me at Christmastime) I was shocked, but I told him it didn't matter because it wasn't that uncommon. We talked about it and he told me the reason why he has never ...
A. 24 March 2014: You've already pleaded your case and said what you needed to say so all you can do at this point is let time do the rest.
Your boyfriend has every right to be angry and to question his trust in you. So give him the time and space to do that and... (read in full...)
If he was really that into me would he be secretly messaging another girl?
Q. Hi everyone, I've been with my boyfriend for four years and I've never had a reason to not trust him. Recently things have been rough but we seem to of worked through it together and everything for the last month has been great. However we w...
A. 24 March 2014: The simple answer to your question is 'no'.
I agree with the others in that this is the beginning of the end and there isn't much you can do about it but accept it and bow out gracefully. Anything more is just unhealthy and frankly, I wouldn't... (read in full...)
Is my friend looking for a certain answer about our mutual friend?
Q. my friend has been making weird references about me and our mutual friend, and I'm a little confused by his behavior. yesterday he suddenly brought this up: him: You still like ____ huh me: ____? what about _____? him: You still like him? ...
A. 23 March 2014: Your follow up changes nothing.
Either the guy does fancy you but is too timid to approach (his loss) or he isn't interested and is trying to distance himself from you to stop people's wagging tongues.
I still wouldn't divulge romantic... (read in full...)
He was rude and dismissive until I resigned ...
Q. I'm feeling a little upset and annoyed over something so your advice is appreciated. My mother in law has been widowed for the past 6 years and has always been very independent. Unfortunately over the past year her health has deteriorated so ...
A. 23 March 2014: Accept the offer and keep your job. Leaving would be strategically foolish. You know the job, you've established yourself AND you have improved your own bargaining position. Your boss now knows that when push comes to shove, you might walk. The ... (read in full...)
Strip Clubs and the Committed Man....how often it TOO often??
Q. Should my boyfriend/husband be going to the strip club?It seems to be a common question women have. But my question is about frequency, is it really acceptable for a man in a committed relationship to go to the strip club not every now and then ...
A. 22 March 2014: Please do yourself a big favour and do not relocate. This guy just isn't worth the trouble and sacrifice.
How often is too often depends upon the people involved. Personally I think it's a bit over the top, and clearly it's too much for you. You... (read in full...)
Does anyone know the meaning behind this song?
Q. Help song meaning??? 3 days grace sign of the times?? My boyfriend is listening to a few songs falls asleep to them. So if i know the meaning i can help cause i think he is sad if i done something wrong i can fix it. So that song and 3 days grace ...
A. 21 March 2014: Help with what? Has he given you any other reason to believe he's sad or are you just making assumptions based on songs he's been listening to?
. ... (read in full...)
This guy is a scum. Do I tell his gf?
Q. My ex dumped me about a year ago. We had been together for 4 years, including 2 years LDR. We planned to get married, but he broke up with me 2 months before we could finally see each other. He thought I was too clingy. He cheated on me twice before ...
A. 21 March 2014: When you wrote to us on February 18th you said you were going to work abroad and focus on your goals. How is that coming along?
You were given very good advice yet you don't seem to have followed any of it. You've still got your ex's contact ... (read in full...)
I want the money that my Dad saved for me while I was ill
Q. I have been on abilify for four years and have been slowly getting smaller doses. And I want to be off it cause of increased urinating, tremors muscle twitching. I was on Geodon for a while. I am really hoping to get off of it next week cause I got ...
A. 21 March 2014: To be honest I think your parents have every right to be concerned.
Not long ago you had difficulty trying to set up some kind of account and you were very angry with your fiancé for not 'helping [you] when [you] can't think on [your] own.' Do... (read in full...)
He keeps texting me wanting to meet up but he hurt me bad!
Q. I fancied this guy for about 2 years, we flirted on and off for ages and made out a couple times. He then out of the blue kissed this other girl and they dated for about a month. They broke up quite quickly. Ever since he has been constantly ...
A. 21 March 2014: Let him stew a while longer. I wouldn't put much faith in him for a while. Hopefully he'll grow out of this, but for now it's not worth the risk.
You're not obliged to give people second chances. They should make better use of the first chances.... (read in full...)
Is my friend looking for a certain answer about our mutual friend?
Q. my friend has been making weird references about me and our mutual friend, and I'm a little confused by his behavior. yesterday he suddenly brought this up: him: You still like ____ huh me: ____? what about _____? him: You still like him? ...
A. 21 March 2014: It certainly seems like a fishing expedition. I would decline to answer any more questions and simply respond with something like 'That is something X and I should discuss between ourselves.'
If this mutual friend fancies you he really should a... (read in full...)
I realize what he did makes him sound bad but he's a nice guy, do you think he likes me?
Q. I have liked this boy in my year for about 3 tears now and I really like him and sometimes he gives me signs that he likes me back but then he also flirts with other girls, he looks at me a lot and smiles at me a lot and we have loads in common ...
A. 20 March 2014: I wouldn't do or say anything to him. Not without good reason to believe he fancies you and no one else. That means no more 'looking at' and flirting with others. Otherwise you make yourself look desperate and leave yourself open to exploitation.
... (read in full...)
Heard rumours about this married guy I like. Should I tell him about the rumours, without sounding jealous, nor like a gossip?
Q. I have a good friend in the office. In fact i've a crush on him but will never act on this feeling because he's married. Don't want to get hurt as going out with a married man, it's the worst thing of all to do. Guess he also feels attracted to...
A. 20 March 2014: Honeypie's answer is spot on. Leave him to clean his own mess.
I think you need to be honest with yourself here. It isn't for his benefit you want to warn him but for yours. I'd wager your true agenda is to verify the rumours, scare him away fro... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is tired of my friend and her lying cheating boyfriend
Q. I don't really know who to ask about this so I thought id give this a go. I've got a close friend who has been seeing my boyfriends friend for about a year on and off. He has cheated on her and messed her around numerous times and he was expect...
A. 20 March 2014: I don't blame your boyfriend one bit.
'Ignore it' is precisely what he's doing but it's kind of difficult when you keep bringing it to his attention. He's already had a word with the man and no longer associates with him. What good would another ... (read in full...)
Am I really that bad a boss?
Q. Dear aunts and uncles. This is a work related problem and I could really do with some advice. I work in lovely public relations company and head up the consumer team of about 4. Since summer it has just been me and one other up until month ...
A. 18 March 2014: I can understand being taken aback at discovering you're not as popular with all of your staff as you thought, but I think you've acted rashly yourself and mishandled a very minor situation.
Company email is company property but so are the desk... (read in full...)
She broke up with me and I'm scared to let her into my heart again
Q. Me and my girlfreind broke up 2 weeks ago. She ended it and it was a massive shock. She said her feelings weren't as strong and didn't love me. I loved this girl sooo much and i ask her to give us some space and see. I call her before (yes i kn...
A. 18 March 2014: I have to agree with the others in recommending you NOT go.
She broke up with you and told you she didn't love you. I can't imagine her feelings have changed all that much in the short time since. There is really no point in hearing the same pai... (read in full...)
My ex won't let me move on
Q. Ok so... I had been with my ex boyfriend for 2 years. We had a very toxic relationship and looking back i really wish i had got out sooner. We would constantly argue, he was very spiteful towards me, he was addicted to porn lied to me on a numbe...
A. 17 March 2014: Keep doing what you're doing and eventually he will move on. If he shows up at your work again do not approach him. If he doesn't order a drink let the manager eject him. You don't need to have any contact with him.
Otherwise I think you're h... (read in full...)
Is he asking because he wants to scrounge or because he really wants to live with me?
Q. Why is my boyfriend pressuring me to live with him?. My boyfriend is going to be evicted from his house in a couple of months, if he hasn't found another place by then. he said either he will go and live with one of his friends, before the eviction ...
A. 17 March 2014: Just curious and this really won't change my answer either way, but has your boyfriend threatened to leave his friends if they don't take him in?
... (read in full...)
Is he asking because he wants to scrounge or because he really wants to live with me?
Q. Why is my boyfriend pressuring me to live with him?. My boyfriend is going to be evicted from his house in a couple of months, if he hasn't found another place by then. he said either he will go and live with one of his friends, before the eviction ...
A. 17 March 2014: As soon as I read the second sentence of this post I had this guy summed up, as, I'm sure, did everyone else here.
Scrounging is precisely the reason he wants to live with you. He needs a place to stay and he knows that his guy friends can't be... (read in full...)
We have a child together but he doesn't make much effort with her
Q. I have a daughter with my boyfriend (he is the only boyfriend I've ever had), and he goes 3 weeks to month with out seeing us sometimes. We see him the most once a week if that and he lives 15 minutes from us, but he says he doesn't like to drive. ...
A. 17 March 2014: I wouldn't consider him a boyfriend either. Any guy who can go weeks to a month without seeing you is not a boyfriend nor, apparently, is he any kind of father.
Cut him loose and don't contact him again (let your attorney do that when you go after... (read in full...)
We normally talk every day but last night he didn't answer my phone call!
Q. Hello im in need of help! I just want to make sure im not over reacting. Yesterday me and my boyfriend talked and texted back and forth for most of the day, until about six o clock. We normally talk ever day but last night around 830 I called but he ...
A. 16 March 2014: Extremely needy and clingy. Yes, you are over reacting.
No, I would not mention a word to him. You already spoke to him and exchanged text messages back and forth for most of the day, by your own reckoning. People do need some personal space an... (read in full...)
Should I cut my losses now? My new Bf can't stop oggling women and commenting on them.
Q. I am 38 years old and look after myself and have good self esteem. I have been dating a man the same age for a month. I am finding that whenever we are out he quickly notices an attractive woman and either turns his head when we walk past or ...
A. 16 March 2014: Cut your losses now.
Everyone who can see is a 'visual'. We all notice anyone or anything that is out of the ordinary in a good or bad way. There is a difference between noticing and making yourself noticeable for noticing.
Your boyfrien... (read in full...)
My boyfriends mom could care less about meeting me?
Q. So in June it will be 1 year of dating each other and I haven't met his mom nor has he met my parents. Now his mom lives 2 hours away and mine live 30 minutes. But the thing is he'll see him mom usually once a month. She could really care less about ...
A. 15 March 2014: If she only met his previous girlfriends when they happened to accompany him on a visit then she doesn't dislike you in particular. She's just not one of those moms who creates a lot of fanfare about her children dating. Maybe when she knows you two ... (read in full...)
Need a place to turn in a marriage where I feel like I have no choice
Q. My stepdaughter has always been a source of problems, particularly when it comes to her relationship with her mother: whatever stepdaughter wants, stepdaughter gets. Over the near 17 years of my marriage I've been mostly able to afford these ext...
A. 14 March 2014: You've already spoken to your wife about your concerns so I suggest that before you give her any ultimatums you speak to an attorney and get your ducks in a row first.
Your wife might be co-operative, but based on past behaviour I wouldn't... (read in full...)
I see his actions as being disrespectful of our time spent together. He sees my reaction as emotionally unstable.
Q. Guy I've been seeing for over a month won't stop texting when I'm around him! Was I out of line by the way I handled this? Is there a better way I should have handled it? I was over at his house. Literally from the time I got there until righ...
A. 14 March 2014: Not that I wish for you to be treated badly, but I'm sort of glad he acted the way he did because, as you say, he only made it easier for you to dump him. If he'd given you a guilt trip and promised to be better you might have been tempted to take ... (read in full...)
Feeling horribly guilty after breaking up with my boyfriend.
Q. I broke up with my boyfriend of two years, three weeks ago. I genuinely loved him and felt that we had a solid connection. Yet, throughout the course of our relationship, I had to pay for our $1800/month rent, the bills, and the majority of our ...
A. 14 March 2014: It's normal to feel some discomfort when taking a bold new step. It might help you to see this in a different light.
What you had with him was not a solid connection, but a tacit understanding.
You may have loved your boyfriend but you certainl... (read in full...)
Why would he delete my number after all this?
Q. Hey, so I've been dating this guy for a month we aren't boyfriend and girlfriend but he likes to say we are and act like it. Anyway we cut things off a while ago and decided to just be 'friends' his choice not mine (He's muslim and said we can't be...
A. 13 March 2014: I assume 'Muslim' also means he's from the middle east or nearabouts.
OP, it's important to remember that where he comes from women do not dress and behave the way they do in the west. I'm not referring to the very loud and vulgar minority... (read in full...)
I see his actions as being disrespectful of our time spent together. He sees my reaction as emotionally unstable.
Q. Guy I've been seeing for over a month won't stop texting when I'm around him! Was I out of line by the way I handled this? Is there a better way I should have handled it? I was over at his house. Literally from the time I got there until righ...
A. 13 March 2014: OP, cut yourself some slack here. These 'doozies' put their best foot forward when you first met which is why you gave them the time of day. You cut them loose fairly quickly after learning they were not ideal.
We get post after post after po... (read in full...)
Am I being too stubborn and bitchy about the whole thing or is my anger understandable?
Q. Hello! I come from a very traditional Asian family. I have been told to respect those older than me and those with higher authority (example, my mom is the oldest in her family so all my cousins address me as big sister or so, even if they are...
A. 13 March 2014: I understand your concern about the character of your brother's fiancé and you've already expressed that so there isn't much more you can (or should) do. And your concern for your brother should not escalate to the point that you and he are ... (read in full...)
I'm struggling with what he calls his dry sense of humour
Q. I love my boyfriend who is 40 of 7 months but don't like aspects of his personality. He can be very sarcastic and make derogatory comments about my weight. I'm a size 12 Uk and run and ramble, bike on the Downs etc. He makes comments about women ...
A. 13 March 2014: If it were humour you'd both be laughing.
Clearly he has some issues with women, but he's also a coward. He makes a barbed comment but when called up on it he hides behind 'I was just joking'.
Honestly, life is hard enough without taxing y... (read in full...)
He wants me to sell my home and buy a bigger house but his drinking concerns me
Q. Hello there - Am after some advice. I am 40 years old and am living with my partner and our 6 month old baby. To cut things short my partner has always struggled with alcohol but is a loving partner and a wonderful Dad and never drinks at ...
A. 13 March 2014: I agree. You're much better off without him. It's not just that an habitual drinker is not reliable, it's that they create a whole new set of things to worry about. They're more a liability than an asset.... (read in full...)
Is my boyfriend looking for someone else?
Q. I've been with my boyfriend a little over a year and I've noticed within the last few months he seems to be less interested in spending time with me. We live together but don't see each other that much because of work. The only thing we really do ...
A. 13 March 2014: I second Honeypie's answer. He does seem to be losing interest. Definitely start extricating yourself from him. Get your ducks in a row and part ways. ... (read in full...)
He wants me to sell my home and buy a bigger house but his drinking concerns me
Q. Hello there - Am after some advice. I am 40 years old and am living with my partner and our 6 month old baby. To cut things short my partner has always struggled with alcohol but is a loving partner and a wonderful Dad and never drinks at ...
A. 11 March 2014: Stay put.
Right now you're living within your means, you don't need him to make ends meet and you have security. Regardless of how 'nice' he is he is not reliable. If he were, he wouldn't need you.
Stick to your guns on this and don't budge ... (read in full...)
I see his actions as being disrespectful of our time spent together. He sees my reaction as emotionally unstable.
Q. Guy I've been seeing for over a month won't stop texting when I'm around him! Was I out of line by the way I handled this? Is there a better way I should have handled it? I was over at his house. Literally from the time I got there until righ...
A. 9 March 2014: 'After talking with friends and exes, I learned that the "oversensitivity" goes away once you find the right guy that respects you.' WRONG. Oversensitivity 'goes away' when you stop relying on others to do or be what you want and start relying on... (read in full...)
I see his actions as being disrespectful of our time spent together. He sees my reaction as emotionally unstable.
Q. Guy I've been seeing for over a month won't stop texting when I'm around him! Was I out of line by the way I handled this? Is there a better way I should have handled it? I was over at his house. Literally from the time I got there until righ...
A. 6 March 2014: I think YouWish summed it up perfectly yet again. You're both too old for this sort of thing. The constant texting, doing it when he's got company, keeping a friend who sends him nude pictures and expecting you to meet her.
Seriously, wash you... (read in full...)
| *iar's friends
These are mutual friends, so *iar has
added them and they have added *iar!
|
