Our relationship ended but why couldn't we have stayed friends?
Q. Ok here am going straight to the point. i have been in a relationship for about 8years although the last 5 part of has been a long distanced. we haven't seen each other in almost 6years. after much ups and downs i decided to ent the relationship as ...
A. 8 January 2012: Some people can not deal with just being friends, it never works that way. Maybe the break up really upset her and she just couldn't face seeing you. Friendships with ex's can be really difficult when there are still feelings involved. However I do ... (read in full...)
Will she realize how much she hurt me and contact me?
Q. Ok a few weeks ago i was telling everyone and asking for help in the area of love . I find myself still going around in circles and dating but nothing in my heart is ringing my bell as they would say . I met a gal december of 2010 and have also had ...
A. 8 January 2012: If I am honest with you I doubt she will ever contact you again. You told her husband about her cheating on him which really was not your place to do. I feel bad for you really I do, but she knew you where gay therefore she probably never took you ... (read in full...)
All I know is heartbreak...should I tell her how I feel about her?
Q. Heyy since I turned 15 all I've known is heartbreak, I'm 18 now and I have a friend who is currently helping me out a rather deep thing (I may be suffering depression) sounds rather silly for my age but it's true. She is to my mind the perfect woman ...
A. 8 January 2012: Well first off I am sorry for all the heart break that you have had to put up with, but I guess it is all part of growing up and learning how to deal with these things. If you feel like you are suffering with depression which is actually a very ... (read in full...)
Girlfriend has a problem with being in contact. Will this be a problem down the road?
Q. Hey all, I am back. SO me and my girlfriend have been going out for 5 months and I love very much and she says she loves me and a believe it. However I cant figure something out. She seems to have a contact issue. I love giving massages and she ...
A. 8 January 2012: She has issues with being intimate with someone. I am unsure as to why she feels like this, but close contact seems to make her feel uneasy. It might not always be like this but for now yes I can see why you would be worried about it. Maybe growing ... (read in full...)
A really nice guy - does he want something more??
Q. Hi, I have a friend who is just super-nice to me and that is what is bothering me. He is just so nice. He's a friend, and we've been friends for about 2 years now and we met through mutual friends. A few months ago, he relocated near my area, ...
A. 8 January 2012: Don't be so negative, yes there are a lot of bad guys out there, but there are also good ones, and it sounds like you have found a proper gentleman. So don't doubt the man, he was obviously raised very well and he is a decent man so be thankful for ... (read in full...)
How do I impress him? Why did he stop flirting with me? And what do boys look for in a girl?
Q. i am 15 and I like this boy. he is smart intelligent and cute. he isnt a boy people would put me with but there is something about him. However, he has had this girl he likes in my friendship group for a few years and i think he still does. He give...
A. 8 January 2012: I understand that you really like him, but there really is nothing you can do to change how he thinks or feels about you. I am not sure why he stopped flirting with you, maybe he just felt that he was not getting any where so he decided to move on ... (read in full...)
I don't know if this good looking guy likes me as a friend or more?
Q. Im in love with a good looking guy. We have been friends for about 6 months now. i know he likes me because he sends me gifts and ask me what i want(he does everything to please me) but i don't know if he wants me just as friends or more than ...
A. 8 January 2012: Bite the bullet and tell him how you feel about him. Tell him you really like him as more than a friend and see how he responds it is the only way to clear this up. Good luck.... (read in full...)
Does he love me?
Q. A guy and i have been friends for sometime now. Lately, he told me he loves... i'd love him but i dont know if he means it. Ive seen him with all kinds of girls. Some even touching his hair. Because of this i told him we should remain as friends. He ...
A. 7 January 2012: If he says he loves you then you should believe him. Ok so yes maybe he is close to other girls as well, but that is allowed he is single. You should not let this hold you back. It is ok for him to have friends who are girls. If you like him then ... (read in full...)
I want to finish breaking up with him but it is so difficult!
Q. I find my boyfriend quite controlling and am trying to break up with him. Last weekend I went out with a girl friend and he was texting all night saying he missed me and then at 2:30 he phoned me when I was asleep, saying I should be with him and ...
A. 7 January 2012: If he was controlling and possessive and afraid to say that he is not going to let you go easily. Go and collect your stuff when you know he wont be at home then post his keys back through the letterbox. Block him on face book so he cannot contact ... (read in full...)
She's with another guy now but I want her back!
Q. Hey guys, please help me! I recently broke up with my gf of 5 years due to my gf was in love with some one else. The problem is she is now with this fella and has been for a while, yet she stopd at my house and we ended up makin love. (With out ...
A. 7 January 2012: It sounds to me like she is in a very messed up place and just does not know who or what she wants at the moment. Having sex unprotected was a very silly thing to do on both your part, you should get yourself checked for STI's especially since you ... (read in full...)
Can someone love you if you don't love yourself?
Q. hey i was wonderweing, can someone love you if you dont love yourself? or how can you love yourself?...
A. 7 January 2012: Yes someone can love you for just being you, sometimes people cant help who they fall in love with, however it is always good to love yourself because others find this attractive and it attracts more attention from potential partners. Whatever it is ... (read in full...)
Should I have kicked him to the curb or not?
Q. Dear cupid, I just broke up with my boyfriend of 3 years because we have major trust issues! We have both done wrongs to eachother but it became to much to handle for me. Im tired of breaking up over and over because of the same trust issue! ...
A. 7 January 2012: It sounds to me like you have made the right choice. You need trust in a relationship for it to work or else you will both just be going around in circles and never moving forward. yes it is a hard decision and yes it is going to hurt and there will ... (read in full...)
Unsatisfied with immature boyfriend
Q. Hello everyone. I have a question regarding my boyfriend. We're both 28 years old, I've known him for just over ten years, we dated for a bit but until the last year had been just friends. We had a one night fling 18 months ago... and now we have a ...
A. 7 January 2012: You need to talk to him about this, I have the feeling that this is what he thinks you want from him. You need to tell him it is not, explain to him that you know he an talk to woman right and tell him that is what you want. It is the only way to ... (read in full...)
What exactly does 'taking it to the next level' mean?
Q. What does it mean to you "take it to the next level" regarding relationships? I hear this all the time and I'm starting to doubt what this means. Please share your definitions. I know what it means to feel closer or more distant and even have con...
A. 7 January 2012: You need to first explain what level your relationship is at, at the moment so I can give you a clear view of what the next level means, as it has all different levels at all different stages of relationships. ... (read in full...)
Some questions about 'doggie style'
Q. Hello, I'm 20 and had some questions about doggy style. My boyfriend and I have been together for two years. I have never really wanted to pursue this position because there is not really any eye contact and feels more like a "get her done" ...
A. 7 January 2012: On my experience I love doggy style, it has always been one of my favorites and i have never gotten air while doing it. It can touch some great areas so therefore you should give it a try. New things are always good to try so why not? Do it and see ... (read in full...)
Is another relationship in our future?
Q. Hello, I'll keep this as straight forward as possible. My ex (25) and I (20) broke up in August. It was mutually decided. A few months later he began dating someone for a short time, maybe 2 months, while I remained single. We didn't talk duri...
A. 7 January 2012: If you want this guy back then you need to tell him how you are feeling. All this magic behaviour that is happening around you might feel amazing to you, but not to him. Communication is the hey so you need to talk to him and tell him how you feel. ... (read in full...)
Is she looking for 'fun' with me? If I allowed this to happen, would I be a bad person?
Q. Hello everyone. I am a reader and occasional writer of dearcupid and I just love this blog. I am here with an issue today. I apologize in advance for the length of it. I came to USA in Feb 2011. When I came here, my ex of 4 years from my home cou...
A. 7 January 2012: I can tell that you are a decent guy. This girl sounds to me like she has no self esteem and she will just grab a chance off being with a guy, do not let that be you, because you will feel bad in the long run. If you do not see this girl as a ... (read in full...)
Me and my boyfriend just can't seem to have sex!
Q. i have tried to have sex twice with my boyfriend but every time, it really hurts and he makes me bleed. the first time we tried it, it didn't get very far in and i started bleeding. the second time which was two days ago he put it all the way in but ...
A. 7 January 2012: It is completely normal for a virgin to bleed believe me. He got inside you which is the worst part. Just try and ignore the blood next time. Make sure you both have plenty of foreplay so you are turned on and then use plenty of lube...yes the first ... (read in full...)
Is he too intelligent for me? Should we break up?
Q. ok..this is nothing about sex or relationship problem its kinda a relationship problem and i hope someone can help me with this... im from tunisia and i live in holland.. my boyfriend is also from the same country but lives in france.. i kno...
A. 7 January 2012: It is just an area in life that you are not educated in, that does not mean that he is smarter or better than you. Tell him how this makes you feel. Explain to him that it makes you feel like you are dumb when he does this. If he cares about you ... (read in full...)
Two women in my life...but neither make me completely happy!
Q. i'm in a horrible bind and i need some advice, please! i have been seeing this girl for a couple of months now, but not officially. we started off extremely slowly and have progressed to the point where she stays a handful of nights out of th...
A. 7 January 2012: Ok so this first girl she has everything but she does not do it for you sexually and we would be kidding ourselves if we said that it did not matter, because of course it does. But with this other girl, all it is based on is pure sex and nothing ... (read in full...)
I love him so much but my heart is so broken.
Q. Last night my boyfriend was acting unusual so I asked him lets discuss what was going on . So we begin to talk and he tes me he doesnt wanna be in a relationship because he cant deal with it and it is impossible for him to just talk to one girl.So I ...
A. 7 January 2012: No I do not think you should allow him back in to your life. He has made it clear he still has feelings for his ex, but on top of that he is at the stage where he wants to play the field a bit and be a typical boy. He does not want to be tied down ... (read in full...)
Am I just someone he uses to fill his time?
Q. Hey Agony Aunts thanks in advance for reading my question and any help you can give. So here goes, I really like this guy we text and phone each other all the time from morning to night, all days including weekends we have spent some time alone ...
A. 7 January 2012: I think you are expecting way to much here, you do not hear from him for a few hours because he is with friends and you put this down to him not being interested. This is not normal behaviour, it is only early days for you, so he should be able to ... (read in full...)
Please help me endure my first breakup at 37 years old!
Q. Just ended my 1st relationship ever. We started when I was 35. He was 22. We fit eachother perfectly as we were both awkward lonely people. We understood each so well about so much. However, I ran hot, he ran cold. I blew some things out of ...
A. 7 January 2012: I think you were relying to much on him in this relationship, which is not good. It was your first experience which I understand but you need to find an inbetween no guy is ever going to like a girl who is to much in to them and he just didn't give ... (read in full...)
I know my ex was wrong for me but why do I keep thinking of him?
Q. i was dating a guy for 3 yrs,we met in junior college and dated for 3 yrs..during the 2nd yr of our relationship i moved outta town and he started getting super possessive.he didnt like me talking to other guys n stuff,hed get paranoid if he called ...
A. 7 January 2012: You got over him and you moved on and buried all of the old feelings, when you finally did see him again, some of these old feelings came back to you, and then you decided that you would strike up a friendship with him, which was the first wrong ... (read in full...)
Does my brother's friend like me? What did he mean?
Q. Okayy. So my brother's friend is older than me. And I think he kinda like's me. He asked me if I had feelings for me and I said well you think?? Do you have feelings for me?? And he was like,"yeah, Well I care about you". What does this mean?? ...
A. 7 January 2012: Well it sounds like he is trying to tell you he likes you without making a fool of himself. Do you like him? Do you think that a relationship between the two of you could work or is he a lot older than you. You need to figure out how you feel about ... (read in full...)
How to reassure my Boyfriend that I'll b alright at my friend's party? It's tonight! HELP!
Q. What can I say/do to reassure my boyfriend that I'll b fine at my friend's birthday party just because there will b alcohol? Does he not trust me even though he says he does? Now he has me all worked up that I might do somethin stupid. I even asled ...
A. 7 January 2012: Just because you are in a relationship with him does not mean that you cannot go out and enjoy yourself with your friends. It sounds to me like he simply does not trust you, or else he is worried that you will get really drunk and do something silly ... (read in full...)
How do I know whether to trust and believe him? Surely it is not just sex between us?
Q. Okay, so I have been in an emotionally, financially and physically abusive marriage with a man addicted to drugs. I am in college and should be graduating with my degree in just a few months. My intent has been to file for divorce once I am work...
A. 7 January 2012: He is still married and so are you, no matter how bad both your partners are, what you are both doing is wrong. I wouldn't pin to much hope on this being a happy ever after. At the end of the day you are the other woman and nothing more at the time ... (read in full...)
Guys only like me as a friend!
Q. I have had one real boyfriend and he had brain prblems and i was thinking is there something wrong with me? am i the friend type? am i ugly or is there something wrong with me? cause every guy i have like has liked me as a friend :/ ...
A. 7 January 2012: Just because he had brain problems does not mean that his feelings where not genuine for you. You are still quite young and you have plenty of time to meet guys and be in relationships, for now enjoy your youth and stop thinking that there is ... (read in full...)
He stopped contacting me. Could it be because of his girlfriend?
Q. hey i need your help i have liked this guy for a while and we were at our yr ten formal a couple of mouths ago and he said i looked beautiful and through the night he said i was a cuttie and stuff and we huged heaps and toke photos.... then almo...
A. 7 January 2012: It sounds to me that more than likely his girlfriend has found out and told him it makes her feel insecure. I guess he is in a relationship now and he was caught out talking to you and it has made her feel jealous so he has chosen to be with her and ... (read in full...)
How do I forget my ex? I don't want to hurt my boyfriend
Q. What does it take to forget someone who's impacted ur life. You hear a song and remember them. They live near ur work and u see them driving bye. But some part of u try's not to forget and even though u love two guys u know to stick with the one u ...
A. 7 January 2012: If you do not want to hurt your boyfriend, well then simple don't. It is ok to remember the old times and smile about the past and miss certain bits about it. But if you still love your ex after being in your current relationship for two years well ... (read in full...)
Our kiss lasted 10 minutes but I haven't heard from him since. Should I wait?
Q. Hi, I am 33yrs old female from South America...I met this guy..He is from Hong Kong (25 yrs). I never been dating or seeing an asian guy. We go out sometimes..we danced..we went to a dinner then he asked me if I want to be his partner in a dance cl...
A. 7 January 2012: It might just be a cross of wires here. I really cannot say, but there is no harm in contacting him to let him know that you are available if he is still looking for a dance partner. Don't mention the kiss or expect much from him, just take it slow ... (read in full...)
Partner left a week ago says if we get together it will just happen all over again...I want him back!
Q. Me and my partner have been together for 7 years and we have 2 young children together we are from diffarent places hes from england and i from scotland, we are both living in scotland with our kids, thing is for the past couple of months weve not ...
A. 6 January 2012: You said it yourself it has only been a week, the more you call and text him the further you are going to push him away. He needs some space right now to clear his head, all the arguing has got to him and he needs time to think now and you need to ... (read in full...)
I love her, how can I help her get over her ex?
Q. So i like [love] this girl who happens to be a best friend of mine. She knows it, and she is cool with it. But my problem is, she brokeup with her boyfriend one and a half years ago, and she still cant get over him. i always be by her side when eve...
A. 6 January 2012: I think that she is relying on you just a bit to much. A year and a half is a long time and she should be well over him by now but with you there to pick up all the pieces all of the time then it is not allowing her to move forward from her ex. It ... (read in full...)
He has two sides and I fear of the evil one! Do I ask him to leave?
Q. My story is very complicated but I really need advice on what to do. I am 26 years old im about to start Grad School. I was raised in a very Christian home which I am proud of because of the values my parents set. The issue is Im Bi-Sexual and ...
A. 6 January 2012: I totally understand where you are coming from, you are accepting this relationship and investing everything in to it because you feel that you do not deserve any better and you are scared that you will never get anybody else who you love so you ... (read in full...)
I want to be her friend, but I can feel this chemistry between us. What can I do?
Q. Hi peeps! Ok so I am slightly confused at the moment... I have become good friends with someone I work with I will call her X, so anyway we have done a few things together outside of work, we talk all the time on the phone. I have noticed recently...
A. 6 January 2012: Well to be honest I speak to my friends 24 hours a day and call them gorgeous as well, but I do not mean it in a sexual way. Sometimes that's where wires get crossed. She probably doesn't even realise how she is making you feel and if she does then ... (read in full...)
We were on a break but he withheld information. Do I have the right to be upset about it?
Q. My boyfriend is 12 years older than me, we were together for about a year and then on/off for another year, i.e. we didn't talk very often while I was away at university but would see each other, go to the movies etc whenever i was back home. ...
A. 6 January 2012: Yes you do have the right to be annoyed that he lied to you. But at the end of the day as you said you where both not together so what he done with his life back then really was none of your business. Off course him lying to you is going to put some ... (read in full...)
What are guys thoughts of shy girls?
Q. hey here is my question: what do guys feel of shy girls? cause i am really shy and i dont know how to act around guys :/ i could really use you help and advise...
A. 6 January 2012: Lots of people can be really shy when it comes to the opposite sex. The key is not to look at talking to guys as to scary. You just need to talk to them like you would talk to any one else. Be friendly with them and ask questions. Once you get to ... (read in full...)
Is he worth pursuing or is it just a terrible idea?
Q. Dear Cupid... So in November I met this guy and we started talking and hitting it off immediately. I thought he was so sweet (and still do) and we told each other everything. However... I was honest with him and told him that there was someon...
A. 6 January 2012: My guess is that he was badly hurt in the past and now he finds it hard to trust someone, so with you lying to him about Shane however small it was it just shows him that he cannot trust you either. He has self esteem issues and he does need to get ... (read in full...)
He has two sides and I fear of the evil one! Do I ask him to leave?
Q. My story is very complicated but I really need advice on what to do. I am 26 years old im about to start Grad School. I was raised in a very Christian home which I am proud of because of the values my parents set. The issue is Im Bi-Sexual and ...
A. 6 January 2012: You know and I know what you need to do here. You need to get him out of your house and move forward with your life, Will it be easy?? No probably not, but you can do it. He is very disrespectful to you the person who is supporting him and nobody ... (read in full...)
Were they dates?
Q. Just needing some clarification. I can't believe how hard it is to define a date. It's made especially hard because the boy I hung with had a girlfriend already. My definition of a date is an outing with romantic interest. Agree? Disagree? The...
A. 6 January 2012: He had made it clear to you back then that he liked you, my guess is that his relationship was in a bad place and he was just confused about what he wanted at the time. I would just try and forget about that period of your friendship now and just ... (read in full...)
I can't get over the crush I have on my teacher!
Q. I'm 17, and I know this is so stupid but I have the hugest crush on my teacher. I seriously get butterflies when I see him and we always greet each other. In class when I look at him, he'll look at me and give such a gorgeous half smile, and he'd ...
A. 6 January 2012: It is inappropriate for a teacher to be going around calling his or her students beautiful. I cant tell if he is flirting with you or not because I have not witnessed it. But if he has been then he is the one in the wrong here. You are still a ... (read in full...)
I want to be her friend, but I can feel this chemistry between us. What can I do?
Q. Hi peeps! Ok so I am slightly confused at the moment... I have become good friends with someone I work with I will call her X, so anyway we have done a few things together outside of work, we talk all the time on the phone. I have noticed recently...
A. 6 January 2012: It is hard to tell how she is feeling, but it sounds to me like she is close to you as a friend but that is it. Just because she touches you and stares and you does not mean there is romantic feelings involved. There are plenty of woman who are very ... (read in full...)
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