Did I mess up, or did she just use me?
Q. So, there is (or rather, was) this girl with whom I am platonically infatuated with whom I had a previous rapport with (i had actually asked her out once before with disastrous results) whom I asked out on a date about a year or so ago...after a ...
A. 30 October 2012: If you want me to be completely honest with you then I would say you blew this way out of proportion. If it was me I would be quite annoyed with you as well. You allowed her to have the tickets therefore she just wanted to know if you where able to ... (read in full...)
Just started dating but very little sex
Q. I have started seeing this girl (28 I am 34) a 2 months ago. We liked each other right away and after a few times we made love. We where both traveling the first month so we only got together briefly 3 times and made love. She then came to my city ...
A. 14 October 2012: People who are in relationships for years find it hard if suddenly they have distance between them so I can completely understand what you mean, off course it is going to be hard if you both cannot meet up more and get to know each other better. The ... (read in full...)
Did I mess up, or did she just use me?
Q. So, there is (or rather, was) this girl with whom I am platonically infatuated with whom I had a previous rapport with (i had actually asked her out once before with disastrous results) whom I asked out on a date about a year or so ago...after a ...
A. 14 October 2012: If I am honest with you it really is hard to tell where this girl is coming from. I suggest you take things slow this time though, go out on a few dates and have a laugh, enjoy each others company and see if it kicks off this time. Maybe she has ... (read in full...)
My younger brother seems to be cyber stalking girls, what do I do?
Q. Hello i dont know what to do with this. i was on my phone yesterday and my brother had used it earlier and gone on his facebook when i got it back it was still logged in and i know that he can be very immature with his friends so i looked at his ...
A. 4 October 2012: It's clear in your post that you are a guy so am not sure why there was confusion from some people. I think the best thing for you to do is to sit down with your brother and explain to him that you found his messages on your phone. Explain to him ... (read in full...)
Just started dating but very little sex
Q. I have started seeing this girl (28 I am 34) a 2 months ago. We liked each other right away and after a few times we made love. We where both traveling the first month so we only got together briefly 3 times and made love. She then came to my city ...
A. 4 October 2012: Well you may want more, but the way you behaved shows that sex is number one for you and then any thing after that comes second. Yes am sure she pulled back because of this. Most women want a man who sex is not his top priority. They take the time ... (read in full...)
Any thoughts on how to overcome being overly emotional? I thought we had something happening. Maybe? But now he wants to 'go slow' and not rush thing????
Q. For the past 2 months, I've been dating a co-worker. He's a custodian who specifically is responsible for cleaning/maintaining my office. It's been a bit tough because I work days and he works 3 - 11 pm. He would usually come in to take out my t...
A. 4 October 2012: It is still very early days for the both of you so I think all you can do now is wait and see what happens. I think you came on to strong to quick for him and it freaked him out a little so he backed off. I am not sure if you can both recover from ... (read in full...)
Just started dating but very little sex
Q. I have started seeing this girl (28 I am 34) a 2 months ago. We liked each other right away and after a few times we made love. We where both traveling the first month so we only got together briefly 3 times and made love. She then came to my city ...
A. 4 October 2012: This situation is not going to change. It is clear all you are wanting is sex, and she is not willing to have that kind of relationship with you as she wants more. You pressured her in to trying to come and have sex with you yet she just wants to ... (read in full...)
Does the way he act towards other women on Skype mean he isn't as interested in me? Men's opinions please.
Q. I've been interested in this man who is currently casually dating. We just went out several times. Other than me, I know he has other women he's casually going out with too. I am online almost always and when I see him online at Skype, I wanted to ...
A. 4 October 2012: I know I am not male but I would like to give my opinion anyway. You say you have feelings for this man and you wonder if he returns them, my guess is that no he doesn't because if he did he would not be dating others he would commit to you. He is ... (read in full...)
Did I mess up, or did she just use me?
Q. So, there is (or rather, was) this girl with whom I am platonically infatuated with whom I had a previous rapport with (i had actually asked her out once before with disastrous results) whom I asked out on a date about a year or so ago...after a ...
A. 4 October 2012: You are letting this eat away at you and get to you. Yes I think it is a good idea that you get closure on this. It is rude of her to just ignore you when you ask her out, and the same goes for the concert. To me that shows totally lack off respect ... (read in full...)
Should we wait until we have sex for the first time to try anything or should we find out our likes/dislikes now?
Q. I'm 17 and have been with my boyfriend for 2 years. Our school did a sex ed talk with our form yesterday and we answered loads of questions and talked about stuff as a class. I found it really interesting. I discovered lots of things about my ...
A. 3 October 2012: As long as you both feel comfortable exploring each others bodies and having sexual contact then you are not doing anything wrong at all. Sometimes it is better to build a sexual relationship gradually so you are both on the right track, as long as ... (read in full...)
How can I change my boyfriend's mind about my dogs and convince him they aren't vicious? He wants me to get rid of them!
Q. Help me please! My boyfriend wants me to get rid of my dogs! My dad is a police dog trainer, and ever since i was a kid i've been used to having big dogs. I live on my own and i have two grown rottweilers and just adopted a pitbull puppy. I have ...
A. 3 October 2012: I am afraid there really is no way that you can make him change his mind, the same way that he cannot make you get rid of them. Some people like dogs while others have some fear against them, especially the types of dogs that you have. Maybe in time ... (read in full...)
Why does he act like he cares and then he acts like he doesn't?
Q. I am Asian and in my culture it is quite common to get married to your cousins. I understand that this is not something everyone agrees with but its very common where my family are from. My parents are first cousins too and I love there relationship ...
A. 3 October 2012: Well adding to everything the fact that you have both never met as well would also cause someone doubts. At the moment you are only having a cyber relationship. Personally I feel it would benefit you both more to meet and get to know each other face ... (read in full...)
How does one get past being cheated on? I'm having anxiety attacks over it.
Q. How do you move past being cheated on? I've tried I get anxiety attacks and I don't feel good enough for anyone. I've even sat around and cried is it something I did what can I do to ensure this wont happen again....
A. 3 October 2012: It is completely normal for your confidence and self esteem issues to hit rock bottom when you are cheated on. Yes it makes you feel worthless and not good enough for anyone and yes it makes it really hard to trust someone again. It really is ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has started holding my head and staring at me during sex. It's weird and makes me uncomfortable, how do I get him to stop?
Q. This is a bit embarrassing but... My boyfriend of four years has started doing something really strange when we have sex. He started doing that close to six months ago and I don't know why he started. When we are...in the act...he holds my head i...
A. 3 October 2012: Him staring at you is probably just a look of intimacy for most people. In relationships some people connect on this level and find it intimate to stare at each other, yet it is obvious you feel that it is uncomfortable. Maybe he just feels like ... (read in full...)
My parents seemed cold towards meeting my black girlfriend, then later mom called and said she wanted bi-racial babies. What do I say?
Q. I'm a senior in college and over the summer I brought my gf home to meet my folks. We had been dating for a year and wanted to wait before meeting each other's families. So the first half of the holiday we went to her parents' in another state---it ...
A. 3 October 2012: Personally I don't think you should tell your girlfriend about this as it might just hurt her, she may end up feeling that your mother does not like her because of her skin colour and that she only wants you to be with her so she can have ... (read in full...)
My younger brother seems to be cyber stalking girls, what do I do?
Q. Hello i dont know what to do with this. i was on my phone yesterday and my brother had used it earlier and gone on his facebook when i got it back it was still logged in and i know that he can be very immature with his friends so i looked at his ...
A. 3 October 2012: My guess is that this is probably innocent enough to him, it is likely that he is just looking for attention from these girls. At the end of the day if this girl was really worried or really deep down wanted him to stop then she could always block ... (read in full...)
He's really cute, BUT : 'does he like me?'
Q. I was at a party (we are in our twenties) for our students on the Dean's List. Anyway there was a really cute guy there and we talked on and off through the party and at one point I looked at him across the room and and we made eye contact (this ...
A. 3 October 2012: All the signs are good. But just do not get to carried away. Enjoy getting to know him and have fun but do not hope for to much to soon. ... (read in full...)
I get very wound up. But he ends up making me feel guilty. Am I over-reacting?
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for almost two years and we're both in our early twenties. We've never had a proper argument, never had a shouting match, never stormed out on the other. What we do have is probably more of a problem on my part, but his ...
A. 3 October 2012: He knows fine well what he is doing. He is acting all innocent and turning on the self pity so it does not escalate in to an argument, am sure he does not mean to make you feel guilty he is probably just wanting to avoid argument. However you need ... (read in full...)
I am truly doubting my decision to break up. Despite his failings, did I make a mistake to break up with him? Help!!!
Q. I broke up with my boyfriend last Friday and I'm starting to doubt my decision. Did I make a mistake? We had been together for a little over two years and we had been in a LDR for six months (I was the one who had to move due to my dad's job). I...
A. 3 October 2012: I am not sure why it is you are feeling so lonely when he doesn't seem to make an effort even to contact you any more. His sister should never have hit you and he should have had a word with her about that, it never should have happened. Can I ask ... (read in full...)
I don't want to lose her, but we have some trust issues. But could it be that I don't satisfy her sexually?
Q. I'm 45 shes 31 - dating a month. On every other level we have a blast - we click, but when it comes to sex lately I think there are some trust issues that arise. I'm use to doing the pleasing but I'm not seeing that in her, its more shes trying t...
A. 3 October 2012: I suggest you should come up with some sort of plan. It is great that you both obviously love trying to please the other one. Suggest that you maybe take it in turns. One night you concentrate on pleasing her and vice versa. ... (read in full...)
She thinks we are platonic friends. I have had a huge crush on her for ages. Should I let her move in with me?
Q. I have a rather huge problem. i'm in college, right. And a friend from high school, a female friend, that i've known for three years also goes to the same college as me. We hang out a lot and i do have a huge crush on her, but I never told her. The...
A. 3 October 2012: I think it would be a terrible idea for you to agree to let her move in with you. For a start you are already thinking about possible ways to try and get her to return your feelings while living together, if this all went wrong you would both be ... (read in full...)
Is he embarassed when he sees me because he knows that I really really like him?
Q. the guy I like is my neighbour in the student hostel i am not sure if he knows for sure I like him (I liked his Facebook pic but he did the same, I visited in his room once him but he visited me often, I wrote him on Facebook he didn't) but this ...
A. 3 October 2012: I think you are being paranoid more than anything. I doubt he would know you like him just from the things that you have mentioned. Why not try to get to know him better and see how the friendship develops.... (read in full...)
Should I have just said nothing at all? Her erratic behaviour on the vacation was too much for me
Q. should i just not say anything at all I went on a vacation with one of my husbands former co worker. Its not like she was my friend or anything like that. I just knew her and because we saw each other very seldom, she seemed ok for me to travel...
A. 3 October 2012: I can totally understand why you are frustrated and why this sort of behaviour would irritate you, but I think for the sake of another day or two you should just bite your tongue and put up with her for the sake of an argument. It is good to hear ... (read in full...)
Should I feel guilt or shame? I am having a relationship with a guy who used to be best friends with my ex
Q. I am having secret relationship with my ex-husband no longer former best friend's, is this trouble or what? Here is the background of how and why this developed. It started eight months after I left and filed for divorce. That is NOT why I left a...
A. 3 October 2012: You have started this relationship now, so there is no point wondering if you should feel guilty or not. Personally I always feel it is a no go for friends to go with there friends ex's even if the friendship is over. But I can understand why you ... (read in full...)
Are these signs that my sex buddy is falling for me? I don't want her to get hurt.
Q. So here is the deal: I met this really hot girl, she happened to like me back. She told me straight up she has no interest in relationship and so we started meeting to have some amazing (and I mean it) sex. Now, I should be happy with this arra...
A. 3 October 2012: Your friend is wrong, because not every woman is wired the same way. Some people are happy to have no strings attached sex while others aren't, and yes some end up falling for the man the are hooking up with, while others don't.
If you want my ... (read in full...)
He's my ex and now he's married. So is he just looking for a booty call with me? Based on his actions?
Q. My ex dumped me a few years back. We were together a long time. It got really bad at the end. He ended up getting a restraining order against me because i would follow him, (not proud of that). Anyway, we bumped into each other last year. It was n...
A. 3 October 2012: It really is hard to tell what he is looking for. It could be a case that he cares about you and just wants to stay in touch, or you could be right he might just be looking for a quick hook up. I would lean more against the hook up. Why I think this ... (read in full...)
Should I take a risk and move to Sweden??
Q. I'm thinking about moving to Sweden for a couple of years to live or study...it's something that's been in my mind for about three years now. Even though i don't NEED to study further because i'm 26 and already have two degrees, i would just lik...
A. 3 October 2012: I can understand your fear I really can, but you only live once. As you said you are self employed so you run the risk of work drying up where ever you are, so it could happen that your earnings fall at home as much as they would in Sweden and vice ... (read in full...)
He broke it off. But he still hangs around us a lot. I know he get depressed. But could he be having second thoughts about the break-up?
Q. Hi things came to a sudden end in august we were together for 6 years we have children and he sees them regular, we have slept with eachother a few times, he seems to be hanging round a lot one min and not as much the next he says hes not interested ...
A. 3 October 2012: Its simple you ask him. Having sex with an ex is never a good idea, and I strongly advice not to go down that road as people get hurt and it makes the pain so much worse to over come. So if he does try to become sexual with you tell him you are not ... (read in full...)
I no longer know if I want to get married. So how do I bring up the subject to him?
Q. I found out my boyfriend has been looking up engagement rings lately. Im happy and flattered. We talked about marriage before and i used to be excited about it. I love him very much and i know he loves me. We have had our trials but we have gott...
A. 3 October 2012: There really is only one thing you can do here and that is be honest with him. It is good to hear you are committed to him and your family and that you are a happy little unit, but communication is also a huge part of a relationship. So you just ... (read in full...)
I was ill and worried and acting kind of crazy with him. Did I ruin things?
Q. I've been dating a guy from work for the past 2.5 months. Things had been great up until 3 weeks ago. He started to become distant and I started to chase him. It took me about a week to realize that was what was happening and so I tried to back off. ...
A. 3 October 2012: If I am honest with you I am not sure this was all down to your medical issue. It was still early days and you where only both getting to know each other, and yes you came across as very clingy and needy which scared him away that is clear to see. ... (read in full...)
Help, do I like him? am I giving him the wrong impression? advice what to do on upcoming party?
Q. Ive started liking this guy, i cant decide wheather its me actually likng him or the thought of being with him. The problem is i dont think ill ever be able to show him i like him, or if i even have a chance with him. Hes in the 'cool boy' clang at...
A. 3 October 2012: Well really the only thing you can do here now is to make an effort to get to know him. If you want him to take you serious then I would suggest stop flirting with his friends, as yes you are right it may give him the wrong impression of you and ... (read in full...)
Just started dating but very little sex
Q. I have started seeing this girl (28 I am 34) a 2 months ago. We liked each other right away and after a few times we made love. We where both traveling the first month so we only got together briefly 3 times and made love. She then came to my city ...
A. 3 October 2012: It is still very early days between the both of you, so maybe you should concentrate more on getting to know her better as well as being intimate with her. Maybe she thinks that all you are looking for is sex and that is why she is not willing to ... (read in full...)
Why does he act like he cares and then he acts like he doesn't?
Q. I am Asian and in my culture it is quite common to get married to your cousins. I understand that this is not something everyone agrees with but its very common where my family are from. My parents are first cousins too and I love there relationship ...
A. 3 October 2012: Okay I am aware that your parents are first cousins and that it would be okay with your parents if you where to get involved with your cousin as well. But it looks like he has doubts about it. Maybe his parents wouldn't feel the same? Whatever his ... (read in full...)
The heart wants what it cannot have?
Q. This is quite the long and complicated story but I will try and keep it simple. I met a woman about six months ago who revealed to me that she was bisexual very early on. When we first met I noticed that we had a strong connection and the more I got ...
A. 3 October 2012: If I am really honest with you I think you are waiting around for something that is never going to happen. Yes she may be bisexual and attracted to women but she has admitted herself that she would rather be in a relationship with a male. This is ... (read in full...)
Is it wrong of me to be irritated when my ex wants to show me pics his ex took of him while they were on vacations together.
Q. Is it wrong of me to be irritated when my ex wants to show me pics his ex took of him while they were on vacations together. He has them downloaded on his computer and will show them to me talking about the place they were at. He even uses one of ...
A. 3 October 2012: Well he is obviously your ex for a reason now as well. If it bothers you maybe you are not over him yet, and if that is the case then I suggest you spend some time apart, if you are unwilling to do that then I suggest you just be honest with him and ... (read in full...)
I'm starting a new job and I have no confidence, what do I do?
Q. I will soon be starting a new job that requires working with people all day. The only problem is I have zero self esteem and zero confidence. I don't like to join in conversations as I'm terrified i'll say something stupid and embarrass myself. I ...
A. 3 October 2012: It is natural to have some fears and nerves before starting a new job, and it does not help that you have no confidence in yourself. You obviously done something right in the interview, and you should praise yourself for getting through the ... (read in full...)
What is the best thing to do after you tell a guy you like them
Q. I ask this question because I'm kind of all over the plave right now, I don't really know what to do and am in need of guidance. You see, this guy knows I like him, right? Now the way he found out, I pretty much was upfront with him about it, saying ...
A. 3 October 2012: I honestly think you are hoping and praying for something that is just never going to happen here. Yes I can see that you really like him as so much more than a friend, but he is simply not interested in you that way. I would however not take that ... (read in full...)
Since he was diagnosed with bipolar he's started flirting with other women online. How should I react to this?
Q. I'm a 23 year-old woman in a steady relationship with my boyfriend of two years. I'd recently been in a vacation in the month of May and post the vacation am really petrified to observe certain discreet behavioural changes in him. He was diagnose...
A. 3 October 2012: My guess is that he is insecure because he knows that he is treating you wrong, and he is probably scared that you will treat him with the same disrespect. Maybe you would both benefit with going to couples counselling to sort through your issues. ... (read in full...)
What to do? My ex has a girlfriend yet he keeps texting me saying 'I miss having sex with you',
Q. So I broke up with my ex nearly 6 months ago after a rocky 3 and a half years! We had been through a lot but it was constand arguing and sex, sometimes I was happy, but then our sex life turned really rubbish, and it was him basically saying '...
A. 3 October 2012: I agree with Chiraven, get a block put on his number so that he cannot contact you again, or simply just ignore him. If it gets to much then change your number, but I strongly recommend never texting him back as this just fuels it even more.... (read in full...)
Why would I want to pull out of the share?
Q. I am in love with a casanova. He has a girlfriend and another female friend. And when I say friend, I mean a woman who invests her feelings on him too. What makes me think is how all three of us fall in love with him and care so much for him, it ...
A. 2 October 2012: Why would you want to pull out? I have to ask why would you not want to? As Sageoldguy1465 said it will eat away at you as a person, you will begin to feel worthless, will lose your self esteem and self respect. Ask yourself what exactly it is that ... (read in full...)
Does he want me to open up about my desires or not?
Q. hey everyone.i hope i get this sorted out here!!i'm 20 yrs old and this is my 2nd relationship..and first sexual partner , i've been with him for 3 years now . when we started out i was too young to really care about sexual "pleasure" and was more ...
A. 2 October 2012: I think you need to sort this out now. Sexual pleasure is a big part of a relationship, and if it is not happening in a relationship this is where people tend to go off and cheat on there partner. So it is time to open up to him and show him exactly ... (read in full...)
Since he was diagnosed with bipolar he's started flirting with other women online. How should I react to this?
Q. I'm a 23 year-old woman in a steady relationship with my boyfriend of two years. I'd recently been in a vacation in the month of May and post the vacation am really petrified to observe certain discreet behavioural changes in him. He was diagnose...
A. 2 October 2012: You say it is impossible to break up with him, but on the other hand you may end up feeling more alone and unhappy in this relationship than if you where not in it. You need to ask him why he felt he done it and show him that it is not okay to ... (read in full...)
Long-term, recently long-distance relationship, but I have a bisexual crush with my teacher!
Q. I'm a girl, I am having a long-term relationship with this awesome guy, and after some years of being together he's recently moved to another country and we're having a long-distance relationship now. I'm not ready to break things off with him, but ...
A. 2 October 2012: Even though you are over 18 and at university still does not mean that your teacher would be allowed to engage in any sort of personal relationship with you. Yes I am aware you are both adults, but in her line of work she is not allowed to engage in ... (read in full...)
I'm estranged from this relative, but still want her to know I'm willing to help
Q. I have a family problem that I hope you can help me with. A few months ago I found out that a relative to whom I used to be very close to is in big trouble and is really down on her luck. This could continue for the rest of her life. We have not ...
A. 29 September 2012: As you have said yourself a lot has happened between the both of you in the past that made you lose contact with her. I get why you would be worried about her now, at the end of the day you used to be close to her and she is your family. But my best ... (read in full...)
He's depressed how do I cheer him up?
Q. I've been talking to this guy for a few months, weve been flirting and have met a few times but it's going nowhere at the minute. Recently he's been feeling down and upset and I don't know how to cheer him up? Like, what to say to him? Any advice ...
A. 29 September 2012: There really is nothing much you can say to him. Sometimes when someone feels down then they want to be left by themselves. All you can really do is ensure him that you are there for him any time that he needs to talk day or night and that he can ... (read in full...)
Do you believe a mans view on a woman can change?
Q. If a man has been nothing but disrepsectful for most or all of his years, (since puberty to say) do you truly believe they could see women than more than boobs and ass? Do you believe a man could change and accept a woman properly if theyve had this ...
A. 29 September 2012: I believe someone can change as they get older yes. They may grow up looking at women as nothing but a piece of meet but they then might meet someone and realise there is more to them than that, also it might take a person longer to mature and ... (read in full...)
Did I mess up, or did she just use me?
Q. So, there is (or rather, was) this girl with whom I am platonically infatuated with whom I had a previous rapport with (i had actually asked her out once before with disastrous results) whom I asked out on a date about a year or so ago...after a ...
A. 23 August 2012: I think you are both to blame hear really, nobody is in the right or the wrong. You might not have felt like you where possessive but she sounds like she is a quite reserved girl who likes to take things slow, I think you wanted things to move to ... (read in full...)
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