How can I deal with complex emotions and the feelings I have that my life will spiral out of control if I break up with her? Sexually she no longer appeals
Q. My question has so many angles I realy dont know how to sum it up. There are so many parts that need more explaining but I simply cant fit them all in. I will try to summarise. I am a 47 year old male. I come from a broken familly. I have bee...
A. 19 May 2016: We are always here to listen and to help :-)... (read in full...)
How can I deal with complex emotions and the feelings I have that my life will spiral out of control if I break up with her? Sexually she no longer appeals
Q. My question has so many angles I realy dont know how to sum it up. There are so many parts that need more explaining but I simply cant fit them all in. I will try to summarise. I am a 47 year old male. I come from a broken familly. I have bee...
A. 18 May 2016: I can see why you feel guilty, but remember she is the one that choose to help you, she cannot force you to love her, but she can help you. I think personally that you need to tell her the truth. Don't be blunt but just gently tell her you love her ... (read in full...)
Do I walk away? Or do I try to explain how I am feeling to my Bf?
Q. Hello everyone, I'm just going to jump right in with the story. So I've been dating my on off boyfriend for 2 years and anyway he's 10 years older than me and due to stupid things he's done in the past still lives at home with his dad. The p...
A. 18 May 2016: It is normal for your boyfriend yes. He lives with his dad, he loves his dad, it seems his dad is very attached to him and neither of them want that to change. The thing is if you are unhappy with his situation then the best thing to probably do is ... (read in full...)
My bf thinks I'm scared of sex because I'm still a virgin?
Q. But the truth is...I am nervous about doing it with a real person. But I've also been using sex toys for over a year now. And some are bigger or the same size as my bf (I gave him handjobs so I know his size). To me the toys are really private so I ...
A. 18 May 2016: Sweetie he only wants sex, he is working on your emotions to try and make you feel like you should both be having sex. It is way to soon. I would wait and see if he actually does care about you, but it sounds like he is only wanting sex. His promise ... (read in full...)
Too much of a good thing is still too much, how do I get her to understand?
Q. OK my wife had a serious accident. And now we don't have interiors. She says it hurts her very bad She will give me blow jobs and I give her head Now my problem is she wants to do it all the time I mean 3 or 4 times a day I get up in the ...
A. 18 May 2016: I feel for you, you are in a terrible situation. Maybe your wife does enjoy it but I also fear that she has lost all her self esteem when she got disabled, she is probably scared that you will go and have sex with another woman because she cannot ... (read in full...)
She hasn't offered nor attempted to contribute funds to pay for some of our outings. How should I bring up the subject of money?
Q. I've been dating a woman for the last two months. We've been hitting it off with great chemistry and I really like her. The only thing that is nagging at me and I'm not sure how to approach her is about money. We have gone out to eat about 9-10 ...
A. 18 May 2016: I also agree with free dates, go for a stroll in the park, go for a picnic and bring a few cheap sandwiches. Hint to her that you have enjoyed taking her out and that it would be nice if she where to take you out some time ect. ... (read in full...)
Row with my mom caused to leave for the night. What if she doesn't return?
Q. me and my mum had a big row today and im worried it has ruined the love i used to have with her. i asked my mum for £50 to buy some shoes and she said yes then said as long as their sensible and i just murmerd yes mum. then i went out and bough...
A. 18 May 2016: She gave you that money on one condition, but you didn't care less as soon as she gave you the money you knew you would not do as she had asked. So that itself was disrespectful. When I was your age if I had asked my mum for that kind of money she ... (read in full...)
Is it alright to have my girlfriend live at the family house for the summer when she will be working with my dad?
Q. Hello everyone, I'm sorry if I kind of stopped giving advice, I had a lot of things in my plate this past month and well there is something that is really concerning me and I may need help. As summer vacation approaches me and my girlfriend TA...
A. 18 May 2016: If your parents are okay with it then you can ask her off course, but tell her it is only an option and that you don't want to pressure her in to anything. At the end of the day you are both adults and if your relationship is working then you should ... (read in full...)
Full of doubts about him. Feeling less trusting about him. Am I being too distrustful? Can I trust him?
Q. hey guys am in a relationship with this guy for three months now. i love him a lot and he says he also loves me a lot. he says i make him happy every time and so on. But the problem is one night when we were talking on phone and i asked him to g...
A. 18 May 2016: No you cannot trust him, if he was a decent man, he would convince you to tell your parents, as you are underage and still legally a child. It is what is called grooming and my guess is that he will take what he wants from you and then leave and ... (read in full...)
Full of doubts about him. Feeling less trusting about him. Am I being too distrustful? Can I trust him?
Q. hey guys am in a relationship with this guy for three months now. i love him a lot and he says he also loves me a lot. he says i make him happy every time and so on. But the problem is one night when we were talking on phone and i asked him to g...
A. 18 May 2016: At 15 you are still not legally an adult, so my advice would be to tell your parents, or even adult you trust, if age is not an issue then why not just tell your parents?... (read in full...)
Should I leave my wife because of her fixation on finding “the big one”?
Q. My wife is totally ignorant to me on occasssion. Thoughtless or worse. She cheated 4 years ago looking for 'the big one' as I caught her when she left FB open. It was a coworker and the brief fling happened after she lost her job. Turns out he w...
A. 18 May 2016: It seems you have developed the attitude if you cannot beat her you will join her. That is a shame really because at the beginning I thought you where a nice decent man, now it looks like you are sleazy and gross and having sex with anyone and ... (read in full...)
I don't know how to let down my emotional barrier.
Q. Hi so you're probably thinking how couhaveld trust issues with guys I'm too young or whatever. I've never had a boyfriend but I've seen those close to me being taken for a mug on a relationship including my mum. So now whenever I find myself getting ...
A. 18 May 2016: It sounds like he really is a good guy, you ask who can be sure? Well the answer is nobody can be sure, because we can only see what others allow us to see off themselves. That's the thing in life we need to be able to take a chance on someone and ... (read in full...)
I am just imagining things or does my friend like me?
Q. I have this guy friend and i like him. he is the type of boys who don't usually hang around girls. so i managed to make my first move on him. i talked to him first, and slowly, he started opening up. not like in any way you would think, but he ...
A. 17 May 2016: It sounds like he is shy, I cannot tell if he fancies you or not but if you like him then tell him, you have nothing to lose. Or if you want to take it slow then ask him to hang out just the two of you more so you can get to know each other ... (read in full...)
Why does he act so jealous?
Q. I have this one guy friend and i really like him. In fact, i've been so blunt and straight forward about my feelings. I told everyone about my feelings to him and i'm sure everyone including him knows about it. we hang out quite often and we a...
A. 17 May 2016: Tell him to his face that you like him, simple as that. Don't play games with him, don't try and make him jealous of other guys. That won't work it will only make you look like a tease. Be straight forward with him and ask him would he like to go ... (read in full...)
He only sends me a text when he's horny. Is it time to show him the door?
Q. me and my boyfriend have dated over 7-8 months now. Over the past 2 months it's so happening that he only texts me when he's horny.. Otherwise he never texts me nor speaks to me. so like i'm really confused. should i continue my relationship...
A. 17 May 2016: He does not sound like a boyfriend, if he only talks to you when he wants sex well then he is using you for his own pleasure. ... (read in full...)
Full of doubts about him. Feeling less trusting about him. Am I being too distrustful? Can I trust him?
Q. hey guys am in a relationship with this guy for three months now. i love him a lot and he says he also loves me a lot. he says i make him happy every time and so on. But the problem is one night when we were talking on phone and i asked him to g...
A. 17 May 2016: What age does that make you and him? Six years is a big gap at your age, maybe you would like to share more information with us on how you met your boyfriend, and also has your parents or friends met him?... (read in full...)
Should I keep the door of communication open to following our breakup?
Q. My boyfriend and I broke up three weeks ago, and I've been through all the crying and sulking and now I know that I need to just focus on my self. I am getting better, less irrational and hopeless. Our relationship was great, and we were both right ...
A. 17 May 2016: If it was me I would not wait around for anybody, I have done that in the past and well it did not have a good outcome. Yes you love him, but sweetie if he loved you he would figure out whatever it is he needs to figure out with you by his side. If ... (read in full...)
Is my Bf trying too hard? And is my reaction to my Bf's courtesy unreasonable?
Q. I think there is something wrong with me. my boyfriends ways get on my nerves. the way he has to go out of his way to hold the door open for very one. they don't even have to be close by, they dont even thank him. still he will stand there and ...
A. 17 May 2016: No I don't think you should talk to him again about it, because at the end of the day that is who he is, he goes out of his way to help others because he wants to. You cannot change him or make him show you more attention. If you feel neglected then ... (read in full...)
Did I over-react to his initial rejection ?
Q. Hi! So my husband and I went to different cities post marriage because of work and met recently after a gap of six long months. In order to spice things up I dressed up in a nice lingerie and surprised him. In his response he kissed me, then pus...
A. 17 May 2016: You are a young married couple therefore I can understand why you would be worried about his behavior, and obviously straight away you are going to take this as a rejection.
However in his defense, maybe he was taken aback by it, maybe after six ... (read in full...)
Have I saved myself a lot of grief between him and me? What is going on in this relationship?
Q. So long story short I started seeing this guy in September I wasn't used to gay/bi relationships then so was abit deflective. He ended up starting to see someone but he told me was casual we kept speaking and seeing one another but I got suspicious ...
A. 17 May 2016: He is cheating on his boyfriend with you, even if things ended with the boyfriend and he got with you he would probably find another bit on the side. He sounds like a player to me. He does not want to answer the tough questions therefore he just ... (read in full...)
Can I keep talking to him, even though I now know that he is not interested? Would that be too awkward?
Q. Alright so I had a huge crush on a friend of mine. I would talk to him about everyday, and it made me feel jittery and alive. I had dreamt about him near nightly, and felt nearly in love. He decided to talk to someone who we both know, and told them...
A. 17 May 2016: I think you need to distance yourself from him until you get over any romantic feelings you have for him. If you don't then you are going to end up just hurting and torturing yourself. You may want him as a friend, but your heart wants more than ... (read in full...)
The spark has gone. If we do split up then how will that affect our 4 year old daughter?
Q. Since the birth of our daughter, 4 years ago, my partner and I have drifted apart, we still enjoy one another's company and get along but there is no spark between us. Sex and even intimacy is non existent. We both agree that we love each other but ...
A. 17 May 2016: It doesn't need to effect your daughter. If you are not in love with each other any more and their is no passion in the relationship and you both agree then maybe the best thing to do is separate. The thing with this is your daughter will adapt with ... (read in full...)
I don't know how to let down my emotional barrier.
Q. Hi so you're probably thinking how couhaveld trust issues with guys I'm too young or whatever. I've never had a boyfriend but I've seen those close to me being taken for a mug on a relationship including my mum. So now whenever I find myself getting ...
A. 17 May 2016: You have saw those closest to you be taking for a mug therefore you have saw how bad a guy can treat a girl. Therefore maybe you can pick up them signs when you are looking for a guy for yourself? This guy that you like has he showed signs that he ... (read in full...)
I know my jealousy is irrational!
Q. Is it normal to feel jelous that my partner has kids with his ex but not with me? I understand that it is not rational to think this way but I can't help it. I think it is because it is the most personal thing that there is between two people, and I ...
A. 16 May 2016: I hate the word normal. Nobody is normal. We all feel different things, you are feeling jealous, you know it might be irrational but you are still feeling it. So therefore you have accepted that you are jealous of what he shares with his ex partner, ... (read in full...)
I don't know how to react or show emotions.
Q. What is up with me? I tend not to respond emotionally to situations but to think about the best way to respond. Recently my brother called to tell me my nephew was involved in a road accident, i was at work at the time. I asked a couple of question...
A. 16 May 2016: I think you already know what is up with you. Your past has damaged you as a person, changed you emotionally and is probably still draining you to this day. You said you would be over after work, maybe that is not what your brother wanted to hear, ... (read in full...)
I just wish she would initiate contact first!
Q. I’ve been dating a lovely girl for four weeks. I text her good morning every day, to which she responds right away. We usually have conversation, with both of us keeping the conversation going. It’s very balanced. The conversation usually tapers off ...
A. 16 May 2016: I don't think you should approach this subject so soon. It has only been twelve dates, and from what you write everything sounds positive from both sides.
Yes she does not initiate much, but that does not mean she is not interested. It could mean... (read in full...)
I like him but don't want to waste my emotions only to find out he doesn't feel the same way!
Q. I have been battling depression for a couple of years, I have never dated because I'm always too scared. I always cut them off as soon as possible. Recently I met this guy, he is one hell of a something, he is always happy and full of life, unlike ...
A. 16 May 2016: Okay first off, are you getting medical help for your depression and is it under control? If not then go to your doctor or talk to someone who is in mental health. You need to get yourself sorted to begin with. You say you are scared of dating, my ... (read in full...)
Should I ask my co-worker out to lunch?
Q. I am interested in my coworker. Should I ask her out to dinner? Signs (I think) she likes me: 1) The way she looks at me. I could just be entranced by her eyes/smile. 2) She eats her lunch when I do. I asked her to lunch today and she said ...
A. 16 May 2016: I think you should go for it, it is okay to only talk about work, because at the moment that is the connection between you both, I suggest when you go for lunch hint at dinner for the following week and see her reaction. ... (read in full...)
Did I miss the red flags on our first dates?
Q. I was wondering if I had missed this red flag? On a first date with a guy he mentioned his ex. He went a little into detail saying he had a 16 year old son and that he had to take his ex to court to get access to him. This I believe was some yea...
A. 13 May 2016: I would not say it was a red flag. He has a grown up son, guess he was just talking about his past and well sure you are both mature adults so he probably thought this type of conversation was okay. It sounds like he was being himself. Taking you to ... (read in full...)
We have a complicated 30 years together. I want to help my husband but don't know how!
Q. My husband and I were high school sweethearts. I was his first and he lied and said he had a few and I also lied and told him I had 2-3. It was a lot of partners. He has defended my honor in this little town we live in and has never questioned my ...
A. 13 May 2016: I have to agree and say you both need to go to couples therapy. There are so many emotional and dark issues here between you both. It sounds like you are aware that you are controlling and you know why you do it, it seems you have dealt with some ... (read in full...)
I'm married and had sex with a married man and now he wants nothing to do with me!
Q. Hi i am a married and have 10 childrens with my husband...I had sex with a a married man and then fell in love with him, after that only one day of sex in the park he now ignores me...and acts like i dnt exist im angry and feel like he used me...
A. 13 May 2016: The best thing that you can do is realize that he does not want to be with you, he used you for sex. So just leave him alone now and move on with your life. Then I guess you should leave your husband, or at the very least tell him the truth about ... (read in full...)
Should I worry that he's 13 years younger than me?
Q. I've been with the most wonderful guy for the past 4 months. He's intelligent, funny, affectionate, and romantic. He really cares about me and I care about him. He treats me like a princess and tells me that I am the sweetest woman he's ever been ...
A. 13 May 2016: Yes relax and enjoy life. Live in the moment and enjoy being happy. ... (read in full...)
Should I ask my co-worker out to lunch?
Q. I am interested in my coworker. Should I ask her out to dinner? Signs (I think) she likes me: 1) The way she looks at me. I could just be entranced by her eyes/smile. 2) She eats her lunch when I do. I asked her to lunch today and she said ...
A. 13 May 2016: Go for it and ask her out, my guess is that she will say yes. ... (read in full...)
Is he breaking up with me or just needs time? Where do I stand with him?
Q. Hello everyone! I'm in limbo with a man I have been seeing for the last 2 months. Everything between us has been going great, we enjoy each other's company and are very attracted to one another. He, however, is going through a lot of tough tim...
A. 13 May 2016: I think it is clear that he does not want to be with you, he told you straight out he did not want a relationship. I think you sounded a bit to clingy to him, he may have felt you where falling for him so he got out now before you got hurt. You may ... (read in full...)
Dating someone with multiple jobs...?
Q. I have been talking to this guy that I've had my eyes on for a while now.I find him interesting so I wanted to ask him if he'd like to hang out .However, I'm now discouraged because he told me that he has been working 4 jobs therefor he hasn...
A. 13 May 2016: There is no harm in trying is their? You will soon find out if he is a lost cause or not, if you don't try you will never know. ... (read in full...)
Is all body hair now a 'no no'!
Q. I am a 16 year old girl, and my problem might seam stupid but it causes me worry and embarrassment. I know my mother and elder sister have no body hair anywhere and I want to be the same but my mother has forbidden me to remove all my body hair ...
A. 13 May 2016: Talk to your mother again, tell her about what is happening when you go swimming, I think your mother is just worried about the fact that you might be wanting to get sexual with guys, she is being protective. Tell her the truth about the showers, ... (read in full...)
How do I get my parents to meet this older guy and not pass judgement?
Q. I was looking for some insight from some parents on this site, especially of college age kids. I currently live 5 hours away from my home town because I go to school. I work part time at a pub/ eatry. In October I met a really nice older guy who ...
A. 13 May 2016: It really depends on your parents and how they will react, their is no way off making sure that they are okay with this. You just need to be honest with them and see how it goes. You are still their little girl so I can see why they would be ... (read in full...)
Do I try to cancel out the weekend with a friend or ask my boyfriend for money?
Q. Hello, I have this friend I met about a year and a half ago. We're not very close, but we do talk and she invited me to her bachelorette party. The plan was to rent a house for the weekend along the beach and have a girl's weekend. I figur...
A. 13 May 2016: I agree cover your share of what the house will cost, as it has been booked, and then apologize, explain about work and what happened. It would not be fair on your boyfriend to pay for the whole weekend away. You have a holiday the following week ... (read in full...)
I'm suspicious of the friendship my husband has with his female boss
Q. Hello. I need advice in what to do. I am withy bf for 2 years.He was working in a place for 2 years and in that time he became friend with his female supervisor. A lady like 15 years older than him, they both speak the same mother language because ...
A. 13 May 2016: If you cannot trust him well then he is right you are as well breaking up. There is no point being in a relationship where their is no trust. I cannot tell if he is having an affair or not, but it does sound like they might just be good friends. ... (read in full...)
We hardly have sex and I think he's looking at porn! Advice?
Q. A few months back I caught my husband looking at porn on his tablet. he was also working away from home during the week and weekend all his underwear has cum stains in. we had lots of arguments bout this. now he is back home and for a long time his ...
A. 13 May 2016: Get a babysitter and go away for the weekend... (read in full...)
I'm at a loss how to handle this unfair and uncomfortable accusation!
Q. I've had a really bizarre situation and would like some advice and on how I can handle the situation from now. Yesterday there was a knock on my door my boyfriend answered and it was the police He came upstairs and told me they said there has been...
A. 12 May 2016: There are so many bad things happening to children in the world these days that some parents are over protective. They jumped the gun and went to the police, not because they had anything bad against you, just because they where scared for their ... (read in full...)
How do I know if my boyfriend fantasized about this other woman when we had sex?
Q. I have what might seem like a weird question. Is it normal for your boyfriend or partner to fantasize about another woman/person while having sex with you? Do people do this sometimes? Or is it just not ever spoken about? I am asking bec...
A. 12 May 2016: I think you are reading to much in to this. Okay so he found this girl attractive, but am sure he finds plenty of girls attractive on a daily basis does not mean he will pretend you are them. It sounds to me like he may have been stressed about ... (read in full...)
We hardly have sex and I think he's looking at porn! Advice?
Q. A few months back I caught my husband looking at porn on his tablet. he was also working away from home during the week and weekend all his underwear has cum stains in. we had lots of arguments bout this. now he is back home and for a long time his ...
A. 12 May 2016: Okay first off if he is wanting to look at porn, that is his right and he should be able to do that. Checking his underwear is taking things a bit to far in my opinion.
Now what you should be annoyed at is the fact he is not making an effort in t... (read in full...)
Should I leave my wife because of her fixation on finding “the big one”?
Q. My wife is totally ignorant to me on occasssion. Thoughtless or worse. She cheated 4 years ago looking for 'the big one' as I caught her when she left FB open. It was a coworker and the brief fling happened after she lost her job. Turns out he w...
A. 9 May 2016: What a shallow woman you choose to marry. Is she insecure with herself? Maybe this is why she is lashing out at you and bringing you down? Either way her behavior is unacceptable and really inappropriate. How dare she be so cruel to you and hit you ... (read in full...)
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