After 5 Years Why Hasn't He Proposed
Q. This is real simple. I've been with my boyfriend for over 5 years. I moved out of state to be with him and its been me and him since 2006. I have never given him a reason to not trust me. I've never lied to him. I've never cheated on him. I go to ...
A. 7 December 2011: Have you both ever even spoke about marriage? Maybe he is not ready to be married, maybe he does not believe in it. Who knows? I think you need to sit and talk to him and ask him where he sees the relationship going.
But I wonder why is it you w... (read in full...)
What do you do when you only have a day with this amazing guy?
Q. I met a guy on holiday and at first i was adamant that we were no more than friends, though he did earn some points when he kept wrapping his arm round my waist when we walked together. We were with loads of other people (our age, roughly) and he ...
A. 7 December 2011: You need to be realistic about this and see that it is not Romeo and Juliet. Yes you had an amazing time with him, but it was a holiday romance and nothing more. It is great you will get to see him again and spend the day with him, but you need to ... (read in full...)
I don't feel my husband has my best interests at heart, should I separate from him?
Q. Hi all, I am very unhappy with my current marriage. Let me just explain why...I really wonder why I have been married to my husband from the very beginning. The marriage isn't working from status, there has been arguments, fights and even throw a...
A. 7 December 2011: Whatever you do please do not bring a child in to this disaster of a marriage. I understand that you want a child but please you need to think about it rationally. Bringing a child in to this would make things twenty times worse. He does not treat ... (read in full...)
Conflicting Signals Have Me Confused
Q. Sorry for the length of this... I met a guy on an online dating site about a month ago. After chatting for a little bit, he disappeared. Then he wrote me an email saying that he wasn't up to chatting at the moment as a close co-worker had co...
A. 7 December 2011: It sounds to me like he is just keeping his options open at the minute. He was clear in saying to you that he is only a friend, this tells me that he is probably meeting lots of girls to see which one best fits him. I guess it is a hit or miss with ... (read in full...)
How to tell if a person is gay
Q. hi my friend is a lesbian and i am not sure whether i am but how do you tell if someone else is one?...
A. 6 December 2011: You can't just simply tell if someone is gay or not. Sometimes that person may not know themselves. At your age (13 - 15) it is quite common for people to wonder about the same sex and want to experiment or see who they really are. But unless ... (read in full...)
Aske me home for a drink - What are his intentions?
Q. If a guy asks you to go to his place for a drink, is he only after one thing ?. He doesn't live comepletely on his own. He has housemates, but he does have his own room. He did ask me when i was going to be out around town again at first, but i said ...
A. 6 December 2011: Well if you are not dating this other guy that you are interested in then you will be doing nothing wrong on keeping your options open. If you want to go to his for a drink then do so. It is hard to tell if there is only one thing on his mind. He ... (read in full...)
Feeling like I am settling, but he is truly fantastic
Q. I'm a survivor of domestic violence that went on for 3.5 years. I was 17 to 20 when it all happened and the guy I was with was nine months younger than me. Anyway, I never truly gave myself the chance to grow into my own and learn to be independent ...
A. 6 December 2011: I think what your problem is, is that you never gave yourself a chance to get over the abuse you endured for years. Staying with someone that long it does damage mentally, and when you did meet your current boyfriend, you where not in the right ... (read in full...)
He wants a baby but not marriage?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for nearly a year. (He's in his early 40's and I'm in my early 30's.) We recently got pregnant, but I had a miscarriage. Though this pregnancy was unexpected, we had discussed wanting to have kids together in ...
A. 6 December 2011: Everyone has different opinions on marriage. It is not a big deal any more for a couple to live out of wed lock and have families as it was years ago. Off course if it is important to you, well then it is a big deal.
I guess he has been there an... (read in full...)
Vulgar bulgur
Q. Okay I know this is a rather silly question, but the other night my gf cooked this dish that I hated. She is a tender woman and so I haven't told her yet. The next day she said she was quite pleased with the flavor. Any tips on gently telling h...
A. 6 December 2011: Just be honest with her, I completely understand that you don't want to hurt her feelings or make her feel like she is a terrible cook, but just say that it was not to your taste. Tell her she is a good cook but it is just a dish that you do not ... (read in full...)
14 and pregnant, mom doesn't know yet. What do I do?
Q. okay so i'm 14 and pregnant i don't know what to do. i really want to keep my baby because it is my baby. i turn 15 the same week i become 15 weeks pregnant..my boyfriend knows and he wants to keep the baby too..i don't know what we should do, i've ...
A. 6 December 2011: Okay I can completely understand why you are scared, off course you are, you are only 14. Your mother I believe said this to you, to scare you in to not falling pregnant, off course it never worked though. Therefore I guess you just need to be ... (read in full...)
Why is he talking to me again?
Q. I briefly dated this guy after finishing school. We fell really hard for each other and he told me he loved me very quickly. It was only a summer romance, as he had to move out of the state after a few weeks but told me he still wanted the ...
A. 6 December 2011: I guess he has finally realised that the way he behaved was completely out of order and he now feels bad. I always say when someone tells you they love you very early on then you should always be cautious because it means that they throw the word ... (read in full...)
Do I tell my crush that I like him?
Q. Theres this guy Ive known since first grade, and yesterday I ran into him and realized I like him. We have always flirted but it never went anywhere. He goes to a different school but we live on the same block. If he ever runs into me and Im on my ...
A. 6 December 2011: To be honest with you, it sounds to me like he likes you as well. He goes out of his way to talk to you and walk you to the store, he asks for a hug, that is all signs that he likes you as a person. I think you should ask him would he like to hang ... (read in full...)
14 and pregnant, mom doesn't know yet. What do I do?
Q. okay so i'm 14 and pregnant i don't know what to do. i really want to keep my baby because it is my baby. i turn 15 the same week i become 15 weeks pregnant..my boyfriend knows and he wants to keep the baby too..i don't know what we should do, i've ...
A. 6 December 2011: Honey you need to tell your mother. Being pregnant is a huge deal, and a very big thing to have to deal with on your own, especially at your age. I know that it is a hard conversation to have with your mother, but you cannot hide it from her forever ... (read in full...)
There's no spark, I don't think there ever was. Do I tell my b/f?
Q. I don't think I love my boyfriend anymore. We've been together for two years and I moved 200 miles away from home to his flat with him (and his mum) 6 months ago becaus of problems at home. We spend every minute of every day together and I can't ...
A. 6 December 2011: You need to talk to him. Have a long think about your future and what you want out of life. You moved your life to be with him, that is a huge deal and it is something that can take a while to adjust to. If there is anything you miss about being at ... (read in full...)
I'm worried about my b/f and his friend that is alot like him
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for nearly 14 months now,and we had a great relationship before I found a drunken text on his phone to his ex- he said he still loved her. He said it meant nothing, and he cried and was violently sick when i found out,and ...
A. 6 December 2011: Really there is no way to change how you feel. He put doubt in your mind as soon as you found that text and off course it is going to make you paranoid now because he does have a lot in common with her and does spend time with her. Off course from ... (read in full...)
He did play me for a fool but he was also interested in me before. Should I now continue talking to him and see where it leads? Or call it quits?
Q. pleasee help me i am overly confused over an year ago i liked this guy and he liked me but he was talking to me and my friend at the same time,i found out and completely deleted his number and everything.after a week or so he got into a relation...
A. 6 December 2011: You where not in a relationship with him, therefore who he spoke to in the past really is his business and nobody else's. He was talking to you and your friend at the same time, but where is the crime in that? Yes he was keeping his options open, ... (read in full...)
A great guy, but sometimes I'm overwhelmed
Q. My boyfriend is a really great guy, kind and thoughtful but sometimes I feel as if he's taking over too much and overwhelming me. He will send me jokes and then say I must mail them to my dad/brother/sister when I feel they are inapprop...
A. 6 December 2011: Am sure he does not mean any harm, this is just the way that he is, you don't have something so he feels he is helping you by bringing it to you, as for the plant well he is just trying to keep you on top of things, as for the jokes well he just ... (read in full...)
How can I ask him out if I can't run into him?
Q. How can i ask this man out ?. He is much older than myself. I know that he used to go out on Wednesdays and Sundays and there are two places that i know he likes to go in, an i know roughly what time he went out on those days. I haven't seen him ...
A. 6 December 2011: I wouldn't just turn up to a bar on your own in hope that you might bump in to him, this might leave him a bit frightened that you are some sort of stalker. Tell your friends about how you feel about this man, and ask them to help you out by going ... (read in full...)
Do I send any further communication?
Q. Hi All, I will try to be breif but since my LD bf and I met in March this year we have had a roller coaster of a relationship. Due to my past and lots of other things going on in my life ( My Dad being diagnosed with cancer one of them) I have bee...
A. 6 December 2011: You have sent him a lovely mail, so now leave it at that and let him contact you first! He obviously needs a bit of space right now to get his head around things and what he wants, so I think you should give him some space and allow him to contact ... (read in full...)
None of my friends like me anymore?
Q. Thank you so much for reading/helping me, to start off! In 9th grade, I transfered to a new schol, and I made a bunch of friends. Over the past few years (I'm now in 11th grade), these friends have started to not talk to me, barely talk to m...
A. 6 December 2011: If they are being mean to you, then pull them up there and then and ask them what it is that you have done wrong on them, there must be something wrong when they are all acting like this, and only you can get to the bottom of it. Talk to them, ask ... (read in full...)
To contact or not? How long to wait? Guys are confusing!
Q. Friday night (about midnight) I met up with a female friend from out of town who was out on an internet date with a guy at a bar. There was another guy hanging out with them when I arrived. He was nice, quiet, a little more reserved (much like my ...
A. 6 December 2011: I think he is unsure about what he really wants at the moment. To me if he was interested I think he would have contacted you again. Something is holding him back but am not sure what it is to be honest. Maybe give it a few days if he does not get ... (read in full...)
How do I give him a night to remember?
Q. Hey aunts.. Sum advice pls. My man of 6 months works away, I am going near to where he is on sum business so I'm staying the night in a hotel and he's coming to stay the night. We've only slept together a handful of times.. And it's been quite ...
A. 6 December 2011: To be honest if you where to give him oral sex it being rubbish would be the last thing on his mind. Off course there is always room for improvement on these things, so just ask him to guide you through it and tell you what feels nice and what ... (read in full...)
Ladies: If your husband doesn't fulfill you sexually will you get tired of it?
Q. I wanted to ask this question mostly to married women and particularly to the ones that may relate to what I'm saying. I'm dating this girl for 3 years and I got the feeling she was ready to settle down. So, a couple of weeks ago I got the courage ...
A. 6 December 2011: You need to talk to her about this one, only she knows how she feels. As for sexually well there is always room for improvement. So talk to her and see if there is anything new she would like to try, always remember to have plenty of foreplay before ... (read in full...)
I told my b/f I only slept with someone once while we were broken up but that's not true. what if he finds out?
Q. me and my bf of 2 years broke up earlier this year and were apart fir a few months. during that time i was sleeping with someone, it was a rebound he was gorgeous and he made me feel good but there was nothing more to it. as soon as we got talking ...
A. 6 December 2011: If you feel that this is the man for you well then I think you should come clean with him, if not you will always be on edge that he will find out. At the end of the day you never done anything wrong. You where single as was he and it was a rebound. ... (read in full...)
I need a song to sing someone to sleep to!
Q. I'm sure that this might be the first time anyone on Dear Cupid has asked this question (with all the questions lurking in the archives, who knows?), but it means a lot to me, so thank you if you can answer. My romantic dream has always been to s...
A. 6 December 2011: Research songs on line that you feel you can connect with and it speaks your feelings to that person. Only you know how you feel, and only you know what songs will touch you and which wont. You could always try writing your own lyrics if you feel ... (read in full...)
Why do men focus so much on female orgasm?
Q. Why do men focus so much on female orgasm? My bf is insecure because he's only been able to make me orgasm twice orally in the 4 months we've been together and if I don't orgasm, he sees it as failure and it prevents him from being hard again to ...
A. 5 December 2011: It is just about his ego that is all. He feels like he is failing you when he cannot make you orgasm. Just keep reassuring him that you enjoy it weather you orgasm or not. Tell him it is not his fault and just reassure him that he is a good lover.... (read in full...)
I just really can't stop thinking about him. I don't know what to do. Would it be wrong to date her ex?
Q. Last friday night I went to a bar to celebrate my cousin's birthday. She's not my blood cousin but I've known her since she was born. Her sister was there and although we aren't very close I still consider her family. A few years ago the cousin (the...
A. 5 December 2011: I think you should talk to her about this situation. I can see that you are a genuine person and even though she hurt you, you don't want to do the same to her, which is a very good thing to do. She has some sort of hold over him and am not sure she ... (read in full...)
How can I get a sense of closure. My teacher is moving away.
Q. I am a little confused. What is supposed to be my reaction to a teacher saying that there "wont be anyone like you where I'll be going" and "I wish you could come with me to _____" or "I wish I didnt have to leave you" ???? I mean, this teach...
A. 5 December 2011: Off course it is hard, you have developed a friendship with him and now he is leaving. So off course you are going to be sad. But I guess this happens in life all the time, great friendships are made but then broke because someone moves away. It ... (read in full...)
His ex is hovering around him and its driving me crazy!
Q. Ok, so I don't usually visit these sites, but I'm really In need of some honest advice, I am 34, and and engaged to be married next year, my fiance is 33,we got together about 3 years ago, I knew he had a past and a rep for being a bad boy, but it ...
A. 5 December 2011: You feel like you are going mad because he is making you feel like you are going mad. He is making you feel like it is all in your head and he is very good at worming his way out of situations. He feels like he has you wrapped around his little ... (read in full...)
Struggling to cope after miscarriage and now I am insecure he has cheated! Help!
Q. Hi long story now but here goes. I had a miscarriage 3 weeks ago and I had to have an CRPC to remove what was left. After that I came home. Me and bf were both very upset about it but he has also been quite insensitive at times, i.e. on the evening ...
A. 5 December 2011: First off I am really sorry that you lost your child, and it will take you a long time to get over an ordeal as big as this. Naturally you turned to drink and smoking to block out the pain and try and forget it, that is completely normal. But I am ... (read in full...)
Missing my LDR. Am I pushing him away? Am I starting to lose feelings for him, because I'm doubting myself?
Q. My boyfriend is away on placement for 5 weeks and its only been two weeks without him. He's in Africa and im in the UK. We have been together for 8 months which for me is a long time as im not one for relationships. i feel like I'm pushing ...
A. 5 December 2011: I think you are trying to stop yourself from missing him because you don't want to feel sad and lonely. Therefore you are pushing him away to keep him at arms length. But if you do this he is going to think you don't care for him and he is going to ... (read in full...)
How can I show him I am not joking?
Q. Hi there's this guy he says that I am one of those many girls that can turn him on,I love his conversations their always interesting , He Respects me but loves to tease me and make funny jokes about me He says he loves it when I am angry because I ...
A. 5 December 2011: Are you sure you are not just one of many girls that he likes to flirt with and have a joke with? It sounds to me like he does not want anything serious and just likes having a bit of fun with girls. He probably puts you off by saying he feels you ... (read in full...)
How do I fill the void in my life without her/
Q. hi, We fell in love almost 2 years back. but, now her family is not allowing her relation with me and even she has decided to do what her family wants her to do. I have accepted her decision. What should i do, so that atleast i wont feel the ...
A. 4 December 2011: There really is not a lot that you can do here. Give yourself time to get over her and accept that it is over and there is nothing you can do to make her change her mind. Allow yourself time to be sad and upset. Hang out with friends and allow them ... (read in full...)
What can a person do when they love someone who doesn't love them back?
Q. What can a person do when they love someone who doesn't love them back? Specially when the one they love is just perfect. When they have tried for more than 3 years to get over it, to find one flaw in the one they love, to find anyone who would have ...
A. 4 December 2011: First of you need to stop looking for a flaw because obviously to you there just is not any when it concerns him. Am pretty sure he has a few but you just cannot see them, as you are so much in love with the guy.
Instead of looking for faults y... (read in full...)
Should I remain optimistic and wait 2 years for my ex?
Q. My ex of 7 years and I broke up about a week ago. I am going through emotionally tolling ups and downs about the situation as of right now and don't know how to deal. She has become bored and claims "nothing excites me" as to my we have broken up. ...
A. 4 December 2011: Off course you do, as I said it is still al fresh and you want it to be ok again and you will continue like that until you accept that it is over. Off course you don't want it to be, but you need to see that it is and it is finished and you need to ... (read in full...)
Does he want me to move on?
Q. i don't know how to take this. recently the man i've been involved with for a better part of 5 yrs responded to an email i sent him wishing him and his family a Happy Thanksgiving. Mind you this was the first time i attempted to write to him...
A. 3 December 2011: I think deep down he wants someone to be there for you as a partner and for you to be happy, but he can't bare the fact that another guy will get near you sexually. To me it sounds like he wants you sexually but he is not wanting anything serious ... (read in full...)
Friends with potential?
Q. This week a friend Ive known for years made a move on me and we made out a bit. I was really suprised by his behavior though because years ago I tried to take the initive but he told me "we were just friends" Weve always hung out in groups and he ...
A. 3 December 2011: Ask him what it is that he wants, it sounds to me like you might want a lot more than he does, it might just have been a bit of fooling around for him, yet it means so much more to you. To be honest I think you need to ask him what he wants, so that ... (read in full...)
I want to be in a relationship with him before some other girl gets him, but I also don't want to rush him! Help!
Q. So, the guy I like and I have become close lately. After he broke up with his girlfriend, he told me that he wasnt ready for a relationship, and I was completely okay with that, because I had just been broken up with too. So I was surely in no place ...
A. 3 December 2011: Well it sounds to me like he is only taking things slow because he is insecure and he thinks he is going to mess it up so he is scared to move forward because of his past relationships, why does it need to be him to ask you out, why do you not take ... (read in full...)
Should I dump my girlfriend because she accepted a date with my friend?
Q. i have been seeing this girl for 6 months now though it has been a long distance relationship. My problem is she rarely calls or text to atleast make me feel special too but she replies to my texts or missed calls and she says she loves me. I ...
A. 3 December 2011: If she is going around accepting dates with complete strangers then am sorry but she is not head over heels in love with you. She does not make the effort to contact you, it sounds to me like she is stringing you along and just amusing herself by ... (read in full...)
Should I remain optimistic and wait 2 years for my ex?
Q. My ex of 7 years and I broke up about a week ago. I am going through emotionally tolling ups and downs about the situation as of right now and don't know how to deal. She has become bored and claims "nothing excites me" as to my we have broken up. ...
A. 3 December 2011: Off course seven years are not going to just disappear from your memory, everything is still raw at the moment, off course it is going to be hard for a while, these things always are. It is going to take you some time to deal with this. So allow ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend and facebook issues. Could it be true that it's her fault he dumped me?
Q. Okay this is weird since just a few hours ago I posted comment about how my boyfriend and how he isnt caring and well he just dumped me like 3 hours ago. I um well I feel really empty and depressed.. And upset because I called that mean girl tha...
A. 3 December 2011: Nobody forced him in to dumping you, it was his choice to make. Yes it is possible that she may have said something to him, but if he trusted you he would have asked you about it instead of just dumping you without any reason, and him doing it over ... (read in full...)
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