How do I get the strength to leave the boyfriend who has been violent in the past?
Q. I've been in a 12 year relationship with my boyfriend. We never married. I'm 36 years old now and we don't have kids etc. We have had loads of ups and downs and yes I'm ashamed to say he's been violent in the past. I have little money etc, ...
A. 17 February 2016: No you don't sound pathetic at all. Believe it or not you are stronger than a lot of people. You have had the strength to go through an abusive childhood, you have grown up witnessing violence, so you have been taught from a young age that it is ... (read in full...)
I'm living with a girl who still has boyfriend. She says she'll end it with him when things are right
Q. So I've been seeing this girl now, but she has a boyfriend. ive been basically living at her place for a couple weeks now and she tells me she loves me and wants to be with me. Shes very close with his family and they have been together for a long ...
A. 17 February 2016: You can say that she is a good girl until you are blue in the face, it won't make a blind bit of difference. The truth is staring you in the face, you have plenty of people here telling you to be careful but you are burying your head in the sand. I ... (read in full...)
This girl overheard me and now she know who my crush is. How do I react when he finds out?
Q. hi,so i need a quick answer right now.heres my problem:so i have this crush,and i was talking about him with my friends,but this girl "overheard" it and yelled at my crush,fortunately he didn't hear,but she was yelling beside the bus, i was making ...
A. 16 February 2016: You should just ignore her. She wants to embarrass you. She is not a very nice girl. She wants attention. Don't give it to her. Just laugh at her and ignore her. If your crush finds out at least the truth is out in the open. ... (read in full...)
How do I get the strength to leave the boyfriend who has been violent in the past?
Q. I've been in a 12 year relationship with my boyfriend. We never married. I'm 36 years old now and we don't have kids etc. We have had loads of ups and downs and yes I'm ashamed to say he's been violent in the past. I have little money etc, ...
A. 16 February 2016: What is it you are scared about? This is an abusive relationship, one where you are not wanted, so why do you not want to leave? What is keeping you there?
I do understand 12 years is a long time, and off course you have forgave him for things in t... (read in full...)
Am I crazy to want sex with my ex- lover?
Q. Sex with ex- what is wrong with me! We both know this 'relationship' will not progress beyond sexual stuff. So why do I crave sex with him? Will it fizzle out on its own? Will it hinder my meeting someone new that I can build a future with? Saw him ...
A. 16 February 2016: It is natural to want to have sex with him because you where both intimate and passionate in the past therefore it is easy to follow in to that routine again. Is it okay to have sex with him until you find someone else? Well yes if you both know ... (read in full...)
Was I always the side chick?
Q. So me and this guy were dating for around 7 months we had gotten back together after we stopped talking for 6 years. He Brooke up with me about a week and a half ago and he's already got a new girlfriend. When he broke up with me I had accused ...
A. 16 February 2016: No sweetie he did not love you. He may have told you he did to get in to your knickers but that was all. It is clear he has used you, not only that but you where his dirty little secret. He clearly has no respect for you taking another girl to your ... (read in full...)
My ex says I deserve better but I want him back
Q. My boyfriend dumped me because I love him a lot and he says I deserve better than him.. actually I do but I love him more than anything and I'm dying without him.. how can I get him back?...
A. 16 February 2016: Sweetie am afraid you can't get him back. I know that you love him, but you need to accept that he does not feel the same way for you. He was kind to let you go when he knew he couldn't feel the same as you. You need to move on. Spend some time ... (read in full...)
Will he stray while I'm away working
Q. Hi folks. Question I have been off my work due to a injury I am now thinking of going back, as the money is really good, and there is no job opportunities where i stay. my partner knew my job situation and always thought it was great what I do....
A. 16 February 2016: I am fully aware that you love him, but do you think he loved you when he was having sex with that other woman? Do you think he loved you when he pushed you over and hurt you? He hasn't even admitted it, which makes him a huge coward as well as a ... (read in full...)
She gives oral sex but won't let me return the favor. Will she ever?
Q. A female friend of mine have been sexually open with each other for a while. Well, mainly sexually open with me. It's fun being able to talk and share on a sexual level, and she loves to help pleasure me through masturbation or oral. I love it...
A. 16 February 2016: Is it possible that maybe she has more feelings for you than just friendship? It is clear she wants to please you, this makes me wonder why though, do you think she could see you in a romantic way?
It is difficult for me to say if she will ever open... (read in full...)
Starting to mistrust these excuses
Q. I was in a failed marriage for 10 years when i started dating a colleague who is 3 years younger. He was quite confident of our future at that time so i went ahead and filed for divorce with my husband. Now the guy I am dating feels that I am rush...
A. 16 February 2016: I am sorry that he has left you, but I know in the long run once you have got your life together you will be glad he is out of your life. It is just a shame that you have been caught up in his games. ... (read in full...)
I think my so called boyfriend spent valentines with someone else
Q. I was supposed to see him on the Saturday but I never heard from him and I text him in the afternoon to check whether it was still on,he didn't reply so I tried calling a couple hours later but he'd switched his phone off.he phoned back at about 10 ...
A. 16 February 2016: He feels that he has some sort of hold over you, he is jealous because he doesn't want anybody else to have you, don't mistake that as feelings that he cares about you, because that is not always the case. He wants to sleep around with others but he ... (read in full...)
I know he's been lying about contact with his ex but should I let it go as he suggests?
Q. My boyfriend broke my trust last year in July. We had been together for two years and during the beginning of our relationship his ex would always call him until a point she became a distraction to us. He said he blocked her and stopped being in ...
A. 15 February 2016: You don't trust him sweetie and well I don't blame you, but a relationship needs trust to work no matter how hard you try it won't work if you can't trust him.
He lied to you which it appears he may still be doing. You want to see the good in him ... (read in full...)
Find myself with no one after break up with fiance
Q. My fiancé ended our relationship kind of out of nowhere and told me he didn't want to get married and was no longer in love with me. This was obviously hard on me because I was in love with him and had my heart set on marriage with him, and ev...
A. 15 February 2016: I am so sorry that you have found yourself in this situation. I can understand that it must be very difficult for you. Please don't let it bring you down though. The world is a huge place, with lots of wonderful people out there. You just need to ... (read in full...)
Is it acceptable to say love you to an ex?
Q. hi. last year i went through a very messy divorce. my ex husband shattered my heart and i became determined not to fall in love again. it would be safer that way. however 6 months ago i meet an extraordinary man, kind and sweet. we began to date. i ...
A. 15 February 2016: In my opinion I think this is crossing a line. It is great he gets on well with his ex, but to me an ex is an ex for a reason. He is with you now and he needs to put her in his past. You just need to tell him that this is not okay with you, tell him ... (read in full...)
Does my friend really love me?
Q. Sorry it's a long post, but I am really confused and need some help. A friend of mine told me last year that he loved me. I told him clearly that I felt only friendship about him. We went out later, got a bit drunk and we kissed each other. Life...
A. 15 February 2016: He told you he liked you, you told him you only saw him as a friend and then you get drunk and kiss him? That would have really messed with his head. That would have made him think that you where interested. He tries to keep his distance and then ... (read in full...)
Hw came in my mouth and it left a burning sensation. How long does that last?
Q. Hi, I'm 22 aND my bf and I gave our virginity to each other last yr. We only have had sex once sinxe and he pulled out before he ejaculatd. The other night I gave him a bj and he came in my mouth. He didn't givea warning aND held my head down so ...
A. 15 February 2016: Are you okay with the fact that he forcefully kept your head down and didn't warn you he was going to do that in your mouth? This is very disturbing behavior to me. I think you need to make it clear to him that this is not acceptable in anyway. This ... (read in full...)
10 euros? Is that really my worth? His ex wife walked away with all the luxuries and all I get is a gift for 10 euros?!
Q. Hi guys, i just wonder how everybody here think about this situation. I have a bf. we are 8 months now in our relationship. We are not living together. Our distance is about two hours drive. But we use to see each other almost every week, we call ...
A. 15 February 2016: If you know he loves you and he makes the effort all year around then you shouldn't be to worried, a teddy and a cup is more than a lot of people in a relationship may have got this year so be thankful. You cannot compare what he got his wife to ... (read in full...)
She doesn't seem into me at all, constantly talks to her ex'es, no intimacy with me, yet talks of "our" future. What's going on?
Q. Hello, I wondered whether somebody could help me with what may seem to be a small problem, but to me is massive. I recently started going out with a girl that I have known for around 20 years. We had a couple of brief sexual encounters a few ...
A. 15 February 2016: You sound like a wonderful person, well done to you. Be proud of the man that you are. You are generous, loving, kind and responsible. Please though don't be a push over. She is using you, she tells you words to keep you sweet, she lets you buy her ... (read in full...)
He has anxiety and OCD and I have anxiety. I'm not sure that this relationship is working out!
Q. I just moved 2 weeks ago with my bf. We have been together for 6 months. He is a good guy and he has always been patient with me and my issues. But, he can be so difficult at times. Right now, I am unemployed, and he is paying the rent and my ...
A. 15 February 2016: I can understand with his OCD that this can be difficult for you, both having anxiety does not help. But sweetie he is being emotionally abusive to you, this will only get worse. You need to leave now while you can. Talk to your mother, tell her ... (read in full...)
Why don't I have enough self respect to walk away?
Q. I think he wants me to break up with him. I have been with him for 6 months.He doesn't like confrontations.so he is trying to get me to break up with him. He openly goes out at nights. He is on Craigslist sleeping around.One of my friends set up a...
A. 15 February 2016: Gain some confidence, tell yourself you deserve better than this, be kind to yourself. It will hurt but you will get over him and meet someone who actually cares about you. Stay with this guy and your confidence will keep dropping, you will have no ... (read in full...)
Jealousy or is he speaking to someone else?
Q. Well I've been speaking to this guy on facebook for around 3 months. Lets say his name is kian He is lovely and calls me every night to speak to me. I've tried meeting him before but he never turned up. He said his phone died and he couldn't...
A. 15 February 2016: Yes I think he will use you sweetie. It is great to see someone your age admitting that you don't want to do anything with a lad. You are so young and not ready yet. He sounds like he is bad news and just wants to meet you to do things sexual. I ... (read in full...)
Does it sound like I'm a difficult person?
Q. I wrote some months back about my relationship, and whether I should keep going and continue to try, or that was it. Here is the link: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/without-passion-is-it-worth-it.html I appreciate all your answers to my fi...
A. 15 February 2016: Please just continue to be yourself. Someone one day will love you for who you are. Little quirks and all. It sounds like he was just trying to find some excuses to end the relationship and make it look like it was your fault. You be the person you ... (read in full...)
I think my so called boyfriend spent valentines with someone else
Q. I was supposed to see him on the Saturday but I never heard from him and I text him in the afternoon to check whether it was still on,he didn't reply so I tried calling a couple hours later but he'd switched his phone off.he phoned back at about 10 ...
A. 15 February 2016: You are better off on your own Sweetie. Sounds to me like you have had a lucky escape. Don't even give him the chance to explain, he doesn't deserve you. ... (read in full...)
Can I stop friends hitting on my mom.
Q. its about my mom, i think she is acting insane. I am 26, my mom is 46. My parents know each other since they were 14. They got married early and had me when they were 20. lately they are though friendly with each other, live their separate ...
A. 15 February 2016: Your mum is old enough to make her own choices in life. You need to respect that. Yes it is hard that your friend was hitting on her, but again your friend is also an adult, its there business what they do. ... (read in full...)
How can I get my father's daughter and my boyfriend to grow up and stop trying to annoy one another?
Q. My ex and I have share custody of my 5 year old daughter. We get along great and we do many things together as a "family". I have been dating my current boyfriend for a year and he is perfect. I've never had a guy treat me the way he does, he's ...
A. 15 February 2016: If your boyfriend had a child with another woman and they where doing this to you how would you feel? Insecure? Upset? Disrespected? I think that is how I would feel.
I think it is great that you get on with your ex for your daughters sake. But ... (read in full...)
After 7 years of only seeing his son once, my ex now wants in his life. What shall I do?
Q. Hi everyone my son is 7 years old my ex has never seen him apart from once when he was 2 weeks old I had to involve the police as he kept threatening me and even threatened to make me have a miscarriage I was willing for him to see his son but he ...
A. 15 February 2016: This is a tricky situation, as you said yourself you never did stop him from seeing him. But he cannot just rock up seven years later and demand to see his son.
You have been there for your son since he was born. Only you know what kind of pers... (read in full...)
I had a dream that my much older boyfriend is gay. Should I be concerned?
Q. Hello, I had a dream a couple of nights ago that my boyfriend of a year had a homosexual affair. what happened was, in my dream I visited a lad who was in my year at school whom now works at my place of work. my boyfriend arrived at the house and...
A. 15 February 2016: I think that this was just a dream that you had, or if you would like to call it a nightmare. Our minds like to play tricks on us, especially when we are ill as we probably are feverish. It is nothing at all to worry about, you can even share it ... (read in full...)
I'm living with a girl who still has boyfriend. She says she'll end it with him when things are right
Q. So I've been seeing this girl now, but she has a boyfriend. ive been basically living at her place for a couple weeks now and she tells me she loves me and wants to be with me. Shes very close with his family and they have been together for a long ...
A. 15 February 2016: Ask yourself this....Can you trust her? She claims to love him and his family, she has knowing them since she was a child, yet she is cheating on him and not being honest? If she can do that to someone she cares so much about, don't you think she ... (read in full...)
Should I worry about his Valentine blunder?
Q. My BF of 3 years had to work all day on Valentine's Day. He gave me my gift and we celebrated on Friday. Yesterday we had a quick chat while he was at work. He texted me, "Be my Valentine?", and I said "Yes" and asked if he will be mine. He sai...
A. 15 February 2016: Most people would have been thankful that instead of just working all day he made the effort on Friday to give you a gift. I would have been over the moon with that, also he texted during Valentines which was great. You look for the wrong in ... (read in full...)
My teacher has started treating me differently and won't listen to me
Q. Hey everyone i have a problem with my teacher this is the last year. Here in high school He taught me english for two years .he is an excellent english teacher and i really respect him a lot he is nice to me and we talk all the times i konw tha...
A. 15 February 2016: Maybe you are expecting to much from this teacher. The only thing for you to do is to keep doing your work and focusing on your studies. ... (read in full...)
Help me with my foolish feelings
Q. I don't understand myself. Why do I keep thinking that someone who didn't consider my feelings/wants when we were together for four years, would consider them now that we broke up one month ago. I have not seen him and contact is minimal. There is ...
A. 15 February 2016: You only broke up a month ago so give yourself a break. Off course it is going to be hard at the moment. These things take time. Your emotions are all over the place. When a relationship ends we remember all the good times, and put the bad things to ... (read in full...)
Can I get pregnant from boyfriend having sex then taking off condom and putting himself back into me?
Q. Dear Cupid, I have been stupid and need help. Me and my boyfriend were fooling around last week after having a drink and had sex (this isn't our first time) but afterwards we joked about having children and he put it back in as a joke without a ...
A. 15 February 2016: Yes there is a risk of pregnancy if some off his semen got inside of you. Try not to worry about it, it is unlikely but you both need to be more careful. Having children is not something to joke about. If you are both being intimate and not wanting ... (read in full...)
Could I get pregnant this way?
Q. Hey all! so, I am a 35 year old married woman- hubby and I dont want kids. I have been on the pill for 10 years and a few months I had to quit because my body was starting to feel the stress. Hubby and I have been using condoms since. Lately, ...
A. 15 February 2016: Yes it is possible that you could get pregnant. It is slight but there is still that risk.
I can understand you are both adults and not teenagers, however it sounds to me like an immature decision if you both don't want a child. Why would you brin... (read in full...)
How do I tell him it's more than friendship
Q. I'm head over heels in love with one of my friends. It all started a little over a year ago at a mutual friends birthday party. We were both drunk and ended up making out. Ever since that night it kind of just became a thing. When we were both out ...
A. 15 February 2016: What a terrible situation for you to be in. I can completely understand why you would be scared. We are all scared of getting rejected. But the fear you have is standing in the way of you being happy. At the moment you are not happy with this set ... (read in full...)
Do you think my crude jokes ruined my chances during the first date?
Q. There is a guy that I had been talking to for about a week. We spoke through text and calls, and finally met up for a first date last Saturday. He did not call me back after that date, so I have been analyzing everything I have said or done to make ...
A. 15 February 2016: Your friends are right, you should just be yourself. Don't try and be anyone else. There could be a number of reasons why he never asked for a second date yet. Don't beat yourself up about it. Plenty more fish in the sea. ... (read in full...)
Starting to mistrust these excuses
Q. I was in a failed marriage for 10 years when i started dating a colleague who is 3 years younger. He was quite confident of our future at that time so i went ahead and filed for divorce with my husband. Now the guy I am dating feels that I am rush...
A. 15 February 2016: No I don't think that you should trust him. When you where married, he was able to see you on his terms without having the label of being committed to you. He gave you empty promises to keep you sweet.
Now that you have filed for divorce this has ... (read in full...)
How do I let go of an incident that happened to my boyfriend months ago?
Q. How do I move on from here? A few months ago, my boyfriend and I attended a school party where alcohol was involved (We are both in university, although in different ones and yes, the students from other universities are allowed in that party.)....
A. 15 February 2016: Yes it has given you trust issues it seems. Please don't compare you getting cheated on to this incident. She kissed him, you saw that yourself. He probably wasn't sure what to do, and lets face it, she was not actually full on snogging him! It ... (read in full...)
I still have feelings for my ex 4 years later
Q. Dear Cupid, im finding it hard to forget my first love. We broke up in 2012 yet i still have feelings for him. i tried so many stuffs to forget him like deleting his pictures, blocking him, going out with my friends etc but to no avail. I know he ...
A. 15 February 2016: It is always the hardest to get over our first love. You are scared off loving again in case you get hurt. That is natural but you need to take that leap in order to allow yourself to be happy.
You done all the right things, deleting all your memo... (read in full...)
My highly controlling husband is trying to make me feel insecure and jealous
Q. My husband is highly controlling. My husband is deliberately trying to make me feel jealous and insecure. It seems to be when he feels jealous of me or I don't do something he wants me to do or something he doesn't like. So it seems like he uses it ...
A. 12 February 2016: If you don't want to be in a controlling relationship, then get out now before it is to late. This is your life, and you are in control of it. Your husband sees you as weak, someone he can control and who will not stand up for herself. Be confident ... (read in full...)
I am interested in a friend of the family's daughter who is 10 years younger than me. Should I not go there?
Q. Please don't be upset with me as I know how it looks and seems but I'm really confused. I'm a 31 year old male (Jan.) and I've been single since the summer of last year. Just recently during the holidays I have been spending a lot of time with my ...
A. 12 February 2016: You wouldn't be doing anything wrong, as she is an adult. However you should really think this through first. Both your parents are close, so if you both don't work out, this could cause a lot of bother in there friendship. Also I know age is only a ... (read in full...)
Could he be cheating while away? He said 'Good Night'.
Q. My husband is away on an overnight business trip. Let's say he cheated on me that night. Would he text me "Good night" or would he avoid texting me altogether? Which would be more likely? Texting Good night is not something he does every night whe...
A. 12 February 2016: what are your reasons for suspecting him off cheating?... (read in full...)
He doesn't want to date me, but gets mad if someone else is interested. What's the problem?
Q. i been talk to this guy over 3 yrs on the phone. We never went out. We talk about ever thing I only talk 2 times a week or if he sick i call ever other day check on him. I fell in love with him. I never told him right off but i did ask ...
A. 12 February 2016: He is playing mind games with you, no he doesn't love you, he doesn't want to be with you, but he is selfish and doesn't want anyone else to have you. He probably likes the attention that you give him, he likes that you care about him, but he ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is lovely but doesn't seem to have time for me!
Q. I've known my boyfriend for four years now and we were friends until two weeks back when i agreed to be his girlfriend over the phone (phone call). He is in another city near mine for his studies so he always tell me he is busy. I don't know what to ...
A. 12 February 2016: Its still very early in this relationship. Its great use have been friends, so you know each other, and well he obviously likes you or he would not have asked you to be his girlfriend two weeks ago.
A long distant relationship can be tough, espe... (read in full...)
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